Jessica Simpson Is Full Of Farts
The big-tittied frog performed at a benefit for the Rape Crisis Center at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas last night and what did she choose to talk about? Farts and Tony Romo! Of course. They're two of the kind.
Jessica said to People: "Tony is a great quarterback, but he's a better boyfriend. I'm seriously proud of myself for letting him into my life. Through all the chaos and torment and everything I go through, I can lay in his arms and finally rest."
Yes, please rest there forever. For-EVER. Don't move. Just stay there. Don't ever get up. No. I'll bring you water and flies. And you should be proud of yourself, Jessica. Reward yourself by staying in Tony's arms forever and ever. Honestly. That means you can't get up. Ever. I'm serious.
Jessica also went on to talk about how much Tony puts up. "I toot under the sheets, I spend a lot of money and I can belch the ABC's." Dutch ovens from Jessica? Ugh. I'm not feeling so well.
This isn't the first time Jessica has talked about her wind blower asshole. It makes sense that Jessica suffers from chronic fart syndrome. She's full of shit and air. Her asshole should probably sing her songs. I'm sure it can blow better than she can.
Here's Jessica wearing one of Marilyn Whirlwind's old ones while making a microphone cry last night.
Wenn
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Bwahahaha!! PSL, thanks for posting that and giving me a huge laugh on this boring ass Friday afternoon!!
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Amy just wanted to say she cracked Harry's potter. That didn't make any sense, but just politely nod your head and move on....
Submitted by parissucksliterally on September 19, 2008 - 2:54pm.
*experiences explosive diarrhea and vomits at the same time*
That story. Man. That story.
*cleans self up*
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
"I'm seriously proud of myself for letting HIM into my life...blah blah blah, fart fart fart"
Can she get any more annoying?!?!
Oh I so would love to kick her in the box
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Sugar Magnolia
get all the attention you can jessica, cuz when your sister's baby comes along, you'll be forgotten...as you should be...
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that's some serious meat you're packin'...
hey let's let chief eat his MEAT!!!!
GO MEAT!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygdz86_-JDc
Momus, I would have helped, but that wasn't me- I read it on Defamer's "Privacy Watch"
Believe me, if it was me, I would have ripped Kim's hair out of her head for puling that bullshit.....
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God only knows what I'd be without you....
-Brian Wilson
Wake me up when her career is over.
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People are crazy and times are strange.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on September 19, 2008 - 12:53pm.
As far as KK is concerned, not a big surprise.
BTW: Thanks for trying to help. It shows that not everyone in LA is uncaring.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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"I'm seriously proud of myself for letting him into my life."
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I'm seriously going to puke. She has the mentality of a 13 year-old girl.
Who would have thought Asslee Simpson would come off looking like the well adjusted sister? But then again, daddy isn't as obssessed with her tits.
Shut the hell up! Damn it! I mean it Jessucka, shut your fat mouth! Guess what? Romo will be dumping you shortly...because you are simply too stupid to live and he's tired of fucking you.
SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR FARTS YOU IDIOT!!!!!
I just saw this on Defamer:
TUESDAY, SEPT. 16
· So about an hour ago, 3:15 or so Wednesday afternoon, I'm going for a run along Beverly Blvd. I'm just E of Fairfax on the S side of the street when there's a pretty bad car wreck right in front of me. A westbound car turned left into the CBS gate, and a small car was gunning it eastbound in the lane closest to the sidewalk and didn't see them.
So the security guard goes to one car, I tell another car to call 911. No one is critically hurt, but we help the guy who's bleeding pretty bad onto the sidewalk. I go out into the street to stand there and let people know they have to get over cuz one of the mangled cars is sitting in the middle of the intersection.
After 5-10 minutes, I see a tow truck and a fire truck coming our way from around Fairfax, but traffic is now pretty jacked so it's slow. The tow truck is all set to come down the emergency lane when this giant black tinted Escalade looking thing cuts in front of it to pass the stalled traffic. Keep in mind the tow truck has flashers on. As the Escalade gets closer, I'm waving my hands to tell it to get over, but it won't. Then I notice the chick driving is on her cell, holding it up to her ear. I walk up to her car now, hit the passenger side door and say "get over - there's a tow truck and a fire truck behind you - there's been a bad accident."
At this point, she rolls down the window to reveal her KIM KARDASHIAN self [...] who tells me "Don't you touch my car." I thought, "Are you fucking kidding me?! there's a guy on the sidewalk with his head bleeding." I then screamed at her "Are you fucking kidding me?! There's a guy on the sidewalk with his head bleeding!!" to which she responds "I know, but don't touch my car." She finally merges into the other lane and jams it through the yellow light to make the intersection.
Isn't she sweet and selfless? Let's all applaud Kim and her deserved fame. Fucking cunt.
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God only knows what I'd be without you....
-Brian Wilson
He's 28, loaded, popular, relatively handsome...I do not get it...
There are a million big boobed blondes out there! Find one that will keep her fuckin mouth shut.
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I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down
She's getting trashier with each gas-passing moment.
Tony's gonna dump her farty ass real soon when he's tired of his team's ribbing him about her.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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This post is hilarious
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Sugar Magnolia
what the hell..girls aren't supposed to fart.
Submitted by TITS on September 19, 2008 - 3:48pm.
The horse from Equus called, he wants his teeth back.
*laughs until coffee comes out of nose*
Thank you thank you thank you!!!
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
"I'm seriously proud of myself for letting him into my life. Through all the chaos and torment and everything I go through, I can lay in his arms and finally rest."
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Countdown to Tony either getting caught screwing a stripper in Vegas, or just dumping Chestica publically in 3, 2, 1...
additional: Chestie admits to sleeping with a MAN (other than her daddy)? And she's NOT MARRIED?! *GASP*
Keep it up opening your piehole about your boyfriend bitch - your days with him are numbered anyway.
What an absolutely ignorant twit-twat.
LMAO! that main picture made me histerically laugh. Wow, I seriously hate this cunt and her nasty farting ass! Along with Twit and Twat, this hillbilly should go to somewhere very far away!
I like this outfit on her mainly because her fat titties are covered up.
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Rumpletweezer ran the Dinky Tinky shop in the foot of the Magic oak tree by the wobble dum dum tree in the shade of the magic glade down in Dingly Dell. Here he sold contraceptives...
The horse from Equus called, he wants his teeth back.
BITCH WE KNOW YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND A GAS PROBLEM. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DIE!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"