Helen Mirren Talks About Date Rape
Time to put our "uncomfortable" caps on and hold hands! Helen Mirren is talking about date rape.
In the new issue of GQ Magazine (via Telegraph), Helen admits that she was date-raped a couple of times when she was younger. She said they never hit her, but she was locked in a room and forced to have sex. She never said "no," because she was too naive back then. Helen also never reported the incidents to the police. She said, "No, you couldn't do that in those days. It's such a tricky area, isn't it? Especially if there is no violence. I mean, look at Mike Tyson. I don't think he was a rapist." Mike Tyson thanks you for that comment, Helen.
Helen said that if a woman takes a dude to bed, gets naked, and then tells him "no" at the last second and he ignores her, it's rape. But she went on to say, "I don't think she can have that man into court under those circumstances. I guess it is one of the many subtle parts of the men/women relationship that has to be negotiated and worked out between them." Negotiate?! Like over milk and cookies?
Gulp. This talk about date rape makes my nails sweat. Someone pass me a glass of water. I just got an uncomfortable lump in my throat. In the meantime, someone show Helen a PSA on date rape. NO MEANS NO!
In the interview, Helen also talked about coke! Now that I can handle. She said she used to adore coke. She said, "I loved coke. I never did a lot, just a little bit at parties." She said she stopped doing it in the 80s when Klaus Barbie was found living off of a cocaine baron in South America. "I saw how my little sniff of cocaine at a party had an absolute direct route to this ... horrible man in South America."
Yes, Helen. Talk more about cocaine and less about date rape.
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@Fucking_Classy:
It sounds backwards...but people all over the world come up with ways of protecting communities and excusing (getting over or past) bad behaviours...
You just do what you think you can to make the injury less harmful cuz there's not enough justice around to protect you...
I always think of this one cuz it's most bizarre, probably...
I once read of an island (Cantrememberwhere) where it worked like this. They were fisherman...and the father was not usually (ever) the father of the children, but it was forbidden in the community to ever say that the children looked like anything but their father - even their mother. The kids were raised primarily by the maternal grandparents - they were the main source of guidance and discipline; the mother was the caregiver and the father the giftbringer.
And that's just one way of doing it - a most bizarre one but not THE most, I'm sure. There's an infinite number of rules we can make when it comes to how to live.
Putting girls at the mercy of rapists seems a little harsh tho...I guess you would chalk it up to a belief that men can't control their urges....which is a load of shit - they just have to be expected to.
PS. Poverty never helps anything.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on September 1, 2008 - 7:16pm.
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Thanks, and yeah, I'm doing okay now. This happened about a year ago and with lots of therapy, writing and basically being a hermit, I'm dealing. I just really wish that more people would take the time to actually research this issue and really understand it so stuff like this stops happening. I was reading through a brochure in my therapists office and it said something like over %50 of college-aged males didn't even know what date rape was! It's mind boggling.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
Submitted by angel_i on September 2, 2008 - 7:11am.
@Fucking_Classy:
So wrong.
Earlier - I mentioned youngins...it was important, too, because young girls under the spell of older men would often be considered rape in my books. It always depends...but more likely so than not, I would think.
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Yeah, that was precisely the case. These rapists would silence the families with money and the state couldn't do shit to them because of this law. Back then, rape was not considered a crime against an individual, but a crime against the community, because it would jeopardize the legitimacy of the offspring.
I know it sounds like a whole load of crap, but it is true. That's also why anal rape was barely considered a crime in most countries!
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" That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable."
Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 2, 2008 - 7:08am.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on September 1, 2008 - 7:02pm.
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You'd be surprised at the amount of women who've been raped who wind up actually dating/marrying/sleeping with their attackers after the fact. A lot of them are dealing with post traumatic stress disorder and they begin to identify with their attackers, which leads them to sleep with them again due to some warped rationalization. My therapist and the cop I talked to was telling me about this....it's very complicated and strange.
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I've done some research about this subject in college and I know for fact you are absolutely correct.
Rape is such a horrible crime, perhaps the worst one there is. Fucks up people's lives sometimes beyond repair and happens much more often than murder. I just hope you are doing well now. I know some rape victims and I believe that if you get enough support, you can go through it. It's hard, but you can.
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" That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable."
@Fucking_Classy:
So wrong.
Earlier - I mentioned youngins...it was important, too, because young girls under the spell of older men would often be considered rape in my books. It always depends...but more likely so than not, I would think.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Submitted by parissucksliterally on September 2, 2008 - 7:06am.
