David Crosby Talks Peen
Yeah, this isn't strange. David Crosby has somehow found himself as part of the case between Rob Lowe and his former nasty nanny. Laura Boyce (the nasty nanny) claims she was sexually harassed by the Lowes. They're currently going through a bunch of court shit.
TMZ reports that David hung out with Laura Boyce and the Lowes in Hawaii last year. He said in a declaration that Laura kept talking about big dicks. Can we please get audio of David saying this!
David said that Laura openly talked about only dating "black guys because of their cocks." David went on to say, "Laura Boyce was open about her personal life and dating preferences and freely discussed that in front of my wife and me."
A friend of the Lowes also said in a declaration that the always classy Laura talked about jumbo peen a lot. The friend said, "Laura began bragging about the size of her boyfriend's penis. Laura said that her boyfriend was an African American athlete. Laura bragged that her boyfriend's penis was 'the second largest cock in the NBA.'" How big was his wang you ask? Well, the Lowes' friend went on to say that it was so big that Laura "had to wear a 'life saver' so that his penis didn't 'rip her pussy apart."
For the children out there, a "life saver" is a ring you put on your massive schlong so that it doesn't poke out an organ or anything.
First of all, Laura Boyce probably shouldn't be a nanny anymore, right? What the hell kind of nanny talks like that?! They should be talking about spoonfuls of sugar. Not about cock!
Second of all, if her boyfriend has the second biggest dick in the NBA, who has the first? How do they determine this? Do they say, "Welcome to the NBA! We need to measure your dick now"? And where is this list kept? Is it open to the public? Are there pictures as proof? I need to know the answers to these questions! The welfare of my private areas depend on it!
haha Diddy kicked her off Danity Kane last night.. Muahahahah! Bad lil Slut!!
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Submitted by TITS on October 7, 2008 - 11:31pm.
On porn: I only like homemade (me and my hotty) with NO videocams
On avataggggrrrrhhh: Holey tube Batman! :)
On topic: Lifesavers are also lovely little lollies in Aus (shaped like your avatar).
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@angel_i
Hahahahaha. Chola-vampire! Loves her!
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*no comment*
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
"That's why they have YouPORN;"
Ok, confession time. I spent one morning watching stuff on youporn. My conclusion is that amature porn is the absolute WORST.
“The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook”
Grampa kinda hot sexy.
Ew.
Submitted by boomsy on October 7, 2008 - 11:33pm.
Submitted by angel_i on October 7, 2008 - 11:26pm
That's why they have YouPORN;
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Aha! New porn sources! But today's porn is so...technical. Whatever happened to those pizza delivery guys and plumbers anyway?!?
PS@MK! DAMN THESE NUMBERS!
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy
I don't believe David Crosby. Look at his chicken neck. It does not inspire confidence.
Are you sure this fucker isn't dead? Looks like it and if he is not he looks like maybe what 75?
Submitted by speakit on October 7, 2008 - 11:34pm.
I don't like porn dammit.
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None of us do. The internet grew so rapidly from people searching for the lyrics to "love the one you're with".
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Change just brings problems - Doug
There's redtube too. I have not went there! Someone just told me about it.
I don't like porn dammit.
@TITS: What a big lifesaver you have...
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Submitted by angel_i on October 7, 2008 - 11:26pm
That's why they have YouPORN; you don't remember Ms. O'Day saying she loved that site?
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Isn't there a booble - a porn google? I bet they have a video option.
(waiting for comments on my avatar. tap tap tap)
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Change just brings problems - Doug
Submitted by aquarius on October 7, 2008 - 11:20pm.
Submitted by angel_i on October 7, 2008 - 10:35pm.
Don't be a tease... I've got to see this now! I'm going to go Youtube "giant penis porn." LOL
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Well, this was before YouTube got bought and even then it was removed pretty quick. Hardcore is a YouTube no-no. Boobies? No problem:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy
Submitted by angel_i on October 7, 2008 - 10:35pm.
