Ho Sit Down
During the amazingly horrific crap fiesta known as the MTV VMAs, the low-rent Ugly Betty aka Jordin Sparks, defended promise (or purity) rings. Earlier in the night, host Russell Brand told a few stupid jokes about the Jonas Brothers and their purity rings. It wasn't a big deal, but Jordin was offended.
Before presenting an award with John Legend, she said: "I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It's not bad to wear a promise ring. Because not everybody – guy or girl – wants to be a slut."
Yes, Jordan is right. If you wear a purity ring, your genitals will forever be pure, fresh and innocent. If you don't wear one, you are a major slut whose genitals will soon fall off from all of the sins it's committed. Hey, works for me.
Seriously, this is why you must stick with the words on the teleprompter. If it's not written for you, don't fucking say it. I know what she meant, but it came out wrong. She ended up dissing the sluts. Even John gave her the reverse side-eye.
It's war, Low-Rent Ugly Betty! Sienna Miller and I are terribly offended, but we'll get over it by fucking the pain away. That's how sluts deal with shit.
Sluts of the world unite!
It's truly amazing that most people that say these stupid remarks about promise rings are over weight pigs. She would be a very pretty women if she lost forty pounds. She needs to push herself away from the fried chicken and Big Macs.
One of the greatest movie quotes of all time was from the great Divine - from the movie - "Hairspray" - and this one's for ya girl Jordon -
"BIG AS A HOUSE!"
I don't know what snow-globe she grew up in, but not everyone gets to CHOOSE their purity. HELLO? Rape, molestation, sex abuse happen! What are you going to tell that kid? "Oh sorry, you can't have a purity ring cuz your babysitter forced you to be an impure slut without your consent."
Also, abstinence until marriage doesn't work either because the Government has intervened and says that not everyone can get married (a religious ritual). So, what now, purity has to be rubber stamped by the government?
Good luck in your endeavors, but don't try and make everyone fit into your dreamworld.
Submitted by boomsy on September 8, 2008 - 2:23pm.
Ok, let me see if I can be totally objective here:
Jordin's comment, when taken in the context of Russell Brand suggesting the Jonas Bros. should sleep around, was quite appropriate and I can applaud her for that. However, when hearing the comment without the prelude, it comes off completely judgemental and bitchy.
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I really liked this, so I'll post it again.
I'm not sure we all know this having seen the VMA's second-hand, so to speak.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Submitted by Gigi-A-GoGo on September 9, 2008 - 12:25am.
Submitted by Kp on September 8, 2008 - 1:05pm.
That's not what she said! I don't know what you were listening to. She said, not everyone wants to be a slut. No where in there did she say that no purity ring equals slut.
It seems like there are a lot of sexually promiscuous people in here that feel bad about their decisions. How dare that mean Jordin stand up for virgins! Her parents obviously raised her wrong! Puh-lease people. Give me a break.
Perhaps when holier than thou, judgemental cunts like you and walrus ass Jordin here go around making general statements about total strangers lives, you should reevaluate what people are saying. She might not have meant that, but how she said it definitely insuated it.
No, my issues is not with virgins or people who stand up for them. Its with self righteous assholes like you!
That's not a purity ring, it's a Funyun.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
John Legend is giving the ladies in the audience, ye' old "look no purity ring, meet me backstage" look.
The Jonas brothers didn't look amused though. hahaha
Submitted by Slutleena on September 8, 2008 - 10:16pm.
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 8, 2008 - 11:33pm.
3. I wish all of you that are making fun of Jordins weight would post pics of YOUR fat asses so we could make fun of you.
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What a way to make this about you. And no I'm not taking back my fat joke.
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What the fuck...??
No honey, I was quoting someone. Fuck....
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
Submitted by Kp on September 8, 2008 - 1:05pm.
That's not what she said! I don't know what you were listening to. She said, not everyone wants to be a slut. No where in there did she say that no purity ring equals slut.
It seems like there are a lot of sexually promiscuous people in here that feel bad about their decisions. How dare that mean Jordin stand up for virgins! Her parents obviously raised her wrong! Puh-lease people. Give me a break.
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 8, 2008 - 11:33pm.
3. I wish all of you that are making fun of Jordins weight would post pics of YOUR fat asses so we could make fun of you.
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What a way to make this about you. And no I'm not taking back my fat joke.
but on another note.......
Everyone is entitled to their beliefs but jokes are jokes. Not everyone is saying she was wrong for saying something at all it was what she said. If she said "..not everyone wants to have sex before marriage" or the like she would have been fine. She chose her words don't try to help her out of them unless she comes up with her own explanation.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
john legend dresses and acts like an old man. he needs to wear a red shirt or something with a little youth in it. geez.
and his real name is John Stephens.
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Whatever happened to Barbado Slim?
3. I wish all of you that are making fun of Jordins weight would post pics of YOUR fat asses so we could make fun of you.
Sorry I forgot to be more specific for you:
www.myspace.com/lady_parthenos
there you have pics you can comment on and make fun of! Go ahead! I don't give a shit...
..just keep in mind I'm not a pseudo celebrity in the public eye making a pseudo bold statement and coming across like a cunt.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
Submitted by Classof1997 on September 8, 2008 - 4:13pm.
