Don't Lie To Letterman
John McCain was supposed to sit with David Letterman last night, but he called in at the last minute to cancel because he had to fly to the capital to deal with our broke down economy. A little while into the show after Letterman and Keith Olbermann talked about McCain suspending his campaign and other shit, Letterman was told that McCain was not on a plane bound for DC, but in a studio down the street with Katie Couric. Letterman cut to a live feed of McCain talking with Katie and said, "Do you need a ride to the airport?!"
Oh shit. This reminds me of the time that I called in sick to the night shift at my old job. I told them I was practically dying and couldn't get out of bed. Well, a couple of hours later I ran into one of my bosses at the gay bar. HA! I was stuttering so fucking much, I sounded like I had Tourettes. I kind of just shrugged, said I felt better and told him I thought a Hot Toddy would cure my illness. I was drinking vodka. That's when I excused myself from the bar and never went back to that job again.
• 
David Letterman is an American Hero.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on September 26, 2008 - 11:42am.
BURN THAT BITCH DOWN!
ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!
FUCK THE UN TOO!
Im hating the gub ment today!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Fuck LoLo, why don't you tell us how you really feel?!
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pathetic is chatting with bitch of crazy mouth
Funny Bitch LoLo as FLA
BURN WASHINGTON DOWN!
BURN THAT BITCH DOWN!!!!!!!
REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION!
FUCK THOSE TARDS IN CONGRESS IN THE ASS AND BURN THE WHOLE BITCH DOWN!!!!!!!!!
HA HA HA HA HA FUCK EM ALL!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I find it hysterical when Republicans label Democrats as "tax and spend liberals" when these so-called "fiscal conservatives" spent the first six years of the Bush administration spending our money like drunken sailors in a whore house.
A Republican President and a (at the time) Republican controlled congress led us into the Iraqi money pit and have spent and spent and spent. Thanks fiscal conservatives, you have pushed the budget deficit up to such a ridiculous level you have COMPLETELY destroyed the value of the dollar. And your mad rush to deregulate EVERYTHING in the financial sector has led us to the greatest financial crisis we have seen in at least 60 years.
Which reminds me...Which John McCain should I believe? The one who last week told me the fundamentals of the economy are strong..orrrrrrrrr the one that is telling me this week he has to suspend is campaign because the economy is in crisis?
you really believe that someone who went to Columbia and Harvard, had a successful career as an attorney and a teacher, and has been involved in politics for over a decade now, and came up from poverty to write successful Grammy Award winning books, isn't qualified to be a manager at McDonald's?!?.....
and people actually wonder why others call them racist or ignorant....
He would be OVER qualified to work at McD's, duh. You don't have to like him or vote for him, but to devalue him so nastily just shows YOUR true colors....
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Submitted by texannewlywed on September 26, 2008 - 12:07am.
Hey! Glad another conservative besides my dad sees the light and is not voting for McCain! His dementia is definitely getting worse. He's going to be dressed up in a leopard pimp suit like Ed McMahon in a few months.
Goodnight, all!
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Poor Ed. I remember watching him on Star Search and Carson. Bless his sweet heart. McCain needs to fade away like Bob Dole and keep it pushing.
Have a goodnight :-).
Submitted by shandi on September 25, 2008 - 11:04pm.
Submitted by texannewlywed on September 25, 2008 - 10:45pm.
Trig is Bristol's and now on her second child without marriage.
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Get your facts straight. Trig is FOUR months old and Bristol is FIVE months pregnant. So she's on her first child without marriage. As for her being a dipshit VP as someone else said, I would have to say that Biden is just as much as a dipshit, too. I don't like either of the VP candidates, and I really don't like either of the Presidential candidates, either. It is coming down to the lesser of two evils, and I hate that. Wouldn't it be nice to have two extremely qualified, honest people, where you actually wanted to vote for BOTH but couldn't?
I keep thinking how nice it would be if another Abe Lincoln would show up. Perhaps the most honest, hard-working, LOGICAL President we ever had or ever will have.
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Um I have my FACTS STRAIGHT. I'm not some dumb lemming taking the word of an ethically challenged Governor.
Let me break it down:
1. Sarah was big as a house with her 1st pregnancy, but small on her "5th"?
2. Bristol was pregnant, transferred schools, and had mono for FIVE FUCKING MONTHS? Any catholic knows that excuse is old as dirt when girls get knocked up.
3. While Bristol had "mono", she was in THREE TRAFFIC ACCIDENTS (check the government official website because her citations are there) while being supposedly out of school with mono.
6. Sarah FLEW 8+ fucking hours from TEXAS to ALASKA when her water "supposedly" broke. NO FUCKING DOCTOR WORTH THEIR LICENSE WOULD EVER SIGN OFF ON THAT SHIT.
7. Then this crazy bitch drove by TWO hospitals to have her baby in a town 30 fucking minutes away from the airport. The hospital nursery website doesn't have Trig listed on the nursery website.
8. Sarah scrubbed pics on her gov't website from Jan and March 2008 when the press starting checking out her bullshit story about Trig.
9. Bristol is more like 4 months pregnant. I predict the baby will come "early". BTW, it's easy to get pregnant after the 1st baby (6 weeks to be exact).
10. People in Alaska didn't even know Sarah was pregnant until she made the announcement in March. Then she start wearing a fake belly, then poof returned to work after 3 days with a special needs child. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? Do you know how many doctors appt's she would need to go to the first few months.
11. Biden has more credibility and fucking common sense in his hair plugs than Palin has in ponytail. I trust Biden over Palin any day of the week.
12. The McCain campaign is scrambling and working the refs in rescheduling the veep debate because SHE'S. A. MORON. McCain didn't vet Palin and IT'S SHOWING. She couldn't name 1 damm thing McCain has done in his 26 year career. WTF?
And I'm not voting for the second on the ticket like the McCain/Palin lemmings are, I am voting for who's on top of the ticket who is making the damm fucking DECISIONS.
You see, fucking lemmings think Palin has experience yet she racked up 22 million in debt for the town of Wasilla, she took earmarks, she's under ethics investigation, and she apparently she has faked her pregnancy. Sounds like a Republican to me.
People can dress up her bullshit all they like, but guess what, it's still bullshit. No it's not coming down to the lesser of two evils. No one was saying that shit when Bush's dumb ass got elected. No, this comes down to who has America's best interest at heart and with a record to show and the one who's out of touch with real AMERICAN FUCKING PROBLEMS. We've had 2 fucking years to find out who Obama is, not 1 month, so let's not act like we still don't know who Obama is. It's insulting. McCain has voted 90% with Bush, whom along with the Republicans fucked up our economy and they fucked up foreign relations.
The choice is clear. I'm going with the smart guy who wants to restore the American Dream, not shit on it. Obama all the way.
Submitted by texannewlywed on September 26, 2008 - 12:07am.
Hey! Glad another conservative besides my dad sees the light and is not voting for McCain! His dementia is definitely getting worse. He's going to be dressed up in a leopard pimp suit like Ed McMahon in a few months.
Goodnight, all!
Submitted by shandi on September 26, 2008 - 12:04am.
Umm... my half-brother is 10 months younger than my half-sister. Not saying Trig is Bristol's (or that he isn't) just that it's not impossible. None of us really know for sure, just like none of us know if she's 3, 5, 7 months pregnant. Could be that she'll have one of those 11-month Katie Holmes pregnancies.
Just sayin'.
Submitted by aquarius on September 25, 2008 - 10:43pm.
Submitted by texannewlywed on September 25, 2008 - 11:33pm.
Amen! Even my highly conservative father hates McCain, he swears up and down that the man has early Alzheimer's
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Hi aquarius (my birth sign) :-). I believe McCain does have some form of dementia because he's looking very unstable and making erratic, irrational decisions. This is not PRESIDENTIAL.
My hubby voted for Bush 2x's (he hates to admit it) and is conservative as well. He's not voting for McCain and I told him to kiss small gov't goodbye forever because it's going to take a lifetime to undue the fuckery that is the Bush Administration.
Submitted by texannewlywed on September 25, 2008 - 10:45pm.
Trig is Bristol's and now on her second child without marriage.
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Get your facts straight. Trig is FOUR months old and Bristol is FIVE months pregnant. So she's on her first child without marriage. As for her being a dipshit VP as someone else said, I would have to say that Biden is just as much as a dipshit, too. I don't like either of the VP candidates, and I really don't like either of the Presidential candidates, either. It is coming down to the lesser of two evils, and I hate that. Wouldn't it be nice to have two extremely qualified, honest people, where you actually wanted to vote for BOTH but couldn't?
I keep thinking how nice it would be if another Abe Lincoln would show up. Perhaps the most honest, hard-working, LOGICAL President we ever had or ever will have.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by texannewlywed on September 25, 2008 - 11:33pm.
Amen! Even my highly conservative father hates McCain, he swears up and down that the man has early Alzheimer's.
This is one of those angry, mud throwing threads, isn't it? ***ducking back out the door***
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Letterman just let McCain have it...
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
Ok, so it's alright to lie to some people (i.e- talk show hosts), but not to others. Nice. (Not sure how his having a gap tooth is relevant...) It's "only" David Letterman? How about he's a fellow human being who deserves a modicum of respect. Not to mention that when he lied to him, he lied to the public b/c he knew Dave would pass that info. along to the audience?
McCain should not have scheduled the interview in the first place if he didn't intend to follow through. And if he got a "better" offer, he should have been a man about it & been HONEST, not lied and tried to make himself look good by saying he was going to go fix the economy!
I can't believe people would still vote for someone who was caught out like this. Nevermind why in the fuck anyone would vote for someone with such a dipshit as a VP. It seriously boggles my mind. We shouldn't EXPECT politicians to lie; let's set the bar a little higher, eh?
p.s. - Gry is awesome.
Submitted by Bo on September 25, 2008 - 8:53am.
Go Dave! McCain isn't fit to be president nor is his Barbie Doll pick for VeePee. McCain is just a chicken shit waste of time.
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I am not happy about the way McCain is acting, either, but I have to say, that Obama is just as UNqualified to be President. He served a whole 143 days as a senator then said, "well, I think I'm ready to run for President of the greatest country in the free world." Please. I don't think he's ready to be a manager at McDonald's. You know who SHOULD be President? David Letterman!
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
The rest of the world is really really stumped at how Bush got in twice.
...how is anyone stumped? the election was rigged. obviously rigged...duh!
and oh yeah almost half of Americans are racists, sexists, and fearful idiots.
as for this economic crisis that no one saw coming and yet seems as obvious as Clay Aiken's homosexuality that it was coming (no there's no recession, here's an economic stimulus package, rising gas, foreclosed homes, etc. etc), because we let ourselves be led by a bunch of people who have the same mindset as Ed McMahon and don't know how to manage money or power.
And people sit here and say there's never been a "poor" President, yet scared to vote for Obama who if nothing else knows about poverty first hand. Here's a person who actually lived first and foremost the American dream....and many AMERICANS are scared to support him because of soemthing as simple his race! And try to cover their racist attitude with other bullshit excuses.
Seems to me that if you are born broke as hell and you make it in America to one day have millions, to go to college, to survive...you might know how to manage money on some common sense level. Dubya was born with a silver spoon and managed to bankrupt a family business....that should have been a clue. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arbusto_Energy
Even damn Paris Hilton was born rich and she manages to figure out how to make MORE money. Damn...Paris is smarter than Dubya!
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
"AMEN to that! Doesn't anyone realize that it wasn't Bush who killed the economy, it was the Democrats in Congress. Wake up and stop falling for everything that asshole Obama says!"
Get bent. This is the lame go-to Republican smokesreen/Bush cult excuse of the moment. The Congress has only been Democratically-controlled for a mere two years. The whole financial crisis is an indictment of the age-old Republican myth that the Free Market is the answer the everyting. It may very well be the biggest lie they trot out.
Government doesn't work under Republican rule because of the simple fact they don't believe in government, only in profit. A government exits to serve the needs of the populace, not to turn a profit and be run like a business. The Free Market is not taking care of everyone. Toxic toys, tainted food, unsafe airlines, spiraling national debt, a money pit of a war, crumbling infastructure, the housing collapse, the energy crisis, and a looming Depression are evidence of that. Now the very same people who railed against regulation are putting their hands out in order to bail out the banks that by their own credo shouldn't need help at all.
I'll make up my own mind up about who I vote for. I don't need hollywood honks and they're dribble. Truth be told, it's in vogue to lick Obama's ass and rip McCain for being an old man. Ohhh, by the way, Joy your lines are really showing on HDTV time for a botox blast.
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AMEN to that! Doesn't anyone realize that it wasn't Bush who killed the economy, it was the Democrats in Congress. Wake up and stop falling for everything that asshole Obama says!
Seems he has a personal account on a famous millionaire dating site called """""""""""RichMatchMaking.com""""""""""""where lots of rich people share their lifestyle with. I am curious what kind of relationship he's looking for. Is he single now?
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I don't want a president who is a liar, and I really don't want one who lies so badly and for such a silly reason. I mean if you're going to lie, at least do it competently!
