For The Brangaloonie Who Has Everything
Artist Noel Cruz has created several Angelina Jolie dolls that he sells on eBay. One Saint Angie doll sold for $3,350.00 in June. Something tells me that the Brangaloonie who bought it sold one of their kids on the black market to pay for it.
The Angie doll is pretty realistic and creepy. I think the doll's arms are still fatter than Angie's real arms. Unfortunately, Noel forgot to attach a halo over her head. r.
Noel has also made based on Daniel Craig, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp and many others. Visit his website to see them. He also takes commissions. Sorry Brangaloonies, he won't make a Saint Angie "real doll" for you. Don't even ask. I can't wait to save enough pennies to ask him to make me dolls of the Empress of Lucite, Chicken Cutlets and Rojo Caliente. Who needs real friends when you have lifelike dolls to talk to all day and night? And yes, I skipped my meds again this morning.
VIA ONTD
I couldn't agree more with this writer - check out the article :
"What I don't understand, though, is how Angelina Jolie became such a beacon of sensual pleasure that its sacrilegious for anyone (male or female) to be anything but completely rabid with desire. I will admit she's attractive, but I wouldn't jump through any hoops to get in her bed, just as I'm sure she wouldn't jump through anything to get into mine. Try saying that to a group of your friends. They'll look at you like you just killed Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and the Pope simultaneously."
"The fact remains, however, that Angelina Jolie simply isn't that hot. First of all, let's talk about the lips, because they are, in a word, frightening. It looks like someone has placed tiny collagen land mines inside, and is randomly detonating them for fun. They have become an entity unto themselves, and that is never a good thing. Imagine if Cindy Crawford's mole had somehow kept growing and enveloped her head. That is what Angelina Jolie's lips are threatening to do. "
Be that as it may, there is always the chorus of men ready to respond, "You know what lips like that are good for…?"
No, I don't. Flotation? Preventing serious injury in the event of a crash?
Look closely, because Angelina Jolie is a centimeter away from being Lisa Rinna, and the only thing her lips are good for is making me pity Harry Hamlin.
Angelina Jolie and Lisa Rinna - Frightening Twins
The disturbing enormity of Angelina Jolie's lips is all the more obvious because of how bony her face is. There are times that I look at her and wonder how her skin doesn't rip. The only thing more alarming is the realization that she is Jon Voight's daughter, and if genetics play out, her face is destined to sag magnificently. There is nothing more disastrous than skin that is too tight immediately becoming too loose. Medical science may have rendered this point obsolete, but nevertheless, I suddenly don't envy Brad Pitt quite as much as I used to.
I realize that my entire criticism of Angelina Jolie has been aimed at her facial shortcomings, and in the interest of fairness, I feel I should acknowledge that the rest of her body is nothing short of amazing. She is extremely well-proportioned, she curves in all the right places, and her body seems to intrinsically know where it's supposed to flatten or bulge. That being said, the fact of the matter is that her face is a let-down. If all you want is a body, go out and find a nice mannequin. I, for one, think that if someone is going to be the undisputed object of everyone else's desire, he or she should be the total package.
Angelina Jolie simply is not.
*****************
Submitted by lizzieb on September 5, 2008 - 2:03pm.
Submitted by HeatherlyG on September 5, 2008 - 1:58am.
Just a quick break----"analyzing" anyone let You want to talk mental? My husband is a Clinical Psychologist.
Ha ha ha. He's not, he's your doctor dear,that's why he wears the white coat and there are bars on the window. Calling people 'lezzies' as if it is some deep insult is a sure sign of 'issues' I wish you well.
***************************
HeatherlyG:
Sorry but I just couldn't sum it up any better even if I tried. Had to cut and paste this comment from another thread. And why do you have an obsession with sexuality to begin with? If anyone would take away business from MK, it's YOU! You appear to be the biggest homophobe on this site. Anyone that has an ounce of common sense is considered a lezzie in your eyes. You're such a fool - don't you realize that people are laughing at you? You seem to be one of those people that will do anything for attention -even if it's negative attention? Very childish dear. You have no sense of humor, you're just crude. People don't find that funny, so come up with a new act.
K-2/K-9:
You are a sick stalking dike. Do you even have kids or a spouse, to be telling anyone anything? Let alone "analyzing". Fucking mental case.
Psycho K-2:---You can also find her stalking on any J-Fur Anistonappyasshairius thread.
