Gayken Comes Out: The Morning After
I know you're still reeling from the fact that Clay Gayken officially loves the peen. I'm sure Kathy Griffin is sobbing in her closet, considering early retirement. Don't do that, Kathy. Remember. You'll always have Ryan Gaycrest.
Oh and in related news, I'm gay too. I know. Too many gay shockers for a 24-period.
This morning, People released a few experts from Clay's totally gay interview and the born-again Christian talks about why he decided to shock the world by unveiling the best kept secret in Hollywood.
On why he decided to come clean:
"It was the first decision I made as a father. I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn't raised that way, and I'm not going to raise a child to do that."On how he thinks his mom-jeans-wearing fans are going to handle the news:
"Whether it be having a child out of wedlock, or whether it be simply being a homosexual, it's going to be a lot. I've never intended to lie to anybody at all. ... But if they leave, I don't want them to leave hating me."On telling his mommy four years ago:
"It was dark. I was sitting there, thinking to myself. I don't know why I started thinking about it ... I just started bawling. She made me pull over the car and it just came out. She started crying. She was obviously somewhat stunned. But she was very supportive and very comforting. She still struggles with things quite a bit, but she's come a long way."On raising his son Parker Foster Aiken:
"I have no idea if he'll be gay or straight. It's not something I'll have anything to do with, or that he'll have anything to do with. It's already probably up inside the code there ... No matter what the situation you're in, if you're raised in a loving environment, that's the most important thing."
Did he just call himself a "homosexual"? I thought my frigid aunt was the only one who called the gays that. She also refers to any of my boyfriends as my "special friend." And is Gayken's mommy living in the basement with Solange? She was stunned to find out he's a sausage worshiper? I mean. If your name is Clay Aiken, you might be gay.
Also, I've been wondering what the die-hard Claymates think of all of this. I haven't found shit! This site, which is homebase for Claymates in Georgia, has yet to comment on it. I keep refreshing like crazy. Thankfully they have amazingly hot pictures of their idol to entertain me with. Seriously. Look at these pictures. High-art! That Clay Gayken doll is going to haunt my gay dreams.
ShareThis
Submitted by karma289 on September 24, 2008 - 8:58am.
LMAO! I had to register to tell you, you are tooo damn funny, I LOVE IT!
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Welcome to the Dark Side!
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Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I slept with you because I was pissed.
EEG all is calm on the home front as of now ha ha ha!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
ok OFF TOPIC: I just read on CNN that PETA is asking Ben and Jerry's to use human breast milk instead of cow's milk in their ice cream. I am gonna HURL!?!?!?!
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
I actually feel a little bit bad for Gayken, you can tell his momma is a militant Christian and he grew up thinking something was wrong with him because of it.
Now wake me up when John Travolta is on the cover with TommyGirl on his lap, TG holding the power cord to Katie Holmes and laughing maniacally "Yep, we're gayelles!"
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
I know you're watching over us, Pap. I love you, I miss you already.
Clarisse, here's your binky.
next question.
the woman with the lifesize paper doll of Gayken, does she fuck it do you think? I think she superglued a dildo to it and lays on top of it every night, moaning, oh clay! oh clay!
BILLY!
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Submitted by TheBreakdown on September 24, 2008 - 9:57am.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
No offense to anyone,but that last sentence needs to be said with a Southern twang!
LoLo, any news to share?
O/T...got nothing because it is all just too obvious.
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pathetic is chatting with bitch of crazy mouth
Funny Bitch LoLo as FLA
LMAO! I had to register to tell you, you are tooo damn funny, I LOVE IT!
As for Gayken, he was never "in" the closet, how the hell could he come "out" of it?
CTH,
"pictures of him being...... "sexy""
No! No want! No want!! No mommy!
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"Who are you really, wanderer?" -- and the answer you have to give no matter how dark and cold the world around you is: "Maybe I'm a king."
This is like recycled news, 10x over.
But the gays don't want to claim him, and no woman would have that.
That baby is gonna catch the gay!!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://societysex.blogspot.com/
JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!
Because I cant drive while Im crying over Gay Bacon comming out of a glass closet that stored invisible clothes in it!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
"Ducks the topalina barf"
Yeah, this world is getting scarier by the minute ain't it? Palin as prez, Clay reproducing, the staying in bed thing sounds pretty good right now..
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
My God, that office cubbie!!! As if going to work doesn't suck enough, can you imagine sitting next to that person every day?
Clay is Gay? MichaelK Too?
I have not been this stunned since it was revealed that Liberace was gay.
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I used to be a swinger
Til you wrapped me
Round your finger,
Just like a yo-yo
Just like a yo-yo
His name is Clayton
(that is, to his family and close friends, but to us, he is simply "Clay")
Missy
the skerriest comment was the person saying they thought he was a normal person with values...
omg, tell me it's 2008!
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Submitted by yeahbuddy on September 24, 2008 - 9:49am.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
I thought your comment said "who gives a fuck about HIS asshole"
*Laughs like an idiot*
no, mk the mother has been living in beyonce's attic, solange has filled the basement with all those "christmas tree" outfits, no space.
Listen, I'm already petrified enough at the thought of Sarah Palin maybe being the President one day, I don't need to know there are people like the Claymates running around and breeding too. I may just go back to bed and never get up again.
Submitted by islandgirl on September 24, 2008 - 9:49am.
Oh, so because he's 'officially' gay, that must mean he's also a pedophile? These people are demented.
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Apparently... please God don't let them make comments about him whacking off his newborn son.
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 24, 2008 - 9:47am.
LCT
SHOCKING!
You, you , you don't want to fuck the Clay?
that manly man's hands running over your supple no no parts, that delicate mouth covering your..
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Oh my God I swear Hoffalina I am aiming this vomit right for your mouth.
So who do you guys think is next? You think Gaycrest will ever come out? Or do you think that guy with the gray hair will beat him to the punch?
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That's *Hedley*!
Gayken coming out is obviously a career move for some press, I mean really, who really gives a fuck about this asshole except to laugh at him a little bit, had to come out NOW while there were still just a smallest bit of interest before absolutely no one gave a shit anymore.
From a Claymate: "I still love to hear him sing but I also feel he has now become like a Michael Jackson and it's a bit too weird!"
*****
Oh, so because he's 'officially' gay, that must mean he's also a pedophile? These people are demented.
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Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I slept with you because I was pissed.
the mother was SHOCKED
did she not watch american idol with us? LOL
LCT
SHOCKING!
You, you , you don't want to fuck the Clay?
that manly man's hands running over your supple no no parts, that delicate mouth covering your..
BBBLLLUUUUUUURRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Submitted by missy on September 24, 2008 - 8:45am.
LMFAO!!!!! THAT IS TOO MUCH!
I bet his mom tried for years to set him up with every little Miss Pollyanna from church.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Submitted by missy on September 24, 2008 - 9:45am.
Stupid tears are gunking up my contact lenses
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People are actually crying because CLay finally pulled his head out of his own asshole and told everyone what they already knew, or should have known if they weren't blind and/or retarded?
His mother, obviously, was stunned? Nice grasp of the obvious there, Mrs. Aiken.
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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.
Submitted by Triscuit on September 24, 2008 - 8:44am.
what have I told you about farting in here, smelly bitch!
okay, it's offical, I need to gain two hundred pounds, get me some K-Mart house dresses and fall to my knees in front of my Clay doll.
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
MK you are gay? this cannot be, i always thought your love for a dick was just the love of the beauty of the dick, not literally the sucking on one.
i am SHOCKED i tell ya, SHOCKED
that little god damn doll!!!!!!!
i cant even begin!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
This message board has looooooooooooads of comments. Some are shocked with news? WTF?! Even my blind dog could see he is gay.
http://theclayboard.yuku.com/topic/26806/t/Upcoming-People-Magazine-Cove...
psst triscuit! ♥♥!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 24, 2008 - 9:40am.
Clarisse
go to that site, click on the is it hot in here link, there's pictures of him being...... "sexy"
"runs to toilet to vomit"
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BLUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG
How could ANYONE find those pictures of him looking like he's fucking a canteloupe sexy?? AAAAHHHH there goes breakfast. Bye bye breakfast. Bye bye.
I found some claymate reactions.. I posted them in the other clay post too and emailed them to mk.. some sick pleasure Im getting out of this... rocking the foundation of christian claymate fanbase! heheee!
haha, ok, here are some juicy claymate reactions:
"please tell me I'm not the only one who is shocked beyond belief! I feel numb I'm so upset. This can't be real!! How can you guys say this won't change anything? This changes EVERYTHING. I don't even know what to think right now"
"This is a gut wrenching day for The ClayNation. Somebody wake me up, I hope its a dream."
