He Might Be A McConaughey
The New York Daily News has found Bristol Palin's baby daddy! Well, I think they just did a couple of searches on MySpace. They describe 18-year-old Levi Johnston as a "a superhunky bad-boy ice hockey player from cold country." We get it, the NYDN totally wants to do him.
According to his MySpace page (which is offline now), Levi is just a "fuckin' redneck" who doesn't want kids. Levi loves snowboarding, dirt bikes, fishing and "fuckin' chillin'." He also loves the word "fuckin'." Apparently.
Bristol and Levi have been dating for about a year. They are getting married, because they have to. Gawker has a couple of Levi's "fuckin'" MySpace photos. And his photos are just what you expected.
The dude's name is Levi, he's a proud redneck and he loves chillin'. I think we've found Matthew McConaughey's long-lost secret love child! Put a bongo in front of Levi and if he starts pounding it like there's no tomorrow, then we know the truth!
That being said, I'd hit it.
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Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 2, 2008 - 3:31pm
Oh man, I do not want to venture into that guy's mind. He's a scary child-toucher! I just know it!
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
cadebra, lovely dear!! eh, just bring the whole bottle right over...
*puff*
coughcoughcoughgoodcoughcoughshitcough!
*passes to stoney*
'ere stone.. 'ere!
(I totally wish this was not a pretend party.. Id love to party with you bitches!!)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by El Bastardo on September 2, 2008 - 3:22pm.
Airmiles? Respect 2 u!!! :o)
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I'm such a big whore, I became a member of the mile-high club when I was 8!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
@ Monkeypox - we're only human after all. Getting pregnant is not a mortal sin, bottom line!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Stoney, better start doing pinky curl-ups with a mechanical pencil, othwerwise all the other skinny fingers will laugh at your fat one!
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Submitted by Cheez-It on September 2, 2008 - 3:27pm.
Oh you're right. I was never cool enough for the trucker hat and Zima parties. I preferred those rockin' Super Nintendo parties. We liked to play Zelda a lot, although sometimes we just waited until after we finished the bagel bites mom made us. One time my friend Doug brought over a cigarette and actually lit it. It was WILD!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Stoney on September 2, 2008 - 3:34pm.
I DID notice your gloves are looking a little tight lately... ;-)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Thanks Missy *exhaling a mighty toke* 'Ere, light up, I bought some nice green bud to the party. Pass it to the next one. I'll wait.
*Getting up to pour some more wine*
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Submitted by Cheez-It on September 2, 2008 - 3:27pm
Dude, there's a huge difference between disagreeing with someone and trolling...right now, you're definitely doing the latter.
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Submitted by cadebra1961 on September 2, 2008 - 3:24pm.
Oooh. The Montgomery Clift avie is sex-ay! *sigh*
Submitted by Cheez-It on September 2, 2008 - 3:30pm.
Dammit! That obese pinky always finds its way to the "L" key by mistake.
Guess I better lose some of that extra finger weight I've put on.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Cheez it: Oh you mean that Mickey Dee's at 47th and 5th? I'll stop by after work, you can make me a shake.
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
Submitted by cadebra1961 on September 2, 2008 - 3:24pm.
Actually I couldn't agree with you more. I certainly dislike the Republican politicians (well, I tend to be wary of ALL politicians)...
I just don't like the fact that people are flinging poo at a teenager who all of a sudden is responsible for what her mother preaches. Sins of the father much? And Missy, I was making that statement in general, not directed at you, dear!
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
@ Guyliner - doesn't James Carville look like Gollum's redneck twin? Larry 'Suspenders' King is an old doofus who needs to retire already. This political analyization leaves me so bored and tired already. Jeez!!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
cheez it, this really isnt the palce to start shit. can you cool it with the insults please? thanks.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by snowpiece on September 2, 2008 - 4:26pm.
LCT LOL LOL LOL why don't I ever get fun expense reports like that?
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Hahah I'll scan it and send you a copy so you can keep it for always.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 4:25pm.
LCT don't get me started on Asshole simpson... I'm surprised Papa Joe didn't try to get her wedding sponsored by "pro-life" (anti-choice) groups by saying she was so brave for having the baby....
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I wonder what he'll say when they get divorced next year?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
uh stock thats a YES
so weve got SEED capital now
BWAHAHAHAAA!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
*dusts off community college certificate in plumbling*
what's plumbling?? Did you mean plumbing? Next time you attempt a joke please use proper grammar or be more nimble with your fat fingers on the keyboard. Thank you Have a Great Rest of Your Day
!)
Bradiful Bitch ~ I'll provide the financing if I can bring my dog. Clarisse nixed it since my dog is under 20 lbs. It's a dachsund.
On Topic: I bet they'll play "White Wedding" by Billy Idol at the reception.
oh and right on time, CADABRA 'ere honey..
*pass*
stoney and cheez, line up, youre next :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
HEY PLAY NICE KIDS!!
cheez, stoney can get a little feisty sometimes, but she's all good, k?
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Stoney you have no pics of you "blowing" a beer bottle or flashing a peace sign while wearing a slightly off center trucker hat because nobody has or ever will invite you to a party.
Submitted by Cheez-It on September 2, 2008 - 3:24pm.
LMAO.
You got me!
*dusts off community college certificate in plumbling*
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
LCT LOL LOL LOL why don't I ever get fun expense reports like that? ****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
Listen to James Carville's comments starting at about 4:47 - hilarious when he shows the picture of Wasila's City Hall. James is from Louisiana which accounts for his special accent:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2008/09/02/lkl.palin.controver...
LCT don't get me started on Asshole simpson... I'm surprised Papa Joe didn't try to get her wedding sponsored by "pro-life" (anti-choice) groups by saying she was so brave for having the baby....
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Submitted by Stoney on September 2, 2008 - 2:21pm
I'll tell you what's got my panties in wad. The fact that a former beauty pageant contestant news anchor with a degree from the fucking University of Potatoland who has a knocked up daughter and refuses to put the polar bear on the endangered species list and was the governor of the giant state of population my ass is even ELIGLE for the position of vice president of the United States of We're Fucked.
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ITA. What she said. Amen, Stoney.
Submitted by Stoney on September 2, 2008 - 4:19pm.
Yeah that job I'VE got on 5th and 47th st. in Manhattan just fell into my lap. I'm sure it doesn't compare to the Urban studies or Philosophy degree you have framed on your desk at Kinko's.
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 3:12pm.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 2, 2008 - 3:06pm
Ha! yeah I love all these well she is such a slut for having sex at 17! Blah blah blah...do you know for sure she was a slut? Did you go to school with her? Did you happen to know how many guys she's slept with? I bet every single person so readily pointing fingers have plenty of dirt in their own past.
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Hold on, now--I never called the girl a slut. I just implied that she got herself into her own mess when she could've easily exercised some self-control. And yes, I WAS a virgin when I was 17, and I didn't lose it for a few years after that still because I decided I wasn't going to be irresponsible enough to ruin my future.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
Missy, you got any *puff* *puff* left? Pass it to the left!
On Topic: The love and admiration the Dlisters have for the Palins/GOP is truly astounding. Pretty much all high-level politicians are reptilian pondscum, with the exception of a rare few. God give us strength!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
hehe glad you liked it speakit :) sorry to distract you!!
and yes, doesnt it show you how screwed up a persons sense about life could be if you were raised in this manner?
I think the point here isnt to judge this young girl and declare her either a "slut" or a "normal teen". I wont say whether she is smart or stupid.
I know I have done COUNTLESS things that put my life, livelihood, freedom, health ETC at MAJOR RISK. I was never dumb. Now I live differently. There are a million factors that go into what people do and why.
The main issue here for me is the fact that I do not want a chritian conservative running our country.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by speakit on September 2, 2008 - 3:21pm.
Most definitely, lol.
And from the looks of those pictures, she probably did.
Can't wait for the one to come out where she's giving a blowjob to the beer bottle and flipping off the viewer.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Let me add to what I said...Bristol Creme is a stupid slut but she has nothing to do with why I would never vote McCain/Palin....her mother is extremist wing nut who has no business being VP.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on September 2, 2008 - 8:17pm.
