Faith Dealer By Day, Coke Dealer By Night
Holy cokey! Reverend Christopher Layden, a catholic priest, has been arrested and charged with selling coke from his church office and rectory. 33-year-old Chris was busted on Wednesday at St. John's Catholic Newman Center on the University of Illinois campus in Urbana. The cops were able to catch him thanks to a little help from an "informant." Jesus works in mysterious ways.
Cops confiscated three grams of coke during their search of his rectory. But did they search his rectum?
Fox News reports that Chris pleaded not guilty to "two counts of delivery of less than 1 gram of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a church and one count of possession with intent to deliver 1 to 15 grams of cocaine near a church." The charges are more severe because he committed the crime on church property. His bail was set at $50,000. The Catholic Diocese of Peoria has suspended him.
I wonder what Rev. Chris' confessionals were like? "Forgive me father for I have sinned.....and can I get half a gram?" Rev. Chris would respond, "Say twenty Hail Marys and
And do you think Rev. Chris blessed the coke? That's a selling point!
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We are all sooooo silly today I LOVES IT!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
my bro and I weren't raised with any particular religion, but he married a catholic girl, and of course the wedding HAD to be in the damn church. So he had to PAY to take classes to get into the church, then PAY for his (whatever) ceremony, then PAY to have the wedding there (with a tip for the padre), and later PAY to have their daughter get baptized. The bite was, other than the ceremonies and to drop off the checks, he never set foot in the place!
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
Submitted by missy on September 12, 2008 - 11:07am.
boobyberrys I love your crazy ass!
AND I LOVE YOURS!
MWAH!
I know I'm nuts, and I am very fucking proud of it, cause at least, I'M NOT AN IGNORANT =D
See my point missy? We majority of Dlisters are nuts.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
Submitted by LoLo on September 12, 2008 - 12:12pm.
Jesus Mary Larry and Joseph
Jesus Mary, Leave Josepehheisjustapoorcarpenteryouneedtomarryadoctor!
Tee Hee hee!!!
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"Ooo, those goody-goody Smurfs make me sick!"
Jesus Mary Larry and Joseph
Jesus Mary, Leave Josepehheisjustapoorcarpenteryouneedtomarryadoctor!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
what IS the L for?_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I thought it was only the Muslims who didn't use their left hands cuz it was supposed to be the one they wiped their ass with?
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
I enrolled my son in catholic school during his 2nd grade year. I had heard great things about the curriculum and decided to give it a shot. He hated it. He said the teachers were mean. And they treated him different because he wasn't catholic. He would get points taken off his work if he didn't use the heading JMJL! Jesus, Mary, Joseph but what is the L for? to this day I don't think he knows.
Long story short it was a waste of money! they didn't teach my kid anything different except religion and how catholics are always right and every one else is wrong lol!!
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"Ooo, those goody-goody Smurfs make me sick!"
boobyberrys I love your crazy ass!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
yeah, thanks PSL, this is fucking funny as hell!
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
YMAtT!
Yikes!!
I mean, if i put my head up my ass and spin around enough, i can almost see, in their fucked up minds how things like homosexuality or sex outside marriage is wrong, but WHAT HAND YOU WRITE WITH???
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I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.
They made me sit on my left hand, hit it with rulers/pointers when I would write. Most lefties write overhand. I don't. It was too noticible. Brought on hate. PLUS, I was the only child of a divorced mother in the entire school. Had no dad ever... CURSED!
I hated those witches!
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Thanks, ANGEL! I love my Sarah Gollum!
Ew! Looks like he accidentally snorted his chin. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with spicing up services a little. I like putting joints in the collection tray but hey, that's just me.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 12, 2008 - 1:32pm.
I KNOW!
Fun Fact! Moses said the same thing but it could not fit on the stone tablets and he had to hurry up and run casue his bush was burning!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 11:41am.
Barstool Sports is a kick ass mag :)
funny shit!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
get the f out! lmao
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
Submitted by LoLo on September 12, 2008 - 12:01pm.
I would like to share with you all a passage from the Book of John that has gotten me through some hard times.
John 32.25.33
Thou in time of trouble need not despair. Eat it, snort it, lick it, fuck it all to the Lord on high. Amen.
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That's my favorite passage.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Doesn't surprise me one bit! U of I is brimming with coked-up Chicago kids. This priest is sitting on a pretty pile of cash, trust me.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
what's that around the reverend's neck? looks like a straight jacket...
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that's some serious meat you're packin'...
hey let's let chief eat his MEAT!!!!
GO MEAT!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygdz86_-JDc
Submitted by Clarisse on September 12, 2008 - 11:55am.
DebFrmHell!!?!?!?!
Being left handed was frowned upon??? Fuck those Jesus Chrispies are NUTS!!
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Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!
Poor Deb probably got the bruised knuckles. I didn't have it so hard--I was a left-handed girl raised Jewish.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 12:58pm.
blame it on global shrinkage?
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Teeheee...
I hear George Costanza's voice in my head yelling, 'I was in the pool!".
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The long hot summer just passed me by.
YAY! PSL!
Thanks for sending MK this! I am having a great time recalling those "catholic" daze!
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Thanks, ANGEL! I love my Sarah Gollum!
I would like to share with you all a passage from the Book of John that has gotten me through some hard times.
John 32.25.33
Thou in time of trouble need not despair. Eat it, snort it, lick it, fuck it all to the Lord on high. Amen.
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I'm turning Catholic. I can get head, drugs, bingo, and salvation...all in one stop. Catholics rock.
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"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
Is he in a straitjacket?!
ΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨ
Skanky whores always think that looking sexy means looking like you're getting double-penetrated. -Michael K
Submitted by PlayaSlaya on September 12, 2008 - 12:54pm.
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Catholicism more or less started out as a governing body with God as it's monarch, in theory. At one time, nuns were little more than ho's for priests. They DID have sex. At what point that changed, I don't know. In essence, Priests and nuns are married to the church. So it's not that they are abstaining as much as they can't have sex with who they are married to, at least that's my understanding.
I attended parochial schools too. I didn't have many bad experiences, other than reluctance for answers when I questioned the church.
@Jethro11: ;)
Since we're somewhat on the topic of phallic symbols, I saw this earlier:
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/09/11/penis-iceberg.html
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blame it on global shrinkage?
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
Playa slaya they aint all fucked up! Just lie a bunch of them are. Nuns and Priests are married to the lord and they took a vow of no naughty touching cause the only touch they want is the Jolie Spirit to touch their.... wait fo it....HEARTS!
I am not a practicer of any religion though i was held in a head lock and forced to pick a stupid saint and decalre my self at 13 with our confrimation shiz. My dad made me pic St. Veronica and that bitch was so borring. I wanted joan of arcadia cause she talked to herself a lot.
She reminded me of my nana that way!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by PlayaSlaya on September 12, 2008 - 10:54am.
I'm not catholic, i don't really have a religion, but why are the catholic priests so fucked up? pedophilia is bad enough. These priests are the main people that you should be able to trust. is it because they aren't supposed to have sex? why are all priests usually single? is there a law that says you can't be married and be a priest?
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Yeah it's against doctrine for a priest to marry. In my personal opinion, it's 1)wrong to deny any human being sexual contact and 2)pedophiles choose this kind of profession to be near children. They(the priests) are effed up to begin with. They don't become pedos, they are pedos who choose to be near kids.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
Submitted by LoLo on September 12, 2008 - 12:52pm.
Booberries what would those priest do when you stood up in the middle of mass?
In our parish it was fine for the priest and nuns to play wack a mole on your knuckles for even breathing wrong near the altar!
I was always backhanded by Sister Agnes in 2nd grade for picking my nose. Deviant that I am, I really pushed her over the edge, when I started eating it......
guaranteed graduation to 3rd grade......
oh, so no "thanks" for sending you this story MK?
sheesh.....lol
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"I explained to them... 'Mom and Daddy run about naked all the time and we taped some things... and someone stole the tape.'"
-Pam Anderson to her sons
I'm under a lot of pressure too, can I sell my ass? cause the money would really help out.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
The sanctuary is now the meth lab...
And they are passing the pipe at communion...
The make their deals in the confessionals...
Baptisms require a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20...
Church is definitely more interesting that when I got excommunicated!
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Thanks, ANGEL! I love my Sarah Gollum!
here's some realism to go with your religion...
The religious types are always saying that prayer will help get you through a bad situations. Well according to the way they think, wouldn't it have been GOD that put them in that situation in the first place?!?!?
If something good happens, it's god's will. If something bad happens, 'he works in mysterious ways.'
Hey if it makes you feel good, do it, more power to you. But don't try to sell me a friggin bill of goods and judge me based on your fucked up values.
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
DebFrmHell!!?!?!?!
Being left handed was frowned upon??? Fuck those Jesus Chrispies are NUTS!!
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I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on September 12, 2008 - 12:48pm.
@The C Word!
HAHAHAHAHA on the playground!
First thought is that finally the guy is doing all the work and the lazy bastards are spitting out 5yr-olds!
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Haaaahaaahaaa....!!
@Jethro11: ;)
Since we're somewhat on the topic of phallic symbols, I saw this earlier:
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/09/11/penis-iceberg.html
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The long hot summer just passed me by.
Submitted by LoLo on September 12, 2008 - 10:52am.
In our parish it was fine for the priest and nuns to play wack a mole on your knuckles for even breathing wrong near the altar!
wow times!
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ROTFL You're all crackin my fekkin ass UP!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
I'm not catholic, i don't really have a religion, but why are the catholic priests so fucked up? pedophilia is bad enough. These priests are the main people that you should be able to trust. is it because they aren't supposed to have sex? why are all priests usually single? is there a law that says you can't be married and be a priest?
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"Ooo, those goody-goody Smurfs make me sick!"
NOT A SHOCKER, THESE 'PRIESTS' ARE EITHER SELLING DRUGS, STEALING PEOPLE'S MONEY OR RAPING LITTLE BOYS THE CHURCH IS A FUCKING JOKE!!
Submitted by Tristram on September 12, 2008 - 12:49pm.
Father Layden has been under a lot of pressure recently.
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Are you trying to give him an excuse?
neverland, lmfao! that was awesome!
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 12, 2008 - 12:41pm.
I attended parochial school and had to attend mass 6 days/week (M-F at 7:00, followed by religion class, plus Sundays)
Mass was in Latin.
i wonder how many priests are cokeheads?that priest who told me to hurry up in confession, was so mean....uhmmm. :)
;) :) :O =) :P :( :\ :D
Booberries what would those priest do when you stood up in the middle of mass?
In our parish it was fine for the priest and nuns to play wack a mole on your knuckles for even breathing wrong near the altar!
wow times!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Eurgh, the Catholic Church is a sham and with any luck it will collapse in on itself under the pressure of its own hierarchical neuroticism.
People like this believe themselves to be the God that they claim to worship.
Narcissistic cunts.
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Are we sure Xtina has not passed on and her final request was to be embalmed standing up holding a bottle of her nasty perfume?- DivasGone
Father Layden has been under a lot of pressure recently.
@The C Word!
HAHAHAHAHA on the playground!
First thought is that finally the guy is doing all the work and the lazy bastards are spitting out 5yr-olds!
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Thanks, ANGEL! I love my Sarah Gollum!
LOL! Isn't that Neverland Ranch?
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
Submitted by DebFrmHell on September 12, 2008 - 10:41am.
I always thought that was a myth (i'm too young for some stories!)..my god!
You would have loved me even more if you'd been there with me, Deb.
attending mass was mandatory (twas cool missing classes for some twats, not cool for me) and you wouldn't even imagine how many times they threw me out of every fucking ceremony for standing up in the middle of a sermon and debating whatever priest we had 'churching' that day.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 12:41pm.
off topic but funny as hell...
http://www.barstoolsports.com/randomthoughts/2008/09/12/worlds_
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LOL! Isn't that Neverland Ranch?
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The long hot summer just passed me by.