Faith Dealer By Day, Coke Dealer By Night
Holy cokey! Reverend Christopher Layden, a catholic priest, has been arrested and charged with selling coke from his church office and rectory. 33-year-old Chris was busted on Wednesday at St. John's Catholic Newman Center on the University of Illinois campus in Urbana. The cops were able to catch him thanks to a little help from an "informant." Jesus works in mysterious ways.
Cops confiscated three grams of coke during their search of his rectory. But did they search his rectum?
Fox News reports that Chris pleaded not guilty to "two counts of delivery of less than 1 gram of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a church and one count of possession with intent to deliver 1 to 15 grams of cocaine near a church." The charges are more severe because he committed the crime on church property. His bail was set at $50,000. The Catholic Diocese of Peoria has suspended him.
I wonder what Rev. Chris' confessionals were like? "Forgive me father for I have sinned.....and can I get half a gram?" Rev. Chris would respond, "Say twenty Hail Marys and
And do you think Rev. Chris blessed the coke? That's a selling point!
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I have a friend who works in a waxing salon.
9.00am - Jim Smith, wax BCS - Back, crack 'n' sac.
Submitted by LoLo on September 12, 2008 - 3:29pm.
shit i edited this because i posted the wrong tiny elvis clip!
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HA! my best friend and I had this HUGE thing for tiny elvis!!
"I'm Tiiny Elvis!!"
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
im going to go sit on someones face now!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I used to just play around with the outside of my ex's butthole, and I guess he liked it, but I never stuck my finger in. My current boyfriend is not into it, as far as I know. He's never asked for any hole stimulation. Thank god.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by missy on September 12, 2008 - 4:27pm.
just want to clear my good name I AM SINGLE!
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My apologies, missy. Go forth and come. :-P
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 1:23pm.
but sometimes a guy just has to soldier on.
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you are a real trouper!
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Y HALO THAR. HAS U HERD TEH GUD NEWS BOUT CEILIN KAT?
oh what fun Ive had with the dlisted sluts today!!!
but now, its DRINKING TIMES!!!!!!!!! oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah
meet me at the bar you fools!!!♥
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
If you ever run out of K-Y jelly, DO NOT substitute Smucker's!
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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.
shit i edited this because i posted the wrong tiny elvis clip!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Ew. Ew ew ew. The thought of poop chute fingerage is gross. I've never done it but I don't even want to think about it. Getting poo stuck under your nails... *URK* Ass-grabby is fun though! It's squishy and gives you something to do with your hands if you're too busy concentrating with your mouf.
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I'm so happy and scared to be here.
just want to clear my good name I AM SINGLE!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 12, 2008 - 3:23pm.
I was afeared of that.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
I am married. Unfortunately due to some health issues with the wife, I'm on the bench. So I now just pass on my wisdom to those less fortunate.
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
@Clarisse: Pfft! I can't help that I'm curious! xP I was just wondering because, unlike a lot of guys (so I've been told) after peeing he doesn't shake shake and then put it away, he shake shakes and then dabs with toilet paper. I can always tell when he forgets to. o_O
SO. I was wondering what stanky vajayjay is like. xD
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I'm so happy and scared to be here.
Y'all, I'm seriously excited about trying the butt cheek grab technique. I may try it tonight! I'll report back on Monday if it makes him cum fast or not.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
FatMartha:
No, I went to a private all-denominational school because I wanted to fuck all the religions one sect at a time!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://societysex.blogspot.com/
Stoney--I think she means you are supposed to stick your finger up the guy's poop shute while you are sucking his Little Elvis.
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Y HALO THAR. HAS U HERD TEH GUD NEWS BOUT CEILIN KAT?
Submitted by FatMartha on September 12, 2008 - 4:19pm.
@Jeffro11: THAT'S AMAZING. But what happens if she's a wee bit on the unclean (i.e. STANKY) side? What do you do in that situation? Just out of curiosity.
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Depends on how drunk I am! LOL
But I honestly haven't really been with a woman that's let herself get to the STANK phase. Some times maybe they're not so fresh, but sometimes a guy just has to soldier on.
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
Marfa!
No! Bad Marfa! No unclean units! THis is a happy BJ thread. It's Get Laid Friday for heavens sake!!!
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I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 12, 2008 - 4:15pm.
So now I have to add bagina waxing to the sea salt scrub, the mud wrap, the aromatherapy, the hot stone massage, the energy balancing, the heller work, cooling coconut sugar scrub & mango enzyme body wrap, the chi alignment, the chakra cleansing, the reflexology, the cranium cradling, the glycolic grape peel, the Mukhralepa Indian bridal facial, the warm seaweed body wrap, Shiro Dhara forehead & scalp treatment and life purpose hand analysis for couples? Sorry I so not thave that much jam!
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LMAO! How do you clean your chakra? Brillo pad?
Submitted by missy on September 12, 2008 - 2:17pm.
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 3:16pm.
... I've adopted the tactic of staying down on a woman until she comes at least 3 times.
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DATE ME?!?!?!?!
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I married your kind as well, Jeffro. but he counts up to seven. (I got skillz)
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
Jeffro aint you married?
AHHH WOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
You need to go to the confession booth and buy some coke right now!
I need a smoke!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
yeah, Jeffro, where do you live? lol
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I like coffee and I like tea- but to be able to enter a final plea...I still got this dream that you just can't shake- I love you to the point I can no longer take
-Blues Traveler "Runaround"
Jeffro11
LOL!! Is that the 1st, 2nd, 3rd orgasm bases and Home is the peen? Nice!
Mrs K.,
You are a natural beauty. Pudge on the other hand....could use a little trimmin i'm sure...
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I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.
@Jeffro11: THAT'S AMAZING. But what happens if she's a wee bit on the unclean (i.e. STANKY) side? What do you do in that situation? Just out of curiosity.
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I'm so happy and scared to be here.
"Usually anything willy adds after that is gravy."
Now, HOW MANY PUNS are intended on that line, Jeffro?
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
HAIL MARY!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by missy on September 12, 2008 - 4:17pm.
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 3:16pm.
... I've adopted the tactic of staying down on a woman until she comes at least 3 times.
**
DATE ME?!?!?!?!
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I seem to recall you mentioned being attached? But feel free to think of me next time! :-)
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
TheBreakdown! You was a Catholic school ho! Noice.
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I'm so happy and scared to be here.
I guess I do that, too, Marfa, but the ass grabbing is just by default because I must move my hands out of the way to go deep. Perhaps I should be more forceful with the grab? And we're talking just butt cheeks, right? Damn, I can't believe I've gotten through ten years of sucking dick without this technique. *hits forehead* My girlfriends suck. (pun intended)
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by LoLo on September 12, 2008 - 1:13pm.
i hate when i mix up my rosary and my anal beads!
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I though they were the same thing.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Y HALO THAR. HAS U HERD TEH GUD NEWS BOUT CEILIN KAT?
Submitted by Jeffro11 on September 12, 2008 - 3:16pm.
... I've adopted the tactic of staying down on a woman until she comes at least 3 times.
**
DATE ME?!?!?!?!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I've been told size isn't that big a deal, but just in case I've adopted the tactic of staying down on a woman until she comes at least 3 times. Usually anything willy adds after that is gravy.
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
_Submitted by xxyxz on September 12, 2008 - 4:44pm
HA HA HA HA!
OFF OFF TOPIC My hair smells amazing right now and im not sure why! The hair on my SCALP tyvm!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I always thought rosary and anal beads were one in the same. At least that's what I was told while I was committing sin #_____ in a Catholic parking lot.
Goddamn knee socks!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://societysex.blogspot.com/
Submitted by Stoney on September 12, 2008 - 2:59pm.
I've been told I'm a magical sucker, but I must know, what is the grab ass trick?
Usually I'm too busy using my hands to massage balls and stroke the shaft when he tells me to...
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*ahem*
*looks around awkwardly*
My guy likes it if I go deep-throat and ass-grabby at the same time. *blushes bright red*
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I'm so happy and scared to be here.
Submitted by missy on September 12, 2008 - 12:58pm.
mrs k - grooming is now so common, its looked upon as gross if you have hair.. personally i cant stand it, as if I need another expensive beauty treatment to keep up with..
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So now I have to add bagina waxing to the sea salt scrub, the mud wrap, the aromatherapy, the hot stone massage, the energy balancing, the heller work, cooling coconut sugar scrub & mango enzyme body wrap, the chi alignment, the chakra cleansing, the reflexology, the cranium cradling, the glycolic grape peel, the Mukhralepa Indian bridal facial, the warm seaweed body wrap, Shiro Dhara forehead & scalp treatment and life purpose hand analysis for couples? Sorry I so not thave that much jam!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Y HALO THAR. HAS U HERD TEH GUD NEWS BOUT CEILIN KAT?
TITs
If you have something to say ... Just tell me
*hummmph*
Shaves underarms and puss!
:) jk
hmmm girthy
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by LoLo on September 12, 2008 - 2:12pm.
YES, YES THEY ARE.
I married one =D
sorry. I'll shut up now.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
i hate when i mix up my rosary and my anal beads!
BREAK DOWN TIMES! Howdy!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by TheBreakdown on September 12, 2008 - 1:11pm.
You sluts have really gone overboard with the sex talk today.
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honey, I'd rather talk sex than poo.......MUCH more interesting!
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I like coffee and I like tea- but to be able to enter a final plea...I still got this dream that you just can't shake- I love you to the point I can no longer take
-Blues Traveler "Runaround"
thick cocks are from heaven
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
You sluts have really gone overboard with the sex talk today.
Goddamn Catholics!
I wanna be an altar boy. Someone dip some hot wax on me!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://societysex.blogspot.com/
if its too big and i said this before as well
3 hours to get it hard, 30 seconds to watch it sink in despair
long cocks are unnatural, sorry.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
http://www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
About size,
It doesn't matter, but it helps!
On the other hand, if you are over 8 inches
Get away from me
if its too big thats not good either!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Size matters, if you can't feel it go in. Otherwise, yes, it is what they do with it.....my guy now is not huge in any way, but he does the job well....
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I like coffee and I like tea- but to be able to enter a final plea...I still got this dream that you just can't shake- I love you to the point I can no longer take
-Blues Traveler "Runaround"
I dont like those curly fries from Arby's.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
RE: Size
Any metric sizes will work with the right machinist. The larger sizes though will lock down the machine.
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I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.