Tuesday, September 23rd 2008
Morning Wood
The perfect "stocking stuffer": David Beckham's extra-gay calendar - Popbytes
Kendra Wilkinson is engaged.......to a dude and it's not Hef. - Celebitchy
David Blaine is faker than fake! - Mollygood
A day at the park with Berry & Baby - A Socialite's Life
The lazy-eyed ho from the original "90210" has some serious cleavage - Popoholic
Posh goes to the gym 7 days a week. She totally works out in heels. - ICYDK
Jennifer Aniston with a man on the beach. They look thrilled. - I'm Not Obsessed
Daniel Craig will never put on the Bond trunks again. Booo! - Gabsmash
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Submitted by LoLo on September 23, 2008 - 12:25pm.
Okie and Carrot, this is the SAME son of a bitch who stopped by my desk to show me a video of FAME the movie.
WTF? He said to me before he showed it, "OMG this is the best I love the dancing!"
WTF???? DANCING???? Who the fuck? WHAT?
God damn idiot!
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Maybe it's time to put a tutu and a wide assortment of makeup on his desk. Maybe he'll get the point.
CHoff. toetae!! *twirls foot in dirt, hangs head* We can wait.. : (
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NovaNightly.. Then did he act like HE did everything cause he did that ONE thing? that's what my guy would have done,He's an only child, too..
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 23, 2008 - 12:18pm.
LCT
Are hot farts as tasty as hot wings?
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Tastier! It's like hot wings on crack!
Submitted by NovaNightly on September 23, 2008 - 1:02pm.
Pretty sure I live with a long lost relative of your hubby lil momma!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
sounds like you need to slip that guy a xanax in his coffee Lolo......anything to calm his ass down.
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“Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”
Okie
No, not til the wedding nite I wants it to be spezshul.
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Well my man got so PISSED at me the other day when i told him i wear the pants in the family. Then i clarified by saying that i do everything...all care for the kids, all the cleaning, all the other random household chores, pay the bills, work 9-1/2 hours a day 5 days a week, take care of the pets....and then i told him that taking out the trash one day a week is NOT ENOUGH. Sooo...long story short, he did the dishes last night. lol. Did i win??
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“Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”
You guys, see i work in a place that is very cool hardly any drama and this bitch is up in here acting a fucking fool and causing shit.
FOR NO REASON!
The mother fucker must be stopped.
FAME?????
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Hoff. Oh yes, i have food for you, in a special place.. You work for it when you get home as well! You crawl into bed w/ me now, and lets get this marriage started.. Woooooweeee!! *hears kin shooting shotguns*
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Beckham looks as gay as the gayest thing you ever saw, but wrapped up in pink tinsel. I've met drag queens that look more butch. Man, he looks gay- all it needs is his squeeky little voice for gay overload. Yet, I understand he's married to a gel-funny old world.
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Look Tater Head, I've found you a boyfriend!
When you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.
LMAO Lolo, I love the dancing!
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Okie
you saves me little food??? plueasse??????
okay.
"buying the engagement ring"
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
LoLo, By 'guy' do you mean 'dragqueen' and by 'he loves dancing' do you mean 'i love sucking and fondling dick?' if so.. I think we have a major problem and we need to get you out of there quick!!!
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Christine thHoff.. Why yes I will marry you, but you will have to work And I will stay home and eat all of the food you work to buy. OK? These terms only!!
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Okie and Carrot, this is the SAME son of a bitch who stopped by my desk to show me a video of FAME the movie.
WTF? He said to me before he showed it, "OMG this is the best I love the dancing!"
WTF???? DANCING???? Who the fuck? WHAT?
God damn idiot!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by TITS on September 23, 2008 - 5:05pm.
He says, "I'm not going to put those trunks on ever again."
Nuts. I'm going back to bed.
Me too. Think on Danny- you were in some right shit films- 'The Mother' anyone?- before those trunks so less hubris and more eye candy if you please.
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Look Tater Head, I've found you a boyfriend!
When you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.
So Posh used to say "shopping keeps me child like in physique and unable to eat" uh yeah!
I remember Pam anderson would say "I jump around and dance while shopping w/ friends, it keeps me in shape, and I also jack off sales men in the area" Well I added that last part, but you get the idea..
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Okie, you sick, twisted fuck!
will you marry me?
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Submitted by LoLo on September 23, 2008 - 12:18pm.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 23, 2008 - 12:45pm.
Ohhhhhhhh
Im a Christian Fisherman today.
I'll just use balls as bait for you.
There is a guy here at work who is a total bitch and I swear to god by the end of this day i will have punched him in the face or thrown him off the roof.
He is not a boss or even upper management, just a bicth who is about to get hurt. Im not even fucking kidding.
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You know what to do. SPANK HIM! Or, take a dump on his desk, smear it around with your butt cheeks, and put a little flag on it, marking your territory. He better watch his ass!
*hands LoLo a hook* Slice up that dick for bait, But be sure to remove it from the fish before you cook it.. Yuck!
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
I think these farts are weird: Like when you are sitting firm in a chair, And a fart bubbles in your shorts, and the fart bubble comes up your back, like up the back of your jeans or panties.. That feels and sounds weird, Like you are making a fart sound w/ your hand to mouth.. anyone? anyone?? *looks around* *scoots back into corner*
LCT
Are hot farts as tasty as hot wings?
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 23, 2008 - 12:45pm.
Ohhhhhhhh
Im a Christian Fisherman today.
I'll just use balls as bait for you.
There is a guy here at work who is a total bitch and I swear to god by the end of this day i will have punched him in the face or thrown him off the roof.
He is not a boss or even upper management, just a bicth who is about to get hurt. Im not even fucking kidding.
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 23, 2008 - 12:13pm.
LCT
a fart may sneak, but they know a deliberate fart and you'll drop it like it's hot.
also, if possible, fuck one of his friends, just so he knows who's the boss.
poop.
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What sound does a wet poop make? *squidge* *shlarp* *Splaaaaoip*
Hahahah, hot farts.
Submitted by LoLo on September 23, 2008 - 12:12pm.
LCT what happened at poker night?
Lose a bunch of mula?
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No, I'm just bitching about how men need to get all their testicles into one room once a week to remain somewhat sane.
Submitted by Clarisse on September 23, 2008 - 12:12pm.
Carrottop!!!
It is a MEAT Lovers!!! Tee hee heeeeee
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Uh oh. Bottle it and send it to me. Extensive research must be conducted.
*struts around* Yeah, yeah! I turned the clocks back to say Ding Dong Me Monday,And damned if they didn't alright! Damned if they didn't! Now I'm at home resting the girls..
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Snowy, ha, i looked at MK's Myspace, lol.. I've never went to that before, cause I couldn't at work. that is really funny shit!
Submitted by NovaNightly on September 23, 2008 - 9:07am.
My man was an only child raised by his mother...so make your assumptions based on that and you're probably spot on. lol.
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Mine grew up with 5 sisters, two brothers and one bathroom.
He keeps his expectations low which is good for me because I am the Queen Bee.
In other words, the rocks in his head fill the holes in mine.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Farshtinkener
LCT
a fart may sneak, but they know a deliberate fart and you'll drop it like it's hot.
also, if possible, fuck one of his friends, just so he knows who's the boss.
poop.
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
LCT what happened at poker night?
Lose a bunch of mula?
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Carrottop!!!
It is a MEAT Lovers!!! Tee hee heeeeee
Nova!
Ugh! God save us from Momma's boys! I would rather date a man raised by monkeys that fling POO than a momma's boy!
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So how was the orgy? Didja score?
Okie had the Monday Moanings and it is not even Get Laid Friday yet...
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"It would be a grave mistake to say that we're going to buy up a bad debt that resulted from the bad decisions of these people and then allow them to get millions of dollars on the way out"-Rep Barney Frank
Those trunks were the only thing that made Craig f-ckable (oh and the blue eyes). That's the only reason I saw the film.
Submitted by Clarisse on September 23, 2008 - 12:00pm.
HOLY Farts!! A poo thread with a healthy dash of man bashing!!!!
Oh happy day! Ooooh Happy Day!!!!!!!
LCT,
I'm having pizza for lunch!
*wink*wink*
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What kind? If it has mushrooms, beef, and peppers LOOKOUT! No one go near Clarissalina this afternoon!!!
Snowy, HAHAHA, OMG I always get that wrong. Too funny! I'm even wearing my glasses too. Oops
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 23, 2008 - 12:01pm.
LCT
doody brigade. lol! ha!
Hoff's dating advice? don't.
find one who can fuck you like a bunny on crack, tell him that other than sex, you're just friends.
continue living your life, doing exactly as you please, you get fucked and you don't have to do his laundry, smell his farts, cook, or put up with his stinky poker games.
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Fucking him with no strings attached does not mean you won't get farted on. Trust.
GDI! POKER GAMES! FUCK THEM AND THEIR STUPID BOYS NIGHTS OUT! AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
My man was an only child raised by his mother...so make your assumptions based on that and you're probably spot on. lol.
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“Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”
okie! look closely, it's our dear leader MK with Rojo, he has it as his myspace pic. ButROTFLMAO. MK in a dress looks like angie!?****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Daniel Craig tossed his tight trunks from Casino Royale and has vowed never to pinch his ass in them again. Damn. He says, "I'm not going to put those trunks on ever again."
Nuts. I'm going back to bed.
~~ Outrageous Fortune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OawKbP6bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklclPee5KM&feature=related
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 23, 2008 - 11:03am.
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 23, 2008 - 9:01am.
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where were you when I needed you?!?!?!
I was out fucking up my life and making my own mistakes, LOL!!!! now I know better. life is good.
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Snowy,, i sure did! I took advantage of the poor boy.. Is that Rojo & Jolie in your av? lol..
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Submitted by snowpiece on September 23, 2008 - 11:50am.
LCT: PURE BRILLIANCE!
"2) Their egos are so beyond over-sensitive that any error they make they must turn it around on someone else."
yes yes yes!!!!!!!!!
I lost my ATM card this morning, I called home and asked him to look for it, you guys already know how this story is gonna end huh? LMAO!!!!!
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He'll be making his own dinner tonight!
yay! okie got her ass tapped! ****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Yeah, and i read that holly (hef's other skank) is dating Criss Angel mind loser.. WTF is w/ this shit! Poor hef.. poor limp dick hef..
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 23, 2008 - 9:01am.
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where were you when I needed you?!?!?!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Farshtinkener
David is not cute in the face. He has a nice body but that is it.
I got laid last night!!! *smiles*
Oh, and poooooot!
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
@ CTH I'll take a vod and tonic sweets
thanks so much <3
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"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
Daniel Craig will never be Bond again? But he is Bond now!!! Those will be hard shoes to fill.
http://www.modegreen.com/
LCT
doody brigade. lol! ha!
Hoff's dating advice? don't.
find one who can fuck you like a bunny on crack, tell him that other than sex, you're just friends.
continue living your life, doing exactly as you please, you get fucked and you don't have to do his laundry, smell his farts, cook, or put up with his stinky poker games.
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"