Lynne Spears Is A Wonderful Mother
Lynne Spears' book should have been called "This is Why Brit Brit Went to the Loony Bin!" The National Enquirer (via The Daily Mail) got a hold of the book before its September 16th release and published a few of Lynne's amazing parenting tips. The expectant parents out there should take some notes:
Brit Brit started hitting the bottle at the age of 13. This was right after she joined The Mickey Mouse Club. Lynne said she really didn't care as long as she was around while Brit drank. Don't blame Lynne! I bet you Donald Duck gave Brit her first Jack & coke. He's a drunken mess!When Brit was 14, she started dating some 18-year-old high school footballer. Lynne encouraged it, because she thought it would make Brit more popular. She even let Brit stay at the dude's house. Well, the dude ended up taking Brit's virginity when she was just 14.
Brit went to Los Angeles to record her first album when she was 15. That's when she started doing drugs. Lynne thought she was going through typical teenage issues.
A year later, Brit was caught with coke and weed while trying to board a private jet. She was 16. Not so typical.
That same year, Brit started boinking Justin Timberlake. Lynne let them to sleep together in Brit's room. She said she knew they were doing it, but allowed it because Brit was "in love." In love with the dick!
Lynne writes that she wishes she didn't allow Brit's career and life to be controlled by managers. They are the ones who turned her into a sex symbol at such a young age.
In the end, Lynne knows the mistakes she made as a parent. She blames herself for her daughter's breakdown. A bitch who read the book said: "Lynne's book does a lot of soul-searching on the mistakes she made raising Britney and Jamie Lynn. She says if she had known helping her daughter Britney follow her dreams would cost her her soul, she would never have done it."
None of this shit is that shocking. Most of us did the same crap. Well, almost. Instead of coke, it was expired painkillers and clove ciggies. Instead of a private jet, it was a park bench. Instead of Justin Timberlake, it was the hot Mormon boy down the street who cried after busting a nut. The big difference is that if my mom knew about my shenanigans, I would've been thrown into military school. Which might not have been such a bad thing. Dozens of horny dudes in one place? Maybe I should have told her....
What's disturbing is the fact that Lynne is telling the whole world about this shit for a quick buck. She's basically screaming "I'M A SHIT MOM! Now give me $24.99!"
Lynne, meet Michael Lohan. Michael, meet Lynne Spears.
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Speakit
I'm doing alright!! Miss my fur ball, but what are you going to do, right?
Thanks for asking sweets!! ♥
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Sugar Magnolia
This just makes me love my parents all the more....they were awesome! I may have not thought so when i was like 16...but I appreciate it now, thats fer sure. Thanks Mom and Dad!!
Suck that Lynne!!!
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Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
My theory is that kids need something to rebel against: if you are a hardass about everything, your kids will think they are getting away with murder when they have a beer. If pretty much anything is allowed, they will get VERY creative and go off the charts in order to feel that they're rebelling. Or they could wind up the complete opposite, very studious and chaste.
Submitted by Miss Priss on September 4, 2008 - 11:36am.
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Hi Miss Priss! Hope you're doing well! :)
MK, i totally had the same experience with a mormon kid next door. except he didn't cry, but he did keep apologizing for jizzin on my stomach.
Mormon boys rock!
Lynne writes that she wishes she didn't allow Brit's career and life to be controlled by managers. They are the ones who turned her into a sex symbol at such a young age.
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WTF is this shit?? She basically lets her daughter be a WHORE and then blames it on the managers that just continued on with what Lynne was allowing Brit to do. ARRRGH!
My mother and father would have freaking locked me away in an ivory tower till forever if I had even been caught touching peen....let alone sitting and spinning on it. GOSH!! ;P
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Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
Hey slutz!
And to think that Shitney SWORE that she was a virgin and that she was saving herself for marriage. That lying POS. ALL of them
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Sugar Magnolia
Submitted by M.E. on September 4, 2008 - 11:26am.
Lynn should be barred from any sort of "raising" of Jamie Lynn's bastard child.
It doesn't matter either way...that baby was doomed the day is was conceived by a member of the Spears family. It's a lost cause...
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Submitted by M.E. on September 4, 2008 - 11:26am.
Lynn should be barred from any sort of "raising" of Jamie Lynn's bastard child.
Goddam.
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Thank you! And I hope Kfed doesn't let her play a big role in the boys lives.
Lynn should be barred from any sort of "raising" of Jamie Lynn's bastard child.
Goddam.
A really good lawyer could make a case for child abuse here. If nothing else, keep this woman away from her grandchildren.
Hey, ElB and YMAtT:
I would - but she only tends to have a phone for a couple of months once a year. I'm not sure she's in "phone season" right now;P
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Granted most of us did shit when we were teenagers, like drink, have sex, etc. The difference? Our parents didn't ALLOW it and if caught, for me anyway, my ass was grounded, all privilages taken away and my already long list of chores got even longer, for at least a month. Even when I visited my parents at 20 years old my boyfriend of 2 years was NOT allowed to sleep in the same bed as me.
Seriously.
Lynn is the root of Shitney's selfish issues.
So this is the kind of crap those "small town" people have been preaching...So much for family values. WTF is wrong with this stupid ass ho bag? I'm sorry, burn me at the stake, but I have no fucking tolerance for mothers like this. They should have their damn vaginas sewn-up. GROW UP! As soon as you have a child, your job is to nurture and discipline that child..not to turn a blind eye and to encourage such shitty behavior. Seriously, What the fucking fuck? Can I file a class action lawsuit against her?
"Kfed done stole mah bebe's"
idiot...
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
I would be pissed at my mom for digging up my old business and putting it out there like that.
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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
Sooooooooooo, how long has Karl Malden been Mrs Spears? Whatta hooter! HONK!
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"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon." "Say five Hail Mary's and six Hello Dolly's!"
There is no sin too great, no downfall so complete, no regret so strong that it cannot all be mitigated by a tearful tell-all tome. Raise a child badly, take drugs, have multiple abortions, plagarize your memoirs, marry even though you are a closeted homosexual who has foot-tapped in an airport bathroom -- there is nothing people love more than a seemingly repentant sinner spilling his/her guts.
So Lynn is basically admitting that she did absolutely NO parenting, whatsoever in Brit's life once she became a paycheck?
Way to go dip shit.
When the fuck are parents going to wake up and realize that you have to be a PARENT not a friend to your children!!!
I hate this twat more than her daughter now.
I don't get it...so basically Lynne Spears has put out a book about how to raise your daughter to be a white trash whore? I'm thinking Lynne, Kathy Hilton, and Dina Lohan should all be co-authors for the next book.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Other Books to Add to Palin's "Do Not Read & Burn" List:
National Geographic (nekkid pix)
Highlights
Reader's Digest
Mother Goose
I have never read any of these trashy tell alls, but I'm not sure if I can resist this one.
It depends on how my life is going when it hits bargain bins. I only enjoy mood-congruent literature.
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Are we sure Xtina has not passed on and her final request was to be embalmed standing up holding a bottle of her nasty perfume?- DivasGone
YMAtT,
Jebus! Here, i'll take one for the team...
El B.,
Call me...216-Eat-Here.
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Fuck off! I'm the Queen!
She is my favorite. Just saw her personals ID on millionaires personals site """""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" yesterday. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site. Is she single again?-----------
Submitted by El Bastardo on September 4, 2008 - 9:50am.
Submitted by angel_i on September 4, 2008 - 2:48pm.
Funny. I had a friend whose Mom used to let her drink. She'd let us drink too when we came over (at 13 or 14). Her daughter now has few of her original teeth left. 5 children and actually LIVES in a trailer - that's weird here. And she looks like she's 60. She wasn't a stupid girl either - before she started drinking.
Can you give me her phone# ? Sounds sexy, ta!
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Yes, give ElB the phone number please so he'll stop calling me at 2 in the morning every night--Damn you guys and your high school bathroom stalls...
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
I think this book will make it straight to Palin`s "books i want to ban from our libary" shitlist.
****She wore far too much rouge and not quite enough clothes last night. Thats always a sign of dispair in a woman.******
--------Oscar Wilde---------
I can't speak to the drugs/booze intro @ 13 part...but I knew PLENTY of parents who looked the other way or tacitly encouraged their teen daughters to have sex.I was the beneficiary on a few occasions. No pregnancies...no std's...no abortions.None of the girls I bedded in jr.high/highschool went the Britney/Jamie Lynn route.They were smart sluts.
Is this on the DListed Book Club?
Submitted by Zippy Hips on September 4, 2008 - 9:45am.
If I came off like a bitch, I apologize. It was not my intent.
Isn't Lynn admitting to crimes here? Allowing the minor in her care to illegally drink? Do illegal drugs? Have statutory rape inflicted upon her?
After this, I have no doubt JL's baby daddy is that "Head of the Class" pig.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Wow! A standing applause for the Spears clan and their natural parenting skills. She could've been great friends with Marcheline Bertrand. The supposed knife obsession would've been an extra bonus for Shitters.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Even though I am to cheap to buy this book, I think its great because ultimately from the looks of that recent OK! magazine interview Britney did, she only is going to do damage control friendly press leading into her 2009 album release and just do a complete white wash of the entire disaster 2007 was for her,lie, and play the victim.I thank Lynn for at least being honest, hopefully the public can finally see Britney as the drug addict spoiled human being she is, that never should have become a mother or became famous.She was never crazy ladies and gentlemen she was just another drug addict and a person of impulses, no control,no substance and bored, before Sam Lufti had a presents in her life no less, so can we please see this person as another cautionary tale of celebrity and move on.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on September 4, 2008 - 10:53am.
you're so right about that...
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so pretty. so fat. so sad!!!
This woman reminds me of a joke I heard:
Young Jewish girl marries a rich Arab prince. She takes up residence with him in his palace, and her family is also taken care of for the rest of their lives.
About a month into the marriage, she calls her mom at home...
Mom: "So Dear, how is married life treating you?"
Daughter: "Oh mom, I love my prince so much, he treats me like a queen! But there's one problem...he always fucks me in the ass, 3 times a day, non-stop, I don't know how much more I can take! Before I got married, my asshole was the size of a dime, but now it's the size of a silver dollar!"
Mom: "So for 90 cents, you're going to make trouble?!?!?!"
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"Shut up, you stupid bitch! If it weren't for me you'd still be slinging hash in that shithouse and f*cking your boss!"
Let's see, this could also read as White Oprah's book as well.
I'm sure Palin will make it her PTA NRA Mom Times Book Of The Month Club selection.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
and what a great mom putting brit's business on full blast...lynne practically sold her kid out so they can be friends...
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so pretty. so fat. so sad!!!
Submitted by letinstar on September 4, 2008 - 9:50am.
should we be glad that the lohans haven't produced any teen mommies yet?
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More like you should be glad abortion is legal. No frickin' way neither of the Lohan girls hasn't had a bun in the oven.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
I think she's just "sensationalizing" the stuff that will sell her book. It's not like she's risking an actual relationship with her daughter or something like that!
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
No wonder Shitney is screwed up.
Wild boars would have done a better job of raising Shitney.
Submitted by angel_i on September 4, 2008 - 2:48pm.
Funny. I had a friend whose Mom used to let her drink. She'd let us drink too when we came over (at 13 or 14). Her daughter now has few of her original teeth left. 5 children and actually LIVES in a trailer - that's weird here. And she looks like she's 60. She wasn't a stupid girl either - before she started drinking.
Can you give me her phone# ? Sounds sexy, ta!
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"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon." "Say five Hail Mary's and six Hello Dolly's!"
should we be glad that the lohans haven't produced any teen mommies yet?
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so pretty. so fat. so sad!!!
Too many yesses, not enough nos.
When your kid proves they can only make wrong decisions, you take away the privilege of allowing them to make their own. Plain and fucking simple.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Submitted by heyheyheyangel on September 4, 2008 - 7:41am.
PS. Google brooke hogan getting tattoo image. Have a puke bucket handy.
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saw it last night.....saved it, and posted it on people's MySpace pages- pic is too fucking funny.
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Everybody plays the fool
There's no exception to the rule
Ug.. I actually feel sorry for her girls.
there. I said it.
-sera-
¤¤
JLo, stop hitting me in the mouth with your 12-inch dildo! I'm not going to suck it!
Damn, I can't decide who is the worse mother, Lynne Spears or Sarah Palin.
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"How much is that doggie in the window?"
Funny. I had a friend whose Mom used to let her drink. She'd let us drink too when we came over (at 13 or 14). Her daughter now has few of her original teeth left. 5 children and actually LIVES in a trailer - that's weird here. And she looks like she's 60. She wasn't a stupid girl either - before she started drinking.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Does'nt matter your socio-economic standing.Does'nt matter what your socio-political leanings are.Matters not what your plans were.Your children are on this planet to take a shit on pretty much ALL of it.Sadly a significant portion of their fuck-ups PROBABLY IS YOUR FAULT.That's why I have'nt had any chirren in my 34+ years on this planet.I've seen people far wealthier & smarter than me just totally fuck it up...and then of course there's the LYNNE SPEARS' of this world.That which makes up MOST of the breeding stock in this country.
Submitted by Salem13 on September 4, 2008 - 3:31pm.
I bet you Dina is hella jealous she doesn't have her own book deal.
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Dina is proberly thinking up ways of getting her own book deal & how to make more "shocking" than Lynne's.
~♥~Christina Aguilera just Keeps Getting Better ~ 22/9/08~♥~
BTW...no one gets "caught BOARDING a private jet with drugs". Trust me. I could set up a meth lab on a jet, no one cares...until you have to clear customs which only happens upon reentering U.S. territory after international flight.
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
Submitted by parissucksliterally on September 4, 2008 - 10:37am.
If she didn't like how Brit was being "managed", why didn't she STEP IN? She is her MOTHER. First job of a mother is to PROTECT her child.
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She was too busy shopping with the money her daughter was making.
This is disgusting. Lynne felt it more essential to make Brit "popular" rather then well adjusted? Well that solves that mystery.
If any of the Spears clan ever gets into politics, Im going on a fucking rampage. I really hate people sometimes.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
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