"I wish him well and hope he gets some peace of mind now BUT I feel he lied to everyone-especially us fans. He should have just said so years ago. I feel like we were "used". I still love to hear him sing but I also feel he has now become like a Michael Jackson and it's a bit too weird! He isn't just the plain ordinary person with the values he first stood for.-but it's just my opinion."
"The Diane Sawyer interview bothered me too. I just pushed it out of my mind. His having Parker with Jaymes pretty much confirmed it for me, so I have slowly been backing away. Now this. I have been a fan from the very beginning and will always admire his voice and quirky personality, but I just can't do this anymore. And I will very much miss, probably as much as Clay, the wonderful and clever chats with those members of this board, and I really mean that. Stupid tears are gunking up my contact lenses"
" am so sorry for those struggling with this news. I had my struggle in 2006. It took me a while, but I got over my sadness and anger and rediscovered the reasons why I love Clay so much."
"Gosh, I am still a little stunned but slowly taking it all in. It sure is never a dull day being a Clay fan!!"
Never a dull day indeed, Claymate, never a dull day indeed.
(to be fair, most posts on the "ClayBoard" *snicker snicker* were postitive and expressed support)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
CTH..asshole.
"that is some fucked up child abuse right there" made me laugh so hard I farted!Where is LoveCarrottop when you need her?
Of course that lady did't mention it on her website because she keeled over from a heart attack!
Okay Wal-Mart get ready to stock up on Hot Pockets like never before. Those Claymates are going to turn to their favorite comfort food to get over this disappointment.
Lolo
that shit is my new favorite site! worship the clay!
omg, I'm laughing so hard the dog's scared!
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
OMG, those faghags..."How Clay Are We?"...LOL!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'm hoping to be sponsered by Frito-Lay and Visine.
I just checked out the Georgia Claymates website. OMG! The sea of fat moms is truly scary!
"When I die, Satan is going to weep, 'cause that bitch will know he is out of a job."
Wait, Michael K is gay?????? Don't do this to me.
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"Money first, orgasms second." - Michael K
Look at the pics NSFL scrrrrrrry.yipe.
Duuuuude.WHY is that MAN wearing that shirt?
I know MK is the GAYEST guy in the history of gaydom(yes)and his fluffy ass would not even wear that shit!!!!
_Submitted by christine the hoff on September 24, 2008 - 10:08am.
CLICK ON THE LOOK AT THESE PICTURES LINK
HA HA HA I have mascara streaming down my face OMG! That is just has me no words!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Wow that was some website! Yikes!
I'm not surprised that Gayken's mom didn't know he was gay, (cough, denial).
My sister was surprised when her son came out at 15. I knew he was gay from the time he was a baby. Christ, his first word was "Vogue"!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
I lived for a long time in the extremely evangelical area that Clay grew up in and it's not hard to figure out why he'd stay so desperately closeted. Irrational hatred is a really really big deterrent. I was always annoyed that he didn't have the courage to come out officially, but one could hardly blame him. We're not talking about fairy jokes or anything stupid like that. We're talking hateful lynch mobs that will speak of him by name (as an example for going to hell, no doubt) for the next 3 years during Sunday service. It's disgusting. I'm glad Clay found it within him...and I hope he stays away from the people who can't just let him lead a peaceful life.
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Too weird to live; too rare to die.
Clarisse
go to that site, click on the is it hot in here link, there's pictures of him being...... "sexy"
"runs to toilet to vomit"
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
I'm still reeling from this most unexpected news. Clay Aiken, gay?? I didn't see this coming. Next are you gonna tell me Dubya is a failure as President??
((giggles like a lunatic))
I am sure the Claymates are holding a meeting at their local Wal-Marts hoping to "pray the gay away from Clay".
"When I die, Satan is going to weep, 'cause that bitch will know he is out of a job."
CLICK ON THE LOOK AT THESE PICTURES LINK, I'VE GONE BLIND.
seriously, it's good to know his fans look exactly like I pictured them in my little head.
and that poor kid with a clay doll, omg, what did he ever do? that's fucked up child abuse, right there.
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"