He Might Be A McConaughey
The New York Daily News has found Bristol Palin's baby daddy! Well, I think they just did a couple of searches on MySpace. They describe 18-year-old Levi Johnston as a "a superhunky bad-boy ice hockey player from cold country." We get it, the NYDN totally wants to do him.
According to his MySpace page (which is offline now), Levi is just a "fuckin' redneck" who doesn't want kids. Levi loves snowboarding, dirt bikes, fishing and "fuckin' chillin'." He also loves the word "fuckin'." Apparently.
Bristol and Levi have been dating for about a year. They are getting married, because they have to. Gawker has a couple of Levi's "fuckin'" MySpace photos. And his photos are just what you expected.
The dude's name is Levi, he's a proud redneck and he loves chillin'. I think we've found Matthew McConaughey's long-lost secret love child! Put a bongo in front of Levi and if he starts pounding it like there's no tomorrow, then we know the truth!
That being said, I'd hit it.
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Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 3:12pm.
Again, she's a slut because she let redneck jock dump a load in her with no protection, plus she has skanky myspace pictures. That be a slut!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 3:08pm.
I was a virgin for the first half of 17, at which point I got on The Pill, used it for a month, and then proceeded to get busy with my bf. THAT is why I didn't get knocked up. Not because I was lucky, because I was SMART.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 2, 2008 - 3:06pm
Ha! yeah I love all these well she is such a slut for having sex at 17! Blah blah blah...do you know for sure she was a slut? Did you go to school with her? Did you happen to know how many guys she's slept with? I bet every single person so readily pointing fingers have plenty of dirt in their own past. _________________________________________________
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 3:03pm.
Like I said, I hope you guys would have as harsh of words if it were Obama's daughter instead...
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I certainly would. Any girl would be an idiot for throwing her promising future away for a few minutes of meaningless sex. If nobody's putting a gun to your head you can easily say no.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 2, 2008 - 8:06pm.
Submitted by El Bastardo on September 2, 2008 - 2:56pm.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 2, 2008 - 7:54pm.
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 2:41pm.
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Personally, when I was her age, I was concerned with getting into college and making something of myself. I made the conscious decision to refrain from jeopardizing my future with something so trivial as casual sex. If I can exercise the self-control, then so can this girl. I have no sympathy.
Thats not what i heard!!
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Ok, ok...so the number you saw plastered all over the boys' bathroom for a good time in high school DID belong to me--never mind the fact that your high school and mine are hundreds of miles apart!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Try THOUSANDS of miles away in a diff country!! Damn, whatta reputation! LoLz x 1000. :o)
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"Two languages in one head? No one can live at that speed! Good Lord man, you're asking the impossible!"
I must amend my previous statement, however. I do not think it's appropriate for ANY presidential candidate to have an unwed pregant teenage daughter. So yes, I would harsh on Obama if it was his daughter. I think it sends a very bad message to our youth that it's ok to get knocked up young and fuck education.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
DLISTED DRAMA CAFE TIMES!!!
*puffpuff puff puffpuff puff*
*pass*
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Like I said, I hope you guys would have as harsh of words if it were Obama's daughter instead...
Also, how many of you were virgins when you wrere 17? If you were, by all means, continue. If not, shut the fuck up and count yourself lucky that you didn't get knocked up.
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
GOP = Barefoot and Pregnant in the Kitchen
Submitted by El Bastardo on September 2, 2008 - 2:56pm.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 2, 2008 - 7:54pm.
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 2:41pm.
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Personally, when I was her age, I was concerned with getting into college and making something of myself. I made the conscious decision to refrain from jeopardizing my future with something so trivial as casual sex. If I can exercise the self-control, then so can this girl. I have no sympathy.
Thats not what i heard!!
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Ok, ok...so the number you saw plastered all over the boys' bathroom for a good time in high school DID belong to me--never mind the fact that your high school and mine are hundreds of miles apart!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
I most certainly wouldn't, Monkeypox, because although he claims to be a Christian, he is pro-woman's reproductive freedom, unlike SOME PEOPLE. *coughsarahpalincough*
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
quick someone ask Michelle Obama what age she lost her virginity at!! If it's 17 or less then she's a whore and Barack can't be President.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 2, 2008 - 3:59pm.
We're gonna have to organize a blooping search party, now. What the bloop, yo? I hope she's ok.
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Maybe she's getting blooped by a hot cowboy in North Dakota? I have no blooping clue. She'll be back to blop us all soon.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by Clarisse on September 2, 2008 - 3:55pm.
LCT!
Porn music and GB cunning tongue!! Great combo!
Well, Dlisters...I am off to get my hairs did!! Cross your fingers, i'm going for 6" or more off!!!
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Good luck! If I can offer any advice, it would be to PAY ATTENTION. I went and got my hairs did a couple weeks ago, I didn't pay attention, now it's about 5 inches shorter than I wanted it. You tell that hairdresser that if she wants her money did and not her tits cut off did, she's did your hair good.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 2, 2008 - 2:48pm.