Sure you're not Jen herself?
You never answer why you just don't go stalk J-Fur's fan site. Did you get kicked off for all the gobble and gnaw action you want to give ol' Jen.
Get a job. By the way, I don't think Mr. K. will appreciate you trying to constantly chase off business which is all you try and do. You are WAYYYYY too impressed with yourself. You really are a lezzy stalker, you're not a benefit to any scene; you've proven yourself pathetic on every thread you get. Psycho lez.
I'm not absolutely certain, but I think what people are referring to as the scarred or marked wrists are actually one of the points of articulation? Her wrists are jointed.
***************
One step closer to things we need to say
One cut deeper to tear the past away
--Alan Parsons
Those dolls are really quite good - very realistic.. Kinda creepy - but realistic...
Remember when Demi Moore used to have a house just for her doll collection because she has like a million of them - & it creeped Bruce Willis out to walk through that house because he felt like they were all staring at him ???
the Angie Jo doll was very close to looking exactly like her , in doll form of course, but for the length of the nose. Angie Jo has a short (snub nose) like her daddy, Jon Voight. Otherwise, she and her doll could share clothes....both are the same size....
Angelina Jolie tells Brad Pitt: ‘Stop walking out every time things get tough!’
Even with the help of her nannies she struggles to cope with twins Vivienne and Knox, who were born on 12 July, and needs Brad’s support more than ever, NOW reports.
According to friends, Angelina didn’t want Brad to go to Venice, but there was very little she could do to stop him. ‘It’s bound to be a difficult time with newborn twins and she wants him on hand to help,’ a source close to the couple tells Now.
‘She’s furious,’ says the friend. ‘Angelina gets stuck at home with the kids – she can’t run out every time things get heated. Brad returns from these trips hoping she’ll be calmer, often finding that’s not the case.’
Brad’s heading to Toronto for the Burn After Reading premiere and will then be visiting Finland for the film’s opening in Helsinki on 18 September.
‘Ange’s hormones are raging and she takes everything the wrong way,' says Now's insider. 'It’s OK for Brad to let off steam, but walking out is no way to solve a row.'
Image WENN
*********************
I find it ironic that she has always been the one to run from country to country, state to state, hotel to hotel .... and NOW she is stuck like a caged animal in her own home while he's off working the press and the red carpet. I guarantee this is NOT what she bargained for. Not for nothing but I'm sure he could cut back on his appearances for the sake of the newborns. He's starting to sound like a bigger asshole than originally suspected. Jen nailed it when she said he was missing a "sensitivity chip"! Talk about hitting the nail on the head.
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on September 5, 2008 - 10:32pm.
Someone else's husband not included.
********************************
CLASSIC ! lmao.
The Brangeloonies are a little, uh, BUSY with their dolls right now to comment, if you get my drift.
Submitted by thehoustongirl on September 6, 2008 - 9:47am.
Submitted by Gigi-A-GoGo on September 5, 2008 - 6:43pm.
There aren't enough comments on this post! What? Are the Brangelina haters taking a nap? Watching the Britney video? Usually they fill up these posts quick.
---------------
WORD! UNDER 100 comments? I am SHOCKED! (and relieved)
********************
I'm shocked too, usually 400 raving mad comments.
It's like the real Brangeloonies have become the haters.
They've become obsessed mad crazies at Angelina Jolie (oh God, I actually wrote her name). Repeat, it's just a doll.
____________________________
Blogs aren't for the sensitive at heart - FU
I'm NOT an economist, I'm an optimist. GW Bush
Having looked at the artist's website, I have to say the dolls are rather beautiful.
Scarlett O'Hara and Annie Lennox stand out. Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom, also attractive.
***************************************************
WISH GRANTED! >:)
myspace.com/draya23
*rubs hands together evilly*
Ho ho ho. The Brageloonies will lose their fucking minds over this!
***************************************************
WISH GRANTED! >:)
myspace.com/draya23
Forgot to add- he's very good. The only one I don't like is that Dunst creature- without her snaggle teeth she is unrecognisable.
********************************************
Leave the thinking to horses, they've got bigger heads.
Well, as others have said, it’s not quite the same without the hoard of babies and the blood and testicle necklace but realistic indeed. Especially the vacant expression and the marked wrists. The tits are a bit big but of course, she is ‘breast feeding twins’ ha ha ha ha.
