Suri Needs A New Doll
I get that kids get attached to certain toys, dolls and other shit. When I was a kid, I had this Cabbage Patch doll who would never leave my side. Over the years, the doll became dirtier and dirtier. His yarn hair fell out and he probably had snot and drool on every inch of his plastic body. If you put my doll under a microscope, you could probably witness a germ orgy. My mom would always try and get rid of it, but I'd scream and cry if it never left my side. Okay, I wasn't a kid. I was 20. And yes, it still sleeps with me.
Back to Suri. There may be a reason why she's so in love with that busted doll. Star Magazine reports that Suri doesn't have any little friends, because Tommy Girl and Katie keep her away from other children. A source said that Katie takes Suri to play at a gym...by herself! The source said: "Suri takes a private class in a room in the back of the gym. I have never seen her play with any of the other kids." The source also said that when Suri is around other kids, she doesn't know how to play and she doesn't like share. What kid does?
Okay, that's fine and everything, but can't they get her a prettier doll? That doll needs a Glamour Shots makeover. And while the doll is at it, it should drag Stepford Katie with it. Homebot is starting to look like Shelley Duvall towards the end of "The Shining."
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Scary doll but beautiful girl. Do you think she suffers from PTSD from all the paps? She's going to need a lot of auditing for that.
http://www.modegreen.com/
Submitted by Tigerlilly on September 25, 2008 - 8:10pm.
'cuz blood of Cheesus is wine and shit...right?
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Nope. chili con queso.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 25, 2008 - 7:13pm.
HOT WINGS
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Submitted by Manimal5 on September 25, 2008 - 8:00pm.
No, but I've heard sounds coming out of a woman's bathroom that sounded like a pressure washer.
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Bad tacos.
Are they still claiming this child is two?
Well, that doll looks well loved , which is more than we can say about katie bot and tommy girl.
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Somebody rescue that honey chile and bring her to Cheesus! Can I get a Parmesan crusted "Amen" from our DListed congregation? I say, can I get a little bit of a Gargonzola in yo' Hallelujah, my people? Cheesus, save this chile of da cheese!
Now may we all partake in some baked Brie as our lord, Cheesus, commands...Amen...Oh, and there's wine too...'cuz blood of Cheesus is wine and shit...right? Hallelujah and Amen!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
@minnow
I guess when I was a little girl, I poked the eyes out of the open/close eye dolls because they freaked me out so much, but when I think about it, a doll without eyes would be even creepier *shrugs*
Submitted by minnow on September 25, 2008 - 5:57pm.
I would doubt that the giraffe is a tea-party participant. My giraffe usually is the chauffeur, only transporting my guests to and from the party... on occasion he does coat detail, when our elephant calls in sick.
His long neck allows for many party guests to arrive in one sweep. The elephant's trunk is a useful coat-holder... why on earth do I know so much about these things?
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That post was adorable.
My little four-year-old niece prefers interspecies dating play to tea parties. Her koalas and monkeys are always kissing and marrying her Barbies. I'm glad that she's already able to look past physical differences. =)
Suri's doll would give me nightmares if I saw that thing lying around my house.
"Mickey probably told Miley, 'Billy Ray ain't your father. I AM! I'm your daddy! I say when this game is over! Now go shake that ass and bring home the cheese!'" -MK, 22-09-08
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 25, 2008 - 8:02pm.
Have you ever heard someone fart from insidethe oak-doored bathroom down the hall at work?
No, but I've heard sounds coming out of a woman's bathroom that sounded like a pressure washer.
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I would doubt that the giraffe is a tea-party participant. My giraffe usually is the chauffeur, only transporting my guests to and from the party... on occasion he does coat detail, when our elephant calls in sick.
His long neck allows for many party guests to arrive in one sweep. The elephant's trunk is a useful coat-holder... why on earth do I know so much about these things?
Submitted by minnow on September 25, 2008 - 8:13pm.
