Wino Loves Jack
Some bitches ask for stupid shit like smelly candles and caviar on their riders, but not the Crackie of Camden. She's a simple girl. She just asks for 48 bottles of Jack Daniel's. That's all.
Amy Wino is "supposed" to perform at the Bestival Festival this weekend and organizers are worried that she's not going to show. A source told The Sun: "It’s common for artists to make requests for food and beverages before they arrive. But organisers have heard Miss Winehouse has ordered in an extremely large amount of Jack Daniel’s, in fact, a ridiculous amount that she and her team could not possibly consume during their short stay. With Amy’s record this can mean failure to perform or giving a shambolic performance. Whiskey is better than heroin — but not 48 bottles of the stuff.”
Why are they being such squares?! Jack is the only thing that quenches her thirst. I mean, it's the only liquid that can lubricate her beautiful crackie angel voice. Do they want her to dehydrate?! Water just doesn't, for lack of a better phrase, get you "shit-faced-drunk" the same way Jack does!
And I laugh in the face of the bitch who said Wino can't "possibly consume" that much Jack during her stay. She eats 48 bottles of Jack for breakfast!
Thanks Ursa
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I thought it was, "Out the box"...ex) That bitch was talking shit so I had to kick her out the box."
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Submitted by islandgirl on September 4, 2008 - 5:41pm.
*refreshing box-getting-off ingredients*
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Quicker than his own shadow.
Sheeps, that was impressive. I usually just want to kick people in the box. I'll use it in a sentence. "She pissed me off so much, I almost kicked her in the box."
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"I wouldn't go in the front room at the moment, I suspect your brother's having a bit of how's your father with his new girlfriend."
Too. much. to. read.
so I'll start here...*inhale*.... nothin'.
Submitted by islandgirl on September 4, 2008 - 5:36pm.
Let me try it in a sentence: "I am naturally off my box but am trying to get offer."
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Quicker than his own shadow.
Her liver has just filed for divorce.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Sheeps on September 4, 2008 - 7:31pm.
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Off one's box Phrs. 1. Intoxicated by drugs or alcohol.
E.g. "I was so off my box last night that when my brother walked in the room I didn't recognise him."
Cf. 'out of one's box'.
2. Out of one's mind, crazy.
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"I wouldn't go in the front room at the moment, I suspect your brother's having a bit of how's your father with his new girlfriend."
DebFrmHell:
Y thank u:)
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Wino's lungs and liver are praying for death.
"Ummm"... is not an answer!" Judge Judy
Shambolic (informal, Brit.): chaotic, disorganized, mismanaged. It's another great Brit word, like "gobsmacked," that sounds a lot like its definition.
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Quicker than his own shadow.
maybe she bathes in it...
*crickets chirp*
heh heh I said bathe in an Amy post
well....she needs to then!
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
@Angel,
I like that very much! Ya'll were blessed with lots of creativity in your family...
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RUSTED SHUT. WILL WORK FOR PEENIES!
@Deb: And she's not orange.
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The love of my life, Ed Westwick, being deliciously sleazy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9SgPZsJ9j0
Got to be old pictures. Those scabs she sporting are going to leave scars...and she is wearing clean clothes...
Edited.
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RUSTED SHUT. WILL WORK FOR PEENIES!
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 4, 2008 - 8:07pm.
Wino is lookin' GOOD! Scabs gone, healthy pinkish hue to cheeks. Bottle of JD. That better not be evil photoshop!
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She's a tricky one - unless that's old, it's prolly just makeup and a lot of light.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Wino is lookin' GOOD! Scabs gone, healthy pinkish hue to cheeks. Bottle of JD. That better not be evil photoshop!
Tryin' make me go to rehab, ah say no nooo nooooo
no nooo noooooo
Other addiction news:
A once drug-addled elephant fed heroin-laced bananas by illegal traders will return home after emerging clean from a three-year detox program on China's tropical island province of Hainan.
The four-year-old bull elephant, referred to alternately as "Big Brother" or "Xiguang" in state media reports, was captured in 2005 in southwest China by traders who used heroin spiked bananas to control him.
After police arrested the traders and freed Xiguang a few months later, the elephant was confirmed to be suffering from withdrawal symptoms and sent to a wild animal protection center in Hainan for rehab, Xinhua news agency said on Thursday.
Took them 3 or 4 YEARS to wean him completely off the horse...
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RUSTED SHUT. WILL WORK FOR PEENIES!
I wrote a song called Jack Daniels a whole long time ago, like to heah it? Heah it goes! (it's bluesy)
She cries at the break of dawn
She knows that the reason's gone
She's never understanding why
The flowers in the yard should die when they should
(blah, blah - it's longish)
She smokes another cigarette
Knowing it's not over yet
She wishes it would go away
Hoping she might be okay if it stay.
Noooooooo Way.
Because it sees you
Through your hardest times
It knows you can't commit your cruelest crimes
On your own
And it loves you -
That's all you know.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Unless she's on a 7 day meth bender, there is no reason to drink that much Jack. If she is on one, she needs it to feel normal! Get a clue people! RoRoDaHoYo
I'm done with this cracky
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
Jack and crack are back.
Is the long-necked bottle a substitute for Blake?
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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sad what she did to her life. google pictures of her from a few years back and you just cannot believe the difference side by side. I got so used to looking at her all cracked out with meth face that I forgot she was ever kind of normal.
Submitted by Toonkinstein,
Janis Joplin was a SouthernComfort kind of gal. Must get booze facts right.
I can tell you that Rod Stewart and Faces (yes I am that old) had a real thing going on with JD and Lone Star beer.
End of concert...
A capella, complete with arms over shoulders and little kicks to the side. Kind of a Rockettes like with singing. Very Phunnie! We were all stoned to the bone at that one...
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RUSTED SHUT. WILL WORK FOR PEENIES!
Submitted by snowpiece on September 4, 2008 - 4:17pm.
Nova: Wino was born a year before I graduated HS. So, we both started drinking at about the same time, LOL
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Yeah...TOTALLY!! lol...
Oh shizz...time to go home now!! Bye all my luscious horz....until tomorrowzzz. HUGS!
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Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
(((((((((CAN I HAZ KIZZY PLZ???)))))))
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on September 4, 2008 - 4:15pm.
Submitted by NovaNightly on September 4, 2008 - 7:14pm.
Aww Nova, your posts don't sound a day over thirty. :)
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TANKS gonnaburn!! much appreciated! ;P
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Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
(((((((((CAN I HAZ KIZZY PLZ???)))))))
Shame on you, MK! You made a Wino pose without mentioning BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
How the hell is this bitch not dead yet? Did a roach and rat mate to create her? Or is Keith Richards her real father? I mean, fuck, we lose Heath Leger over a couple of valium and a pain killer or two, but Wino ingests the equivalent of nuclear waste daily and lives???? Not that I want her to die, mind you, but DAYNUM! Bitch is a human/roach hybrid at the very least is all I'm sayin'....Yeah, test the theory, call Orkin on her ass...they can spray an entire canister of pesticide on this ho, and NOTHING...I bet you anything.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by snowpiece on September 4, 2008 - 6:25pm.
Deb : we used to say Jagermeister: it makes you horny and it makes you forget
True and true. It can also make you fight!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
She is like Carrie's hand from the grave grabbing Amy Irving; we will *never* be rid of her.
Submitted by Deb on September 4, 2008 - 6:23pm.
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Good question. I can honestly say that I've never gotten mean on any kind of booze. A blithering idiot, yes. And it can definitely turn me into a raving slut! Hee hee...
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"I wouldn't go in the front room at the moment, I suspect your brother's having a bit of how's your father with his new girlfriend."
Deb : we used to say Jagermeister: it makes you horny and it makes you forget
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"TEDDY'S BACK!"
Submitted by islandgirl on September 4, 2008 - 6:18pm.
Hey Islandgirl! I wonder what causes the difference in liquors. Tequila gets me way wacked too, and sometimes mean, but not as bad as whiskey. I can drink vodka, rum, or wine all night and be a happy drunk. Jagermeister is another to watch out for regarding the "Jekyll and Hyde" affect.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
She'll be dead before the year is out.
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"How much is that doggie in the window?"
I believe in second chances but she already had her share of opportunity, theres a talented person out there who hasn't been given the opportunity to showcase her talent
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
Submitted by Deb on September 4, 2008 - 6:08pm.
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Deb, so true! A really good friend of mine is pretty meek and mild, and is fine as long as she sticks to beer, wine, or any other liquor. Give her a few whiskies, and she turns into a homicidal maniac.
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"I wouldn't go in the front room at the moment, I suspect your brother's having a bit of how's your father with his new girlfriend."
Nova: Wino was born a year before I graduated HS. So, we both started drinking at about the same time, LOL
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"TEDDY'S BACK!"
Submitted by NovaNightly on September 4, 2008 - 7:14pm.
Aww Nova, your posts don't sound a day over thirty. :)
Yeah...well all youse youngins can just shaddup...*sticks tongue out!* ;P Atleast you dont have Death on speedial!
I've got about 10 years on this old hag we call CRACKHOUSE....yet i look like her MUCH younger sister. ;P
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Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
(((((((((CAN I HAZ KIZZY PLZ???)))))))
Submitted by M.E. on September 4, 2008 - 5:55pm.
I'm assuming this is an old pic. She hasn't looked this good in MONTHS!
For reals, M.E.! This pic looks pre-Blaaake even. Note the fullness of her face and the good condition of her skin.
This is s gross generalization, but I think whiskey makes people meaner than other booze, (with the possible exception of gin). I love the occasional, (especially in cold weather), manhattan or old fashioned. But after two, things can go sour quickly.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Wow. Her skin actually looks nice in the first photo. But 48 bottles? Damn, that's enough for an entire crew of a nuclear sub. Get help, lady.
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Submitted by yiooooooo on September 4, 2008 - 6:01pm.
why do people hire this crackhead ???
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Wishful thinking, most likely.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Yep, 24 is correct - born 14 September 1983. Her barfday's comin' up.
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT THEIR PRODUCTS.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
why do people hire this crackhead ??? I dont get all the hype surounding her , I have heard better voices
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
Submitted by NovaNightly on September 4, 2008 - 6:59pm.
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Really?! There's no way this chick is 3 years older than me....that's hard living for ya.
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The love of my life, Ed Westwick, being deliciously sleazy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9SgPZsJ9j0
I tink (typo that stays!) she's 24....with a HUGE deathwish.
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Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
(((((((((CAN I HAZ KIZZY PLZ???)))))))
Jack Danials.....a baaaaddd sign....Janice Joplin enjoyed this libation....soon Crackie will be found dead in a pool of her own vomit....Janice, Jimmi Hendrix, Jim Morrison....dead at the ripe old age of 27...(hey, and so was Kurt C!!)...How old is crackie...she'd should just about be ripe...
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Why be difficult when I have been ordained to be impossible!
I'm assuming this is an old pic. She hasn't looked this good in MONTHS!
Amy could NOT beat me ten yrs ago. 1 1/2 liters of Jose Cuervo per day...Rookies need to sit down around a pro!
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RUSTED SHUT. WILL WORK FOR PEENIES!
OLLLLLLLLLLLD picture...
Seeing this pic make me realize how truly awful she is looking these days. ...and NOW WITH 90% MORE DRAIN BRAMAGE!!!
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Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
(((((((((CAN I HAZ KIZZY PLZ???)))))))
Hell yeah, I would love to party with this crackie. But I hate JD, I am more of a Don Julio tequila kind of girl.