Submitted by El Bastardo on September 2, 2008 - 3:11pm.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Try THOUSANDS of miles away in a diff country!! Damn, whatta reputation! LoLz x 1000. :o)
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Oh, yeah--I'm a jet-setting, worldly whore. I give paris hilton a good run for her money.
Airmiles? Respect 2 u!!! :o)
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"Two languages in one head? No one can live at that speed! Good Lord man, you're asking the impossible!"
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 2, 2008 - 3:18pm.
I'll tell you what's got my panties in wad. The fact that a former beauty pageant contestant news anchor with a degree from the fucking University of Potatoland who has a knocked up daughter and refuses to put the polar bear on the endangered species list and was the governor of the giant state of population my ass is even ELIGLE for the position of vice president of the United States of We're Fucked.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Well, apart from the mud slinging at a teenager, I am very much enjoying the slow crash-and burn that the good ol' GOP is doing right about now...
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Submitted by Stoney on September 2, 2008 - 4:17pm.
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 3:15pm.
Yes to the first question.
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So if she fucked every guy in her school and didn't get pregnant, would she be a slut then?
Ok, a little break from the OH MY GOD SHE'S SUCH A SLUT talk..
I'm submitting expenses for someone and on one of their receipts it says "For BJs accrued."
I so don't even want to go get an explanation of what that means before I submit it.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Ms. Palin will buy the newly weds their very own brand new snowmobile to start off their married life!
Love a happy ending.
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WISH GRANTED! >:)
myspace.com/draya23
Submitted by Cheez-It on September 2, 2008 - 3:17pm.
Well it's quite clear YOU'VE never been to a real college.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Stoney on September 2, 2008 - 4:16pm.
LC, are you serious? Ashley Simpson is an adult who makes her own money and isn't the daughter of someone running for vice president of the United States, so um, I'm gonna have to go with this situation is worse.
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What's got your panties in a twist? I think the daughter of someone religiously devoted to preaching about no sex before marriage is just as responsible for setting a good example.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Okay, now...if it were Obama's daughter I would be even more upset! She's 10, for the luva pete!
Just kidding! Actually, I didn't have sex in high school because I had NO access to birth control (dark ages in a little village) and I didn't want to get pregnant and fuck up my entire life! So, yeah...I think Bristol Creme is a stupid slut.
Submitted by missy on September 2, 2008 - 3:45pm.
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/20278737/jesus_made_me_puke/1
read it :)
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First off, THANKS A LOT MISSY.. I got sucked into reading that when I should be doing other stuff. lol
SCARY.. but not really surprising. Proof that even at 17, when one is capable of making responsible decisions, a LIFETIME of Evangelical teaching can distort common sense.
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on September 2, 2008 - 3:15pm.
Yes to the first question.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Stoney on September 2, 2008 - 4:10pm.
She could always go back to school in her mid 20's or take night classes. Thousands of single mothers do that. And if she doesn't so what...90% of the colleges just hand you a degree just as long your check doesn't bounce. After all Bush graduated from Yale...yea ummmm there's your piece of paper aka your "education"
Submitted by El Bastardo on September 2, 2008 - 3:11pm.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Try THOUSANDS of miles away in a diff country!! Damn, whatta reputation! LoLz x 1000. :o)
------------------------
Oh, yeah--I'm a jet-setting, worldly whore. I give paris hilton a good run for her money.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head. -- Thornton Melon
LC, are you serious? Ashley Simpson is an adult who makes her own money and isn't the daughter of someone running for vice president of the United States, so um, I'm gonna have to go with this situation is worse.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Stoney on September 2, 2008 - 3:12pm
So she's a slut for getting knocked up? I'm definitely not advocating teenagers running around getting pregnant, but I sure as fuck don't get all the vitriol people are spitting at this girl who they know nothing about.
Like I said before, bristol is one big shiny example of Sarah Palin's failures, but that doesn't mean it's hunting season of her character. She's not the one running for VP, her mother is.
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Which is worse: this situation, or the unwed daughter of a preacher (Asshole Simpson) getting knocked up?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!