I have no blooping idea. I wrote her a blooping email on Thursbloop I think it was, but she didn't blooping email me back. I'm blooped!
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We're gonna have to organize a blooping search party, now. What the bloop, yo? I hope she's ok.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Willow's just about breedin' age now too. What's she waiting for?
Sure, he may be an asshole in most of our eyes, but I'd still hit it and run!!! Hockey players are soooo sexy. Mmmmhmmm!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
JEEEZ, what I wouldn't do for a sampling from the Dlisted cafe right about now!!!!!!!! ;)****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
woo daring clarisse!! i hope you love it!
c ya!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 2, 2008 - 7:54pm.
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 2:41pm.
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Personally, when I was her age, I was concerned with getting into college and making something of myself. I made the conscious decision to refrain from jeopardizing my future with something so trivial as casual sex. If I can exercise the self-control, then so can this girl. I have no sympathy.
Thats not what i heard!!
***********************************************
"Two languages in one head? No one can live at that speed! Good Lord man, you're asking the impossible!"
LCT!
Porn music and GB cunning tongue!! Great combo!
Well, Dlisters...I am off to get my hairs did!! Cross your fingers, i'm going for 6" or more off!!!
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Fuck off! I'm the Queen!
And seriously, who's gonna take Sarah Palin seriously if she ever speaks about educating our youth? Her daughter's basically had two years of high school, right? Before getting married and breeding, right? And Willow suggests the dad will probably drop out of high school? Fucking fabulous! What an example to our youth on the importance of education!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 2:41pm.
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Monkeypox, I'd have to respectfully disagree. If she never wanted the baby in the first place, she should've kept her legs closed. Period. Personally, when I was her age, I was concerned with getting into college and making something of myself. I made the conscious decision to refrain from jeopardizing my future with something so trivial as casual sex. If I can exercise the self-control, then so can this girl. I have no sympathy.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
I agree with Stoney... Bristol is not a child. She is an adult (once you decide to have a child... welcome to adulthood) who has already made endless bad decisions. Instead of spending her time on the computer at the very least researching birth control options, she wasted it documenting her moronic antics on a MySpace page. Instead of studying and focusing on her future she has decided to fuck around, neglect school, and now have a baby to pass her harebrained ideas onto. And her WORST decision was going to her mother who is a complete ignoramus. So maybe some would find whore or slut harsh words to use, but she is most definitely stupid.
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 2:41pm.
Her choice came when she let that douche dump a load in her. And by the way, I don't know the law in Alaska, but most places teenagers DO have the choice to terminate the pregnancy without parental consent. She could also give the baby up for adoption, or let her mother pose as pregnant again, lol. Seems to me this little snot had and has plenty of choices.
And please. You don't even want the competition of MY pictures from youth.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by missy on September 2, 2008 - 2:42pm
Thanks honey! That's actually why I'd like to gloat too: her mother wants to take away the choice she never gave her daughter, and she preaches abstinence only sex-ed (or lack of sex-ed). But I just can't help but feel sorry for any girl who is 17, just coming out of her teens, barely an adult, who's pregnant, and now has to put her life on hold.
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Submitted by Clarisse on September 2, 2008 - 3:44pm.
CARROTTOP!
*insert porn music*
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Bow chica bow wow oonsa oonsa oonsa
Heeeeeey Clarissalina!!
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by Stoney on September 2, 2008 - 11:57am.
That 17 year old girl WAS child before she got drunk and spread 'em for a gun-toting, cursing, redneck, jock asshole, but she is now a pregnant woman and I can call her a whore if I want to. WHORE! She acts like a woman and thinks she's old enough to get married, I will treat her like a woman. Otherwise, we shouldn't be letting a "child" get married, right?
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I'm with you on this one, Stoney. She's frickin' 17--what, would she have undergone some kind of magical transformation to the picture of maturity within the next 40 weeks when she turns 18? If you're gonna have sex like a big girl, well, you'll have to deal with pregnancy like a big girl too. Call me cruel, but getting pregnant outside of wedlock basically confirms you're a slut, especially in their Christian beliefs. No way around, sorry. That's just the way it is in this pseudo-puritanical land. She has no problems getting booze underage. Why not stop by the condom aisle at the local Piggly Wiggly and throw some in next to the Bud Light? That being said, I have every right to raise my eyebrows at Sarah Palin. If your house ain't in order, what does that say about the way you run things?
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 2, 2008 - 3:39pm.
*ditto bloop*
Speaking of bloops...where in the name of holy goat-loving is LoLo?
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I have no blooping idea. I wrote her a blooping email on Thursbloop I think it was, but she didn't blooping email me back. I'm blooped!
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/20278737/jesus_made_me_puke/1
read it :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
*smoochies for MONKEYPOX*
Wanna move to Amsterdam with me, Clarisse, Missy, Snowy and Stock Broker?
We're gonna open a "Coffee" shop....
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
CARROTTOP!
*insert porn music*
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Fuck off! I'm the Queen!
hi monkeypox (btw, youre soo cute!!)
Its definately not reasonable to base ones entire judgement of Pallin on the actions of her teen daughter. And of course, the media is going to milk this scandalous cash cow for every penny and avert the entire focus of the election (until the story cools off and stops bringing in the rating$).
My problem isnt with teen moms or pre-marital sex (I actually was pregant at 17 and opted for an abortion. I wasnt a slut, and I hated having to make the decision. I still hate it, but Im grateful that I had a choice). My problem is the shallow and transparent morals that the conservative right wish to push upon everyone as they go along and relive themselves of their self-imposed repression behind closet doors. Its not healthy for an individual and definately not a nation.
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Stoney on September 2, 2008 - 2:20pm
Well you of all people then should realise that this girl probably doesn't want to be mother at that age, but she just doesn't have that choice,especially with that mother of her's. Now she's very likely stuck with a kid she never wanted married to a douche she probably would've dumped when she went to college, which she is definitely not going to do. You know, I'd love to see all you high-and-mighty people's pictures from youth. Guarantee that you've done some things you've regretted too.
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
SHE IS NOT A KID!!
If she gets married and has a baby, she is absolutely not a kid.
17 year olds need to grow the fuck up and adults need to demand a lot more of them. SO SICK of this coddling till they are 18 and then BOOM somehow they are an adult and everyone can look at them naked and not feel bad. I'm sorry. That logic does not work for me at all.
And believe me, this does not make me feel better about myself.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 2, 2008 - 2:30pm.
*bloop*
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*ditto bloop*
Speaking of bloops...where in the name of holy goat-loving is LoLo?
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Submitted by missy on September 2, 2008 - 2:30pm.
your mom - if Elb had said it, i would have laughed :D
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You mean I didn't make you chuckle even one bit?
*sheds tear...digs a shallow grave...lies in it and covers self with dirt*
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Palin eloped with her high-school boyfriend, Todd Palin, on August 29, 1988, when she was 24 years old. According to her mother, the reason was simple: "It was a shock but she did it because she knew we couldn’t afford a big white wedding." Their first son, Track, was born eight months after their wedding
on the topic of christian conservatives and hypocricy, this is an EXCELLENT article I read in RS mag about the Christian Right called "jesus Made Me Puke"
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/20278737/jesus_made_me_puke/1
Great read!! Scary but written with humor!
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Missy, believe me, when I first heard it I was thinking it was just one very shiny example that Sarah Palin's ideals just do not work, especially considering she couldn't even get her own id to be abstinent, let alone the rest of the country's teenagers. But to hold the child responsible for her mom's shortcoming seems like pinning the blame on just anyone. And since when did we start calling kids names to feel better about ourselves? How is that any different from that pig Perez Hilton calling babies ugly, fat, etc, and Rush Limbaugh making fun of Michael J Fox's disease and saying he was faking it? I didn't realise people were so cruel here...
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
hi lct♥
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
*bloop*
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
your mom - if Elb had said it, i would have laughed :D
dahmer - right-o! I cant belive they belive their own lies still.
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by missy on September 2, 2008 - 2:20pm.
omg, and THIS is why I hate perezhilton.com:
"You know what…gimme a hit of "X", and I might fuck Palin. At least she's easy on the eyes, unlike that cunt, Michelle O. "
*vomits*
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What, missy? You don't like crude, offensive "humor?"
First, bitches!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Submitted by Stoney on September 2, 2008 - 7:20pm.
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 2:10pm.
Perhaps Obama's mom was a drunken slut, but I don't know because she didn't have a myspace page to prove it.
Hahahahahahaha!!!!! DAMN! :o)
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"Two languages in one head? No one can live at that speed! Good Lord man, you're asking the impossible!"
Republicans are a bunch of hypocrites. If someone has a drug problem, they are morally bankrupt and should be put in jail. But if they're the ones with the problem, they have a disease and need you to "pray" for them. If someone is gay, they are dissolute and committing a depraved sin. Yet, most Republican sex scandals involve men getting it on with other men. They're "pro-life", but for the death penalty. The believe in abstinence-only sex education, but then their teen aged daughters get pregnant.
omg, and THIS is why I hate perezhilton.com:
"You know what…gimme a hit of "X", and I might fuck Palin. At least she's easy on the eyes, unlike that cunt, Michelle O. "
*vomits*
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 2:10pm.
Perhaps Obama's mom was a drunken slut, but I don't know because she didn't have a myspace page to prove it.
And no I will never have to walk in Bristol's shoes. Why? Because I went to Planned Parenthood and got myself on birth control and used it through my teens and twenties, finished college and got a degree, and now I am on the road to saving for a baby after I marry my boyfriend of two years. So, no. No I will never walk in her shoes.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
To Whomever asked for the PH link, is this what you want?
there are some comments there about some very very inappropriate pictures and activities by Bris.
http://perezhilton.com/2008-09-02-cover-girl#respond
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 3:08pm.
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I feel bad for her too.
I wouldn't call Bristol names either. But the focus on Bristol being pregnant is fair when that's the article heading this thread. Obviously that would extend to how it relates to her mother since she's a candidate for VP. If not, this story about Bristol wouldn't be newsworthy.