Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Once again, Rojo Caliente, The Empress of Lucite and Chicken Cutlets have been robbed! Esquire named Halle Berry as the sexiest sexy sex piece who ever sexed. Or something like that. Halle recreated one of Bill Clinton's Esquire covers, but did it without a shirt and pants. She also looks like she's ready for a pap smear.
On Esquire's website, A few writers pretending to be Halle has written a long ass "acceptance speech." Seriously, it's long as fuck. Click here to read that shit. She talks about orgasms and what she finds sexy. Halle finds spaghetti sexy! She writes, "To me, spaghetti is sexy, especially when it's served off the tips of a man's fingers. I like that." Spaghetti off of a man's fingers? Don't the noodles slide off onto the floor and shit? And doesn't some of the delicious sauce get stuck in his nails? No thanks.
Yes, we already know that Halle is gorgeous and that her vagina probably smells like rose petals, but do we need to be reminded about this time after time? I feel like the same broads are always named the "sexiest" or "most beautiful." If it isn't Halle, it's Charlize, MiserAlba or Saint Angie Jo. Can't they throw somebody else a bone? Chicken Cutlets is just sitting there, waiting. Esquire can even change the title to the "Sexiest Pair of Chicken Cutlets Alive."
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Nothing looks less classier than a woman with her legs open. It is sad to see them call it art.
So why ain't they showin' her stubby legs?
Submitted by Winominx on October 8, 2008 - 5:30pm.
I don't think personality is a factor for any "sexiest woman alive" list. Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johannson don't seem to have much personality either, but they're still sexy.
Halle has a point, though. Why not make her Sexiest back when she was a Bond Girl, back when she made successful movies? It's like when Maxim made Sarah Michelle Gellar their Sexiest Woman last year when the only thing she did was Southland Tales. That movie wasn't even released in theaters, or at least not many of them.
The main stream media doesn't know SHIT about what sexy is anymore. She has no personality, NONE. Her good looks are the only reason why she's in any movie or list.
Back it up, boys.
I don't doubt that she wrote that acceptance speech. Girl showed up to accept her Razzie for Catwoman, she obviously loves that kind of stuff.
I wonder if Halle ever has a bad day? Doubt it.
Not crazy about Halle. She's pretty but all those things swirling around her (dui, hit n run, whoring) makes her no different then any other pig in Hollywood.
This chica is a hot mama.
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Sorry Granny. That comment was for Nova.
@Granny Frump: You are such a racist. Affirmative Action is NOT reverse discrimination. The whole (racist) idea of REVERSE discrimination totally reinforces the idea that there is a master race in the first place, you Racist. There's more than 2 races so how exactly does one reverse them?
You don't even suggest a name of someone hotter than Berry. Because seriously, no one is justifiably hotter than her.
She looks stupid in those poses. Who needs it?
I have been grossed out by her ever since I saw her in the thong in her sex scene in monster's ball.
http://nocheezplease.blogspot.com/
Justina,
I've actually noticed that, turns out it has been scientifically proven. The melanin (the pigment that determines skin color) In black people and "people of color" slows down the aging process of their skin. So they do not age as fast and do have less wrinkles, and among other things it protects against ultraviolet light that cause skin cancer... You learn something new every day.
I think "black don't crack" refers to supposedly less wrinkles.
Submitted by Nova on October 8, 2008 - 10:50am.
"she is pretty, she is sexy, but most definitely NOT sexiest woman alive. This is affirmative action at work (read:reverse discrimination). It is just as deserving as her affirmative action Oscar and acting skills."
Did you accidentally wander over to Dlisted from the Storm Front site?
As they say black don't crack, my conceited neighbor use to say that all the time. (What does that mean by the way.) Any how she look good, angie ho should be the last person on any sexy list.
I rather have Halle. They could've picked Angelina, or Meagan Fox, or Jessica simpson, so I'm fine with Halle.
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So you’re talking someone that’s as stupid and talentless and messed up as Britney Spears cooking? Anthony Bourdain
Submitted by Nanners on October 8, 2008 - 9:52am.
Hey, Nanners! Nice to see your wittiness back! We need some Nanners round here.
OT: Don't get how such a beauty as Halle could be so not-interesting.
.
She's gorgeous, but I agree with some of you that all the talk about what she finds sexy is old hat and kinda forced...the spaghetti thing is just plain dumb.
She has some sweet melons!
Guys, I can deal with Halle....she IS gorgeous.
They could have picked Megan Fox or Kim Kardashian, so I am pleased. Other magazines have praised those talentless whores....
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I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
-Alanis Morisette "You Learn"
OK, we all know Halle Berry is hot.
Blah blah blah.
Now give back that Oscar you robbed from Sissy!!!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
I agree with MK. Enough with the same women all the time. There are so many other beautiful girls out there that would require far less photoshopping. Just the usual media brainwashing into making us think these women are sooooo gorgeous, the MOST gorgeous women EVER OMG they're so sexy, everyone wants them. Give me a break.
She definitely had her nose done. It was a lot different in her younger pre-superstar days. I think that's all she did though. Pretty sure she is chicken cutlet free.
she is beautiful, but i dont really find her sexy...and what is with all the booze talk? she needs booze to relax for sex?? it all sounds so contrived. i also dont need know how halle is in charge of her orgasms. if i wanted to make myself come i would, thats why he is there...she is BORING!!
This woman can do no wrong in my book, looks wise she is just so fucking perfect I want to stick my head in the toilet for repeated flushes.
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http://www.aamyko.com
Jordan's REAL voice & It ain't pretty!
She is sexy, but clearly theres more to desirability than that. I agree with Esquire, so long as they're talking pure physicality. From what I know though, sexiness always involves so much more than that. Taking all of Halles crap into account, shes really unattractive, actually.
she is pretty, she is sexy, but most definitely NOT sexiest woman alive. This is affirmative action at work (read:reverse discrimination). It is just as deserving as her affirmative action Oscar and acting skills.
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*Power corrupts*Absolute power corrupts absolutely*
She's hot...but a really shitty actress. The Oscar she won was a joke.
She's no Rojo Caliente ...
... but she does look pretty hot.
I wonder if Angelina gets pissed or jealous when she hears that she wasn't named sexiest in the world for the 800th time.
I bet she does.
And Halle IS the sexiest! She's so hot!
Submitted by OVO-606 on October 8, 2008 - 10:06am.
Yeah she's pretty and all...
But she's so BORING
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At least they didn't choose Angelina...
I always thought Halle Berry was attractive but in a way that wasn't very interesting--i.e. boring.
yes fine halle is gorgeous and sexy *yawn*
woudlnt we all be with enough money to stuff chicken cutlets into our faces?
celebutard for sure
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Whatever. Halle was a pretty girl who got a lot of shit done to her so now she's physically beautiful. Impressive, really. Perhaps I'd like her better if she stopped with the Hit and Run DUI's, sleeping with married men and all around treating those around her like peons in her presence. Like I said, whatever.
Wait....what???? Someone tell me what the heck is going on cuz I just narcalepsied again....(yeah it's a word so shooooooooooooosh :)
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"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
"Cake heals all wounds"
Why not just pour steaming alfredo over his manhood and go to town? Geezuz. I'm sick of getting too much information from celebutards. And Halle, you're pretty, but you aint that hot.
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How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
Submitted by Cocoa Mocha Sugar on October 8, 2008 - 10:20am.
LOL im laughing at some of the people saying halle's not sexy. urm... do any of you bitches look better than halle? Close to it? Half as pretty? Even remotely sexy? That's what i thought...
I've always been open about my ugliness. Halle is a supersexy babeoid from the planet Hot!
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TEAM OJ!! INNOCENT!!!! :o(
LOL im laughing at some of the people saying halle's not sexy. urm... do any of you bitches look better than halle? Close to it? Half as pretty? Even remotely sexy? That's what i thought...
I think halle is goregous. who didn't know that. I think she's better with short hair, the long hair distracts from her face. Otherwise, im not gonna say she's not sexy. for one, a man is in a better position to know what's sexy to them than i do.
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"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between." - Oscar Wilde
Mira, "Can't they throw someone else a bone?" I agree. The winner should have been the chick from Showgirls. Wass her name again? Elizabeth Berkley-yes gorgeous, sexy and Oscar worthy.
Ah, here's the cover explanation...
http://www.esquire.com/features/making-halle-berry-cover-1108
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Hot? YES! Sexy... she seems like she's too nice to be all out "sexy".
Thank all that's good in this world that fucking Britzilla or any other of the talentless rejects that we curse out didn't win.
Esquire restores a little confidence and quietly cashes the cheque from Halle ;)
--thanks awfully--
Submitted by snowpiece on October 8, 2008 - 10:06am
I'm hoping those shirts aren't supposed to be in reference to people she said she admired or something...but I have the feeling that might explain the pose a bit.
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Spaghetti is sexy? ok, whatever.
Now, Spaghetti Cat - that's sexy!!
does anyone get why the whole Bill Clinton thing? not that I have any problem with that sexy ho being "included" in the shoot...
seriously tho, thank god it's her and not AJ Miseralba etc.
****************************1/20/09
"This young lady here in the green shirt she done decked a girl out - Tracy Turnblad. Poor girl over there devastated. She ain't dancing around today."
Yeah she's pretty and all...
But she's so BORING
Pretty, yes. Sexiest, no.
She has an Oscar for being pretty, shouldn't that be enough for this no-talent twit?
Catwoman
Gothika
Swordfish
Things We Lost in the Fire
Playing "Jinx" in whatever that Bond movie was
B*A*P*S
ZZzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzz
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
I don't like that post w/ her laying down, her legs look a bit.. uh, big? or not too sexy, i believe.. but then again, I believe I can fly some nights, too! so what do I know..
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Thanks boomsy !
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"FFS millions of people eat sushi!!!!
Why eat bait?"
-Mrs Kravitz
Submitted by Mel-Tang on October 8, 2008 - 9:51am.
I think abandoned couch with its legs spread open would have been much sexier.
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The abandoned couch has too much dignity to spread its legs. What is with these bithches and their inability to keep their legs together? Off topic, what is the problem with rimadyl?
Wow, the baby belly must be significant, or do they normally make these people wear advertisement t-shirts? Was there too much belly to photoshop perhaps? Or maybe she refused to show her belly....hmm...
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'