It's Not Even Halloween Yet!
Michele Allen of Middletown, Ohio was arrested for acting the fool around a bunch of children while dressed in a Kirstie Alley costume.
The police were called after Michele put on a cow costume, pissed on a neighbor's porch and chased a bunch of children around the neighborhood. How udderly rude! The officers warned Michele and told her to keep her udders to herself. They sent Michele back to her pen and thought that was the end of the mad cow, but it wasn't.
A couple of hours later, the cops had to come back, because Michele was blocking traffic. Officers smelled booze on her breath and said she was slurring her words.
Yesterday in court, the drunk cow pleaded guilty and a judge sentenced her to a month in the clink.
A month?! Damn. I thought this was a free country! Since when are you not allowed to put on a dollar store cow costume and run wild in the streets? I better think twice before putting on my Porky Pig costume and flashing my curly tail to frat boys in bars. That was my favorite Sunday afternoon activity. And yes, I know my tail shouldn't curl on its own. I'll have a medical professional look at it.
Thanks Andrew
This is almost as funny as the 1980's Life Alert commercial! All the best, Harry
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!1
That's a woman...?
I don't think that's a costume.
okay, so now I am kinda concerned that PETA is trying to trick us with this cow milk/human milk ice cream thing...
and umm yeah so I thought this was a man, okay?
like she's wearing a costume...and she's fug as all hell, right?... but this bitch ain't wearing a mask?!?
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Oh you mad cuz I'm stylin on you!
I am so proud to live only 20 minutes south of Middletown. Oh dear :(
This was huge on the news on this morning and I even thought 'this would be a perfect Dlisted story'
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www.myspace.com/azbycxd7700
Michele Allen of Middletown, Ohio was arrested for acting the fool around a bunch of children while dressed in a Kirstie Alley costume.
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AHhahahahahahaha!
PS. I do believe Michele is a man's name. Edited to add: No it ain't. My bad.
♥ ThreadKilla! / New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola/ She's a Lady/ MK luvs his cholas but Mawy started the chola makeo
Submitted by I need more cowbell on September 30, 2008 - 5:37pm.
Damn! If her eyes were any further apart, that bitch would be looking behind herself! Didn't anyone ever tell her she had f.a.s. and that she shouldn't ever drink?
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Someone should have told this monstrosit-- err, Michele Allen's mother not to drink. "Sugah, if you keep downin' those whiskies like that, you babah gunna be ugggggggggggly as god KNOWS what." lol. Then when Michele was born her mother was probably like "OH GOD what the FYUCKKK my baby's eyes are on either side of her head and she got a nose like a pig snout! GOD SAVE MEHHH!!!!"
Look at this fuckery! That woman is so hideous that if being ugly were a crime the po po would charge this bitch with a FELONY!! lol
Damn! If her eyes were any further apart, that bitch would be looking behind herself! Didn't anyone ever tell her she had f.a.s. and that she shouldn't ever drink?
Submitted by yucko on September 30, 2008 - 5:10pm.
I think that might freak me out a little, too, admittedly. It's gross enough just seeing a dog's.
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It's gross enough seeing man peen. Swear, if I saw one lying on the pavement, I'd quickly stamp on it.
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 30, 2008 - 3:54pm.
Hahhhaaaahhaa... Is that you Denise Richards??
You obviously didn't see that episode of Denise Richards, I'm constipated. She saw her pet pig's curly french fry for the first time and ran from the garden...LOL
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Hah, no! I haven't (and I hate Denise Richards).
I think that might freak me out a little, too, admittedly. It's gross enough just seeing a dog's.
While on the topic of nasty animal appendages, did you also know that apparently male bats do it to the ladies from behind? Not exactly "doggy style," more like it curls up and around... I was just unfortunate enough to see it on Discovery Channel or something a long time ago.
Seriously, why isn't THIS the "CAPTION THIS" Photo? The one for today is mad lifeless.
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 30, 2008 - 4:28pm.
OKAY, YA'LL JUST WHO'S PICKING ON MY MAIN BITCH HERE, I'LL MAKE THE WITCH EYES AND GET OUT THE TENNIS CANS AND THE COUNTY WILL HEAR ABOUT IT SO BACK OF AND STOP YA'LL.
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OK WOW
Poo
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 30, 2008 - 4:26pm.
OKAY, YA'LL JUST WHO'S PICKING ON MY MAIN BITCH HERE, I'LL MAKE THE WITCH EYES AND GET OUT THE TENNIS CANS AND THE COUNTY WILL HEAR ABOUT IT SO BACK OF AND STOP YA'LL.
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
GDI IT SPEAKIT. I am so tired of coming on here and seeing ONE POST from you. Get a life. *scoff* GEEZ.
Submitted by oklahoma on September 30, 2008 - 4:17pm.
*giggles* I only counted like 28 posts.. LCT. *shrugs* He must be reading your Diary or something, or counting your poo as posts, if so, that's really fucking Originally Creepy!!
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He's too busy whacking off to everything in here one post looks like 65 he's wiggling around so much.
I'M FUKKIN TIRED OF EVERYONE'S POSTS. THE ONLY PERSON ALLOWED TO POST SHOULD BE MEEEEEEEEEE.
Clarisse
Too
Me
What's wrong with putting a cow costume on and chasing the neighborhood kids down the street?
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RIMADYL KILLS
*shudders at the site of udders*
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Udders.
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We are through with lies and liars in this house. Lock the door.
On topic:
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We are through with lies and liars in this house. Lock the door.
*giggles* I only counted like 28 posts.. LCT. *shrugs* He must be reading your Diary or something, or counting your poo as posts, if so, that's really fucking Originally Creepy!!
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
biatches.
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We are through with lies and liars in this house. Lock the door.
Hates cranky
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We are through with lies and liars in this house. Lock the door.
I
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We are through with lies and liars in this house. Lock the door.
Carrottop/Lolo
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We are through with lies and liars in this house. Lock the door.
original putas
""Love Carrot Top" needs to get a job, or a life. I'm sick of seeing her on here everytime I come on, making 100 comments on the same post. Same goes for "LOLO"."
Wow. When you have a valid bitch, bitch away. If this is all you got, uh, shat up or go away.
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We are through with lies and liars in this house. Lock the door.
that
about
Sorry
Oh shit! I haven't hit my 100 comments per post quota on this one!
Submitted by original putas on September 30, 2008 - 3:46pm.
"Love Carrot Top" needs to get a job, or a life. I'm sick of seeing her on here everytime I come on, making 100 comments on the same post. Same goes for "LOLO".
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You need to stop pretending you don't look like the 627lb lardass you are.
that shit is a woman!?
haha Those Udders in th picture now!!!!
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Submitted by yucko on September 30, 2008 - 3:39pm.
I don't really want to bother to see if anyone has already mentioned this, but...
Did you know that pigs actually have curly penises? How gross is that?
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Hahhhaaaahhaa... Is that you Denise Richards??
You obviously didn't see that episode of Denise Richards, I'm constipated. She saw her pet pig's curly french fry for the first time and ran from the garden...LOL
HA HA HA!
Dumb fucker!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by original putas on September 30, 2008 - 3:46pm.
"Love Carrot Top" needs to get a job, or a life. I'm sick of seeing her on here everytime I come on, making 100 comments on the same post. Same goes for "LOLO".
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JELUS H8TER!!!!!!!!
Don't h8 coz you read slow.
Submitted by original putas on September 30, 2008 - 3:46pm.
"Love Carrot Top" needs to get a job, or a life. I'm sick of seeing her on here everytime I come on, making 100 comments on the same post. Same goes for "LOLO".
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Yeah, MK, tooo!! Get a job or a life MK.. Jeees!!
We sure told them, we sure did.. Ding dang if we didn't!!! *spits baccky in can across room* Whooooweee, I'm typing here on this here contraption made of wood, and I carved these here letters and numbers from a toothpick.. wooooweeee *spits* I'm goin go look for a, what did you call it, a job, Yeah, job down at the trading fair on Sunday.. They's sure to hire me.. Ding dang, You put me on the right track..
_Submitted by original putas on September 30, 2008 - 3:46pm.
Eat me you fucking ignorant cunt:)
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
"Love Carrot Top" needs to get a job, or a life. I'm sick of seeing her on here everytime I come on, making 100 comments on the same post. Same goes for "LOLO".
now i can die happy.
I don't really want to bother to see if anyone has already mentioned this, but...
Did you know that pigs actually have curly penises? How gross is that?
That's a woman?!
"Michele Allen of Middletown, Ohio was arrested for acting the fool around a bunch of children while dressed in a Kirstie Alley costume."
OMG that's some funny shit there, MK!
Submitted by Clarisse on September 30, 2008 - 2:58pm.
LCT!
I do sing Wizard of Oz tunes in public!!! I also randomly quote "Robin Hood Men in Tights" and tell people the British slang for something they just said!
Lion King made me cry. When Simba stepped into his dad's paw print...weepy times.
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Or when Simba lays down in the pile of leaves and dust and it spells out 'sex' in the sky? Serious weepy times.
is this a chick or a dude? and did this cow's udders touch anything...
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if you don't want to be used, then don't be a tool...
LCT!
I do sing Wizard of Oz tunes in public!!! I also randomly quote "Robin Hood Men in Tights" and tell people the British slang for something they just said!
Lion King made me cry. When Simba stepped into his dad's paw print...weepy times.
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We are through with lies and liars in this house. Lock the door.