Don't be a tease... I've got to see this now! I'm going to go Youtube "giant penis porn." LOL
ok, this is by far the funniest thread i have read on dlisted in months i am pissing my panties...quick get me a lifesaver....before i float away....I agree if she was getting the huge peen she wouldnt be talking about it...and if she was dating someone in the NBA she wouldnt be changing the shitty diapers of perverted OLD Rob Lowes kids and talking about it with his nasty old freinds.
and god knows....if a LIFESAVERthis is a new concept to me...but if its neccessary for some...it sure doesnt sound sexy...it sounds about as sexy as a toilet seat extender or a penis pump. just saying. Love and kisses
Submitted by boomsy on October 7, 2008 - 10:26pm.
Submitted by angel_i on October 7, 2008 - 10:24pm
It wasn't the dude with the world's longest penis, was it? Because he was a freak of nature (IMO) from what I saw.
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Really, I think it was just some porn someone snuck on there in the middle of the night. It didn't look like anything special...some cheap hotel room couch...
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy
Submitted by angel_i on October 7, 2008 - 10:24pm
It wasn't the dude with the world's longest penis, was it? Because he was a freak of nature (IMO) from what I saw.
**********************************************
Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Submitted by boomsy on October 7, 2008 - 10:11pm.
@angel_i: Can't imagine there's a huge market for that (no pun intended)
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OMG This one time at band camp...?
But seriously - I saw a YouTube once. I only clicked cuz I couldn't believe I was seeing what I thought I was seeing but I was.
This woman (and she wasn't TINY either - not fat or anything but pretty average (with nice boobies:)) was fucking HUGGING this peen with her WHOLE body. It was as long as her torso at least. She did other things with it too. They didn't use a lifesaver but I wish they had cuz I was nervous, lemme tell you.
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy
The thought of David Crosby talking about peen makes me laugh and nauseous at the same time.
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Steve Smith: So you're saying I should never, ever have sex before marriage?
Stanley Smith: That's right. Or angels will kill you. Good night.
Everyone is entitled to their sex life and preferences, and I guess it's fine if that woman wants to be so open about her sex life - in her PRIVATE LIFE.
I do NOT want to know that much detail about an employee's sex life. It sounds like she has boundary issues, and that's not someone I want taking care of my kids.
@angel_i: Can't imagine there's a huge market for that (no pun intended)
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Submitted by boomsy on October 7, 2008 - 9:52pm.
Call me naive, but I still don't get the whole lifesaver thing.
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It's like a cock ring, no? Keeps it from getting all the way in there...
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy
Submitted by Bossy on October 7, 2008 - 9:45pm.
Thanks for filling us children in MK, I really had no clue what that was...in fact, as I read, I thought it was just an expression or something until you clarified.
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This site is educational isn't it? See, we're not just killing time.
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Change just brings problems - Doug
What woman, nanny or not..would think to discuss peen with turkey neck man? Hideous.
Call me naive, but I still don't get the whole lifesaver thing.
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Thanks for filling us children in MK, I really had no clue what that was...in fact, as I read, I thought it was just an expression or something until you clarified.
Donkey cocks are superfluous, but bigger definitely makes a good first impression.
Why is it that David Crosby is always around when peen matters arise?
Submitted by Athina on October 7, 2008 - 8:03pm.
Women who brag about wanting/needing huge cocks usually fall into one of two camps. Either they are very inexperienced and think it's cool because they heard someone say it on Sex and the City; OR, they are huge whores with enormous, stretched-out hoohas.
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That being said, I would like to announce that I have only had sex with the smallest of penis'. Really. They were tiny:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy
what sane person would talk whit David Crosby about the size of their boyfriends penis????????
If Laura Boyce doesn't get another jod has a nanny she can make money by renting her vagina to dock megayatch's
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
First of all, Laura Boyce probably shouldn't be a nanny anymore, right? What the hell kind of nanny talks like that?! They should be talking about spoonfuls of sugar. Not about cock!
Second of all, if her boyfriend has the second biggest dick in the NBA, who has the first? How do they determine this? Do they say, "Welcome to the NBA! We need to measure your dick now"?
