Who's Going To Play Bristol Palin?
So guess what? Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has announced that her 17-year-old daughter Bristol is knocked up! This is too fucking perfect. Bristol is 5-months pregnant.
Dear Lifetime, you have found your next movie! Let's see, Jamie Lynn Spears can play Bristol, for obvious reasons. I mean, she's already done research on the role. Tina Fey and Megan Mullaly are too good to play Sarah. I know, Patricia Heaton's evil ass can play her. She would be perfect.
Anyhypocritey, this exciting news continues on from the rumor I posted about yesterday, which was that Sarah faked a pregnancy and pretended to have given birth to a boy named Trig Paxton Van Palin. The rumor was that Trig was actually Bristol's child and that Sarah was his memaw.
Sarah made the announcement today about her daughter being with child to shoot down rumors that she faked her own pregnancy to hide the family shame known as Bristol. So Bristol couldn't have been pregnant with 4-month-old Trig, because she was too busy being pregnant with her own kid. Bristol's got an alibi! I think we found a co-author for Lynne Spears' next book on parenting.
Sarah issued a statement and said that Bristol is planning on keeping the child and marrying the wonderful father, Levi. Sarah goes on to say “Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. As Bristol faces the responsibilities of adulthood, she knows that she has our unconditional love and support. Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family." The Palin family has also asked for privacy during this time. Yeah, good fucking luck with that. And do you blame Bristol? Where else is there to do in Alaska besides make babies and skin trout?
I just can't wait to see what other scandals the Republicans may bring. Who knows, maybe Sarah is the one who is knocked up and Bristol is just returning the favor. Expect to see Sarah's ass in mumus and leaky titties. Or maybe McCain will announce he's a hermie. Or Cindy McCain will give birth to a pharmacist (yeah right, in her Vicodin dreams). Let me tell you, the possibilities on this are endless.
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Actually this will play well with the "pro-life" voters.Pity.
"So Bristol's gotten knocked up twice now?"
Are you really so stupid? Please explain how someone who had a baby in April is 5 months pregnant?
This young girl is not running for office - why all the mud slinging at her?
I'm not a Republican, nor a Democrat (although I switched from Indie to Dem, because I wanted to vote for Hillary) This vulgar hatred of anything/anyone that represents the opposite party disgusting. It's why I choose to be an Independent.
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
Submitted by Crys2101 on September 1, 2008 - 2:36pm.
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Obama's mother wasn't running for Vice President on a platform of family values, abstinence only education, poo pooing premarital sex, and she wasn't anti-birth control either. Get a clue.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
Holy shit strom!!!
I <3 jussayin
I'd also like to give a shout out to Bristol...Happy 'Labor' Day sweetie!...get it "labor"..hahaha, it's just too easy.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
McCain and the newborn can share diapers. That will save taxpayers a little cash..
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Most of what you worry about, never happens..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill
This woman and her dysfunctional mess of a family make my skin crawl. She isn't qualified to raise children, let alone govern. I mean, her choices of names alone make her suspect to me already.
Submitted by Cooch.Roue on September 1, 2008 - 2:28pm.
So Bristol's gotten knocked up twice now?
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Yeah...wtf? Does "Trig" exist or what? Was it hers, did she say? Thing is, I can totally believe it to be true or a lie...but I needs the 411 to figure it out cuz I'm sure as shit not gonna trust what any of these people tell me.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
I think this is hilarious! There isn't a damn thing the democrats can say about this because Barack Obama was born to a 17 year old! HA! The irony!
Oh sh** forget General Hospital and Days of Our Lives, this election the soap opera to watch this season. What next? John McCain is really the father ooorr, the first baby is realy John McCain and Sara's child..I say they give John Edwards a walk on role.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Why is it, that ALL of these holier-than-thou types, the ones who are always trying to cram "decency" and "values" down our throats..always have some fucked-up, twisted, shit in THEIR closet.
