Cloris & Lucci For The Win!
Last night was the 10-hour premiere of "Dancing with the Has-Beens." It wasn't really 10 hours, but it felt like it. The only reason to watch was for Cloris Leachman and Susan Lucci. They prove once again that we need more elderly ladies on television. First up is Cloris!
82-year-old Cloris brought out her memaw titty sacks and was ready to dance. Okay, she was no Cyd Charisse, but that's not what the show is about! Cloris should have gotten a perfect score for her performance during judging. Cloris got up and close to the judges, putting her old ass leg up on the table, sitting in Carrie's lap and praying to the pepaw judge with the British accent. I thought she was either going to break a hip or pee pee on herself. Well, maybe she did the latter. That's what Depends are for.
When the stupid fuck judges gave her a shitty 16, Cloris got pissed and I think she cursed at the camera. They kept bleeping her out. They knew that angry old people are very unpredictable. Cloris needs to stay on this show! This is just a teaser for the kind of crazy lady shenanigans she's going to bring to this bore fiesta. Viva Metamucil!
Next up is Susan Lucci. Susan dances like a horny MILF on a shit load of painkillers and wine. She's fucking with her eyes, but her body moves so slow. I was getting "Goddess Bunny" vibes from her. That being said, she's the hottest bitch on that dance floor! And how dare that dumb bitch Carrie tell her she needs to eat more food. Erica Kane does not eat food! She eats men and drinks champagne!
Below is La Lucci's performance and above is Crazy Cloris'. Oh and my arch rival Cheryl "Mop Head" Burke still makes my eyeballs menstruate. I even had to replace my mop with a Swiffer Wet Jet, because I couldn't stand looking at it. I HATE CHERYL BURKE!!!!!! If you vote for Cheryl, the terrorists win!
I love Cloris and Susan. They moved great for their age. I love DWTS!
Submitted by putas on September 23, 2008 - 3:06pm.
Fun fact of the day: Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.
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Not true. Just a rumor that has been going around forever. She was born to Jeanette and Victor Lucci.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Susan Lucci is NOT Phyllis Diller's daughter. How did that one ever get started? But, yeah, she was working it and it was not working. I thought she was gonna have a grabber at the end. Speaking of grabbers, I caught Cloris coming out of a public restroom stall many years ago, adjusting herself, and the answer is "NO" to underwear. (Shudder)
MK, are you psychic? Cloris was interviewed on the Emmys red carpet by Lisa Rinna and talked about peeing herself at DWTStars rehearsals. Rinna even made Depends comments! Mary Hart from ET was so excited she jumped into the interview! It was piss funny!!!!!
EDITED: couldn't find that interview anywhere but found this (even better): http://www.mefeedia.com/entry/video-cloris-leachman-at-emmys/11631629/
I Loves Her!!!
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I POOP RAINBOWS
i knew cloris would be a trip. she's gotta foul mouth--gotta love her. they'll be trying to reel her in when she appears tonight...hope she's not voted off..will be the only reason to watch.
re: lucci--the second i heard she was going to join the cast, my first thought was, she can't afford to lose 1 pound let alone the 10-15 most previous contestants have.
Cloris is 82!!!!!!!!!!
She did an incredible job and looks fantastic.
dRc: really!? Wow where have you been!?
Nice 'to see' you :)
Cocoa Mocha Sugar: Lacey Schwimmer is on DWTS this season! Remember her? Benji's sister!! She's so good and HOT!
putas: I didn't know that Susan was Phyllis' daughter...Hmmmm
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"I still miss her creepy ass husband. Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I think of him getting bitten in the foot by a komodo dragon. That's funny shit. Bitten by a komodo dragon!" MK 4/7 HAHA HILARIOUS!
I thought Clitoris was going to fall down drunk last night! I was scared for her!! Miss Lucci did seem like she was on pills or something. It was like in slow mo...(sigh) But what can we do...we love this kind of entertainment as a society!! Its great! I cannot wait til tonight!!!
MK why didn't you give any warning for the goddess bunny clip. I have never seen that before and I think I scared for life and going to projectile vomit at any moment. W T F?!?!?!
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"I still miss her creepy ass husband. Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I think of him getting bitten in the foot by a komodo dragon. That's funny shit. Bitten by a komodo dragon!" MK 4/7 HAHA HILARIOUS!
Fun fact of the day: Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.
Doesn't get any better than that. Maybe if Don Knotts was her dad, maybe then.
I just watched Susan's clip. She is a pretty blah dancer. And she looks so frail and thin. I think if she fell she would break a hip! Now I have to go watch Cloris's video.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I hope I have that much energy at 82!
Chloris Leachman is, and has always been, a hot slut.
That clip makes me want to chew on some Metamucil right now!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://societysex.blogspot.com/
Marvin Gaye is somewhere in heaven yelling at God for allowing this crapfest to use his music.
Cloris Leachman is a %$*#@ hot slut! Luv that granny!
Cloris is a fucking legend. I hope to have amazing tatas like hers when I'm 82!
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I am Mexican and and I do think Michael Bay's "Transformers" is racist.
lucci is a stiff butt...and cloris is off her meds...
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if you don't want to be used, then don't be a tool...
If Mary, Rhoda, Lou, Murray, Ted and Betty were on too I'd watch.
~~ Outrageous Fortune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OawKbP6bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklclPee5KM&feature=related
Michael K, you are such a hoot! Sooooo funny:)
What's the detective show with the serial killer cop? That's got my attention.
Dexter. He's a blood spatter analyst or some shit. Awesome show. He's hot as fuck too.
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That's *Hedley*!
Lance made the gays proud, highest scoring guy!
and MAX IS BACK...which is like softcore porn for foreplay in my house, GRRRRRRRR
Team Cloris. She's a hot old slut. Remember when she replaced the old red head on Facts of Life? I remember thinking she was in better shape than all those girls. She was toned like a mutha while they were all chunked out. I'll always love her for that.
I am sooooo sick of game shows and contests I could just queef. OMG they're almost worse than golf.
The Two& ahalf Men premiere was pretty good. Fringe is way interesting. What's the detective show with the serial killer cop? That's got my attention.
Submitted by boomsy on September 24, 2008 - 12:34am.
Susan Lucci's a MAN?! Well, pinch my ass and call me Frank! I never knew!
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That's *Hedley*!
OT: Why the fuck does Fox think Yeardley Smith can sing? I can't bloody stand listening to Lisa Simpson sing.
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That's *Hedley*!
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on September 23, 2008 - 10:31am
Except it's really a man- that's the zinger.
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
So that's what a 90-year-old anorexic woman looks like.
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That's *Hedley*!
susan lucci looks like an anorexic hag with those bird legs...if she moved like she should have while dancing she would have snapped like a twig.
I want someone to click that 'Goddess Bunny' link so I won't be the only one traumatized...
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
mk, you rock. i am in the middle of a divorce but your writing is so fierce it gives me daily immunity to any shizz i have to deal with. also, your problem of eyeball menstruation makes my problems pale -- literally -- by comparison.
KKardASSian is a festering cunt. I hope she dies horribly and painfully in a disfiguring accident, so the public never has to see her giant ass in public again.
Screw Karma. I said it. I despise her.
I never watch dancing with the stars, i prefer Fox's so you think you can dance.
But seeing la-lucci was awesome. Go susan!
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"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between." - Oscar Wilde
Submitted by missy on September 23, 2008 - 10:23am.
I was happy when my BF revealed he had no clue who kim kardashian was :)
He knew Robert Kardashian and Bruce Jenner too and still no idea about KK. I felt better about the world.
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Girl, I know you're happy as hell.
My friend and I were on the phone while I was cooking the other day, and we were talking about how KK goes to all of the games to watch Reggie Bush, and my fiance' says oh so ASSuredly, "No, she won't be at his game today. She's at her practice for DWTS." If my eyes would have rolled any more, they would have popped out of my head & he would have had eyeball gumbo.
Cloris Leachman RULES. 82 years-old, and she can shake it with sluts half her age!
And she's the only woman on the show that's actually dressed like a LADY. Classy, elegant. Not dressed like a Vegas whore.
Cloris was one of the funniest broads I've ever seen. That was hilarious last night.
Also, why the Cheryl Burke hate, MK? :) She's not my favorite, either, but I was just wondering where your deep-seated hatred comes from
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Learn how to sell on Ebay!
www.tessybugsboutique.com
I freaking love Cloris Leachman. But, I worry about some of these old broads. I'm askeerd one of these days, one of them with osteoporosis is gonna high-step it one time too many and fall on their ass and break a hip!
I wanna drink with Cloris so bad it's not even funny. LOVE HER!!
If I'm addicted to anything, it's sparklers.
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All our lives we sweat and save. Building for a shallow grave. Must be something else we say. Somehow to defend this place.
I wasn't sure whether Cloris was being funny or almost senile. I agree, she was splendid at the Bob Sagat roast and she stole the show in "Spanglish" - but last night she came across as if she was totally off her rocker. It was still amusing, though.
And I had to agree with Carrie-Anne - Susan Lucci looks anorexic. Kim K's face had as much emotion as a wooden puppett. And Cheryl Burke has definitely put on some weight! ::snicker::
I'm just glad that Max is back - yum-my!
Haha; I love that Cloris beat Susan. She was SO BORING... at least I could actually watch all of Cloris' dance.
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
does anyone have the link to Cloris Leachman at the roast? all i get on youtube is a bunch of crap. thank you!
http://www.myspace.com/midsummernitesdream
Cheryl Burke is a fat ass!!!!
I finally saw 5 mins of this show.
I was bored.
The 1st kid was an ok dancer.
How did Kim do?
O and Cloris is my favorite drunk grandma (Spanglish)
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
If my lip-reading skills are correct, it looks like Cloris got beeped for calling the lady judge a shit & the middle judge a bastard.
When she grabbed the cue card & said they were too stupid to add the scores i almost pee'd myself. She was awesome!
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on September 23, 2008 - 10:24am.
I too hate Cheryl Burke's "Shields and Yarnell" hairdo. That shit was over in 1980.
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Shields and Yarnell...beautiful. :D
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The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
Cloris rocks!
MK, you promised never to mention goddess bunny again.
"hides under desk"
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
I love Cloris Leachman!!
I was a bit shocked at her age. I thought that they had said "72", not "82".
Go Cloris!!
As for Susan Lucci...can anyone say "stiff"? She moved about as much as a plank of wood.
I love Cloris! I hope she wins, but in reality they'll keep her around for a few episodes, and then drop her when everybody thinks she'll win.
I've never though these shows were legit. They let people vote, but it all comes down to the producers. I think it's going to be down to Genital Wart and whoever Cheryl Burke is with.
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That's *Hedley*!
Cloris was so funny. Love her, she won't win, but I hope they keep her around for comic relief.
Re Cheryl - she is so freakin' annoying and it looks like she's gained a few pounds, when she should be losing them. I would love to see her fall on her fat ass.
I too hate Cheryl Burke's "Shields and Yarnell" hairdo. That shit was over in 1980.
Cloris blew my head off at the Bob Saget roast....check it out if you haven't seen it. I love that Cloris doesn't give a fuck anymore, and speaks her mind completely. I don't watch DWTS, but I hope she wins it all!!!
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Visit my blog, somebody? Please?:
http://thepopulistmisanthrope.blogspot.com/
I was happy when my BF revealed he had no clue who kim kardashian was :)
He knew Robert Kardashian and Bruce Jenner too and still no idea about KK. I felt better about the world.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
EVERYONE- I don;t even watch this stupid loser show,, but I think we should all call and make sure Fat Ass Kardahsian is the first one voted out!
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I don't know what you've done to me, but I know this much is true
I wanna do bad things with you
- "Bad Things" - Theme from "True Blood"