LMFAO!! HILARIOUS - MK - YOUR'E JUST HILARIOUS.
Morbid. My dog's name is Morbid.
Mandingos = broke ass pussies.
That's just a theory. I wouldn't know. :(
soooo....in other words, laura's hooch is so ginormous that it takes a massive chocolate donkey dick with AND a "lifesaver" to keep the dick from poking out her eyeballs...i now have a visual...
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if you don't want to be used, then don't be a tool...
Submitted by tharuffian on October 7, 2008 - 8:10pm.
wouldnt it be interesting if thoseee kind of lifesavers came in a roll of yummy diff flavors and were sold at walgreens next to the trojans? {which beats the dora the explorer doll i saw next to the condoms im sure}
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Once new a girl who said she would put a lifesaver (the nice kind) up her.. self. As a tasty surprise or something I forget her words. Wintergreen or spearmint would be good - like toothpaste.
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Change just brings problems - Doug
wouldnt it be interesting if thoseee kind of lifesavers came in a roll of yummy diff flavors and were sold at walgreens next to the trojans? {which beats the dora the explorer doll i saw next to the condoms im sure}
LMAO @ Spoiled. I had a Puerto Rican boyfriend in college who was huge. It took weeks to for me to build up the courage to go all the way with him. After a few weeks of missionary-style sex, he had the nerve to bring up the possibility of anal. Oh HELL naaw!
Submitted by justjane on October 7, 2008 - 7:14pm.
Just recalled that Kim Kardassian is another one who dates "only black men." She's got a suspiciously cavernous vibe about her too...hmmm.
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'about' her? or in her, and it goes hmmmm haha.
i'm a child.
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Change just brings problems - Doug
Laura Boyce's vagina is so spacious her OBGYN has to tie a rope around his waist and wear a miner's hat when he inspects her.
Laura Boyce's vagina is so humongous that there's a Costco and a Wal*Mart inside it.
Laura Boyce's vagina is so massive it took Boston 15 years to complete its construction.
Laura Boyce's vagina is so huge, she queefed and buried an entire village in Italy.
Laura Boyce's vagina is so vast black holes are afraid of getting sucked into it.
Women who brag about wanting/needing huge cocks usually fall into one of two camps. Either they are very inexperienced and think it's cool because they heard someone say it on Sex and the City; OR, they are huge whores with enormous, stretched-out hoohas.
OK. I google'd life saver, penis and ring and got nothing. How does it work? I know I sound stupid, and I guess when it comes to this stuff, I am!
By the way, I love reading you guys' funny posts! You rock!
You've got that right, Christine and M.E. I used to date a Dutch guy when I was younger. My cervix would get so abused, it would get tricked into going into friggin' contractions! I knew exactly what labor was like many years before I actually had kids. There definitely is such a thing as too big, and thanks, but no thanks to that.
Just add Crosby. Everything becomes more interesting.
"Pete Dougherty arrested--by David Crosby!"
"Jennifer Aniston's hot date--with David Crosby!"
"Britney's new comeback single--remixed by David Crosby!"
This is a f'ing funny ass post and you crazy bitches make me laugh.
For the record, I did not know about this type of life saver.
David C is so random.
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She's flat and that's that!
Just recalled that Kim Kardassian is another one who dates "only black men." She's got a suspiciously cavernous vibe about her too...hmmm.
====== If this is true, then she is an idiot and a whore. Or shall I say...a dumb slut? That's it.
It's even worse the next day.
I'm starting to believe these women who want the enormous peen are like throwing a hot dog down a hallway..
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But I've got to say. You should look into getting a life too "Christine the Hoff". You're another one thats always on here wasting your life away.
Hoff - not sure about the UTI, but definetly hurts. Total mood killer. You're going along having a good time, then STAB, loud shreik and....sexy times are over.
Submitted by M.E. on October 7, 2008 - 6:49pm.
it hurts and I think it leads to urinary tract infection to boot.
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But I've got to say. You should look into getting a life too "Christine the Hoff". You're another one thats always on here wasting your life away.