Thursday, September 11th 2008
Katie Holmes Is Rollin'
The good hos at Gawker have pointed out that Katie Holmes' latest "look at me" jeans were obviously made to be worn at a RaVe. I have to agree. All she's fucking missing is a pacifier, glowsticks, dozens of beaded bracelets and a Cookie Monster backpack. Been there, done that. I'm surprised I still have my hearing after spending hours with my ear pressed up against the speaker, trying to "roll" with the bass. So fucking stupid.
Anyexctasy, here's Stepford Katie shuffling around NYC today. I'd rather she go back to tight-rolling her shit. And I think Tommy Girl is hiding in her bag.
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There's trouble in Tommyland bitches! But you best be keeping it to yourselves lest you get James Haven in a heap of doggie doody!
Katie told James Haven that she is tired of Sir Tommy watching her every move. She said the last straw was when he put camera's in the little girl's room. She put toothpaste on the lens but Sir Tommy had rigged another camera and microphone behind the toilet paper dispenser!
Sir Tommy is worried that Katie is going to make a call for help. How does she talk to James Haven, you ask? It's simple: Sir Tommy trusts James Haven. Over Margurita's one evening, Sir Tommy told James Haven that he and J.T. spent a night of unbridled passion on a beach in Bora Bora. He made James Haven promise he would never tell and James Haven has never told a soul. That is until now, but James Haven trusts you crazy bitches! Sir Tommy said it was wonderful and "you never really live until you feel the waves hit your butt." He said the only drawback was a "sandy ass". He said it took hours to get the sand out. Nasty!
James Haven never told anyone Sir Tommy's secret. Not even when Angie tried tickling James Haven while Brad held him down. James Haven knows how to keep a secret.
Now you bitches know the reason why Katie is so dour lately. To be honest, this bitch has never looked happy.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by Sandbitch on September 11, 2008 - 10:49pm.
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Huh?
Okays, kanga's aren't that fond of people to go in houses. They are ornery creatures and they'd sooner tear your scrote than steal bread from the larder. One has to treat them with respek.
The last time I visited Australia Zoo was just before Steve succumbed to nature. Fucking ray...anyways -
Steve and Terri were in the croc area and for the life of him ! Steve couldn't coax the big daddy croc out of the enclosure. Terri was on the public address system and said "Steve, I think we might have to bring out the baby". Standing ovation.
I miss Steve.
Hey Sandbitch - got any of those running lizards that lose their tails when frightened? Water dragons methinks.
You've got such cool stuff down there.
Submitted by speakit on September 12, 2008 - 12:46pm.
Where's Sandbitch?
I want an Aussie story. Like do kangaroos ever get in people's houses? Or, has she ever met Wes at the Australia zoo? I bet he's nice.
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Oh fuck. That'll teach me for opening my fat mouth. You got me stumped, speakit.
@speakit.
mmmm flapjacks. with maple syrup and bacon. mmmmm.
I may try cornmeal pancakes next time, they sound a titch less unhealthy.
LOL SANDBITCH! There you are!
Where's Sandbitch?
I want an Aussie story. Like do kangaroos ever get in people's houses? Or, has she ever met Wes at the Australia zoo? I bet he's nice.
Submitted by angel_i on September 12, 2008 - 12:34pm.
Submitted by speakit on September 11, 2008 - 10:21pm.
@angel
Oh you're right, I'm ashamed. You are the reason I come here, angel. You are the ink to my tattoo. You are the cherry on my sundae. You are the reason there is good, and I am lowly to forget you.
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Ok then. As long as we're clear on the matter.
Carry on.
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Apt response Angel. Very apt. Isn't it delectable when people grovel?
Submitted by angel_i on September 11, 2008 - 10:34pm.
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But I was crossing my fingers when I typed that. BWAHAHAHA Who has the L on the forehead now? I know, me.. shut up.
Submitted by Mr. President on September 11, 2008 - 10:31pm.
And besides, what could possibly be more exciting than Katie Holmes' jeans?
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This one eyebrow hair I'm trying to pluck with my bare fingers.
Holy shit, angel. You must not like Britney. HAHA. I don't know how long you've had that avie, but I'm super slow so I just noticed today.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by speakit on September 11, 2008 - 10:21pm.
@angel
Oh you're right, I'm ashamed. You are the reason I come here, angel. You are the ink to my tattoo. You are the cherry on my sundae. You are the reason there is good, and I am lowly to forget you.
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Ok then. As long as we're clear on the matter.
Carry on.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Speakit, MK will make you clean up the sausage spices from the floor and walls. And besides, what could possibly be more exciting than Katie Holmes' jeans?
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
LMAO TITS! oh that's it betch.. from now on I'm calling you Flapjacks.
Submitted by speakit on September 11, 2008 - 7:21pm.
@angel
Oh you're right, I'm ashamed. You are the reason I come here, angel. You are the ink to my tattoo. You are the cherry on my sundae. You are the reason there is good, and I am lowly to forget you.
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and the lube on your pyrex ASS dildo.
HAH MADE YOU LOOK!
Submitted by Balenciaga Bitch on September 11, 2008 - 7:20pm.
Submitted by Karma Police on September 11, 2008 - 5:32pm.
Hey BB! This bag seriously costs $40 k??? This bitch is such a waste.
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durrrrrr uh. I paid $40.00 for a backpack from mec last winter. That's my bag.
These purses (large and small) that women are carrying around are ridiculous. Either you're breaking a shoulder or condemned to always hold on to the little ones in case you lose it.
No one wants my beat up backpack and it doesn't wreck my shoulders or back.
Stewpid women. These bags are as bad as watching them teeter totter on 6 inch heels.
Mr. Prez-
Do you think MK will make me wash and wax the blog? I'm not detailing. I've seen how nasty you people can get around here. :P
TITS- I couldn't read that. I have virgin eyes.
No really, I've never had a dick in my eye.
heehee speakit....
hello Balenciaga, angel and Mrs President!
I probably have a pair of jeans like that waaaaay back in my closet somewhere.......no way am I digging them out.
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Your friends seem to think that you're so peachy keen; My friends say neglect is on your mind- who's right?
-Janet "What Have You Done For Me Lately?"
@angel
Oh you're right, I'm ashamed. You are the reason I come here, angel. You are the ink to my tattoo. You are the cherry on my sundae. You are the reason there is good, and I am lowly to forget you.
Did you buy any of that?
@PSL- dammit, stop being rational. I have to blame someone! If MK really cared, he'd be out starting trouble or fukkin celebs or something. MK can take it.
Submitted by speakit on September 11, 2008 - 7:10pm.
MK, no offense, but this was like the most boring day ever on your site. I KNOW I contribute to the boredom but you're supposed to be better than that.
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oh I dunno about that. The anal sex bead thread was jumpin earlier.
*blush*
Submitted by Karma Police on September 11, 2008 - 5:32pm.
Hey BB! This bag seriously costs $40 k??? This bitch is such a waste.
the small ones like a briefcase are around 20,000.00 so think about the size. Alligator ones Ive sen go for 40K easily. honestly? I' m pretty much hip on the bag scene and Ill be pretty sure it is maybe even 50K or more.
The thing that makes me sick, is that she looks like a wanna-be-teen-Posh-fashion-groupie.
She has NO fashion sense at all. All she does is try pathetically to follow trends, and her dickhead fake hubby funds her bank account to buy everything so they can be the jokes of the fashion world.
Off topic....How the HELL is my LEROY??? Ill catch you on MS. I left you my email addy so we dont have to go thru MS. I dont check it much at all. Sorry~
I wanna see pics of the BOY!!!
xoxoxox,
BB
**She looks like a pure skankasswhoreslutskeezybitchhocumrag**
MK~ 07/01/08
Speakit, when I was a kid I once made the mistake of telling my dad I was bored. He said "I'll give you something to do..." and I ended up spending the weekend cleaning the garage and pulling weeds from the garden. Never again.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
speakit darling, if nothing is happening, how can MK make it exciting? ya know?
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Your friends seem to think that you're so peachy keen; My friends say neglect is on your mind- who's right?
-Janet "What Have You Done For Me Lately?"
What a sad (and poorly dressed) girl.
I cannot help but think of those big eye doll black velvet paintings I sometimes see being sold at flea markets.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Submitted by speakit on September 11, 2008 - 10:10pm.
MK, no offense, but this was like the most boring day ever on your site. I KNOW I contribute to the boredom but you're supposed to be better than that.
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HEY NOW!
So not fair. It couldn't have been the most boring day. *I* was here, silly!
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
MK, no offense, but this was like the most boring day ever on your site. I KNOW I contribute to the boredom but you're supposed to be better than that.
well I can buy some Rustlers and a box of Hefty bags for under 15 bucks... and I still won't be a Stepford wife. I WIN, ROBOKATE!
Karma Police:
*pulling my hair out* ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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Whatever happened to Barbado Slim?
Submitted by gucci on September 11, 2008 - 8:15pm.
Karma Police:
how much do you think she paid for the pants? if its over $100 i will scream and pull out my hair!
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Aren't those SPS (?) jeans or whatever $250-$350? Maybe that's what she is wearing.
Thank god, we haven't has a Katie Holmes pants update in days. Slow news day?
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
By end of day she's picked up every germ, sticky cig butt and spit..on the hem of each leg.
Karma Police:
how much do you think she paid for the pants? if its over $100 i will scream and pull out my hair!
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Whatever happened to Barbado Slim?
arrrgh. Just looking at the size of that bag makes me wanna drink. but again no money no fun. damn her. she is nothing.
http://www.myspace.com/chirispanks
what has katie got against a belt?
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so pretty. so fat. so sad!!!
That is a HUGE bag!!!!!!!!! She can almost fit her HUSBAND in the bag.
a Birkin starts at approximately $7500 , not including sales taxes, but can reach 5- and sometimes 6-digit prices, particularly when the bag is constructed from exotic animal skins.
This bag is kind of big but it does not have some of the most exotic animal skin, so maybe it goes around $15,000 to $ 25,000 which is still alot for a bag
They are also considered investment alot of people buy then and then sell then in ebay for three times the price.
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
Submitted by gucci on September 11, 2008 - 7:02pm.
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That is disgusting! Her fucking accessory is about a year's salary for me. Oh the crap rich people waste their money on...
40 thousand dollar bag and all- bitch is still ugly.
Submitted by Triscuit on September 11, 2008 - 8:14pm.
Submitted by speakit on September 11, 2008 - 7:03pm.
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I actually went to 2 meetings today.I feel good but shakey and nervous about tomorrow.
Thanks for looking me out!♥
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Honey, I am so glad for you. I don't even have to know you to be proud of you. That's alright, be nervous and shaky, but keep on keepin' on. TEAM TRISCUIT!!
Submitted by D.R. on September 11, 2008 - 8:00pm.
LOL@stagger around
Submitted by Tigerlilly on September 11, 2008 - 6:55pm
To be fare Napolean wasn't actually short. It's a myth. He was average height for a Frenchman back in the day.
Submitted by speakit on September 11, 2008 - 7:03pm.
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I actually went to 2 meetings today.I feel good but shakey and nervous about tomorrow.
Thanks for looking me out!♥
Well bellbottoms are supposed to be coming back into style. *shudder* I don't think I've worn bell bottoms since I was 7 (this was during that 90's revival).
Aren't UFOs and all those other "rave" pants coming back a little too early? I thought there had to be a 10-20 year gap.
I thought 'rolling' was rolling up the hem of your pants?
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
Karma Police:
I'm going to where katie is and snatch that damn bag off of her lololol!
40k for a friggin bag? that amount of money is a down payment on a friggin house or would pay off ALL of my student loans! he he i'm on my way!
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Whatever happened to Barbado Slim?
Is that all she does these days, wear those horrible pants and stagger around?
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Well said, Tigerlilly. She needs to do something about that mop. She only has one kid with plenty of maids. It's not like she doesn't have the time to make a little effort.
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Say there was a fart pay it forward... if someone paid forward an egg fart to you, would you only be able to pay forward egg farts or could you pay forward cheese farts and chinese food farts?
This post brings me back to a time full of Vicks, heated cars and vaporizors.
Oh Katie...Give it up, you will never be a fashion icon or start a new trend. Joey Potter? Maybeish...Mrs. Tomthumb Cruisin'? Certainly not... Yeah, you don't have the body for it, you don't have the "it" or "wow" factor, that often worn, obnoxious smirk on your face does not translate as confidence, just undeserved arrogance, and that soccer mom hair IS THE WORST!
No matter how many times you slice into your nose, or wear fugly sunglasses, or smirk next to your Napoleonic husband, you will always be Joey Potter playing dress up (in my pack-rat slightly senile grandma's closet) and tryna to make it work...I give your efforts in life an F-...
Ps. Tiny Tommy Girl should TOTALLY play Napoleon in a period piece! Awesome casting! (He might have to wear lifts, though...)
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
the interesting thing about her jean choices is that it proves she must keep up with the blogs and press about her. why else would you reach into your closet and stroll out in those things unless you needed the attention. she's probably scouring the internet right now to see what sort of press her latest pair of jeans have generated.she needs to wear a pair of very gay Levi's 501s with the bottom button left undone.(to mean she's available, of course)