So cute! I like that someone pays attention to Suri's toys as if she were just another little girl. There's a giraffe, too...I wonder if they have tea parties.
But why is Suri wearing the classic little girl velvet Christmas dress? Is this a current picture?
I use to have barbie dolls, nothing creepy like that doll. And i used to have them have sex, mind you I was 4, and they would lesbian scissor each other... god, those were the days..*cough*
If I'm not mistaken, that's the fisher price little mommy doll- and I know this because my daughter was attached at the hip to hers. At least Suri lets her doll wear clothes... my kid insisted on the doll being naked.
I also think I've seen Suri toting one of those American Girl brand baby dolls, but I haven't seen her with it lately. I bought one of those for my daughter, but she still preferred her little mommy doll- cause the open/shut eyes on the American Girl baby creeped her out.
Katie is trying to muster a sneer, nope doesn't happen.
and Xenu dolls do not have hair.preview of future Xenu children.
~~Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders/Making the Team 3-
October 4~~~
Katies looks like she is about to cry. She sold her soul to the devil, no amount of designer duds or broadway shows will ever be worth the price she is paying.
Have you ever heard someone fart from insidethe oak-doored bathroom down the hall at work?
@Sandbitch. Yeay!! Have you done something with your eye colour. It brings out the ginge beautifully.
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I POOP RAINBOWS
Submitted by pompom on September 25, 2008 - 4:24pm.
Well, they may find home schooling not to their liking, or maybe the kid will want to go to school.
Sigh.
Anyhoo, I am not allowed to say anything because I do not have kids.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 25, 2008 - 7:22pm.
Glandy, thanks for asking. Please bring it back. I don't know why but it makes me giggle uncontrollably.
How's you?
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I POOP RAINBOWS
I think that is so cruel to isolate a child. She is too cute to be a weirdo, but doesn't look like she has a choice. Poor girl. And Katie makes me uncomfortable. I mean, can't she put a little more heart into her role and at least act like she is kind of happy? She signed up for this shit, and I am sick of seeing her look so glum and dumpy. You chose this life, bitch.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 25, 2008 - 4:08pm.
Oh dear, Mrs. K - this does not bode well... I'm going to hope they change their minds!
@2cents: I think I was scaring people with my real self...
How are your glands today?
Submitted by snippy on September 25, 2008 - 7:20pm.
A sock monkey finger? That seems unusual. All my sock monkeys have stumpy little paws. It takes them forever to type anything.
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LOL! I'm a special sock monkey!
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 25, 2008 - 7:12pm.
Hey sandbitch, speaking of hair, why you hide your face?
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I POOP RAINBOWS
A sock monkey finger? That seems unusual. All my sock monkeys have stumpy little paws. It takes them forever to type anything.
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Submitted by Sock-Monkey on September 25, 2008 - 3:04pm.
*thinking pose* *one hand on hip & little sock monkey finger on chin*
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on September 25, 2008 - 7:16pm.
woo-hoo! road trip!!
OT: it's good to see such joy on Katie's face.. pfft!
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"Jerry was a race car driver,
and he drove so goddamned fast.
He never did win no checkered flag,
but he never did come in last."
Submitted by ESE on September 25, 2008 - 7:06pm.
you drive a hard bargin, Monk!!... i think it can be arranged... now i just gotta find JH to clear the usage of the Vespa
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Uh....*opening little sock monkey hand* I uh..*glancing left and right* *whispering* lifted his keys when Maddox locked him in the closet.
*evil laugh* Let's go.
ON T: Katie looks old.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Two blankies today - one for da brat, one for da dolly. Why does Katie's hair always look like just got out of the shower? I guess it's sweat from overdressing and being under the heavy blankets.
@Mk...but can't they get her a prettier doll?
Ahh, the heart wants what it wants. I wonder if Katebot will carry the pony too when Suri gets one...and she WILL GET ONE!
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I POOP RAINBOWS
Submitted by pompom on September 25, 2008 - 4:03pm.
