It's Not Even Halloween Yet!
Michele Allen of Middletown, Ohio was arrested for acting the fool around a bunch of children while dressed in a Kirstie Alley costume.
The police were called after Michele put on a cow costume, pissed on a neighbor's porch and chased a bunch of children around the neighborhood. How udderly rude! The officers warned Michele and told her to keep her udders to herself. They sent Michele back to her pen and thought that was the end of the mad cow, but it wasn't.
A couple of hours later, the cops had to come back, because Michele was blocking traffic. Officers smelled booze on her breath and said she was slurring her words.
Yesterday in court, the drunk cow pleaded guilty and a judge sentenced her to a month in the clink.
A month?! Damn. I thought this was a free country! Since when are you not allowed to put on a dollar store cow costume and run wild in the streets? I better think twice before putting on my Porky Pig costume and flashing my curly tail to frat boys in bars. That was my favorite Sunday afternoon activity. And yes, I know my tail shouldn't curl on its own. I'll have a medical professional look at it.
Thanks Andrew
ShareThis
*hands my Biatch a nice warm Cootchie, er, uh, cookie* YEAH..
-----------------------------------
Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
I wonder if she's done with that costume. I'd like to borrow it.
Y'know halloween isn't a tradition in Australia but occasionally we get kiddies knock on our door in silly costumes, that's how we know it's halloween...
Anyhooter, last year some kids knocked on the door of my elderly neighbour. He saw their basket of collected goodies so he took a handful, said thank you very much, and closed the door.
Okie!
I iz offically your biatch! I didn't think ANYONE would be that reference!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are through with lies and liars in this house. Lock the door.
Submitted by Clarisse on September 30, 2008 - 2:49pm.
LCT!
That's bad! I live alone, so i make really obnoxious noises, just because. Then i come in here and forget i'm around people and i'll bust out "If I were da king of the foressssssssssssssssssssssst!!!!!!!"
Or I'll yawn like Billie the zombie in Hocus Pocus!!!
----------------------------
You sing Wizard of Oz tunes in public? That's AWESOME. That's inspiring me to bust out in a little Lion King diddy right now.
"I'm gonna be a miiighty king, so enemies beware *rawr*"
Submitted by oklahoma on September 30, 2008 - 2:49pm.
@LCT Wet Pencils!!??? *says loud* *washes hands*
Fuck! I shall never 'write' (winks) w/ one again.. hmm.. where do you get those Huge Kindergarten Pencils.. "the Fatty's" mmmmmmm
-------------
Ooooo yeah! Crayons might be good too. If it's warm enough down there, the wax might melt and be lube!
OMG, Clarisse. do moths fly out of your mouth too, sometimes when you pretend to be Billie?
-----------------------------------
Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
LCT!
That's bad! I live alone, so i make really obnoxious noises, just because. Then i come in here and forget i'm around people and i'll bust out "If I were da king of the foressssssssssssssssssssssst!!!!!!!"
Or I'll yawn like Billie the zombie in Hocus Pocus!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are through with lies and liars in this house. Lock the door.
@LCT Wet Pencils!!??? *says loud* *washes hands*
Fuck! I shall never 'write' (winks) w/ one again.. hmm.. where do you get those Huge Kindergarten Pencils.. "the Fatty's" mmmmmmm
-----------------------------------
Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
perhaps she works for Chick-fil-A?
Submitted by speakit on September 30, 2008 - 2:40pm.
She's just being a whiny bitch. SMACK HER
---------------
From the sounds of it, she might enjoy it just a leeeeetle too much.
Submitted by oklahoma on September 30, 2008 - 2:38pm.
LCT!! What a lucky bitch! i'm calling her boss to get her fired, then I must see if I can get hired on for that 'position' And I must make sure I have that same chair, too.. Vibrating chair maybe??
------------
No.. probably more like wet pencils. She's a weirdo.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 30, 2008 - 2:35pm.
________________________________________
She's just being a whiny bitch. SMACK HER
LCT!
Absolutely! As SOON as i'm done! bow-chicka-bow-bow----
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are through with lies and liars in this house. Lock the door.
LCT!! What a lucky bitch! i'm calling her boss to get her fired, then I must see if I can get hired on for that 'position' And I must make sure I have that same chair, too.. Vibrating chair maybe??
-----------------------------------
Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Submitted by Clarisse on September 30, 2008 - 2:35pm.
LCT!
You heard that???
*shuts office door*
--------------------
I KNEW IT!
If it's GB, I'm next.
Was she saying "Eat Mor Chikn"?
That's a southern thing - for Chik-Fil-A restaurants.
haha Clarisse! I think you need to put a muffin door stop in front of your office door too.. To keep co-workers from barging in.. Or maybe I just need to buy myself a muffin door stop, or maybe just a muffin, mmmmmmuffin..
-----------------------------------
Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Too bad Wesley Willis isn't still around. These two would win 'Fun Couple of The Year' award.
Submitted by oklahoma on September 30, 2008 - 2:33pm.
LCT.. Tell me more!! *pulls up chair close to screen* That does creep me out, Like they are really over weight, and breath heavy.. But like heavy as in they are eating a GD beef slab, but in all reality there is no food in their mouth at all?? That type of breathing, moaning???
---------------
Well she's in there sighing at her workload (sounds like whoever would be eating her out switched it up by adding a finger), and when she sits down she moans a sigh of relief in a way (getting closer to coming). You know, THOSE types of sounds.
LCT!
You heard that???
*shuts office door*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are through with lies and liars in this house. Lock the door.
LCT.. Tell me more!! *pulls up chair close to screen* That does creep me out, Like they are really over weight, and breath heavy.. But like heavy as in they are eating a GD beef slab, but in all reality there is no food in their mouth at all?? That type of breathing, moaning???
-----------------------------------
Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 30, 2008 - 2:27pm.
Does anyone else here get overwhelmingly disgusted when a woman will sigh and moan as she's moving around, sort of like old women do, only they're not old so it just sounds like someone's eating them out in their office?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
mmf.......ugh.......urgle.......huh?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.” - Paul Newman
Does anyone else here get overwhelmingly disgusted when a woman will sigh and moan as she's moving around, sort of like old women do, only they're not old so it just sounds like someone's eating them out in their office?
KD, well I did get a double cheeseburger from the $ menu, which is odd for me.. And I hate cheese.. Anyways, while eating it, a huge GD slab of grease fell of the piece of cheese and onto my jeans.. Oh, it looks really fucking gross now.. But I still ate th rest of it.. mmm, I just love those lil onions and pickles..
-----------------------------------
Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Okie- the dollar menu is fine with me! Those meals are freaking overpriced anyway! We have the 2 lanes at some places, too, but I guess people aren't as wild here.
Anyways. I don't even see anyone in this picture..
I'm scared, cause I think that cow costume is holding up its self.. that's some friday the 13th shit right there..
-----------------------------------
Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Snow, for some reason, they put a 2nd drive thru lane in..for people to order at... and it causes fights. Like for reals!! Cause People won't go into the first lane like god intended, and will try to cheat and go to #2 (ha) and then try to fucking cut you off when you get to the window.. Oh no no no!! Don't do that to me!!
-----
KD.. I am soo broke today.. I had to use their $1 menu.. But when I got back to work, and was getting 'primping' stuff out of my purse, I found more money.. I was totally fucking pissed!!
Okie- you eat at McDonalds? Their burgers give me the shi...oh, sorry, you just ate, didn't you? Anyway, I hope you had Chicken!
If this woman wasn't wearing the costume, ida thought she was a pig. Check out that snout!
okie: what does the second lane in Mickey Dee's mean? Is that the express lane? Or for wide loads only?
****************************1/20/09
"We have your 401K. If you want to see it again give us $7 billion in unmarked bills"
snowy, I was pissed cause that bitch was in that 2nd lane at mcdonalds like a GD Cow would be. Bitch! Of course she didn't see me, i wanted to flip her off! she prob wouldn't have looked either, she's a pussy. Cow goes lick!!
-----------------------------------
Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
LOL okie your texts sound like mine, HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
****************************1/20/09
"We have your 401K. If you want to see it again give us $7 billion in unmarked bills"
Ok this kind of freaks me out, B/c literally I texted my friend on my lunch break right at about 50 minutes ago and I was talking shit about some bitch I don't like how she was in the line at Mcdonalds. and I was like "Hungry cow goes Mooo" Like whoa! Joey Lawrence Whhhooah..
----------------------------------
Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
HAHAH
if you're gonna get arrested, you might as well do it in a memorable manner.
-----------------------------------------------
"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Seriously. Let this sexy beast roam free! Check out www.pukingdog.com for more stories like this!
A month in jail for what? Stopping traffic? That's a crime? It can't be disorderly conduct because I hear of cows in the road all the time, and they don't get put in jail.
Submitted by snowpiece on September 30, 2008 - 1:43pm.
Dude I would totaly let MK sit on my face!
Thats what an under study is right?
Thats what my dram teacher told us it was in high school.
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by LoLo on September 30, 2008 - 1:39pm.
Yeah her body is saying " Mad Cow"
but her eyes are saying " Mad Dog 20/20. Tropical Flavor"
Lo, you need to be MK's understudy or assitant or something....you make me laugh just as hard!
****************************1/20/09
"We have your 401K. If you want to see it again give us $7 billion in unmarked bills"
Submitted by LoLo on September 30, 2008 - 1:36pm.
Snow and Carrot!
Look they is called "plushies" or "Furries"
here is the begining shot of some plushie pron!
http://lukewelling.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/furries.jpg
-----------------
Why did you post that, you mean mean lady? I do NOT want to see 80s hairdo'd women in fuzzy cat costumes. Too much pussy in one place. TOO MUCH.
Yeah her body is saying " Mad Cow"
but her eyes are saying " Mad Dog 20/20. Tropical Flavor"
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Bitch looks positively drunk in that mugshot. I also love how she doesn't show one fucking ounce of regret.
I'd pay top dollar to watch the video of this fuckery, though.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
" That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable."
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on September 30, 2008 - 1:36pm.
ohhhhhhh you are so in my brainz today you hot little vixen!
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
LOL
----------------------------------------------
"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
LoLo, I think those kinky animal people are called furries:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=furry
Snow and Carrot!
Look they is called "plushies" or "Furries"
here is the begining shot of some plushie pron!
http://lukewelling.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/furries.jpg
You can thank me later! By dressing up as a care bare with a picture of lube on your belly instead of sun shine!
_____________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Sort of sad that if she could even have afforded a mediocre attorney, she wouldn't be spending one day in jail and could tell all her girlfriends "guess what everybody, I'm "bi-polar" !!
are we sure this wasn't PETA trying to make a point to Ben & Jerry's?
-----------------------------
"You're all the things I've got to remember.
You're shying away.
I'll be coming for you anyway."
Submitted by LoLo on September 30, 2008 - 1:28pm.
Happy Chewsdee moooooooooooooooo
-------------------------
Hi Lolomoooooooooooooooo! How are moooooooooooooo doing moooooooday?
Submitted by speakit on September 30, 2008 - 1:27pm.
LOL! mom?
-------------
No, dear, Mom's at the DMV getting her eyes checked. She ran into school children.
THAT THING'S A FEMALE???????????????????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.” - Paul Newman
Submitted by niki on September 30, 2008 - 1:13pm.
She looks like home made sin.
--------------------
HAHA!