As for Mr Depp and Mr Bloom for a cheaper version look no further than the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ action figures. My little girl has an Orlando Bloom doll and, according to her, all the Barbies fight over him. No wonder, he has a cool leather coat and poor ol’ Ken is looking a bit beat these days. I still love him tho’- as Emma Thompson so rightly says in ‘Love Actually’ –‘True love lasts a lifetime’.
Someone mentioned Lady Penelope. I really wanted to be her when I was a kid. My husband is of the view that my whole idea of male/female relations was based on her bossing Parker about. He might have a point.
********************************************
Leave the thinking to horses, they've got bigger heads.
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on September 6, 2008 - 6:46am.
I love how the Beyonce, Tyra and Christina (I refuse to call her Xtina) dolls all look like a sad trannies.
_____________________________
I know, right? Like even in Doll Land, Angelina is better than everyone else.
Damn her!
oh, and you should just try it... It's really not hard. If you do it once, you'll never go back to the old way of doing it. Just try it. Repeat after me... Xtina, Xtina, Xtina....
thehoustongirl on September 6, 2008 - 9:47am
- Skeletina is fucking man stealing hwore! She is a looser and adopts kids for attention!!!
She can't act and is a liar mouth!!!!
There, some hate rantin'....
I know, I am shocked to this thread has not been pulverized. I say good, she's losing her secret evil power.
...aka BRADIFUL BITCH, I SWEAR!!!...
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on September 6, 2008 - 2:43pm.
Christina (I refuse to call her Xtina) all look like a sad trannies.
*
Wait, whaaatt??? Christina dolls????? *runs to website*
ewwwwwwwwwwwwww, what did he do to her?????!!!!!!!!! *is lost for words*
~♥~Christina Aguilera just Keeps Getting Better ~ 22/9/08~♥~
Somedays I'm A Super BITCH! ~ Xtina, Keeps Getting Better
Submitted by Gigi-A-GoGo on September 5, 2008 - 6:43pm.
There aren't enough comments on this post! What? Are the Brangelina haters taking a nap? Watching the Britney video? Usually they fill up these posts quick.
---------------
WORD! UNDER 100 comments? I am SHOCKED! (and relieved)
********************************
"I fucking drink beer and party!"
I love how the Beyonce, Tyra and Christina (I refuse to call her Xtina) dolls all look like a sad trannies.
----------------------------------------------------
The future Mrs. Jensen Ackles.
That doll probably has more personality than Skankelina, it certainly looks more human and real than that fake-ass beotch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Submitted by DebFrmHell on September 6, 2008 - 9:28am.
Thanks for that, Deb. Good morning to you!
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
The guy must be creepy and deranged . . . but there is no doubt he is also very talented. Ah, why are all the geniuses so mad???!!!
------------------------------------------------
Proof that Phoebe Price is over 35.
She's running for US President!!!
http://www.inews3.com/play.php?first=Phoebe&last=Price
SATURDAY MORNING...WAKEY UPPEY!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7W9vRgcV-0
Written and sung by Bobby Russell...The guy who wrote "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" and about a guy with family and a hangover!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RUSTED SHUT. WILL WORK FOR PEENIES!
Not a doll fan, but its beautiful.
More dolls should be this unique looking.
much better than that barbie, brats, etc crap.
____________________________
Blogs aren't for the sensitive at heart - FU
I'm NOT an economist, I'm an optimist. GW Bush
That site was amazing. For some reason, it made perfect sense that I was listening to New Order while looking at picture after picture of beautiful, soulless faces...
***************
One step closer to things we need to say
One cut deeper to tear the past away
--Alan Parsons
as freaky as i think dolls are, these are really detailed and actually look better than the celebrities they're portraying (see the Repaint Gallery on his site).
The things I would do with that Depp doll,yum!
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
I was reading this, and I swear to god an earthquake happened!!! 9pm in San Francisco, I tell you no lie...
(Saint) Angelina mocking, + an earthquake? Coincidence???
Someone else's husband not included.
I'd still take the original ho, Barbie, anyday.
----------------------------------------------------
The future Mrs. Jensen Ackles.
