BABIES!!! | Dlisted

It's a new week, which means 100 new baby announcements. Today comes the news of 3 new babies who will join the ever-growing army of infants that will soon take over the world. First up is Tiger Woods and his hot trophy wife.

Tiger (rarr) confirmed on his website that Elin Nordegren is knocked up with their second child. He writes, "I have some wonderful news to report. Sam is going to be a big sister. Elin is feeling great and we are both thrilled. While my injury has disappointing and frustrating, it has allowed me to spend a lot of time watching Sam grow. I can't begin to tell you how rewarding it is being a dad and spending time with her and Elin. The injury has been a blessing and a disappointment." I guess Tiger effed up his knee or some shit.

Congrats to Elin! One more child means more child support! Elin is no Camille Grammer, but she's getting there. She's a gold digger to watch.

Next up is the walking leather bag known as Lizzie Grubman. She's the pr bitch who ran over a bunch of poor hos outside of a club a few years ago. Well, Page Six reports that she's having twins! Lizzie and her husband already have 1 kid. Twins! Yeah, because one child just isn't enough anymore. Lizzie is going to pop out a bottle peroxide and a mini-tanning bed. Seriously.

That's all the baby announcements I have for you now. I'm sure there will be a dozen more tomorrow. In related news, I'm not knocked up yet. I'm working on it. When the baby army finally takes over the world, I'd like to have a member of my family a part of it. You know, to continue my trashy family's legacy.

Submitted by SueCalico on Thu, 09/04/2008 - 1:39am.

Someone was willing to have sex with Lizzie Grubman? What is the world coming to? Oh that's right-her dad is rich. Some people will do the most depraved things for money.

Submitted by ladyJay on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 10:52pm.

i'M CURIOUS. I HAD TO WORK W/GRUBMAN THIS YR..I FELT LIKE SHE WAS ON SOMETHING THE WHOLE TIME AND THAT WAS THIS JULY...2 MANY STORIES TO TELL..

Submitted by girl_cheese on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 1:27pm.

Someone's doing fucky fucky times with Grubman?? Damn, there's no accounting for taste ...

Submitted by Notoriousrem_22 on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 7:59am.

Tiger is hot, always has been so I am happy for him and his beautiful wife. Those 2 make good looking babies too so I am sure this one will be just as pretty as Sam. Congrats to them.
As for Lizzie GRUBman, fuck her. She is a repulsive piece of shit and I am shocked to know that someone impregnated this bitch. The last thing we need is more spoiled, vile, degenerates populating this world.

Submitted by Kp on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 2:39am.

Submitted by Justina on September 3, 2008 - 1:49am.

Tiger is actually fuckable without the money, not fat or pepaw age, so that doesn't put Elin in quite the same golddigger category as Camille Grammer or that chick that married Tony Soprano.

agreed. Elin was actually rich as fuck before she met him too, if im not mistaken.

Submitted by HollyMadison on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 1:53am.

I just can't picture Lizzie Grubman even having a uterus, let alone someone's willing sperm invading it. ICKY!

Submitted by Justina on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 1:49am.

Tiger is actually fuckable without the money, not fat or pepaw age, so that doesn't put Elin in quite the same golddigger category as Camille Grammer or that chick that married Tony Soprano.

Submitted by Kp on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 1:21am.

Congrats to Tiger woods and Elin. Their other daughter is the most adorable thing.

Submitted by Clio on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 12:39am.

Submitted by Kwest on September 2, 2008 - 7:35pm.

Have Tori the Hutt and Lizzie Grubface ever been photographed together?
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No, the viewfinder cracked and the film melted. I didn't think it was possible for Lizzie Grubman to get even more fug. :shudder:

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The real LA? (on the right)- http://bp1.blogger.com/_p2jgVV2iZVs/Rwbyb01mwZI/AAAAAAAAAig/aetvoWN5Hbk/...

Submitted by kacky on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 12:35am.

Yikes, what did she do to her face??

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Don't dream it... BE it!

Submitted by KA on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 12:33am.

I have never thought Lizzie to be an attractive gal, but what in Xenu has she done to her face? How do you do that to yourself (or get it done by someone), look in the mirror and think, yeah, this is what I'm going with. FRIGHT NIGHT!

Submitted by piepenburg on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 12:12am.

He is my favorite. Just saw his personals ID on millionaires personals site """C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" yesterday. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on ~that site.

Submitted by xplnyrslf on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 11:34pm.

Now, now, now,......Tiger Woods had a relationship with his wife, for YEARS, before he married her. It was a calculated decision. You think he's not lovable???? (plus, she'a a BABE)
He's handsome.
Has a good work ethic.
Great body.
Lives his life conservatively, ie, not a "player".
One of the original investors in google.
What's not to love?

Submitted by Who Datt on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 11:02pm.

How much you want to bet the little Grubman twins will deliberately plow their Big Wheels into bitches in the playground who won't let them play with their Bratz dolls?

The (rotten) apples won't fall far from the tree. Trust.

Submitted by Ginalicious on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 10:22pm.

Tiger's face makes me wanna puke.

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Submitted by dingbatt on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 9:42pm.

Quote "Tiger (rarr) confirmed on his website"...
Rarr? Rarr!!!! I cannot stop laughing. Geez MK! You are freakin hysterical.

Submitted by jussayin on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 9:26pm.

I guess his knee didn't hurt that bad...

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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.

Submitted by paris herpes on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 9:11pm.

How in the world did Lizzie Grubman get pregnant!? She looks like a skeletal ugly sack of bones...who in the world finds THAT attractive! The poor man must close his eyes and imagine he's banging Cindy Crawford.

Your face!

Submitted by Reluctant Whore on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 8:53pm.

Lizzie Grubman absolutely would have done this so she could get some publicity. That's what this is.

She saw the theme among the celebrities she so desperately wishes she was and she jumped on the bandwagon.

www.reluctantwhore.com
www.cafepress.com/reluctantwhore

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 8:50pm.

Lizzie's looking like the evil spawn of Tom Petty and Janice the Muppet.

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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.

Submitted by madam s. on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 8:41pm.

Less Baby Making, More Dog Adoptions!

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 8:30pm.

Oh, MK, there can never be too many babies! Babies are delicious, particularly sauteed in butter, white wine and garlic...Except I feel Grubness's baby would be all tough...with that unidentifiable disturbing crunch to it...kind of like the crunch when you back over people in your luxury car...only in your mouth...

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by Deb on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 8:27pm.

Submitted by PinkPostIt on September 2, 2008 - 5:50pm.
Grubman is one fugly chick.

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"Boo? Fuck You!"
-Chase Utley

So true. She already has the old witch thing going on.
I love your siggy, and I love Chase Utley.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"

Submitted by letinstar on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 8:19pm.

*blech* both of these chicks ain't nothing to write home about...
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so pretty. so fat. so sad!!!

Submitted by Kwest on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 7:35pm.

Have Tori the Hutt and Lizzie Grubface ever been photographed together?

Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 7:08pm.

"Tiger (rarr) confirmed on his website ...."
RARR! LMAO!

Congrats Tiger!!!
I am a golf geek and ♥ Tiger, he seems genuine enough and I will never forget his daughter wanting to be in his arms at the The PGA championship.

/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.

Submitted by Pamela on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 7:00pm.

Cool! I didnt know the crypt keeper was knocked up!

Submitted by mslewis on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 7:00pm.

Lizzie has a little boy about 2 years old and he is a cutie!! For real. Guess a kid doesn't have to take after mama!!

I think Tiger's wife is beautiful!!

Submitted by gucci on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:58pm.

christine the hoff on September 2, 2008 - 6:17pm

congrads christine and good luck!

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lizzieb on August 16, 2008 - 9:05am.
The sad thing is that Madge would look good for 50 if she stopped trying to look 35. And ate a few pies, drank a few pints and had a laugh. I don't know why we get so upset about aging when the al

Submitted by Pimpcessa on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:54pm.

Both of these bitches look like they were fathered by Jay Leno. Chins from hell and all..... And Tiger, you could have done better!

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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!

Submitted by Soy on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:51pm.

That freaked me out for a moment. With the two pictures side by side, I thought this story was going to be about how his wife went all plastic surgery crazy. I know, I know, racism but you have to admit they look alike at a quick glance.
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Fer sure maybe, fer sure not, fer sure eh, fer sure bomb...

Submitted by platypus on April 9, 2008 - 5:12pm.
Chuck Norris didn't excuse Steven's beauty

Submitted by PinkPostIt on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:50pm.

Grubman is one fugly chick.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Boo? Fuck You!"
-Chase Utley

Submitted by VMDA78 on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:43pm.

Someone please explain to me why it is such a big deal when a celebrity is going to have a baby?

Submitted by piepenburg on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:41pm.

He is my favorite. Just saw his personals ID on millionaires personals site """C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" yesterday. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on ~that site.

Submitted by mike on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:34pm.

I've seen Lizzie in real life, and she doesn't look a third as good as she does in that pic. Take that as you will.

Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:29pm.

Sandbitch: true dat, she looks like someone born without a mouth and they brought her from a Third World CUNTRY and reconstructed her face so she now has a mouth.
(i can dream...)
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"

Submitted by Green Is Good on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:29pm.

I despise Lizzie Grubman. She's like Parasite Hilton. A spoiled, rich cunt whose daddy's money saved her ass from REAL jail time.

At least with all her daddy's money, she's still stuck with that butt ugly hideous face.

Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:25pm.

Submitted by snowpiece on September 3, 2008 - 8:22am.

Sandbitch : like she used to be such a looker. ;)

True. It was an ugly face, but at least it was recognizable as human.

Submitted by speakit on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:24pm.

LOL@Ziggy

Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:22pm.

Sandbitch : like she used to be such a looker. ;)
I swear to god, every little fucked up skank is having twins now!!!!!****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"

Submitted by Salem13 on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:20pm.

Who would willing fuck Lizzie Grubman?
And its hilarious that all these "celebrities" are having twins. I can't wait til revealing what STD you have becomes a trend.
Edit I don't know how to spell.

Submitted by NovaNightly on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:18pm.

*sigh*..........twins again?

What do I have to do...go have triplets now??? I thought i had one up on these celebutards having twins...but not anymore. IVF comes naturally to them....pffft!

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Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.

Submitted by Thornhill on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:18pm.

I think it's Dolph Lundgren in drag..

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Most of what you worry about, never happens..
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Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:17pm.

What in the fuck happened to Lizzie Grubman? Meth face mamma!

How neat is it that she's having twins! If one kiddie gets run down by some crazed bitch, she'll have a spare. This is her mug shot after she ploughed her SUV into those people.

www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/grubmanmug1.html

Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 6:17pm.

Well, I'm ashamed to admit, I'm pregnant with a poo baby, due tomorrow morning, but I've had so many partners in my poo travels, it's going to require a sit down with Maury.

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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"