Thursday, September 18th 2008
Like The Skank Cares!
Wonky McValtrex was reportedly "devastated" after finding out two of her pooches were murdered by coyotes last night. A source told X17.com (via NYDN) that Wonky has been crying all day long.
They really want me to believe that this nasty skeezer actually shed a tear? Can tears even come out of her wonk eye? Please. When Wonky was told that her dogs went to heaven, she probably shrugged it off, removed the crab that was feeding off one of her herp warts, got into her fugly car, drove to the pet store and bought two replacements! Or maybe she didn't notice at all. There's at least 17 dogs living in that bitch's house. Herself not included.
The poor pooches were probably trying to get away from her skanky ass.
I wish she'd been left outside and eaten by coyotes! No wait... poor things probably would've gotten e coli......
This is old news, but I have a 70lb Boxer, and I don't even let her outside unless I am, at the very LEAST, standing in the doorway watching her. Anyone who would let a small dog outside without proper supervision is a retard, and should not be entrusted with any other living creature. Can you imagine if this had been a CHILD? I can totally see Parasite leaving her kid outside to be eaten by coyotes...she's just that worthless. Fuck her.
Shit, if you live in a place with coyotes, WHY WOULD YOU NOT HAVE A GUN? Oh wait, I forgot, she lives in the Socialist Republic of California, where people are not allowed to own firearms to defend themselves...they have to rely on the police. The same police that the Supreme Court ruled have NO DUTY to protect you from harm and/or a horrible death. Yeah....jackasses. Shit, I have concealed carry, and DO carry (or if I'm not, my husband is), and if a coyote tried to attack me or my dog, it would get a bullet between it's eyes. But then again, I'm a responsible pet AND gun owner, and I hope and pray to never have to use a gun to defend myself or my dog's life, because I try to keep myself out of situations that could result in death or serious injury. Yeah, what a load of nonsense, huh? The very IDEA of being a responsible pet owner is insane! I hope Parasite gets torn apart by coyotes. And nothing of value would be lost.
Another online source said this is not true.
What a fuckin asshole. I mean a fuckin stupid bitch. I have 2 chis and for some fuckin reason I have NO PROBLEM keeping them in the fuckin house till I put them on a fuckin leash to take them out. Chis NEVER want to be outside alone so OBVIOUSLY someone was NOT watching these dogs. Isnt it about time they investigate this bitch and no allow her to buy any more fuckin animals? Bitch is EVERYWHERE but home how the fuck can she have all these dogs and random exotic animals. I fuckin hate this bitch and I hope to God that one day I see her in NYC cuz I will deliver an ass whoppin like no other. I will be sure it is a Grade A ass whoppin so MK can post about it here on DListed. Thats. My. Word. Fuck Paris. Shit about animals dying or being abused makes me so heated. Ugly fuckin C^N*.
'We have a special need, to feel that we belong so come with me inside, inside my velvet rope.'- Janet
Umm, maybe you should just have a nap the next time you feel the urge to post one of these hate-filled diatribes.
That made for very uncomfortable reading.
Frightening.
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Are we sure Xtina has not passed on and her final request was to be embalmed standing up holding a bottle of her nasty perfume?- DivasGone
She should have all those poor animals taken away
Between two evils, i always pick the one i never
tried before.
paris news sucks
see how was sarah palin email hacked on
www.entertainroom.com
Why were her dogs outside anyway?
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Submitted by Better Off Dead on September 18, 2008 - 3:01pm.
Submitted by Clarisse on September 18, 2008 - 5:56pm.
TITS,
It will happen. I told someone in a meeting that i'd cut a bitch for the last Diet Coke.
sometimes, to mask my shame, I will tell a story you guys tell in here irl, and say "a girl at work told me the funniest thing today..."
888888888888888888
hehehheehe
Do they ever ask you about this girl at work?
Tell them her name is Michelle.
Poo poo: Look, life with wonky really sucks.
Pee pee: We could try to make a run for it.
Poo poo: What about the coyote?
Pee pee: Which one?
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"Submitted by parissucksliterally on September 18, 2008 - 9:11pm.
I'll bet she brought the coyote home as a pet! Fucktard that she is."
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I hope she brings home an entire pack, and that they are VERY hungry. And mean.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 18, 2008 - 6:40pm.
I thought you were gonna say "I still watch my dog like a hawk."
I crack me up.
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That's a good one!
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on September 18, 2008 - 8:58pm.
They should have eaten Paris then.
I'll bet she brought the coyote home as a pet! Fucktard that she is.
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Those crazy nights, I do remember in my youth
I do recall, those were the best times- most of all....
-Journey "Stone in Love"
I wish coyotes would tear Parasite's body to shreds.
Fugly. Noveau. Rich. Loser.
I.hate.this.ugly.selfish.bitch!
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 18, 2008 - 9:31pm.
____________________
If by 'redeem' you mean 'eat', then I'm a pro!
Submitted by speakit on September 18, 2008 - 8:27pm.
I have a disco afro wig and a bench vise, good enough? I work cheap.
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I think we can work something out--how are your girl scout cookie-redeeming skills?
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 18, 2008 - 9:21pm.
Submitted by speakit on September 18, 2008 - 8:14pm.
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I'm thinking a call to the Acme company and a search for an uber-intelligent coyote are in order.
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I have a disco afro wig and a bench vise, good enough? I work cheap.
Everyone knows you don't leave tidbits like those dogs of hers out unattended in her area! What an idiot. I wish the Animal Control people in LA would take ever animal she has away!
Submitted by speakit on September 18, 2008 - 8:14pm.
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I'm thinking a call to the Acme company and a search for an uber-intelligent coyote are in order.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Wyle E. should drop an anvil on Wonky's head.
Why can't a coyote come along and kill Wonky McValtrex? *sigh*
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Shit on a shingle. We went soooooooo long without a Parass post I thought she might be gone for good. God, if they could just accidentally run her over and contain the resulting explosion of crabs and herps the world would be so much better of a place.
@ Salem13: bravo! wish I could have said it so succinctly.
Submitted by Misty on September 18, 2008 - 8:57pm.
According to People.com, none her pets were murdered by coyotes.
I still hate her though.
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oh good to know, thanks -- now on the other hand, wouldn't it have been a sweet headline if it was "Paris murdered by coyotes" instead :)
And although I feel for the poor little dogs, there's been severe encroachment on once-open country in CA. Coyotes are gorgeous wild creatures; saw a documentary recently about them on Animal Planet. It's their home humans are encroaching on, and I wish people would just keep it in perspective that that's the way of the wild: wild animals must eat, and we are on their natural habitat. That's why this skeeze is responsible -- make sure as best you can that your dogs are indoors and taken care of.
According to People.com, none her pets were murdered by coyotes.
I still hate her though.
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"Paris Hilton is like a bowling ball: she's picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter." - von3248 (1/12/08)
"murdered by coyotes"
Murdered really? Its a wild animal asshole its probably having to constantly move from its natural habitat because people building/buying
muti-million dollar homes, malls, etc. Its not the animals fault your a shit pet owner.
I feel bad for those dogs but the only "murder" here is Paris Hilton.
oh please -- more like they wandered off looking for food because this disgusting imbecile forgot it was the maid's night off and the coyote's made a meal out of them.
Too bad those the dogs couldn't lead the coyotes to Paris's house. Oh wait, do coyotes eat rancid meat?
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺c
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything. ~Kurt Vonnegut
Submitted by BellaDiva on September 18, 2008 - 5:16pm.
My goal in life is to punch this bitch in her face
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The line forms on the right! Take a ticket and get in line.
:)
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Tony Montana: You know what? Fuck you! How about that?
My goal in life is to punch this bitch in her face
Submitted by Tristram on September 18, 2008 - 5:08pm.
What were the lapdogs doing: roaming the hills in search of game? Shouldn't they be inside by the TV?
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Minch's feet have NEVER touched an uncarpeted surface.
GWAD forbid.