The artist didn't "create" this doll in its entirety, he repainted an existing doll, a Sybarite made by Superdoll in the UK. This artist's specialty is portraiture both in 2D and 3D forms. There is no intent for the body to resemble Angelina's. Sybarites are high-fashion, resin hybrid BJD/Fashion dolls, almost 17" tall and in their original editions, already pretty rare, as editions average 100 pieces. Last I've heard, the artist's commission book is NOT open.
that is one gorgeous doll! beautiful craftmanship!!
***********************************************
Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Those are great Dolls, I have to say, the likeliness and all! I'm surprised he forgot Angelina's Tattos. it's a trademark. well the slit wrists make up for it I guess, maybe he can make a heroin kit as an accessory, LOL! I'd love to see what the fuck happens if they make a Tommy Girl Doll! The scientologists will be required to buy them!LOL!!! Did anyone see this life and style Mag cover saying Tom and Katie are fighting and competing with Brangelina? Maybe we'll get lucky and Tommy girl and St. Angelina will kill each other in a caged death match!lol!
-------------------------------------------------------------
*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Man, these look like really good (updated) puppets from Thunderbirds!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K9rVRuehGU
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
The hottest byotch was, of course, Lady Penelope with her 6-wheeled Rolls! It was PINK. And called FAB-1!
http://mirrormirror.typepad.com/mirror_mirror/WindowsLiveWriter/lady_pen...
F - A - B !!!
Submitted by TheBreakdown on September 5, 2008 - 7:11pm.
If you want the James Haven doll, you just take Angelina's doll, cut her hair, and then pull her lips over her nose.
Ta-da.
Instant tranny.
***************************************
So sadly true...well, I mean sad in a funny kind of way...well in a way funny kind of way...Oh fuck it- BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, that kind of way...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
If you want the James Haven doll, you just take Angelina's doll, cut her hair, and then pull her lips over her nose.
Ta-da.
Instant tranny.
***************************************
The lines between sex and society are so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://societysex.blogspot.com/
Sorry if this has been asked before, but it needs to be asked again: Where the fuck is the JAMES HAVEN DOLL????? I mean, how much would you DListers pay for that? It comes with his little removable beanie hat and his pink vespa, not to mention his Mary Kay cosmetics kit!
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
There aren't enough comments on this post! What? Are the Brangelina haters taking a nap? Watching the Britney video? Usually they fill up these posts quick.
What, no tats?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
-"Submitted by parissucksliterally on September 5, 2008 - 10:52pm."
You mean a barbie has big boobs and a tiny waist or Angelina Jolie?. Angelina Jolie has no curves, she has a slender boxy figure. If she keeps on driving the anorexic highway, she'll end up looking like Izma from the movie "The Emperor's new groove".
**************
-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Wow, it looks like her.It's beautiful.
-------------------------------------------------
I love his frigging dolls, including Angelina. I think he is very talented and could be a great make up artist. If Id have money I 'd buy a few. Could be a good investment. I only wish their bodies would be more like MATEL doll, so you cant see those joints.
That's just fucking spooky.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
submitted by rotten_egg on September 5, 2008 - 3:49pm.
how can a woman with such big boobs and a tiny waist NOT have any curves?
I think she is too skinny now, but her body is amazing to me. Long, lean and with boobs....
**************************************************
If there's a cure for this, I don't want it
If there's a remedy, I'll run from it
-Diana Ross "Love Hangover"
Not realistic enough for me. That doll has the usual stereotypical Barbie body and Angelina Jolie has no curves whatsoever. The doll needs a wrinkly parchment-like skin, the veiny arms and the huge vein on her forehead.
**************
-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by EyeRoll on September 5, 2008 - 5:36pm.
Okay. I'll try. ;)
Submitted by Stoney on September 5, 2008 - 12:02pm.
It's really not accurate without a litter of kids and Brad's lips glued to her ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BWAHAHAHA!!!
Just take a Ken Doll, hold his face over an open flame for a few seconds and voila! Brad Pitt! He's even missing his nads, making it anatomically correct!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I still think we should find a way to let Brangelina know that there are people out here who love them and want to wish them all the best… I wanna write a poem like some other people did but I’m not that smart. "
Funnily when I first saw it I thought it was megan fox (I know). I saw the picture before the title. I think it looks more like her than angie except for the lips. She finally got her wish.
I think Angelina has more lifeless/ flat/thin hair it could perhaps from the drugs she uses.
WOW; how does he do that? They look better than some of the wax statues I've seen.
**********************************************
"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
Shit, the dress on the doll looks better than anything she's ever worn in real life!