Faith Dealer By Day, Coke Dealer By Night
Holy cokey! Reverend Christopher Layden, a catholic priest, has been arrested and charged with selling coke from his church office and rectory. 33-year-old Chris was busted on Wednesday at St. John's Catholic Newman Center on the University of Illinois campus in Urbana. The cops were able to catch him thanks to a little help from an "informant." Jesus works in mysterious ways.
Cops confiscated three grams of coke during their search of his rectory. But did they search his rectum?
Fox News reports that Chris pleaded not guilty to "two counts of delivery of less than 1 gram of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a church and one count of possession with intent to deliver 1 to 15 grams of cocaine near a church." The charges are more severe because he committed the crime on church property. His bail was set at $50,000. The Catholic Diocese of Peoria has suspended him.
I wonder what Rev. Chris' confessionals were like? "Forgive me father for I have sinned.....and can I get half a gram?" Rev. Chris would respond, "Say twenty Hail Marys and
And do you think Rev. Chris blessed the coke? That's a selling point!
ShareThis
Only to the devout did he sell unto.
Thou shalt not deal the devil's candy on consecrated ground.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
Submitted by JeffreyDahmer on September 12, 2008 - 2:03pm.
Faith is nothing.
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No, hunny. Faith is half of everything.
Religion is nothing.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Faith is nothing.
Submitted by iHeartHaters on September 12, 2008 - 11:55am.
Minute Rice.
=(
and after writing my last post, I now want to have an OOBE. They're fun =(
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 12, 2008 - 11:49am.
LMAO dude...long-grain or minute rice?! LOL jk:P
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
I searched J.M.J.L. + latin and that brought up an article, that linked to another article, that linked to another one and I'm not posting all of it but the initials are linked to the latin title of Zacharias Chrysopolitanus, the first headmaster of a Catholic school.
So... Jesus Mary Joseph Lucy must've been a way for kids to remember the acronym. I guess. Don't quote me.
no worried, C-word, I was just going to comment that somebody pilfed your big frozen dick for another post...LOL
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
Submitted by iHeartHaters on September 12, 2008 - 11:39am.
it's FINE. I love your avvie it's like a free high. I can enjoy it without convulsing and honey, no need for disclaimers.
See my avvie? it keeps me from having to replay to ignorant cunts. Such as yours might send them into some sort of OOBE and realize what idiots they are and maybe they will change some day.
On another note, I just looked at myself in the mirror and I discovered a stupidly long gray hair.
I AM FUCKING 22, I HATE YOU GENETICS!
I'm a redhead. Very dark shade of. And I usually dye it black (cause I'm Casper white and it looks pretty -and scary) I DON'T WANT TO DYE MY HAIR AGAIN, I HAVEN'T IN THE LAST 18 MONTHS! And I just got a new haircut (btw Canada's prices are ridiculous..I never paid more than 20 bucks for a haircut, which translates into 7 dollars, this one was 60!) and its the cutest bob ever. Motherfucking aging issues.
In the confusion and being so upset about my gray hair I decided to make coffee. I got my measuring cup, and a new filter ready, and i turn on the coffee maker, only to find out that I put a fucking CUP OF RICE ISNTEAD OF COFFEE.
Someone shoot me, please.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
Lucy is Eve...first woman...lol.
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Thanks, ANGEL! I love my Sarah Gollum!
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 1:45pm.
I'll give you that point, cuz I don't know shit about religion.
But if I'm going to pay every day to go in somewhere and worship, I'll take my money to the nudie bar. :-)
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Hey the nudie bar is your church of choice. I'm down with that :)
Submitted by speakit on September 12, 2008 - 11:41am.
Jesus, Mary, Joseph and Lucy
I'm not joking. Google jmjl + jesus
who the hell was lucy?
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Linus' mean ass big sister
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
Jeffro11!
Ok...then when the boss walks by say "Is it plugged in? Is it turned on?"
Oh man....here i go...Random Izzard moment!!
Right, I’m phoning Amsterdam, you bastard! Hello, Amsterdam- you speak very good English, well done!
Bordered by four countries, I know… Yeah, a lot of problems in land work… Yes, I’ve got a Macintosh computer plugged in to a Cannon bubble jet printer, and… Yes’ I’ve been into the Chooser- into the Printers File, and chosen “Cannon Bubble jet Printer…” Yes, I’ve been to the Chooser file and chosen Printer Port, which is the same as the fax-modem port, which confuses the fuck out of me… I’ve chosen A4 paper instead of toilet paper, yeah, I know that… I’ve chosen the picture of the dog standing straight up instead of the dog lying on the side, it’s got a problem, the taxidermist had to go early- what the fuck? It’s five in the morning! It will not print out! There’s something definitely wrong with the… There’s an “ON” switch on the printer, is there?”
Sorry folks...i do that sometimes...
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I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 1:45pm.
I thought you had to leave so on your behalf, I submitted your "global shrinkage" comment for "Caption This".
Hope you don't mind (I did credit you for it)...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The long hot summer just passed me by.
Submitted by missy on September 12, 2008 - 1:44pm.
lucifer!!!
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LOLOLOLOL!!!
lucifer!!!
edit : cause there cant be good without evil! makes sense to meh
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by LongIslandLolita on September 12, 2008 - 1:42pm.
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With the exception of Pre-Cana, it's probably like this with most Christian Churches. In fact, to attend a Temple you have to pay a fee every year to be a member. You have to pay whether you go every day or just on the high holiday. It was your brother and sis in law's choice to just use the Church for Sacraments and not actually attend. I hate when people try to demonize the Catholic Church about being just money, when nearly every other religion is the same way.
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I'll give you that point, cuz I don't know shit about religion.
But if I'm going to pay every day to go in somewhere and worship, I'll take my money to the nudie bar. :-)
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
Submitted by Clarisse on September 12, 2008 - 1:38pm.
Jeffro,
I'll call you on your work line! We will just sit there all day and when our bosses walk by you can say something military and i will say something like "Line-Down" or "Air Freight"!!!
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Sounds good but I'm not in the military anymore...they don't let people get away with such fuckoffery, bless 'em. Now I'm a Tech Support Engineer, spend most of my day waiting for people to call and bitch about this or that. Makes for some long days.
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
Lucy in the sky with diamonds?
show she is an angel with bling?
booger bling?
whaaaaa?
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 1:15pm.
my bro and I weren't raised with any particular religion, but he married a catholic girl, and of course the wedding HAD to be in the damn church. So he had to PAY to take classes to get into the church, then PAY for his (whatever) ceremony, then PAY to have the wedding there (with a tip for the padre), and later PAY to have their daughter get baptized. The bite was, other than the ceremonies and to drop off the checks, he never set foot in the place!
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With the exception of Pre-Cana, it's probably like this with most Christian Churches. In fact, to attend a Temple you have to pay a fee every year to be a member. You have to pay whether you go every day or just on the high holiday. It was your brother and sis in law's choice to just use the Church for Sacraments and not actually attend. I hate when people try to demonize the Catholic Church about being just money, when nearly every other religion is the same way.
Jesus, Mary, Joseph and Lucy
I'm not joking. Google jmjl + jesus
who the hell was lucy?
at least he is not a PEDOPHILE.
can you say UPGRADE.
it could have been worse.
Right on weenie! Chunk & Sloth rule BTW:)
Boo, sorry bout your eyeballs, I keep forgetting to apologize about the avvie...didn't mean to make ya convulse or anything LOL Maybe I should add a disclaimer in my sig, heehee!
Ah shit - I haven't laughed so GD hard since well...since the last time I logged onto DL!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
Yeah i got a calling from god once.
It was 4:00 a.m and he was drunk asking to come over.
slut!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Missy,
Cheese DOES fuckin ROCK!!!!!!
Jeffro,
I'll call you on your work line! We will just sit there all day and when our bosses walk by you can say something military and i will say something like "Line-Down" or "Air Freight"!!!
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I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.
Well Deb, this is the best I can come up with since they are about to rule the world.
I hope I don't get murdered or kidnapped for revealing the secret....
Joseph
Mary
Jesus
Lafayette Ronald Hubbard!!!!!!!!
*THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE*
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
Submitted by missy on September 12, 2008 - 12:30pm.
It can only mean what we've all known all along, clarisse,
that CHEESE is SUPREME!!!!!!!!!!!
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Gorgonzola!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
I am so humiliated! Uncle Chris, how COULD you? We told you tell sell it out of your car, not the church! You have brought shame on our fambly!
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
we all know this creep won't spend any substantial time in the chokey. Catholic priests are historically not held accountable to the same rules of society the rest of us are. They are sooooo special because they have a "calling" from their god. The whole organized religion and their associated politics make me sick to my stomach. Rant over...
ya'll are some funny fuckers on here...it's hard to find people with the same sick sense of humor that I tend to have...NICE TO MEET YA!
Now if my boss will stay off my friggin back, I can have some fun! LOL
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
I couldn't even get the google to tell me it is...LOL. The are a secret evil society, I tell ya!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7XnxuFgWb0&feature=related
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Thanks, ANGEL! I love my Sarah Gollum!
It can only mean what we've all known all along, clarisse,
that CHEESE is SUPREME!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Jesus, Mary, Joseph and Limberger???
What? What? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????
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I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.
LOL DEB you're awesome xD
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
LIBERACE!!! *falls of chair & pisses herself*
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
Submitted by lara on September 12, 2008 - 11:21am.
Sorry sweetie, my eyes are deceiving. is that an l or a weird capital i?
Cause if it is an i i will be highly freaked out =D
thanks!
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
hee hee heeee!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
You're all fuckin hilarious today(okay well EVERY day). I am laffin so hard! Jeffro's on F-I-R-E. I love reading about all this Catholic fuck fuck fuckery. They are one truly effed up organization. It makes for good readin though!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
Jesus, Mary, Joseph and Liberace!
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Thanks, ANGEL! I love my Sarah Gollum!
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 12, 2008 - 12:23pm.
I remember some priest telling me I wasn't really married cause it wasn't catholic, pffffffttt.
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Ha! To retaliate I would've told him that he wasn't really a priest because god doesn't exist!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Wow, I go to lunch and this thread comes up with a million comments.
I'm not going to judge this guy. Being a pastor doesn't pay what it used to. Nobody tithes anymore, so he's gotta make a living somehow.
Dramaqueen: I am pretty far inland, but we will still get lots of rain and wind. There is a creek behind my house that floods, so that scares me. Check your myspace.
Submitted by lara on September 12, 2008 - 1:51pm.
We were asking in the other thread when you said orthodox... orthodox what?
Read my siggie!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I remember some priest telling me I wasn't really married cause it wasn't catholic, pffffffttt.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Submitted by speakit on September 12, 2008 - 12:17pm.
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lol, that's a good point--but do you think she's ALWAYS been DebfrmHell, or did the horrors of Catholic school instill that belief in her? Hmmmmmm.....
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Submitted by LoLo on September 12, 2008 - 12:38pm.
Is this what lara meant when she said she was an orthodox catholic? Bwaaaaaaaah ha ha ha!
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what the hell(!!!) are you talking about? i said i was orthodox.
CTH and DebFromHell....you're welcome! This was too good a story to not send in!
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"I explained to them... 'Mom and Daddy run about naked all the time and we taped some things... and someone stole the tape.'"
-Pam Anderson to her sons
When I land in hell, I hope I get a seat next to Sam Kinison:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSwG9Tojg9I
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 12, 2008 - 1:16pm.
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Yeah but she's DebfrmHELL.. with a name like that she brought it on herself. :P
Clarisse--I think because the left hand was considered the devil's hand, but that's just superstition, really. I mean, I've been writing with my left hand my whole life, and I've been responsible for absolutely no evildoing except for five religious wars and the destruction of NYC's unemployment office.
Deb--the skewed logic that it's wrong to write with your left hand yet it's acceptable to hit a child's hand with a hard object when they write with their left hand is mind-boggling.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Submitted by LoLo on September 12, 2008 - 10:52am.
Well, LoLo.
I hope you have time for this.
My school was kinda like this, there was another school like 5 blocks from it and they opened at the same time and one was for boys, the other one for girls. My school was initially for boys and it was run by priests (surprise surprise) and the other one was nuns and girls. One day both schools got married (?) and they started admitting both sexes blah blah. For the first few years I attended it priests were in charge, and it was a fucking joke. Then administration took over and the church had to go hush hush for a bit until they started their fucking dictatorship again.
But they love free speech and shutting up a student in Argentina is a huge sign of repression and abuse so they can't say a word. PLUS I was (am) mentally unstable and with a heavy background but I was (not for all good and pretty things) the star of the school and the brainy bitch and the opinionated cunt (but with a cause). And the most memorable thing in mass that got me 3 weeks in school counseling was standing up in the middle of mass calling the priest a liar over 'God does things we think are bad to us because it's his way of saying 'you've been bad'" And I said 'that has to be the biggest piece of bullshit i have ever heard in my life or i will spend the rest of my life blaming that asshole of a God you have for having killed my mother when I was 2 years old and could not be blamed of anything else aside from pissing my panties, unless you're gonna tell me you believe in past lives than I will call more bullshit for wanting me to buy that you are catholic" and then he wanted to cite the Bible on me and i called out more bullshit telling him that was the part catholics made their own and I started citing what they call the apochryphal scriptures on his ass and he almost had a heart attack.
And they took me back to the classroom, let me do my thing cause i was having a rage fit and cussing everyone for feeding us kids bullshit.
And that's all they did. Oh and the 3 weeks of counseling trying to make me love God, when in reality is BULLSHIT and not God I have a problem with.
SORRY EVERYONE, EDIT
I forgot to mention that the whole school was OOOoooOOooOOooOOoOoo for defying the church...oh PUHLEZZ fuck off..
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos