Dear Maury, Your Assistance Is Needed
Everybody and their pet fish has been e-mailing me this story, so obviously that's a sign that I must post it. This is basically some Bree Van de Kamp shit. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, the chick who is running as McCain's VP, is being accused of faking one of her pregnancies. The Daily Kos thinks Sarah's teenage daughter, Bristol, is the real mother of Trig Paxton Van Palin.
Yes, Bristol and Trig. Sarah also has three other kids named Track, Willow and Piper. I think they were named after Pottery Barn candle scents.
Anydrama, the rumor is that Sarah, a pro-lifer, pretended to be pregnant while her then 16-year-old daughter was the one who was really carrying baby Trig. Escandalo! Here's some of the shit the Daily Kos is claiming:
In March, Sarah told everyone she was 7-months pregnant. Everyone including her staff said they were shocked to find out, because she didn't look pregnant to them. They also said she's always been thin, because she's a runner or some shit.Sarah's 16-year-old daughter Bristol was taken out of her high school for 5 to 8 months. The high school was told Bristol had mono.
While attending some Republican convention in Texas, Sarah began leaking amniotic fluid one month before her due date. She didn't check into the hospital. She gave her speech and then got on an 8-hour flight back to Alaska.
Sarah gave birth in a hospital 45-minutes from the airport. Trig, who was born with Down Syndrome, was one month premature. Sarah was back to work 3 days later.
I left out of a ton of details. Visit here, here and here if you give an eff. On the other side, there are a few pictures with Sarah sort of looking knocked up. Gawker also has a post claiming Bristol was in a car accident when she would have been seven months pregnant. The dude involved in the accident with Bristol said she "really didn't look pregnant," but he wasn't really staring at her belly.
I'm so confused. Maybe I'm the one who gave birth to baby Trig. Shit, maybe I'm the father. Maury! Please help us! It's the only way we can solve any of this. Bring them all on a very special episode of "The Maury Povich" show. I want Cindy McCain to read the DNA results though. That's if she can read it through her Vicodin haze. I also want Tina Fey and Megan Mullally to appear on the episode just so I can see them next to Sarah Palin.
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Submitted by speakit on September 1, 2008 - 12:00am.
I like Umbertooooooooooooo !
He never makes a valid point, he's not well written, he makes many grammatical errors. Pretty much the random sampling of any racist.
Only proving how stupid it is.
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Precisely.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Umbertoooo is Latin for smegolith.
I like Umbertooooooooooooo !
He never makes a valid point, he's not well written, he makes many grammatical errors. Pretty much the random sampling of any racist.
Only proving how stupid it is.
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on August 31, 2008 - 11:47pm.
You also enjoy TMI moments.
gladyslove, you can waste your time preaching on a gossip site, you can light candles, you can pray until Jesus tells you to STFU, fact is, women have the choice, legally, nothing has changed and you won't change it. There are plenty of places on line where you will get a parade, clapping emoticons, kudos, whatever, for carrying your dismissive beliefs, your mission has failed here.
We sunk your Battleships.
Bradiful, you always have such a nice way of summarizing things and I love your comments. I tend to get too overly emotional about such issues and go off on tirades and you keep it simple and funny. Much love for you and the other dlisters here that keep it real!
My 12 year old just called me into the bathroom. She got her period for the first time. UGH!
I better find some 'pro-lifer' to let me know what to do. lol!
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 31, 2008 - 11:55pm.
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REPORTED.
I bet McCain had the hots for her when they met briefly. Maybe they can go huntin together. Not just quail huntin of course, big game huntin.
So men just come on in, one after the other. Guess what? They're all black.
You must hate your father. You need to have bazooka joe meet mr. coat hanger.
Im not a spammer..so i won't be banned. In any case i am like a Phoenix, a racist Phoenix that will reappear again and again and again.
Just because someone has different views than you doesn't mean you need to "report" them...I feel sorry for you people telling the hall monitor when your in your 40s on a blog that has a hard on for fat cats.
I still do not get why you guys entertain Umbertooo, Robertooo or whatever his name is today.... he is only here cause he can get a rise of you guys.
Just sayin'
____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everybody Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Submitted by Ms Underestimated on August 31, 2008 - 10:51pm.
I guess you could accuse that she is being Swiftboated, from the other side. I wonder if she feels bad for what Kerry went through. Do you think so?
Submitted by Fandango on August 31, 2008 - 11:49pm.
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Learn to spell and THEN come back and preach to the rest of us. Thanks!
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
Come play with this hypo. Freeze frame your prejudices. In real life, this conversation ended when I punched my friend Davo in the testes...even Sandbitch cannot control nature. True Story.
DAVE: Women don't need men anymore.
SB: Eh?
DAVE: artificial insemination, like if all the men in the world died tomorrow...
SB: *WARNING* Dave, are you asking for a serious debate or a serious injury??
DAVE: Eh?
SB: Hmmm, let me ponder that man science for a nanosecond. So riddle me this Dave, we continue the species with what? sperm bank stores?
DAVE: Well yeah, and there would also be some women who would already be pregnant with male babies...
That's when I punched him and while he was gasping for O2, I thanked him and his theories for instantly cutting about 70 points off the IQ of the fucking species. Not to mention leaving some of us with some of the ugliest people on the planet to fuck with a turkey baster.
And more importantly, what are we gonna do about all those pot-holes in the road?
AMEN.
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 31, 2008 - 11:47pm.
shut up with the sex education angle. from sixth grade you know cumming makes babies. unwanted pregnancies comes down to two things....whores and laziness.
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That's it Umbertooooooooooooo! I just lie on the floor with my legs open. I have a sign on the door 'free sex'. So men just come on in, one after the other. Guess what? They're all black.
lazy as in to lazy to pull out.
O Umbertooo...you have been quiet...are these love letters...? They are, aren't they?
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Ms U.
This so called "scandal" has already been DISCREDITED. The picture in question used by Daily Kos was taken in 2006. The baby Trig was born in April 2008.
No matter how you feel about Gov. Palin's positions, all of us should be disgusted by the smear campaign that is being started by some websites. Wise up. Michael K., why would you post something like this to add to the trash heap? You are my favorite blog - smart, witty, and fun...but not with this crap.
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"What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am?"
- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 31, 2008 - 11:47pm.
Whores and laziness... sounds like some immaculate conception going on there! I forgot men had nothing to do with getting pregnant. Well, apes in your case.
Submitted by Fandango on August 31, 2008 - 11:49pm.
And again! Why, again, is it entirely the woman's fault/responsibility in the pregnancy issue?
Umbertoo, you will be banned very soon make no mistake about it, and when you are, you can take your narrow-minded, racist, ignorant, inbred, pimply fucked in the eye face and be free to spew your ignorance and hate on some other site, and the rest of us will rejoice in song and toast your demise. Cheers!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 31, 2008 - 11:41pm.
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REPORTED.
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 31, 2008 - 11:41pm.
you could never have a child like me....because i am white, descended from angels unlike you which was born from apes.
well yeah, sure, and plus my DNA also carries a code for brain cells too.
ps Lucifer was an angel....
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Don't want a baby? Don't get drunk on 10 lemon drops and let some unemployed loser blast cock jus in your dick chunnel.
The choice lies in not allowing that to happen, idiots.
Submitted by gladyslove on August 31, 2008 - 11:38pm.
Oh Lord, gladys.... so you use your personal experience. How then is it OK with you to have Sarah P as a VP she is against all birth control...
Oh and am not saying some women do use abortion as birth control and I agree that should not be, but just cause you did not get pregnant while on birth control does not mean others have not. I have some personal experience to tell you that birth control is not 100 percent. So please do not say all people who have abortions did them cause they were careless, I think the number of people who use birth control and accidentally get pregnant are the majority.____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everybody Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Submitted by jussayin on August 31, 2008 - 11:45pm.
Exactly! If it isn't hurting you, and it doesn't affect you, mind your own effing business!
That's why I don't give a damn whether the DS child is Sarah Palin's or her weird-named daughter's... it does not affect me. If they want to raise it that way, that is their prerogative.
What bothers ME is Mrs. Palin telling ME that she can control my reproductive decisions. I didn't tell her she could or couldn't carry her baby to term, so she has no right to tell me what to do with mine.
Sorry Retardooo, we're all descended from apes, even you. Especially you.
The only thing Daily Kooze is good for is to laugh at people with their heads firmly rammed up their asses, well past their upper sigmoids.
Goddamn, what a bunch of fukken morons.
shut up with the sex education angle. from sixth grade you know cumming makes babies. unwanted pregnancies comes down to two things....whores and laziness.
"How expensive are condoms? My husband and I used them for 4 years with no other method as back up and I never became pregnant and I am very fertile."
You also enjoy TMI moments.
gladyslove, you can waste your time preaching on a gossip site, you can light candles, you can pray until Jesus tells you to STFU, fact is, women have the choice, legally, nothing has changed and you won't change it. There are plenty of places on line where you will get a parade, clapping emoticons, kudos, whatever, for carrying your dismissive beliefs, your mission has failed here.
We sunk your Battleships.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by gladyslove on August 31, 2008 - 11:38pm.
That wasn't really an answer... you can use 10 different BC methods and still get pregnant. Even if every fertile woman between ages 12 - 70 was on the Pill, there would STILL be unwanted pregnancies. It is a fact of life.
So what should be done about these unwanted pregnancies?
Also, a lot of pro-lifers (like Mrs. Palin) are also anti-birth-control. THEY are the ones who should really be answering this question... in a world where using birth control is 'interfering with nature's will', who is supposed to care for and support the millions of unwanted children born each year?
*Submitted by Mopa on August 31, 2008 - 11:35pm. Who's to decide who's right? I suppose you think it's up to you to decide right and wrong.
...actually I think we can all agree on what is right and wrong...the issue is people wanting to control what other people do. Look if it's not hurting you or your life, then mind your own fucking business!! Don't tell me who to fuck, who to love, who to marry, and how many kids I should have. Don't worry about my sin, my soul, or none of it. Just be glad I'm not "murdering" you and yours.
...It's not like the thought hasn't crossed my mind....
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Submitted by gladyslove on August 31, 2008 - 10:35pm.
Actually, there aren't over a million abortions a year.
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss5609a1.htm
Why on earth would you assume that your experience is what happens to other women? I was told by several doctors that I could never become pregnant without the help of fertility treatments and guess what?
People go through so much in their lives that other people know nothing about and probably don't care about. How some stranger could assume that they know better what decisions should be made is arrogant and astounding to me. Plenty of things can and do happen during pregnancy. Who gets to make decisions regarding a womens pregnancy? I'm not just talking about abortion.
Do I get to make decisions regarding your life or your reproduction? I think you should have a child every year for the next ten years. Do I get to decide that?
Why are there so many abortions, Gladys? Well for one, you can thank George W and the conservative base for many of those, especially in teens and young adults. Funding has been cut extensively for sexual education programs across the nation and has been replaced with an "abstinence only" policy. How would you suggest a poor (again, economy, again, George W) and uneducated woman find out about and get access to drugs when funding has been cut for such programs? The higher the poverty rate and the lower the education level is in a city, you almost always see unwanted pregnancy rates rise. Why is that, I wonder?
Prayer? Did somebody say prayer?
Submitted by gladyslove on August 31, 2008 - 11:26pm
Two things, first and foremost, what the hell are you speaking of when you sit here in judgment of other people and call them immoral? I am pretty certain someone by the name of Jesus said something about people like you (and it was not that you are heading straight to heaven).
Also it appears you are doing drugs, the Republican Base is mobilizing and they are going to rule the Congress soon? For the sake of McCain, I am hoping you are not one of his blog spokewhores but then again, he has made some bad decisions before.... ____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everybody Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Submitted by Stoney on August 31, 2008 - 11:39pm.
Submitted by jussayin on August 31, 2008 - 11:39pm.
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LOL!!!!
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
oh my my my, praying for Roe vs. Wade to be undone.
I pray that Anderson Cooper is really a straight guy.
I pray that Phoebe Price will win an Academy award one day.
I pray Britney Spears will get a Noble Prize for her parenting skills.
How well are my prayers working?
*taps prayer watch, listens for a ticking sound*
Oh right, just as well as gladyslove's.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
the thought of having children like Diego, Gladys, or worse yet Robert/Umbertooo makes me want to furiously jab some sort of knitting implement deep into my own womb
y'all don't make the thought of abortion less appealing, that's for damn sure...
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
I also find it hilarious that pro-lifers think they can cure unwanted pregnancies by preaching abstinence. Yeah, ok. It's so much better to tell human beings with sexual urges to not have sex than to educate them on birth control, their bodies and reproduction. Best just to keep our kids in the dark rather than give them information, because redneck, uninformed grandma doesn't like talking about "dirty things". Yeah, because preaching abstinence has worked so well for kids like Jamie Lynne and Bristol, and the thousands of teens walking around high schools this very minute with bulging bellies. Yeah, keep up the old-school "family values" policies, you fucking morons.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
With full force - flinging chair towards Diego. I'd advise him to duck because I never miss.
Hey Aquarius:
Why are there 1 million abortions a year in 2008? In the United States? This is mind blowing.
There are so many good options for birth control today, from time-released hormone shots to hormone patches, to the new IUD rings that prevent pregnancy for up to 5 years to good old condoms. How expensive are condoms? My husband and I used them for 4 years with no other method as back up and I never became pregnant and I am very fertile. Also, the simplest method is to track your ovulation with nothing more complicated than a thermometer and a calendar. How hard is this people? Birth control is not rocket science. There is no excuse for the amount of unwanted pregnancies to be occuring in 2008. Maybe in the year 1908 but not today. Quit making excuses.
Submitted by No Words on August 31, 2008 - 11:34pm.
I think McCain's choice of Sarah Palin as his vice presidential nominee is the political version of "stunt casting"...he should have not tried to get "cute" with the American voting public.
much like the democrats electing the most inexperienced unaccomplished Presidential nominee EVER!!! What's good for the goose....
Bravo, Ronald Reagan. The Dlisted presidents seem to have more sense than the real one.
Submitted by diegovatrilla on August 31, 2008 - 10:30pm.
You mustn't keep very good company. In my book, people who tout lying, biased websites in the guise of providing information are callous bitches.
I guess we all have differing opinions of people. Who's to decide who's right? I suppose you think it's up to you to decide right and wrong.
maybe those callus bitches just need a pumice stone
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Submitted by speakit on August 31, 2008 - 11:32pm.
Of course not, those are the 'callus' bitches of whom s/he speaks.
Diego and gladys, walk a mile in someone's shoes (and learn to spell) before you begin making assumptions about the motives behind their choices.
@DiegoV,
Perhaps instead of condeming those women, you should try to find out more about their stories before judging them. We are all different. And in the end we are all the same.
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RUSTED SHUT. WILL WORK FOR PEENIES!
I think McCain's choice of Sarah Palin as his vice presidential nominee is the political version of "stunt casting"...he should have not tried to get "cute" with the American voting public.
Submitted by Ronald Reagan on August 31, 2008 - 11:32pm.
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LOL!!! Thank you. They just don't seem to get the hint....
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
Let me ask you something. Do you actually believe that if abortion was illegal there would be less abortions? No. It would regress to the time before it was legalized, in unsterile environments, where women, mothers, sisters, daughters, would often die. Do you care about those lives?
Submitted by aquarius on August 31, 2008 - 10:28pm.
I'll take a stab at answering for her/him.
'God will provide'.
God won't answer her/his simple prayer to overturn Roe vs Wade, but will provide for millions of unwanted children.
If you believe that, I got a nice website to show you.