Asshole's "White Trash" Birthday Party
One of Papa Joe's cash pigs turned 24 on Friday and celebrated with a "white trash" themed party at his house in Encino, CA. Last year, Asshole Simpson threw an 80s theme party for her ugly barfday. What's next year? A stupiddumbtalentlessbitch theme party? They can go dressed as themselves!
A source who went to the party tells People that the menu included corn dogs, macaroni and cheese, chicken fingers and french fries. Shit, that's a boring menu. Where's the Ritz Cracker apple pie? The Kool-Aid spritzers? The Hungry Man frozen meals? The chipped beef dip? The Frito nachos? Once again Asshole Simpson has FAILED. If she was smart, she would've asked Brit Brit to cater that shit.
The source went on to say, "Ashlee wore Daisy Dukes and platform flip-flops with a bathing suit and a fake tattoo around her belly. Joe wore a cut-off muscle T-shirt and a mullet wig. It was funny. Jessica was wearing a crazy leopard-print dress that showed off a lot of cleavage."
You know, I bet you this "source" only thinks it was a white trash party, but it really wasn't. It was just the Simpsons hanging out in their backyard, being themselves.
For my birthday next year, I'm going to have an "Asshole and Pete" themed party. Everyone can come dressed up as emo vaginas, gigantic noses and dirty tampons. I'll serve bullshit stew and acid reflux cocktails.
Pete looks like a cave man if you minus the "metro" look or not. That poor baby has some serious physical strikes against it.
They wish it was "being themselves." Because even that would be slightly more interesting than a puddle of dried up puke.
What's a "white trash" party without a little Hawaiian Punch & Kamchatka?
Kiss,
Fifi
"Self improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction..."
it wasnt white trash okay!
i was an invited guest
it was fun!
www.MySpace.com/ItsJonaBitch
Submitted by Aunt Bea on October 8, 2008 - 3:57pm.
Why doesn't she just go away and take her sister with her?
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Pete has a sister?
For my birthday next year, I'm going to have an "Asshole and Pete" themed party. Everyone can come dressed up as emo vaginas, gigantic noses and dirty tampons. I'll serve bullshit stew and acid reflux cocktails.
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YOu forgot GREASY CHINS MK. LMAO
"It costs alotta money to look this cheap"-Dolly Parton
Why doesn't she just go away and take her sister with her?
Submitted by Michaela on October 8, 2008 - 10:57am.
They all came as themselves and had the nerve to call it a "theme."
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How meta.These people live perpetually impressed with themselves, i'm sure they all thought their white trash picnic was hysterical...
Anynose, Asshole probably gets on her knees everyday and prays her kid
doesn't come out with her old nose.
But she looks like she's got distorted preggo face. Seriously-pregnancy can really fuck with your face if you got the right genes for it.
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola /Happy Birthday, Amy
Yes, I am an attention whore. Don't look at me!
Goddamn, look at that chin! It's like Asshole's nosejob has done nothing to improve her looks but made her chin look bigger.
Christ, get an original idea. White Trash parties were over 6 years ago.
So Jessica came as herself, then?
I can't wait for their ghetto fabulous "theme" party.
☠
FTP: Fuck That Puto!
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
Submitted by speakit on October 8, 2008 - 1:37pm.
Just name the time and place speakit. I'll be there in my Daisy Dukes and platform flip-flops with a bathing suit and a fake tattoo around my belly (my business casual attire).
Submitted by pompom on October 8, 2008 - 1:32pm.
I'm not all serious and shit, but I don't really see what is funny about this theme. White trash can't help being white trash (I know I can't). What's funny about that?
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Elitists. Let's go punkin chunkin.. target? Their windshields.
Then we can have a "We think we're better than everybody" party. We'll just line the walls with mirrors, smile at ourselves, but make rude faces at everyone else.
"You know, I bet you this "source" only thinks it was a white trash party, but it really wasn't. It was just the Simpsons hanging out in their backyard, being themselves."
That's exactly what I was thinking!!
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I'm not all serious and shit, but I don't really see what is funny about this theme. White trash can't help being white trash (I know I can't). What's funny about that?
I never realized that a chin could grow back after plastic surgery.
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You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, cuz I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass!
it all sounds like an excuse for papa joe to wear a muscle shirt and a wig.
No canned cheese and no G-strings? How the hell am I supposed to celebrate New Years?