Fucking Classy, that is disgusting. *shudders*
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Just so you don't think my country is a complete piece of shit, that was a VERY obscure law. Regardless, there were quite a few horrendous cases in some of the poorest parts of Brazil.
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" That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable."
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on September 1, 2008 - 7:02pm.
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You'd be surprised at the amount of women who've been raped who wind up actually dating/marrying/sleeping with their attackers after the fact. A lot of them are dealing with post traumatic stress disorder and they begin to identify with their attackers, which leads them to sleep with them again due to some warped rationalization. My therapist and the cop I talked to was telling me about this....it's very complicated and strange.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
Fucking Classy, that is disgusting. *shudders*
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Murray: Bands shouldn't have girlfriends - ok? You'll lose your female fanbase. Look at Wham, you never saw Wham with girlfriends - that's how they kept the women wanting them.
-Flight Of The Conchords
Oh, and needless to say, these rapists would marry countless victims. I wonder what kind of sick asshole proposed this law.
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" That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable."
Submitted by yiooooooo on September 2, 2008 - 6:58am.
In PR if a mans promise he is goin to marry you so he can have saex whit you and then he does not marry you he can be charge whit rape. is this the same way in the US??
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Uhh, I'm not american, but I'm pretty sure the answer is NO.
On a side note, here in Brazil there was some TRULY fucked up law a few decades ago that said that if a guy raped you, but then he married you, he wouldn't go to jail.
That might sound highly unlikely to happen, I mean... why the fuck would a victim marry the man who raped her? Unfortunately, the victims were mostly very young children in rural areas. Due to this royally fucked up law, the rapes were "legalized".
Horrible, huh?
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" That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable."
Submitted by yiooooooo on September 1, 2008 - 6:58pm.
In PR if a mans promise he is goin to marry you so he can have saex whit you and then he does not marry you he can be charge whit rape. is this the same way in the US??
dang in the US you are lucky to get a man to put on a condom without just wanting to stick just the tip in first....
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Submitted by yiooooooo on September 1, 2008 - 6:58pm.
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LMAO!!! Thanks, I needed that laugh. No, that's not how the law works here (and thank God!). I think all the men in this country would emigrate if that were the case.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
In PR if a mans promise he is goin to marry you so he can have saex whit you and then he does not marry you he can be charge whit rape. is this the same way in the US??
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on September 1, 2008 - 6:55pm.
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Thank you. But what can you do, right? It takes all types....
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
Submitted by jussayin on September 1, 2008 - 7:01pm.
No means no! Cease mothafucka and desist. Back the fuck off me. Take it out. Coitus interruptus! Done!!
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couldn't have said it better myself
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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Michael Phelps’ heart pumps twice as much blood as the average human’s heart.Blood made of the failed Olympic dreams of everyone that has raced against him.
yes mike, I have heard of them, even done one or two myself...lol....never went through a slut phase though, so I don't have many regrets....
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Murray: Bands shouldn't have girlfriends - ok? You'll lose your female fanbase. Look at Wham, you never saw Wham with girlfriends - that's how they kept the women wanting them.
-Flight Of The Conchords
Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 2, 2008 - 6:47am.
Submitted by jussayin on September 1, 2008 - 6:44pm.
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LOL, I'm sorry to get all out my element like this but I'm already having a fucked up day - I don't need to deal with people spouting off uninformed, ignorant rhetoric about something that can be so fucking devastating. Shit pisses me off.
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Just wanted to say I agree with you. Yes, of fucking course women should avoid getting into risky situations, but even if they do, they don't deserve to get raped and they shouldn't blame themselves for it.
The key element here is that most people do not understand how hurtful their comments might be... especially when you have already stated that you were raped in the past. Sigh.
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" That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable."
dang, all popped up and no fight!
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on September 1, 2008 - 6:48pm.
mike....."pity fucks".....ouch- lol
You've never heard off such a thing? It's just sex you have little enthusiasm going into, regret mildly once done, and are certain you'd never repeat. I think it's common when you're young and sexually active, at least it is if you actually reflect on what you've done.
mike....."pity fucks".....ouch- lol
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Murray: Bands shouldn't have girlfriends - ok? You'll lose your female fanbase. Look at Wham, you never saw Wham with girlfriends - that's how they kept the women wanting them.
-Flight Of The Conchords
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Keep your internet fight to yourself. You have your opinion, I have mine. Think whatever you want if it makes you feel better.
