More Than Porn
David Duchovny's sex addiction might involve more than just massive amounts of skin polishing in front of his computer. Earlier this week, one of David's friends said he was in rehab to treat his addiction to online porn and that he never cheated on Tea Leoni. Well, some other bitches say differently.
One bitch told The National Enquirer (via NYDN) that David's penis did wander away from Tea and she found out about it. Tea made David choose between getting treatment or ending their marriage. David finally put his cock back in his pants and shuffled off to rehab in Wickenburg, Arizona.
Another ho told UsWeekly that David has a long history of boinking vagina he's not married to. David has a hard time turning down skanks who throw themselves at him. He even started hooking up with extras on the set of "Californication."
It doesn't really matter if David's problem is too much porny or too much pussay. It only matters that he's getting help for it. And on an unrelated note, does anyone know how I can become an extra on "Californication"? I could use the extra peen money.
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Submitted by gucci on September 4, 2008 - 10:52pm.
i wonder what the cure is for sex addiction?
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Britney Spears.
Yes, MK found a good pic!
Am I a cynical Angeleno or is this blatant publicity for the new season of Californication? I like the show. This makes me like it less.
I thougt he was a closeted gay married to an other closeted scientologist gay
hello lucy goosey and james haven
to David: get well soon. i wonder what the cure is for sex addiction?
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Whatever happened to Barbado Slim?
this world would be a better place if folk could suck their own dicks, or even spent all their time trying to assume the position...
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
That picture was taken as he was trying to get into position to suck his own dick. He's really in rehab for the ensuing neck injury.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on September 4, 2008 - 8:27pm.
Frito Dorito,
a long distance "hello" from my Lucy to your Lucy!
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My Lucy says Hi!
My dad just got a new toy... a skunk that squeaks . Thank god it's not a real skunk.
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
Frito Dorito,
a long distance "hello" from my Lucy to your Lucy!
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Duchovny's X files were really x-rated files.
He must have been banging everyone on the set of Californication faster than Sienna Miller in a bukake video.
Then again, maybe not.
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Once again, MK found the best picture for this.
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
James Haven,
so true. Perhaps Mr. Duchovy would be better off working as a rep for PartyLite Candles.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on September 4, 2008 - 10:38pm.
SmOOches Lucy! Always good to see you and read your wisdom!
There are always room for more Mary Kay reps. lots of men are getting into the business. It is a good way to meet some chicks!
As far as David goes....well...James Haven doesn't want to think about what David would do if he is left alone with a sleeping Maury Povitch!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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James Haven,
what a delight to see you again! It appears our young host of this site needs extra money. Is there any chance you can put in a good word with Mary Kay for him?
While we're at it, perhaps Mary Kay would consider hiring David Duchovny? Once he gets out of rehab, he will need a job.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Submitted by Sandbitch: "Damn semen all over the place! They should start selling Luminol the supermarkets. We wouldn't need any damn christmas lights.
Stick a pinto bean in it I say."
Oh my god, that had me on the floor, cackling my guts out. You are one funny bitch, Sandbitch.
I HAVE TWO SOULS.. oh wait, those are soles. nvrmind
I have a soul!
Now where did I put that bitch....*checks under bed*
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
@JH! Someone really should have told you that you didn't get the part because it's in David Du's contract that no one gets the part if they say: Break a leg!
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
David "Du" has asked "Yours Truly" (that would be James Haven) to come in here and ask his fans for forgiveness.
James Haven told him that first he doubts any of you bitches are even his fans. His silly UFO show was on about a hundred years ago and secondly, James Haven told him that you bitches have no souls. You will chew him up and spit him out faster then you can say "David Duchovny is a pervert!"
James Haven doesn't know why he even speaks to David anymore. David has never returned James Haven's collection of ABBA's greatest hits.
Don't judge bitches! James Haven was supposed to get the lead in the play but because of an unforeseen incident he didn't get it.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Like rehab is really gonna fucking change him. Tea should just throw his ass to the curb. Rehab for sex addiction, oh please it's just another bullshit excuse for Hollywood's elite to try and gloss over being a total fucktard. Yes everyone has problems but we all don't run to REHAB just cause we got caught. You know the only reason his raw peen is in there at all is cause his wife made him go. Everyone knows you won't stop doing something until you want to stop doing it, not cause someone makes you. Good luck Tea you're gonna need it, once a fucking cheat, always a fucking cheat.
Yes, how does one become an extra on Californication? I would love to bag me a Mulder. Is that wrong?
Sheeps and Tigerlilly
@TigerLilly,
Care for some A-1? Very tasty on the tubes you know....
@Sheeps,
The closest I got to a Hot HO was this guy that fled Washington State because he was NOT going to WallaWalla...NOW THATS HOT!
Got into a huge fight with his scrawny little, drug ass because of racial statements. When I went to the car the old Smith and Wesson was in my hand. That is when I learned WHY they are not a concealed weapon society! hahahaha.
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RUSTED SHUT. WILL WORK FOR PEENIES!
I'd hit it - but only if he put on at least 12 condoms first. I never thought Fox Mulder would turn out to be such a horny dog!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Submitted by DebFrmHell on September 4, 2008 - 7:16pm.
@Tigerlilly,
with them teefs and tongue...all you have to do is yawn to end a hardon...lol.
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Yeah, come to think about it, I've never gotten a call back after giving head...Mmmm....but raw human tube steak is soooooo tasty! What? What? CALL ME!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by DebFrmHell on September 4, 2008 - 5:50pm.
See any hot hoes (other than you, of course)?
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Quicker than his own shadow.
Sheeps,
I was in Wickenburg ONCE and that was due to exhaustion. Drove there from SFO trying to make Scottsdale on day one. I go nuzzle myself into a bar where everyone is wearing a gun on their hip. LOL. This is not a concealed weapons kind of society. My ten round semi S/W wouldn't have done much damage and many weapons were automags! I got the hell out of there! Ah, 1993!
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RUSTED SHUT. WILL WORK FOR PEENIES!
There are a lot of hot hoes in Wickenburg, AZ--esply at the sex-addiction center.
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Quicker than his own shadow.
@Tigerlilly,
with them teefs and tongue...all you have to do is yawn to end a hardon...lol.
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RUSTED SHUT. WILL WORK FOR PEENIES!
Of course the "addicted to porn" excuse was lame as hell.
He's addicted to fucking pussy that ain't his own. I betcha Tea is a terrible lay.
David is a whore. So what else is new?
"david has a hard time turning down skanks who throw themselves at him"
very few men can turn down "free" pussy.
most men, even attractive men usually have more difficulty finding women. when a men is a position where women are making themselves VERY AVAILABLE, he has to have nerves of steel to turn it down.
Wow, it just makes the show that much more real for me.
www.reluctantwhore.com
www.cafepress.com/reluctantwhore
OF COURSE it's more than internet porn. I'm over half of all guys have at least a slight addiction to internet porn. It's what internet was created for, right?
He queefed doing that.
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on September 5, 2008 - 9:07am.
Straight up Clockwork Orange.
Clockwork orange was the first R rated film I eva saw. Next up, The Exorcist. Didn't sleep for 6 weeks.
edited to add: I saw Clockwork Orange at a DRIVE-IN. Speaker on window. Battered sav on a stick, a bucket of chips and a caramel malted milk shake.
Excuse ME but there's nothing wrong with some porn!
damn. wish i knew about this sooner. i'd hit it.
I told youze guys! remembah? (I need 'props', please, I'm having a shitty day, heheheh.)
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"I told my brother all about you, he's gonna love you, only he better
not love you too much or I'll kick his ass."
He looks positively simian in that photo. Blech!
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 4, 2008 - 6:47pm.
Straight up Clockwork Orange
Hahahaaaa. You may be joking but I am not. I put an end to bedtime bible reading about 18 years ago. I finally told him: There ain't no way in hell you are going to read that bible in bed every night and then turn around and fuck me. I thought he would be pissed as ever for me saying that, but he said it was one of the funniest things that ever came out of my mouth.
...
"There ain't no way in hell you are going to read that bible in bed every night and then turn around and fuck me."
Fucking Christians are so inconsiderate like that. You must be such a nice person to take on one so afflicted.
So, how long before you farted in front of him?
Submitted by islandgirl on September 5, 2008 - 8:49am.
Sandbitch, all I have to do is give the hairy eyeball. Can you say s-h-r-i-n-k-a-g-e?
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haha - maybe you should change your name to islandbitch.
Submitted by letinstar on September 4, 2008 - 5:39pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on September 4, 2008 - 6:36pm.
tigerlilly, you are so right..aniston and simpson stops any man's hard on with in minutes of being in their presense...it's a gift...
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Pssht, you're telling me...I have the "gift" too, so I ain't hatin', I'm just sayin'...WAIT! Hold the phone! It doesn't have to be Jen or Jess, it could be me! ME, I have the gift...Oh, wait, I find Dupervny about as appealing as a severe case of anal itch...Meh, what can ya do?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by starsign on September 4, 2008 - 3:43pm.
Oh and Nova your hubby sounds like a real catch! Walking in the room to find him wanking off to internet porn. But your just glad he doesn't do anything else right? LOL! Is that you Tea Leoni?
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For real!! lol...well...when we were first married, I was super GINORMOUSLY pregnant with twins...so he had to whack it. lol. I wasnt havin it at that point...lol. I dont mind that he does it...cause it means he isnt getting it elsewhere. :P
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Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
(((((((((CAN I HAZ KIZZY PLZ???)))))))
@sandbitch: "plesmograph" makes me laugh...sound like the penis get a workout though...lol...
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so pretty. so fat. so sad!!!
Sandbitch, all I have to do is give the hairy eyeball. Can you say s-h-r-i-n-k-a-g-e?
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"I wouldn't go in the front room at the moment, I suspect your brother's having a bit of how's your father with his new girlfriend."
@gonnaburn: there has to be a high dollar figure and some extra strength gloves to get some one to apply the cream in those well worn crevices of duchovny's...
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so pretty. so fat. so sad!!!
Submitted by letinstar on September 4, 2008 - 5:33pm.
how does one get "cured" from this sex addict affliction?
..
As co-incidence should have it...
There was a doco on the telly a few weeks ago. They had this one young dude and hooked his willy up to a penile plesmograph. Then they made him listen to his favourite type of porn, and then bombarded him with negative visual images and smelling salts etc., if his willy got turned on. There was a doctor bitch sitting in another room watching the readings from the plesmograph. Every now and then she'd yell at him as well. Funny shit, but disturbing. I'm so glad I don't have a peen.
@Letin
I think he is trying to get a better view of the problem in the picture above. "Hey, if I hold my leg up like this, could you apply the cream?"
Oops sorry double post.
Oh and Nova your hubby sounds like a real catch! Walking in the room to find him wanking off to internet porn. But your just glad he doesn't do anything else right? LOL! Is that you Tea Leoni?