Fart On A Cop, Get Charged With Battery

I'm just going to cut to the cheese with this story. This is Jose Cruz of West Charleston, West Virginia and he was charged with battery after he busted a fart on a police officer and then flamed it in his face. Even worse, it was a drunk fart. Drunk farts always smell like creamed chipped beef and yeast.

It all started when Jose was pulled over because his headlights weren't on. The police officer arrested him after he failed a few sobriety tests and took him to the police station.

When Jose was being fingerprinted, he lifted his leg and farted loudly on the officer. The violated officer wrote in the complaint notes that Jose then "fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear" onto the cop. The officer went on to write that the gas "was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature." The officers' notes should be released as a comedy toilet book.

Jose was charged with DUI and also battery for dropping a stink bomb on a policeman. Assault with a stinky weapon.

The officer thinks he had it bad? What about Jose's innocent chonies? I'm sure they weren't happy about getting covered in Jose's ass mousse. That must violate some kind of law.

And somebody needs to show this shit to Tony Romo. The next time Jessica Simpson dutch ovens him, he should know that he has legal options.

Thanks Jesse

Posted by: Michael K

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Dumbasses

Submitted by The C word on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:43pm.

I just performed a citizen’s arrest on myself.

*giggling but not wafting*

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I'm hoping to be sponsered by Frito-Lay and Visine.

Submitted by xxyxz on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:43pm.

what a dumbass

Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:42pm.

I never thought I'd see the day that I'd make my adolescent sons (read: farting machines) read MK as a cautionary tale.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSyOCx6ZXfM&feature=related

Submitted by Rocket on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:42pm.

And somebody needs to show this shit to Tony Romo. The next time Jessica Simpson dutch ovens him, he should know that he has legal options.

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So funny.

Submitted by speakit on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:42pm.

I'm gonna eat beans and rob a bank.

I SAID GET DOWN, MUTHAFUKKAS OR I SWEAR TO GAWD I'LL PULL MY FINGER! DON'T TEST ME! I'LL DO IT!

Submitted by Triscuit on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:40pm.

I love that he "lifted his leg"

Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:40pm.

I silently assault my co-workers on a daily basis.

Bitches deserve it though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?

Submitted by _fail_ on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:40pm.

Good thing he didn't light it or it would have been a deadly weapon...

Submitted by KD on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:39pm.

The story I read says he turned and purposely farted on the cops leg. Shoot if he is going to jail for that, they should lock me up too. I could probably be considered a weapon of mass destruction.

Submitted by paris herpes on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:39pm.

When I was a kid and ate tons of junk food I used to fart dutch oven style in bed and pissed off all my family members as we watched TV...ah good times!

Your face!

Submitted by Triscuit on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:39pm.

I am like a 13 year old boy when it comes to farts.
LMFAO

Submitted by jim on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:37pm.

ISN'T IT CALLED "WAFFED" WHEN YOU CUP YOUR HAND AND BRING THE GAS WITH YOUR HAND TOWARDS SOMEONES FACE???

Submitted by KD on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 3:36pm.

I totally almost sent him this story!