Ugh, those two are so annoying. Pete bugs me with his "guyliner" and she just plain bothers the shit out of me. She never used to bother me (that much) until she did the "be OK with your looks and body" article for marie claire where she talked about being OK with her nose and figure and then turns around and gets a nose job. Nice message to send those teen girls. Such a lovely do as I say and not as I do message. What a twat.
Isn't the whole point of a theme party to have a theme that is not YOU? Like a Great Gatsby theme, or a sci-fi theme, or SOMETHING that does't describe your family.
And ye gods, how long is Ashlee gonna be pregnant? Have they not bought a baby to convince the world that this douchebag is actually capable of manly functions yet?
Asslick's nosejob isn't settling very well. Gona have to go in for a tune-up.
Sally, you've got mail.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
_Submitted by speakit on October 8, 2008 - 12:03pm.
SECKS EEEEEEEEEE TIMES!
*bends over*
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Migraine!!!!!!!! Drama! xoxoxoxoxo
Submitted by LoLo on October 8, 2008 - 11:45am.
_Submitted by speakit on October 8, 2008 - 11:43am.
I like you, ho.
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I like you too. Wanna have secks?
Pete Wentz is bulemic.
I must be one grumpy slut today because I'm offended that "white trash" has become a party theme these twats feel entitled to bash. It takes all kinds of trash to be garbage...
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Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, "Booty - mmm mmm." - Christopher Titus
Nooooo! I want to know who speakit is!
☻There's nothing like the taste of sweet decline---Foo Fighters☻
ah, speakit.....have it your way.....I have some supsicions, but i will keep them to myself....:)
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I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
-Alanis Morisette "You Learn"
Sal: For a wee bit -- I was home yesterday. It has been quiet the last few days, that's for sure.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by Fred Flintstone on October 8, 2008 - 11:49am.
Yawn - really scraping the bottom of the barrel today are we MK?
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He's not scraping the bottom of the barrel, these turds float.
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Dramas,
I am avoiding work!
Where you you at our "other" hang yesterday? I tried to communicate, but nobody e'd me back :(
☻There's nothing like the taste of sweet decline---Foo Fighters☻
Migraine Sally! Long time no see, ho! How are you?
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by Fred Flintstone on October 8, 2008 - 11:49am.
Yawn - really scraping the bottom of the barrel today are we MK?
Its not his fault man!
What do you want him to do? Go out and plant stories or force feed some tart some crazy pills?
At least his shit is funny.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
What up hookers?!
☻There's nothing like the taste of sweet decline---Foo Fighters☻
Yawn - really scraping the bottom of the barrel today are we MK?
_Submitted by speakit on October 8, 2008 - 11:43am.
I like you, ho.
_____________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on October 8, 2008 - 11:26am.
speakit, it has been making me and a few others nuts- who were you in your "past life" here at DL?
heehee
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Yeah, you add that little 'heehee'. All it would take is ONE person to know, then everyone would know yabunchofcluckinghens, DONT DENY! So, if I have to say it, then I don't need to say it, cuz it doesn't matter. I'm guessing more than a few know though. I won't deny it if I'm outted. Won't confirm it either. :P
Who cares
Too bad I missed it. I could have worn my fleece jacket with all the lighthouses of the east coast, my muffintop jeans and my counterfeit crocs.
There are worse people. She's just doing what Daddy says.
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R.I.P. Rupert!
_Submitted by parissucksliterally on October 8, 2008 - 11:26am.
I have guesses. Ill take her any way I can get her.
Doll then, doll now.
Did that saound wheeeeeeeey Gheeeeeeey? ha ha ha
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by islandgirl on October 8, 2008 - 11:27am.
dramaqueen... oh, screw it! The sun is over the yardarm SOMEWHERE on the planet, right?
That's my girl!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
dramaqueen... oh, screw it! The sun is over the yardarm SOMEWHERE on the planet, right?
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Watch out...
You might get what you're after.
I really hate them.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
speakit, it has been making me and a few others nuts- who were you in your "past life" here at DL?
heehee
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I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
-Alanis Morisette "You Learn"
IG, I'm very disappointed. You are my cyber drinking buddy!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Hahaha, dramaqueen! My bad. And when you say drinking, do you mean like in the last 24 hours? Absolutely not!! ;)
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Watch out...
You might get what you're after.
Submitted by NitWitty on October 8, 2008 - 11:03am.
@Speakit, that's called a grey goose theme day!
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LOL! No grey goose for me. Maybe generic brand nyquil shots?
OnTopic: I don't hate them. Sorry, I'll work on it.
IG: Have you been drinking already? I meant his clitoris, of course!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247