I laugh at this whore and her whore child.
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Hey baby! Did heaven lose a star? 'cause you've got niiiiiiice cans...
Irresponsibly add another mouth to feed to the world's overpopulation crisis? She totally just got Angelina Jolie's endorsement.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
seems to me she needs to decline and focus on her family. a new baby with Down's and a teenager that's pregnant....not even because of the rumors, but straight up her fam needs her.
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Fuck this is too much for me on a monday... Now i'm fucking confused! Curse You Palin...
**** "I Love Lamp" ****
Before all this gossip started and they had to fess up, what do you think the story was going to be as to why Bristol was going to be gone for awhile? Another raging case of mono?
It is quite obvious, which is the part that pisses me off, that they had no intention of having this come out anytime soon. They were definitely trying to hide it until, at least, the election.
I would love to know what the cover story was supposed to be.
John McCain is the daddy, now that makes a lot of sense...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Most of what you worry about, never happens..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill
So Bristol's gotten knocked up twice now? What easier way to deflect attention from her previous lying scheme than to toss her reknocked-up daughter to the wolves. Lovely and classy, Sarah Palin, you Family Values Nazi cunt.
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I’m like an American princess. - Paris Hilton
I have things no heiress has. I've done it all on my own. Like a hustler. - Paris Hilton
I have an ice maker if they need to add a nursery to the igloo.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
So this will be Bristol's second child?
Five mnonths ago Bristol was supposed to have had MONO. How could she have gotten pregnant with Mono?
She did not have mono. She had the child with Down's syndrome and then got knocked up again, soon after. How laughable that people are actually believing this nonsense of Sarah Palin's. It's matter of time before she admits the Down's syndrome baby is Bristol's too.
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Now I'm starting to think McCain picked this chick so that she can be ridiculed ala Dan Quayle, which takes the heat off McCain.
Submitted by angel_i on September 1, 2008 - 2:20pm.
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LOL! Don't give this family anymore ideas.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
I much prefer this statement -
"Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family."
Over this one -
"I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby."
A baby is not a punishment!
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
Submitted by JeffreyDahmer on September 1, 2008 - 1:21pm.
Way to ruin your life.
I would say; way to ruin your momma's dreams of VP.
I fucking love it
*Angels with silver wings shoudn't know suffering*
Let's play hangman!
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Hint: the letter used, some more than once, are: B,C,D,F,G,H,I,K,N,P,S,T,U
Looks like that abstinence only "education" is really doing a heck of a job, especially in the Palin household.
Hey, she's getting married! That will take care of everything. lol!
Btw MK, interesting typo. Bristol is far from 'plain'.
I feel so happy today with all this lascivious gossip. I live for this shit. I think Demi Lovato would make a good Bristol in the Lifetime movie.
yessss!! i love it.
Way to ruin your life.
Ssssoooooo....
If she should decide to haul ass to Hollywood and make a name for herself and her kid Shauna Sand style she would have the love and support of her parents?
If she should decide to have the child, get a job at Walmart, and live independently of the father?
If she should have the kid and haul ass, all by herself, to Vancouver to ride the pole?
Wow. Those are some loving and supportive parents! Good for them!
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
More honor and dignity from the Family Values party.
well, lookie who decided to join us today!
MK......lol
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Murray: Bands shouldn't have girlfriends - ok? You'll lose your female fanbase. Look at Wham, you never saw Wham with girlfriends - that's how they kept the women wanting them.
-Flight Of The Conchords
I just can't wait what other scandals the Republicans may bring. Who knows, maybe Sarah is the one who is knocked up and Bristol is just returning the favor. We can expect to see her ass in mumus and leaky titties. Or maybe McCain will announce he's a hermie. Or Cindy McCain will give birth to a pharmacist (yeah right, in her vicodin dreams). Let me tell you, possibilities on this are endless.
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LOL, anything's possible now. These people have turned the election into a damn freakshow.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html