1. Good for her for standing up for something.
2. That Brit dude is NASTY. *shudder*
3. I wish all of you that are making fun of Jordins weight would post pics of YOUR fat asses so we could make fun of you.
blah blah blah purity ring blah blah blah lalala...
listen, I am indeed fat and I don't give a shit. You can be chubby and you can be virgin and you can also be proud
and yeah im fat but I am not a virgin (married lady here) and the only 'promise' rings I've ever worn are in my left hand. My engagement ring and my wedding band.
And when i wasn't married i was quite the slut...I also wasn't as overweight but the ONLY time I went on a rant about virginity and marriage was when I was 16 and I was an anorexic cunt and couldn't get laid cause in my head, I was a pig.
So purity my ass, she won't get touched despite being old cause she much prefers food and won't lay it off to have some sexy times.
So whatever. You all prude loves of my life can defend her ass, but do it with the truth. Not with hypocrit comments, we have too many of those.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
Submitted by kay_s on September 8, 2008 - 11:12pm.
So when the hosts trashes whomever he pleases and their beliefs that's okay but when Jordin decides to state her belief, she's wrong?
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What? Did someone do that?
and...
Submitted by boomsy on September 8, 2008 - 2:23pm.
Ok, let me see if I can be totally objective here:
Jordin's comment, when taken in the context of Russell Brand suggesting the Jonas Bros. should sleep around, was quite appropriate and I can applaud her for that. However, when hearing the comment without the prelude, it comes off completely judgemental and bitchy.
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VERY good point. Nobody tol' me!!!
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
So when the hosts trashes whomever he pleases and their beliefs that's okay but when Jordin decides to state her belief, she's wrong? What a bunch of hypocrites.
I know, right?
Why din't she just walk up to the microphone and say:
*cough*RiRi*cough*isawhore*cough*andaslut*cough*
?
Say what you mean, bitch.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Why wear a promise ring, Bitch just keep eating and that'll be enough to ward off some penis.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
First of all, I hate this bitch, I only tolerated "No Air" because I love Chris Brown, that being said, the bitch is just jealous that he's with Rihanna and not her. Case in point, she went on & on about the huge crush she had on him blah, blah, blah, and nothing happened. All of a sudden he's with Princess RiRi (you know she's giving it up!), and now Jordin is throwing a hissy fit! She gave the side-eye of death last night during RiRi's 2nd performance. Here's a hint Jordin, maybe if you had a little sex instead of hiding your pain in buckets of chicken, you could have had him, it's great exercise! And no, that dress was not working with her!
♀♀♀Tell me I'm not spending too much time on happy endings, and my life does not rely on how much love you might be lending me♀♀♀
A purity ring means that you only do oral and anal. Her face looks like it's been beaten with more than a few spicy eight inch sausages.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
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purity= no sex
sex = unpure?????
not down with that kind of thinking.
She kind of looks like Rickey Vasquez from My So-Called Life. If he were a linebacker.
Submitted by FatMartha on September 8, 2008 - 8:28pm
Very Well put, I do agree with Class's first sentiments of standing up for what you believe in, I just think its pretty messed up for Jordin to say anyone who has sex before marriage is a slut. Thats the only reason I'm insulting her about her weight. And I also am not fat, but i dont have anything against the big girls generally.
I'm not saying she's fat, I just think that dress is unflattering and does nothing for her. The color, cut and length aren't showing off her assets.
And if he wanted to defend purity rings; there's a right and a wrong way to do it. That was the wrong way.
And also I don't really get the purity rings. Why is a ring necessary in the first place?
AND Russell is hot. Dirty and hot.
@RichBitch, KP:
Submitted by Classof1997 on September 8, 2008 - 11:13pm.
1. Good for her for standing up for something.
2. That Brit dude is NASTY. *shudder*
3. I wish all of you that are making fun of Jordins weight would post pics of YOUR fat asses so we could make fun of you.
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Sorry everyone, but I have to agree with Class on this one. Yes, Jordin should stand up for something, and good for her for speaking out about it. I think she could have stated her opinion in a better manner, but I still think what she did was right.
Agree on the 3rd point too; however, I think YOU could have said this better as well. I think where you were going with this was: "Don't make fun of her because she's not a stick-thin anorexic twat." And I completely agree. But please don't make such bold insults to the rest of us when you have no idea what we look like. (Despite my username, I am in fact NOT fat, but am a perfectly healthy weight - def. not the size of Keira Knightley though!)
RB and KP, you do have a right to be insulted by those statements and I completely understand why. I think the choice of words was a poor one.
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Keep on keepin' on.
For all you haters, it's....Bible In a Minute!
Also, the virginity thing is such a huge marketing scam, as if nobody already knew. All of this mentioning of "I'm a virgin" just recreates the idea of associating sexuality with the (often underage) person without actually saying it out right (which would be pretty close to illegal.
Good for John Legend for not pretending along with her fuckery.
And what a stupid bitch. She didn't think that maybe implicating that anyone who isn't celibate is a slut would be a totally moronic thing to say? It could have easily been possible to defend her feelings about purity rings without sounding like a dumbass. And Russell is a comedian. The jokes weren't hilarious, but he had to work with something. Big f'ing deal.
edit: funny that they made her say, "When you live your life in public, your story could overshadow your music..." Because her feelings about promise rings are probably going to be more memorable than anything she'll ever sing (I've never heard any of it).
Submitted by Classof1997 on September 8, 2008 - 6:13pm.
3. I wish all of you that are making fun of Jordins weight would post pics of YOUR fat asses so we could make fun of you.
Obviously youre the one with the weight issues here otherwise you would take no offense. Virgin Fatties stick together.
Submitted by Boob3rries on September 8, 2008 - 11:55pm.
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on September 8, 2008 - 4:27pm.
lol DAE you're the best
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Thanks Boob3rries! ;0)
~♥~Xtina, obey gravity - IT'S THE LAW!~Sandbitch~8/9/08~♥~
Keeps Getting Better
THE NEW SINGLE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O9G3JB8FG4
damn, she's got some linebacker-esque shoulders. John Legend has never looked tinier. Also she needs to shut the fuck up. You want to live your life a virgin, good for you but shut the fuck up about it!
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on September 8, 2008 - 4:27pm.
lol DAE you're the best
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
Submitted by Classof1997 on September 8, 2008 - 11:13pm.
1. Good for her for standing up for something.
2. That Brit dude is NASTY. *shudder*
3. I wish all of you that are making fun of Jordins weight would post pics of YOUR fat asses so we could make fun of you.
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I'm guessing you're a proud virgin ain't ya?
Submitted by Classof1997 on September 8, 2008 - 11:13pm.
3. I wish all of you that are making fun of Jordins weight would post pics of YOUR fat asses so we could make fun of you.
*
http://3quarksdaily.blogs.com/3quarksdaily/images/fat_1.jpg
~♥~Xtina, obey gravity - IT'S THE LAW!~Sandbitch~8/9/08~♥~
Keeps Getting Better
THE NEW SINGLE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O9G3JB8FG4
@classof1997 : unlike that big-mouth, no talent cow jorden, none of the posters here are the size of nfl tackles trying to pull off a skinny dress and puking out shit on national television. stfu whore.
3. I wish all of you that are making fun of Jordins weight would post pics of YOUR fat asses so we could make fun of you.
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Anytime, sweetie. All my pictures are right there, in my signature.
Have a blast!
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi
1. Good for her for standing up for something.
2. That Brit dude is NASTY. *shudder*
3. I wish all of you that are making fun of Jordins weight would post pics of YOUR fat asses so we could make fun of you.
When did MTV become EWTN? Sadly, even Mother Angelica has more fire, talent and morality than any of the two-faced hypocrites on stage.
Someone needs to tell Jordin Marshmallow that there will never be a Nobel prize for purity, especially not for an Idol winning football player's kid.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on September 9, 2008 - 5:37am.
Breakdown - we had a call from your doctor. He has diagnosed that you have dlisteditis and you may need a dlistedectomy.
:)
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Some days I'm a super bitch
Up to my old tricks
But it won't last forever
Next day I'm your super girl
Out to save the world
And it keeps getting better
I don't think she looks like a low rent America Ferrera, but her comment was annoying. She needs to lose weight too. It was like at the oscars when Chris Rock made that joke about Jude Law and Sean Penn responded. So pointless.
P.S. The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez and Jordin Sparks are mickey mouse celebrities who will [HOPEFULLY] disappear within a few years. That's why the MTV award show sucked-- those Disney celebrities and Shitney Smears.
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HA HA HA!!!!!!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
She's such a CUNT!
So if you don't wear one of those cuntfuck rings you're a slut. How nice.
Fuck off you fucking fat cunt bitch whore.
I want to cunt punt this bitch so bad. The only reason she wears one is because no one would want to fuck her anyway.
Open mouth, insert foot. What a dope!
It's nice that she said that (to get the message across to kids), but I have a feeling that she was one of the only ones that thought she was funny. Ouch.
And she's a big guurl.
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
so...jordin for mccain/palin? lord,jordin is a large girl...
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so pretty. so fat. so sad!!!
Submitted by Gigi-A-GoGo on September 8, 2008 - 3:34pm.
Nope, actually, she pretty much said it like, "If you dont wear a promise ring you are a slut." She might not have meant that, but thats what she said.
She shouldn't hunch over like that, and just embrasse her bigness. And Breakdown she'll change your name to Beatdown LOL
Nope she said it all kinds of bitchity.
I dont like it!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
She should play football with those shoulders!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://societysex.blogspot.com/
Submitted by LoLo on September 8, 2008 - 10:45am.
I'll accept that. Some people are incapable of logic and consistent thoughts on a given subject.
I'l just say that Jordin DID NOT say that a sexually active person is a slut. So that bugs me that people keep trying to make it seem like she said that. She just said its okay to keep in your pants. Something that needs to be said on MTV.
I thought that was Courtney Kardashian.
Oh, that's why I'm a slut, I never wore a purity ring! Oh well, too late. I guess I'm going to hell. That's okay, cause most of my friends will be there.
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell