Fart On A Cop, Get Charged With Battery
I'm just going to cut to the cheese with this story. This is Jose Cruz of West Charleston, West Virginia and he was charged with battery after he busted a fart on a police officer and then flamed it in his face. Even worse, it was a drunk fart. Drunk farts always smell like creamed chipped beef and yeast.
It all started when Jose was pulled over because his headlights weren't on. The police officer arrested him after he failed a few sobriety tests and took him to the police station.
When Jose was being fingerprinted, he lifted his leg and farted loudly on the officer. The violated officer wrote in the complaint notes that Jose then "fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear" onto the cop. The officer went on to write that the gas "was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature." The officers' notes should be released as a comedy toilet book.
Jose was charged with DUI and also battery for dropping a stink bomb on a policeman. Assault with a stinky weapon.
The officer thinks he had it bad? What about Jose's innocent chonies? I'm sure they weren't happy about getting covered in Jose's ass mousse. That must violate some kind of law.
And somebody needs to show this shit to Tony Romo. The next time Jessica Simpson dutch ovens him, he should know that he has legal options.
Thanks Jesse
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ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And somebody needs to show this shit to Tony Romo. The next time Jessica Simpson dutch ovens him, he should know that he has legal options.
fucking hilarious
Ride the spiral to the end you may just go where no ones been. SPIRAL OUT
Submitted by yoly on September 24, 2008 - 11:09pm.
What if you remain in the car and when they come over to ask for paperwork, you fart and flap your legs real fast to make it rise? will you get a ticket then? You could always say your crotch itched....
...I think you should wait til they frisk you.
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
hahahahah....
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if you don't want to be used, then don't be a tool...
Idiot. Check out www.pukingdog.com for more crazy news. Tell 'em dlisted sent you and get a free yourname@pukingdog.com email address.
What if you remain in the car and when they come over to ask for paperwork, you fart and flap your legs real fast to make it rise? will you get a ticket then? You could always say your crotch itched.
Hilarious! A stink bomb is now assault in WVA.
Too funny!!!
Submitted by SeH on September 24, 2008 - 4:49pm.
Submitted by Karen Flatts on September 24, 2008 - 5:31pm.
Ahahahahaa that would be terrible!
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Really. I just hope they never win the lottery, or it might set them off on a shooting spree.
lmao lmao lmao..that's great
Submitted by Karen Flatts on September 24, 2008 - 5:31pm.
Ahahahahaa that would be terrible!
Submitted by oklahoma on September 24, 2008 - 1:11pm.
....Me and a friend got pulled over for not having lights on at night. We were really fucking drunk, and just got thru fucking up some shit in a neighbor hood.. ya know. Just for fun.. And the cop pulled us over.. My friend tripped OUT! I was like "calm down, leave the drinks their, don't be suspicious", They were never the wiser, and we tole them the street lights were so bright, WE thought we had our headlights on.. he's like "carry on".. PIG!
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So let me get this straight: You were out driving around breaking the law in at least three ways(no lights, DWI, open container) and the cop who pulled you over let you go. Therefore, he's a PIG! for doing you a favor? Do you throw your drinks on the waitress if she gives you a free one, too?
Submitted by Dr. Dick
Dutch Oven: Farting in bed and pulling the covers over your partner's head.
What, pray tell, is a "Dutch oven?" I'm too afraid to google based on my last experience with dirty sanchez.
Fucker has stones for doing it. Not real bright but he does have nuts! I agree witht he poster from New York, try that here and you would get a billie club up your ass!
Yessssssssssssssssss.
Farts are hilarious.
Mr. Hekki used to cup his hand around the fart and try to "throw" it. He also said the "cupping" technique improved the audio of the fart as well.
Submitted by jussayin: "he's lucky the officer was not from NY because then he might have gotten a nightstick shoved up his ass to stop future assault...."
That's exactly what I was thinking.
next time i get arrested i'm so doing this!!!!!!!!!!
Silvara!!!
I wasn't calling you a whore!! I was calling the whores that work here whores!!!!
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Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
Submitted by preppygrrl on September 24, 2008 - 4:14pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Is that you in your avvie?
If so you look like some girl named Shannon I know.(not a bad thing,either)
I gave myself an asthma attack I laughed so hard.. "fanning the fart" HA HA HA HAHAHAH
That is really gross. He looks gross anyways. yuck.. Me and a friend got pulled over for not having lights on at night. We were really fucking drunk, and just got thru fucking up some shit in a neighbor hood.. ya know. Just for fun.. And the cop pulled us over.. My friend tripped OUT! I was like "calm down, leave the drinks their, don't be suspicious", They were never the wiser, and we tole them the street lights were so bright, WE thought we had our headlights on.. he's like "carry on".. PIG!
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
LMFAO! that really isn't a bad thing to receive..what a total wuss! these police, honest to gawd. I daren't fart in their presence now. What if he'd lit it?!! huh????? they should count themselves lucky..they still have their brows.
You're right about Jessica's boyfriends. Sue her ass.
not a cube babe
fishbowl....bubbles....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
so HAHA u cant shiot on me ya nasty....
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"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
I'd hit it. But I'd turn on fan or something.
I can’t seem to face up to the facts
I’m tense and nervous and I can’t relax
I can’t sleep because my bed’s on fire
Don’t touch me I’m a real live wire.
Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
fart fart fart fart fart fart fart fart fart far better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH
Psycho Pooter
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
fart fart fart fart fart fart fart fart fart fart better
Run run run run run run run away
Oh OH oh
AY AY AY AY DAYUm
You start a conversation you can't even finish it.
You're talkin' a lot, but you're not sayin' anything.
When I have nothing to say, my ass lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzEadbTCKDA
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"It would be a grave mistake to say that we're going to buy up a bad debt that resulted from the bad decisions of these people and then allow them to get millions of dollars on the way out"
I am going to side with the officer on this one. It wasn't like he accidently let one go. He purposely tried to gross the guy out. Not that they all deserve it, but I still believe you should treat police officers and other public servants with respect.
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I used to be a swinger
Til you wrapped me
Round your finger,
Just like a yo-yo
Just like a yo-yo
Silvara!
Really. EVIL BITCHES HERE!!! Whore, it's not my fault you sit in a cube!!
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Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
I bet it was one of those that just lingered like a mushroom cloud.
That had to be an appetite-wrecker for sure.
Heh, heh. He said "ass mousse".
Love it!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Why isn't this gentleman hsotd? He's been doubly wronged.
LOL. A Farticidal Manic?
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"It would be a grave mistake to say that we're going to buy up a bad debt that resulted from the bad decisions of these people and then allow them to get millions of dollars on the way out"
Okay, cut him some slack. He didn't break the law, he just broke wind.
Even the look of his mug shot looks like he's cutting one. He's probably like "Bust me now Beeches"
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
Evidence submitted:
Exhibit A, Skidmarked panties, autographed by Clay Aiken.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
Farticide, Book 'em Dano.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
I silently assault my co-workers on a daily basis.
Bitches deserve it though.
(this made me poot too :)
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"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
his heiney smells like hood rat.
He was considered silent but deadly...TOOT TOOT!!!
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
Submitted by Jadedkitten on September 24, 2008 - 3:49pm.
what are you in for I farted on a cop
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AHAHAHA ya know how convicted murderers sometimes have a tear drop tattooed under their eye? this guy should totally have a little brown puffy cloud tattoo
I'll tell ya'll what... some vato shiots all over me and it's on bit*ches for reals
as*hole's gonna get my foot up his chonies
*thinking hard core thoughts, but really would run while pooting out my butt*
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"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
People who drink and drive are such fuckin scum. I almost got run over by a drunk driver on way my to school when I was in the 7th grade, I'll never forget that morning.
even though farts are soo bush era yesterday.. this guy is still my hero.
what are you in for I farted on a cop
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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Michael Phelps’ heart pumps twice as much blood as the average human’s heart.Blood made of the failed Olympic dreams of everyone that has raced against him.
"was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature."
wow...having to write that up must be humiliating.
You have the right to remain...Pppppffffffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt!!
^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^
“Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”
@Joe!
I have been missing you. How is my future Aussie family doing?
Farting with the Intent to kill somehow reminds me of you uncle...the one possed in the closet...LOL.
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"It would be a grave mistake to say that we're going to buy up a bad debt that resulted from the bad decisions of these people and then allow them to get millions of dollars on the way out"
he's lucky the officer was not from NY because then he might have gotten a nightstick shoved up his ass to stop future assault....
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
I flipped off a cop once and he said it was a felony.Cops have no sense of humor.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.