Charity Starts At Home
Brit Brit and her family have donated to the Promises Foundation in L.A. an autographed portrait painted out of automatic transmission fluid and Pennzoil 30W motor oil. Joking. It's an oil painting done by Daniel Maltzman. How sweet, bitches couldn't write a check?!
The auction started out at $10,000 on eBay, so bid with confidence! If you got the coins to buy this piece of American history, get your ass to eBay. Winning bid will also receive choices of a case of WD-40, a box of 12-gauge shot gun shells and/or a year supply of beer nuts.
Pictured above is Brit Brit standing next to the glamour shot. The painting includes a letter of authenticity from Daddy Spears (who more than likely will be promoting in the near future, a boxing match between himself and Adnan), which states: "I hereby verify that the portrait of my daughter, Britney, has been in our home since it was completed by the Daniel Maltzman Studio."
What?! Bitch, you need some fucking glasses!
Next thing you know she'll be signing pictures of Vladimir Putin and passing them off as herself and selling them on eBay for $50,000. If the artist really wanted to make the picture more convincing, he should have painted a bag of Cheetos or a Frapp in her hand, hell even a picture of her dropping a baby out of her arms. Something!
You know what, I'm gonna start taking the pictures out of frames at Wal-Mart and signing them and selling them as myself on eBay. Bidding starts at $1.00 with a low reserve.
P.S. - Is it just me or does it look like a crow is pecking at her eye in the painting? She probably has a few Cheetos crumbs in there and he's getting himself a little snack.
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Nice to see she all this free time to tan herself and pose like moron. The kids cut into her tanning time.
Oh, it's for charity! Well, there you go. She's such a giver.
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 14, 2008 - 4:55pm.
they don't make snakes big enough to cover those beefy arms.
seriously, I've had two kids, I'm older than her, and I'm nowhere near that beefy, I though she was hitting the gym?
Hahaha! That snake would look like a slug on her gargantuan carcass now! Albino slug.
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Eddie: If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, "Heimlich maneuver," and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say "Heimlich maneuver" when you're choking to death.
what in oil paint??? It should have been done whit cheeto dust and Frapps ,that would have been a art
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
they don't make snakes big enough to cover those beefy arms.
seriously, I've had two kids, I'm older than her, and I'm nowhere near that beefy, I though she was hitting the gym?
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Yeah, let's go paint with oil and sell it and start a trend when this NONRENEWABLE resource has already reached it's peak!
FUCK NO
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Brand, Jen, and Angelina sing about love
http://youtube.com/watch?v=baSNJpfpjbE
Sad.
Honestly, just sad.
If you want a few backs, just go to Vegas to perform with an albino python around your neck again.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
I have a backyard full of truffles for Bloatney to burrow for.
Submitted by El Bastardo on September 14, 2008 - 10:47am.
OMG IT TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE A CROW PECKING AT HER FACE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
@El Bastardo: Hah! I didn't notice that! Pure coincidence, I swear! ;)
P.S. - Is it just me or does it look like a crow is pecking at her eye in the painting? She probably has a few Cheetos crumbs in there and he's getting himself a little snack.
Nope, not just you....THE BIRDS!!!
Xuriel, what is your avvy doing on Brits face? :o)
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Eddie: If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, "Heimlich maneuver," and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say "Heimlich maneuver" when you're choking to death.
Suck it in Bloatney!
beefy in real time here looks like she was dipped in arby sauce. mmmmmm, beef in arby sauce.... drooollllllll like Homer.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Well the artist got her saggy boobs right at least. And what in honeycomb hell is up with that dress??
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Translation: The Spears family got rid of an embarrassingly bad painting that didn't look like Britney at all.
My guess is that the artist had that painting hanging around the studio and decided to call it "Britney" and get some free publicity.
when was that picture taken? She looks fat, and I don't think she is fat at all.
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I had to break the window, it just had to be
Better that I break the window, then him or her, or me
-Fiona Apple "Window"