Yeah, I figured as much!
My sister did that to her kid
And yes, he's a freak.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
Hello Socky, my wittle monkey love.
Don't let ESE get to you, he teases because he loves.
Trust.
*glaring at ESE*
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on September 25, 2008 - 7:04pm.
you drive a hard bargin, Monk!!... i think it can be arranged... now i just gotta find JH to clear the usage of the Vespa
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"Jerry was a race car driver,
and he drove so goddamned fast.
He never did win no checkered flag,
but he never did come in last."
Submitted by ESE on September 25, 2008 - 6:59pm.
so you don't wanna go on a tour of the Downy fabric softener plant with me?
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*thinking pose* *one hand on hip & little sock monkey finger on chin* mmmmmmmmm....Do I get a box at the end of the tour? My choice in scent? And I get a ride on James Haven's pink Vespa?
ON T: Katie looks haggard.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Katie looks absolutely miserable. Compare these pics to the ones when she and Tommy Girl first got together and he was dipping her in that turquoise dress. night and day!
Biggest Brat that ever was, you can tell by the look on her face , never heard the word "no" in her life like her closet case daddy.
I can see Suri in Vegas in about 20yrs from now , knocking off liquor stores a la Dana Plato..
"It costs alotta money to look this cheap"-Dolly Parton
I agree with everything everybody is saying!!! But nobody can convince the parents, whose minds are made up. I think the problem is that they believe their kid is some sort of rare genius whose intelligence will be compromised by play and whose intellect will be shortchanged by the school system.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 25, 2008 - 6:51pm.
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*bashfully handing you a bouquet of little daisies* Hello, Mrs. Kravitz. *sock monkey hug and smooches* *glaring at ESE*
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on September 25, 2008 - 6:57pm.
so you don't wanna go on a tour of the Downy fabric softener plant with me?
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"Jerry was a race car driver,
and he drove so goddamned fast.
He never did win no checkered flag,
but he never did come in last."
Submitted by pompom on September 25, 2008 - 3:56pm.
Mmmmmmmmmmm, I suspected as much...
Well, God bless them and good luck to them.
I've got my own hell to raise.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
pompom, kids NEED social interaction, especially with others their age. It's how they learn to communicate, socialize, share, play, build self esteem.
OMG!
I hate it when I hear of people sheltering their kids.
Submitted by ESE on September 25, 2008 - 6:44pm.
come on.. liquor missing... who do you think she's gonna point the derringer at first?! i had to talk, i tell ya! i'm not takin' a bullet for you or any Monkey!!
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*little sock monkey hands on hips* You gave me up? Just like that? Fine! *stomping off* *yelling* If you're out of stuff to make your White Russians..Vodka, Kahlua..milk...don't call me!! I still got the keys!
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 25, 2008 - 3:54pm.
uhh... It gets worse. I think they are planning to home school....
U know what they say beautiful child... ugly adult.
http://www.aamyko.com
Submitted by pompom on September 25, 2008 - 3:52pm.
kindergarten will be interesting for that kid...
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
I have relatives with a 2.5 year old. He isn't allowed to associate with other children. The parents feel that interaction makes children aggressive and violent. I don't have any kids so I don't know, but it seems sort of crazy to me.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on September 25, 2008 - 3:46pm.
you may be my only hope... save me from an angry Monkey!!
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Speak softly...and carry a big stick!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
Evil Shoe....no binky here. Thankfully. But my youngest does suck his finger. And he is absolutely unable to stick the finger in his mouth without shoving his hand down his pants ala Al Bundy.
But now that they are older, they DO often have to lug around (and keep in the car) their newest "toy".
Currently the Iron Man figurine is being tortured.
I seriously doubt that kid is attached to anything.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 25, 2008 - 6:45pm.
hi, Mrs. K!!
you may be my only hope... save me from an angry Monkey!!
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"Jerry was a race car driver,
and he drove so goddamned fast.
He never did win no checkered flag,
but he never did come in last."