Wool carpets, none of that shit cheap ass nylon crap neither.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Tony Montana: You know what? Fuck you! How about that?
What were the lapdogs doing: roaming the hills in search of game? Shouldn't they be inside by the TV?
what a stupid twat!
I can't say bitch because that would insult dogs more. ***********************************************
Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Submitted by leslovelabialovelust on September 18, 2008 - 6:52pm.
I think this is truly tragic, not because I feel sorry for Paris, but those poor puppies! I don't, however, agree with the other commenters who said it must have been the result of negligence. A few months ago my full grown Golden Retriever and I were stalked by a coyote coming home from a walk.
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I'm glad that your dog is OK. The difference is, you were actually walking your dog. Paris on the other hand, was probably at the Ivy, pretending to talk on her iPhone, while her dogs were wandering around unattended.
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What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
this story is bullshit... everyone knows coyotes only go after roadrunners
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"When the fat old sun in the sky is falling,
summer evenin' birds are calling.
Summer's thunder time of year.
The sound of music in my ears."
I think this is truly tragic, not because I feel sorry for Paris, but those poor puppies! I don't, however, agree with the other commenters who said it must have been the result of negligence. A few months ago my full grown Golden Retriever and I were stalked by a coyote coming home from a walk. Those guys are brave! It got within about 15 feet of me and and when I tried to scare him he just cocked his head the side and looked at me like I was a lunatic. I'm pretty sure he was sizing my Golden up for dinner. While it's unlikely a Coyote will get inside my fence, I'm still terrified one will manage to wiggle his way under and eat my 13 week old Golden puppy. You can't lock your dogs indoors all day and night...
Mischa Barton sicced the coyote on Wonky but the coyote, having better sense, took out her poochies instead.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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The doggie suicide theories remind me of the Stupid Spoiled Whore episode of South Park where Parisite's dogs find ways to kill themselves, like stabbing themselves or manuevering a gun in order to shoot themselves. Then Parisite keeps a postmortem photo album of all her pets that she "loves" so much. I have a feeling that storyline may be more accurate than I realized!
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
Those poor dogs probably hurled themselves over a cliff. And I don't blame them
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Maybe it was dog suicide
(perhaps they could no longer live w/ Paris anymore)
PS: I am only joking
How the fuck did that happen? I have two small dogs, & I would never leave them alone outside, especially at night. Is that fucking bitch retarded? Wait, don't answer that. That bitch needs to have a federal injuction served against her to keep her from owning any more animals. To her, they're nothing more than accessories to compliment her shoes & outfit. Dumb cunt. I hope *she* gets eaten by coyotes. No one would miss her, & the world would probably be better off without her. At least the reported incidences of herpes in California would go down drastically.
Submitted by TT99 on September 18, 2008 - 6:37pm.
I hope you're right
Submitted by Aunt Bea on September 18, 2008 - 3:17pm.
I thought you were gonna say "I still watch my dog like a hawk."
I crack me up.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Tony Montana: You know what? Fuck you! How about that?
Is anyone buying this shit? Her assistants hate her and are obviously playing a joke on her. They probably stole the dogs, sold them Ebay, then fed her this coyote story just to make her cry. They are reading this on TMZ and laughing their asses off in the servants quarters. I would do the same shit, she seems like a cunt.
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell
Submitted by KashmirIsis on September 18, 2008 - 6:29pm.
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LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! :P
I swear if I ever run into this ho on the street she will get my chancla in her face. Poor pups : (
What can Brown do for you?
At the moment I have six dogs with me. Only three are mine. Two are fosters, one is a family member's. We have coyotes around here too. Like, tons of them. And yet I manage to get six little dogs, all under about 10 pounds, out several times of the day and night to do their business and I haven't lost one yet. Yeah, coyotes can get dogs, but you really have a fucking piece of shit lazy ass moron to let that happen. So I'd say it fits right into what we already know about her. It's a called a fucking leash. Maybe she could buy a few. We know she isn't spending her money on things like charity or underwear.
she's an irresponsible ditz.poor puppers.
;) :) :O =) :P :( :\ :D