And I certainly don't want a president who so easily discards people who are of no use to him, because at any time one of us might be in that category.
I'm registered to vote and I'll be voting for a president who knows how to walk the line between playing politics and staying true to himself. McLame seems to have teetered right off that path.
Submitted by justice:
"At best, the US result is a lottery.. and a fixed one at that. How Bush won TWICE is nothing short of a miracle."
Submitted by Hekki:
You're right. I fully expect McCain to win. That's why the Republicans aren't sweating all the mistakes they're making. It's a foregone conclusion - McCain will win.
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No, McCain will lose. The liar even seems to be trying to lose.
And we have the electoral college, yay!
This reeks of sexism...Katie Couric is no longer just an anchor for GMA, but an important part of national evening news. It's obvious that her show is more important because it's a NEWS show. Although I don't agree with his lying, the fact that Letterman compared her show to Rachel Ray's and the fact that McCain showed Couric the same disrespect by expecting that reaction by lying is just disgusting. If the host was Charles Gibson, the reaction would have been different.
Submitted by EyeRoll on September 25, 2008 - 3:11pm.
Ah, spoken like a true greedy republican.
I don't give a shit about the next guy, and too much is never enough
lookin' out for No. 1
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I ain't no Republican and sho ain't greedy or rich. I don't have to beat up on McCain to feel better about myself.
But I'm not an Obama-bot either and I blame the inaction and greed of Americans who thought they could buy a house with nothing down and then flip it for tens of thousands in profit to become their own little Trump. But they didn't bet on the housing prices dropping and their homes, overpriced, would make them no money.
Like Bush, this country is living off too much credit. At least McCain (or really Cindy) own their homes. Don't hate.
"I find it ironic that the only "opportunities" that are created are by liberal democrats in Hollywood. Why aren't these same "opportunities" being crammed down our throats with the same regularity by the republicans?"
I think it's because the GOP has so much on its plate already what with clinging to eons-old superstitions, hand-wringing about where we stick our dicks, lamenting how much better the country would be if certain types just knew their place, trying to erect giant fences, firing competent U.S. Attorneys, fretting about flags being burned, closing ranks when it comes to Federal investigations, kissing televangelist ass, wanting to wage new Crusades, using the Constitution as an Etch-A-Sketch, creating fake news, jerking off to Ronald Reagan's ghost, constructing more pointless monuments, revising history, turning to nasty Hollywood for endorsements and high-profile new members of the party, and promoting the aggressively ignorant "Use It Or Lose It" environmental stance of the Reagan Era.
With all that professional moralizing being crammed down our throats, you're bound to miss out on a few "opportunities" here and there.
guys, sometimes it's just not worth your while. the only problem is there seem to be more of them than of us.....
****************************1/20/09
It says "Georgia Claymates: How Clay are We" if they were really shocked it's even funnier!
the rest of the world agrees Condi - we wouldn't really give a shit what our politicians did for fun - we'd give a shit what they did for us. The rest of the world is really really stumped at how Bush got in twice. but then we realize that it probably doesn't matter if any of you even go vote - the bottom line is your country is built on greed and your democratic process a laugh, voters have no say, lobby groups do. That is not the way it is in other countries. Sad really - good people stuck in a terrible system.
I just love Republicans and their Bill Clinton fetish. When the vaunted W. took office after Clinton, America had a surplus of money and was not embroiled in a worthless war which has claimed thousands of American lives FOR NO REASON. We still had most of our civil rights and we were not asked to provide TRILLIONS of taxpayer dollars to bail out greedy companies who just happen to be full of Bush, Cheney AND McCain cronies! And these cronies will still be paying themselves astronomical salaries and bonuses (with OUR money!), and still have the audacity to blame these huge financial failures on "lending home loans to minorities!"
God, if only Clinton were still president now - I'd take a little blow job in the Oval Office and a few subsequent lies over THIS INCREDIBLE MESS we're in now. But of course - Republicans are "morally superior" so all of this is OK in their eyes.
HAAAAA, BUSTED!!!!
Dave Letterman usually sucks, but this was enjoyable.
****************************Ding!
Shut up and eat my asshole.
bill clinton did not inherit any wealth.
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Don't get me started on Mr. Clinton. Talk about a liar. " I never had sexual relations with that woman"! Yeah, he didn't come from wealth and I'm sure him and his wife earned every penny they've made. (*sarcasm*)
Submitted by K2 on September 25, 2008 - 3:49pm I've never met a rich fucking republican, sorry.
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hahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhaHOO ha
****************************1/20/09
It says "Georgia Claymates: How Clay are We" if they were really shocked it's even funnier!
Ah, spoken like a true greedy republican.
I don't give a shit about the next guy, and too much is never enough
lookin' out for No. 1
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Um, sorry, but the greedy fucking Americans would be stashed away in Hollywood! They are also known as "democrats"! I've never met a rich fucking republican, sorry.
Submitted by stefystef on September 25, 2008 - 12:08pm.
When has a President NOT inherited some wealth?
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bill clinton did not inherit any wealth.
Submitted by stefystef on September 25, 2008 - 12:08pm.
If you want 7 homes, then buy them. Don't worry about that other people have...
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Ah, spoken like a true greedy republican.
I don't give a shit about the next guy, and too much is never enough
lookin' out for No. 1
Submitted by K2 on September 25, 2008 - 3:01pm.
How easily we forget that the Kennedy's weren't the average American and came from a shitload of wealth. The Bush family certainly doesn't scream poverty and the Clinton's probably have a few homes at this point too. When has a President NOT inherited some wealth? Talk about double standards.
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Damn right. The Kennedys got their money from selling illegal liquor too. I never understand why people give a fuck what rich people have but go on websites and obsess over them. If you want 7 homes, then buy them. Don't worry about that other people have... just because someone is a poor as you doesn't mean they identify with you.
Jon Stewart?? Joy Behar?? These are the people that hold the bar for American politics? We are fucked.
I'll make up my own mind up about who I vote for. I don't need hollywood honks and they're dribble. Truth be told, it's in vogue to lick Obama's ass and rip McCain for being an old man. Ohhh, by the way, Joy your lines are really showing on HDTV time for a botox blast.
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Well said. So true so true.
Dearest Chip-ster:
I don't except anything less but lies from politicians.
I don't support McCain, but have respect for him. Letterman is a gap-tooth pussy.
Period.
The average American doesn't own 7(!) homes.
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How easily we forget that the Kennedy's weren't the average American and came from a shitload of wealth. The Bush family certainly doesn't scream poverty and the Clinton's probably have a few homes at this point too. When has a President NOT inherited some wealth? Talk about double standards.
Submitted by thebiglebowski on September 25, 2008 - 1:01pm.
excuse me k2, but what a generalization that was. so everyone that watches letterman is a drunk stoner? please. some people work a night shift and may watch letterman when they get out of work. some people may watch letterman just because they like him. i find your comment so biased that it really doesnt even deserve a response
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Then don't respond. Who asked you to? You sound defensive. Stop getting your panties in a knot over every comment I make. Geez. freedom of speech baby! If the drunk stoner comment doesn't apply to you then just disregard it. No need for the soap box lecture.
Oh shit. This is the token political thread isn't it?
If only I'd gone to barbizon i'd know how to walk backwards out a door.
I love Dave - he's always been such a sour old man.
"I'm off to save the country" heehee
Submitted by Gry on September 25, 2008 - 9:28am.
Yes. Main Stream Media is a huge disappointment.
(i think you meant to say 'can look like the cat that ate the sketti')
Madam Pince on September 25, 2008 - 1:26pm
He did.
Last week I think.
And yes, he was great.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
Barack Obama would not do this. Not only would he show up, but would match Letterman wit for wit.
I'm Madam Pince, and I endorsed this message.
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Keep your muscles strong
Around your asshole
Keep your muscles strong around your brain
That way too much shit doesn't get out
And stops you sounding insane
Imagination is more Important than Knowledge
Michael K- your story reminded me of a time I lied to work and got caught.
I called in sick to work to got to a concert on Friday. (Grateful Dead). It was in Orlando, Fl and they had news teams covering the 2 day show. I was on TV because they filmed me playing frisbee and a 2 second interview on why I like the Grateful Dead. It was shown on all the news stations and they showed it 6pm an 11pm and my boss saw it- BUSTED! LOL
*peeks in*
*tip toes back out*
excuse me k2, but what a generalization that was. so everyone that watches letterman is a drunk stoner? please. some people work a night shift and may watch letterman when they get out of work. some people may watch letterman just because they like him. i find your comment so biased that it really doesnt even deserve a response
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on September 25, 2008 - 9:59am.
Good morning, my little dove.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
Bill of Rights
Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
This has nothing to do with politics, but I can't stand David Letterman. Never could. He's just never been funny to me...I said, TO ME. So, that is just MY opinion.