Stalker Eyes
Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Pitt were in Toronto at around the same time this past weekend. Can't you tell? It's obvious Jenny is scanning the land for any sight of Brad in one of his silly hats. She can probably smell his aroma nearby so her stalker eyes have gone into overdrive. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like they ever met up.
The Sun claims they had cocktails together. UsWeekly claims they didn't. I don't think they did. We would definitely know it. If it happened, Jenny would leap through the streets of Toronto in her lucky granny panties, singing about how she's got her man back. Then lightning would strike her because....well....Saint Angelina knows Zeus personally. I think he owes her a few favors.
Despite, not running into Brad, things are "great" for Jenny. She told People, "Things couldn't be better." I'm sure she said that while grinding her teeth and digging her nails into her thighs.
Here's our favorite cat lady at the TIFF premiere of her movie "Management" last night. I also threw in some pictures of Billy Goat Pitt at the TIFF premiere of "Burn After Reading" on Friday night.
Bauer Griffin, Getty, Wireimage
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@Sandbitch,
I couldn't help it - That line had be rollin'!
*smooches back*
~♥~Xtina, obey gravity - IT'S THE LAW!~Sandbitch~8/9/08~♥~
Keeps Getting Better
THE NEW SINGLE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O9G3JB8FG4
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 9, 2008 - 7:43am.
I just thought I'd pass on a Kizzy quote to bring a little sunshine to everyone's day (in regards to boogers):
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Just where in Carmen San Diego is that little Kizzy slut?
Who ate Kizzy, c'mon own up. I'll kick you over a cliff.
Submitted by NovaNightly on September 8, 2008 - 5:40pm.
which part? She and Brad obviously didnt discuss future when they married....then 5 years in she was still wanting to concentrate on acting and he...well....he had other ideas. Sooooo...I say either make sure you BOTH want the same things, or dont get married. He wanted kids....period. She had other ideas....so his wandering eye...wandered into greener and more fertile pastures...lol.
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I meant the part when you said she should have sacrificed her vagina and give him what he wanted to keep his worthless ass happy.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Nova, I was so projecting before when I said "I can guarantee you she styles her hair with plenty of product, blowdrying and flat ironing."
OY. :)
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Real life on the interwebs, I can't even begin to make that shit up.
I can however exploit it for a laugh at their expense.
Submitted by Stoney on September 8, 2008 - 4:46pm.
Jeus fucking Christ MK, would you quit calling this poor woman a fucking stalker because her husband was a mother fucker and cheated on her? Fuck you piss me off the way you assume she's a dried up psycho cat lady because she's single. Give me a goddamn break.
Submitted by lara on September 8, 2008 - 4:50pm.
i am so sick of this stalker bs. get new material pls. it's lame
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ITA, MICHAEL K, you’re loosing your writer’s touch or maybe you just didn’t have any to begin with! You’re beginning to sound like a broken CD, repetitive and desperately boringly reaching! It’s been 3yrs and numerous threads on Jen and you still can’t come up with new/better /original materials than the same old tired Jen bashing to get hits.
Gosh, there’s no need for you to continue with the desperate, pathetic and stalker Jen BS every time you have a thread on her. You’re way too hilarious and a blogging legend and as far as I’m concerned the best blogger, enough without the Jen bashing. You’re still going to get hits anyhow, that’s how good I believe you are. Sheesh, I give you more credit than this, than Perez etc.
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Blessed are the meek/boring/compassionate Bible bashers without sin and the God/Jesus lovers; for they shall inherit the earth.
Wow. God knows I'm no brangiloonie (god forbid), however the Jenloon love happening here at Dlisted lately is starting to get insanely out of hand. I think its time for me to find new pastures to play in for a while.
Have fun everyone :-).
OT: No comment for fear of bringing out the jeniloonies and brangiloonies.
Bring back snarking for all! lol
I just thought I'd pass on a Kizzy quote to bring a little sunshine to everyone's day (in regards to boogers):
"Had that person just waited a little longer, that could've been a Rembrandt, but they went with premature pickings, so they will have points deducted from their score, for early withdrawal."
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 8, 2008 - 2:38pm.
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Too true. My hair has always been stick straight...so i love to give it curls once in awhile. Those i know with beautiful wavy/curls always want to spend hours straightening it. Go figure.
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And now for something completely different...
I love it she is the new Christina 'Tina' Onassis, never the true love, always some substitute. sad
I don't buy the "jenny is a stalker", MK. She was the one who filed for divorce, right?. Anway, it's odd how Angelina Jolie looks so much busted than Aniston if she's supposed to be younger for about 10 or so years.
I don't think Aniston gives two shits about Pitt anyway.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
ah alright. thnx. nighty nite
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on September 9, 2008 - 7:05am.
Sandbitch, do you like my new sig?
~♥~Xtina, obey gravity - IT'S THE LAW!~Sandbitch~8/9/08~♥~
I just saw it DAE! I feel so temporarily immortal. Wait Wait, I feel....A FLOURISH!
*smoochaayyy*
===========================
Some days I'm a super bitch
Up to my old tricks
But it won't last forever
Next day I'm your super girl
Out to save the world
And it keeps getting better
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 8, 2008 - 2:36pm.
Submitted by NovaNightly on September 8, 2008 - 5:34pm.
Aniston should have just kicked out a few babies and kept brad happy. IMO. Her movie career hasnt done shit for her anyway. :D
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........... that was a joke, right?
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which part? She and Brad obviously didnt discuss future when they married....then 5 years in she was still wanting to concentrate on acting and he...well....he had other ideas. Sooooo...I say either make sure you BOTH want the same things, or dont get married. He wanted kids....period. She had other ideas....so his wandering eye...wandered into greener and more fertile pastures...lol.
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And now for something completely different...
SkinnyMarfa! Me likey. Okay bye all! *fart* Oh sorry.
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Keep on keepin' on.
For all you haters, it's....Bible In a Minute!
mystery
That first pic is from 30 Rock. It's from earlier in the week when she was shooting the stalker scenes. Nova was the only one of us that noticed!
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Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 8, 2008 - 2:34pm.
Submitted by lara on September 8, 2008 - 5:30pm.
i've asked this question on another thread a while ago. i'll repost as i am curious to know the answer:
Why the women brangeloonies love angelina after what she did??? and hate jennifer so much??? i don't get it. someone enlighten me pls
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Because Angelina is a saint and can do no wrong and Jen is just a jellis h8er.
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Because her and Brad's love...was meant to be.
It was kismet, fate, they are soulmates and nothing, not even the bonds of holy matrimony could keep them apart.
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Prepare for Metamorphosis, are you ready Kafka?
She does have stalker eyes...hell, if I had formerly been married to Brad Pitt I would stalk him with every inch of my being. Hey did you catch the cover of some rag claiming that there is FIERCE competition between Angie and Brad Pitt vs. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Angie totally bests Katie in that dept though. Brad and Tom would go head to head, but in Tom's case he'd probably reach Brad's chest...and let him stick the tip in!
Your face!
Submitted by Stoney on September 8, 2008 - 4:46pm.
Jeus fucking Christ MK, would you quit calling this poor woman a fucking stalker because her husband was a mother fucker and cheated on her? Fuck you piss me off the way you assume she's a dried up psycho cat lady because she's single. Give me a goddamn break.
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ITA! i'm sick of that too!
Submitted by mystery on September 8, 2008 - 5:38pm.
Helloooo?? Will someone please answer me? why is Jen passing a gun to somebody in the first picture? Please tell me so I can go to bed.
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Because she's hired a hitman to knock off Angelina. Sleep tight!
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by NovaNightly on September 8, 2008 - 2:34pm.
Ya see, it's like I always say...it's all about perspective. I have wavy, voluminous, naturally messy hair and I am told constantly that people pay good money to give their hair body like mine, and all I want is straight shiny hair.
The grass is always greener.
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Prepare for Metamorphosis, are you ready Kafka?
Helloooo?? Will someone please answer me? why is Jen passing a gun to somebody in the first picture? Please tell me so I can go to bed.
Bye SkinnyMartha!
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Ok, Jen is trying too hard to look happy.....
And Brad was later seen Mouthing
the Words *HELP ME*
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
Submitted by FatMartha on September 8, 2008 - 5:35pm.
@LCT: ahaha. Okay good point. EDITED: Can you imagine the [suicidal diary entries]? They would be fucking EPIC[LY SAD].
"OMG I CANT BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED THEY WERE SO PUERFECT OMG ITS JENS FAULT OKAY WOW NOW I GOTA GO ANGIES SOUL IS WATITING FOR ME IN HEVEN."
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I CAN'T LIVE IN A WORD FULL OF LISE ABOUT ANGIE! SHE ONLY LUVED HIM AND WORSHEPPED HIM AND GAVE HIM BABY'S AND THIS IS WHAT HE DOSE TO HER? BRAD AND JEN DESURV EACHOTHER. THERE BOTH JELLIS LOOSERS.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
I still find her about as exciting as belly button lint.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Oh man, I wish I had time to go mess with some people on JJ but unfortch I have to go to dinner and then night class (philosophy, BLAH!!!)
Ta, lovelies!! xoxo <3
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Keep on keepin' on.
For all you haters, it's....Bible In a Minute!
Submitted by NovaNightly on September 8, 2008 - 5:34pm.
Aniston should have just kicked out a few babies and kept brad happy. IMO. Her movie career hasnt done shit for her anyway. :D
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........... that was a joke, right?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by Stoney on September 8, 2008 - 10:30pm.
Bye!
~♥~Xtina, obey gravity - IT'S THE LAW!~Sandbitch~8/9/08~♥~
Keeps Getting Better
THE NEW SINGLE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O9G3JB8FG4
@LCT: ahaha. Okay good point. EDITED: Can you imagine the [suicidal diary entries]? They would be fucking EPIC[LY SAD].
"OMG I CANT BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED THEY WERE SO PUERFECT OMG ITS JENS FAULT OKAY WOW NOW I GOTA GO ANGIES SOUL IS WATITING FOR ME IN HEVEN."
******************************************
Keep on keepin' on.
For all you haters, it's....Bible In a Minute!
FatMartha on September 8, 2008 - 5:30pm
Real life on the interwebs, I can't even begin to make that shit up.
I can however exploit it for a laugh at their expense.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
Well Mrs K...im not saying she doesnt do anything to her hair...its just that she doesnt do ENOUGH. It could have more volume and some fuller curls that would really give it life. BUT...she remains to me a sort of dullish-plain-color-wearing-limpy hag. *shrugs*
When it comes to marriage...hollywood types should just stay away from it. Their jobs are just too demanding and seem to always cause major break-ups and cheaters....hence Aniston-Pitt-Jolie. Aniston should have just kicked out a few babies and kept brad happy. IMO. Her movie career hasnt done shit for her anyway. :D
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And now for something completely different...
Submitted by lara on September 8, 2008 - 5:30pm.
i've asked this question on another thread a while ago. i'll repost as i am curious to know the answer:
Why the women brangeloonies love angelina after what she did??? and hate jennifer so much??? i don't get it. someone enlighten me pls
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Because Angelina is a saint and can do no wrong and Jen is just a jellis h8er.
Really, it's the man mentality of, Angelina fucked up and they know damn well she did, so they're going to blame everyone else to divert the shitty attention.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by gyeah on September 8, 2008 - 10:21pm.
Holy shitballs!! Xtina's nose!! WTF is that??
*
Ahem
As a Christina fan I am obligated to say that Christina's nose is perfect, mainly because Christina has huge "I hate my nose" issues.
~♥~Xtina, obey gravity - IT'S THE LAW!~Sandbitch~8/9/08~♥~
Keeps Getting Better
THE NEW SINGLE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O9G3JB8FG4
BYE STONEY!!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Prepare for Metamorphosis, are you ready Kafka?
Stoney on September 8, 2008 - 5:19pm.
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on September 8, 2008 - 4:15pm.
Priceless! Please let him cheat on Angie, oh please oh please oh please oh please!!!!!!!
- It would be more surprising if it already hasn't happened.
He's just getting better at not being caught.
And yes, I will be calling into work the day they break up, we have a closeted loon in my office, I just found out a while ago.
...I am aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
"The man GROANED, then said cheekily what are you trying to do to me."
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The man is an ACTOR.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Prepare for Metamorphosis, are you ready Kafka?
Ok, bye y'all. Happy Hour Time!!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
On second thoughts she's probably on the hunt for Brad! Run for your life Bradley!!
i've asked this question on another thread a while ago. i'll repost as i am curious to know the answer:
Why the women brangeloonies love angelina after what she did??? and hate jennifer so much??? i don't get it. someone enlighten me pls
Well color me spackle in bond-o and coat me in botox, I believe this might be the scariest face I've seen all day! Yikes!!!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on September 8, 2008 - 4:24pm.
From Loon central over the weekend and a quick PSA regarding Loons:
" REPOSTED FROM PREV THREAD @ 09/06/2008 at 12:49 am
“He signed autographs for a long time on all manner of pics and posters, both Angelina’s and his, and get this - when he’d get to an angelina pic he’d lick his chops, and he even clutched his heart at one point at this hot pic of Angelina - and get this, groaned. The man GROANED, then said cheekily what are you trying to do to me. OMG the man is gone for his baby. lol Wowee.”
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.......
Please tell me you made that up. I don't know whether to laugh or go kill myself.
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Keep on keepin' on.
For all you haters, it's....Bible In a Minute!
I have never understood the hatred towards Diaz. She is aboslutely not ugly. Seriously, I don't think I'd have a problem with looking like a leggy, tanned, buff blonde, lol. I'd gladly trade my short legs and flat feet for a few pimples every now and then. She looked awesome in What Happens in Vegas. Of course, that could have been CGI. LOL.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by mharker on September 8, 2008 - 2:28pm.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 8, 2008 - 5:23pm.
Well, I am still relatively new here. ;)
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It's an evolutionary process.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Prepare for Metamorphosis, are you ready Kafka?
Submitted by FatMartha on September 8, 2008 - 5:27pm.
Can you imagine the JJ posts!?! It would be fucking EPIC.
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It'd be silent as a cemetery over there. They'd all be at home sobbing in front of their Tomb Raider posters cutting themselves.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
talking shit about people never gets old!
"you're smart too late & old too soon"
-mike tyson
Are these pictures from her movie? Why is she passing a gun to someone in the first picture?
Submitted by luckycharms on September 8, 2008 - 2:25pm.
I've been happily married for years, but if for whatever reason I found myself single I could totally see myself completely embracing independence and never getting seriously involved with someone again.
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oooooooooooh, you and me both, sistah.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Prepare for Metamorphosis, are you ready Kafka?
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 8, 2008 - 5:23pm.
Well, I am still relatively new here. ;)
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 8, 2008 - 4:22pm.
"IT'S ALL JEN'S FALT. I MEAN GOD SHE'S SO JELLIS SHE PROBIBLY PUT HIS PENIS IN HER VAGENA AT NITE AND ANGIE CAUGHT THEM! I HATE JEN! STOOPID B*TCH! ANGIE FOREVER!"
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Can you imagine the JJ posts!?! It would be fucking EPIC.
******************************************
Keep on keepin' on.
For all you haters, it's....Bible In a Minute!
Submitted by Stoney on September 8, 2008 - 2:24pm.
LOL "gird your loins" makes me think of The Devil Wears Prada. Speaking of good girlie movies, you guys really better rent What Happens in Vegas. YES I SAID IT!! And I don't happen to hate Cameron Diaz either, so sue me! (if you've never seen In Her Shoes, please STFU)
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I'm with you. I like Hermy Diaz. Have you ever seen The Sweetest Thing?
Love that movie.
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Prepare for Metamorphosis, are you ready Kafka?