Thanks, PSL. Date rape amongst family members sounded really odd. Thanks for the clarification, but still it's odd. Wouldn't it be plain rape instead?.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by jussayin on September 1, 2008 - 6:44pm.
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LOL, I'm sorry to get all out my element like this but I'm already having a fucked up day - I don't need to deal with people spouting off uninformed, ignorant rhetoric about something that can be so fucking devastating. Shit pisses me off.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
Date rape is definitely no laughing matter (unless perhaps you're on a date with a clown), but if she never even said no, I'm having a hard time classing what happened as rape; it was sex she regretted having. In that case, that's happened to me a lot, but I just class those as "pity fucks" and move on.
Seriously, though, No really does mean No.
Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 1, 2008 - 6:41pm.
awww, suki, suki, now *goes to pop popcorn, just in case*
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
thank you angel...I was only 21 at the time. I am glad I had the courage to say what I did. These days, I may not be as "nice".....
Date rape is a general term, as opposed to stranger rape, to the person who wondered about rape in Families being called "date rape".
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Murray: Bands shouldn't have girlfriends - ok? You'll lose your female fanbase. Look at Wham, you never saw Wham with girlfriends - that's how they kept the women wanting them.
-Flight Of The Conchords
Submitted by rotten_egg on September 1, 2008 - 6:37pm.
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Don't get bent because I called you out on your dumbass comment. All I said was you need to know what you're talking about before you speak and I was pretty nice about it too, but if you want to get nasty we can take it there, sweets.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
-"Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 1, 2008 - 10:31pm."
Of course, I'll go straight to the library and read and read and read about date rape, boss. Does that make you feel better, now?.
'_Submitted by angel_i on September 1, 2008 - 10:38pm."
You said it better than I did. Seems like I touched a very bad nerve with my comments.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by shoe addict on September 1, 2008 - 6:27pm.
Submitted by angel_i on September 1, 2008 - 6:20pm.
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Well, I was making a joke, actually.
But it does work both ways. Girlies can get themselves into situations that they regret more than anything and then, if they are the right breed of nasty, turn it on the guy. Whether they do that publicly or privately it's still a different scenario.
Also, it's important to know HOW to say "No". As so beautifully illustrated by PSL. Something I don't think we spend enough time teaching our girls. Thereby leading some boys into deep shit they didn't even see coming (and yes, I'm talking youngin's here).
And then there is the issue of taking it to court - should that be necessary. She's actually right. It's really hard to take that shit to court, through court to winning; hard on a lot of levels. So even when someone does get date-raped, there's little or no justice for it.
There's responsibilities on both sides, like: know who your dating before you take your clothes off.
I'm not saying I don't understand date-rape. Just that her analogy wasn't a very good one. It sounded cracked out.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Submitted by BarbadoSlim on September 1, 2008 - 6:35pm.
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She wasn't date raped, she had bad sex! LOL, big difference.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
Submitted by jussayin on September 1, 2008 - 6:34pm.
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I think I'm gonna get on that plan, lol.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
On the one hand she's been through it so *SHE* Helen Mirren... gets to say WHATEVER she wants.
On the other, that doesn't have to be the case for other women.
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Hey baby! Did heaven lose a star? 'cause you've got niiiiiiice cans...
we might be about to have sexay times, and I pull the pants down and there's a big boil on top of that motha! I'mma say no!! I'mma mean hell to the naw. My future negotiation plan if no is not immediately heeded will probably involved a swiss army knife...
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Shit, even The Peanuts gang learned about rape in "No Means No, Charlie Brown". Plain and simple.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Submitted by yiooooooo on September 1, 2008 - 6:30pm.
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That sounds like plain ol' sex to me, lol. Unless the girl's passed out and can't speak and/or physically resist - then that's obviously rape and no laughing matter.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
Submitted by rotten_egg on September 1, 2008 - 6:29pm.
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Your comment was retarded regardless. You still imply that a woman who happens to get date raped by a guy she's only known a short time is responsible, not the asshole who raped her. Educate yourself some more on this topic before you try to talk about it, please.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
When a women says NO it MEANS no. I don't care that I'm in your bedroom (vice versa), naked I have the right to change my mind and say no.
It reminds me of those guys that think beacuse I were a low cut top or skirt I'm ASKING to get raped.
Submitted by angel_i on September 1, 2008 - 6:20pm.
Lemme try to imagine myself in this position.
But I have some questions first, before I can decide if it's rape or not...
it does not matter. once you say no, it's done. it's over and if the person you are with won't cease and desist it becomes rape. I had an ex rape me once...it was serious to me, but he didn't not think of it as rape in anyway. when I saw him again, he thought he would have fun times again and when I said no he was not hearing me until I got my fingernails gripped in his scrotum and gave him the wiki defintion of rape. I don't care when you say no, if someone doesn't get it, it's rape.
I have huge fibroids now. I need a man to stop when I say stop because it gets painful sometimes, and there can be bleeding. No means no! Cease mothafucka and desist. Back the fuck off me. Take it out. Coitus interruptus! Done!!
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 1, 2008 - 6:27pm
Im a girl, but my question is if she does not say no or strugle , how is the guy supposed to know that she does not want to do it??
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
-"Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 1, 2008 - 10:15pm."
Sigh. I can't know everything, maybe my encyclopedia of personal knowledge needs an update on date rape. Sooo sorry. I still think women who are dating dudes should give themselves more time to get to know said man with QUALITY. I know wives can get raped by their husbands and that is wrong and that's completely different because these are people these women have known for years. They are their partners and all that. By all means beat the crap out of them, sue them and whatnot. My comment obviously was aimed at women who are dating men they don't or barely know. Safety and common sense should come first.
I'm not saying it was YOUR fault, don't be so touchy.
Wait here. DATE rape amongst family members?. Eww.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by angel_i on September 1, 2008 - 6:20pm.
Its not complicated. NO MEANS NO.
Men: if there is any doubt back off and let her come onto you. See....Simple. Always err on the side of caution and u won't end up doin time for rape taking it up the ass by a big guy named Bubba. Get it? got it? good!
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Spicy....Hot...Ginge
Submitted by yiooooooo on September 1, 2008 - 6:22pm.
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Let me just put it to you like this: I don't give a damn what you were doing with a girl (kissing, groping, etc.). If that girl tells you "get off me" or "no" at any point (yes, even if you're already on top of her) and you don't heed what she says, that's rape.
http://dictionary.law.com/default2.asp?selected=426&bold=%7C%7C%7C%7C
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
I get the feeling that these last few articles were posted in order to spark ethical debates. Kevin Spacey and that other man's ass saved the day!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on September 1, 2008 - 6:21pm.
yiooooooooo- I agree.
when I was in college, I was messing around with a guy I was dating, but was NOT ready to have sex....he started forcing himself on me until I grabbed him by the face, made him look me in the eye, and I said, "You are raping me. Just so you know."
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Nicely done.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
PS. I do believe in date rape but I don't think she's given a particularly good example.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
If you dont tell a guy no and you are making out whit that person , is it considered rape??? how is the guy supposed to know??
I have so many question..........
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
Submitted by madam s. on September 1, 2008 - 6:13pm.
I think the only way to settle this is to get Helen naked and into bed with Mike Tyson and see what happens. For sociological and scientific purposes only.
LOL! Yes, just for the common good, that definitely needs to happen.
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I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
yiooooooooo- I agree.
when I was in college, I was messing around with a guy I was dating, but was NOT ready to have sex....he started forcing himself on me until I grabbed him by the face, made him look me in the eye, and I said, "You are raping me. Just so you know."
Well, that got him off of me.
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Murray: Bands shouldn't have girlfriends - ok? You'll lose your female fanbase. Look at Wham, you never saw Wham with girlfriends - that's how they kept the women wanting them.
-Flight Of The Conchords
Lemme try to imagine myself in this position.
But I have some questions first, before I can decide if it's rape or not...
I take a man to bed.
My bed? His bed? A motel bed? The host of the party's bed?
I get naked.
I take off my clothes? He takes off my clothes? We both take off both our clothes off while we're making out?
I get in bed.
I crawl into bed naked? I get naked while I'm in the bed? He throws me, naked, on the bed?
And then I say no.
Am I giggling? Am I screaming? Am I writhing in ecstasy?
At which point am I naive again?
These feelings that he has - do they involve my tongue? Do I even KNOW this man???
I dunno - I'm pretty cut and dry about these things usually - but I have to say I'm stumped here.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
STFU Helen Mirren and go act. Stick to what you know. Do what u want in ur private life and leave us the fuck alone....what an idiot. The more they talk the more we know...
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Spicy....Hot...Ginge
was she drugged or was she using drugs when she was raped??? ( I know what date rape is but she does not sound like a sane person)
if a woman says no I dont care if your penis is insider her is NO!!!
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus