Dear Maury, Your Assistance Is Needed
Everybody and their pet fish has been e-mailing me this story, so obviously that's a sign that I must post it. This is basically some Bree Van de Kamp shit. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, the chick who is running as McCain's VP, is being accused of faking one of her pregnancies. The Daily Kos thinks Sarah's teenage daughter, Bristol, is the real mother of Trig Paxton Van Palin.
Yes, Bristol and Trig. Sarah also has three other kids named Track, Willow and Piper. I think they were named after Pottery Barn candle scents.
Anydrama, the rumor is that Sarah, a pro-lifer, pretended to be pregnant while her then 16-year-old daughter was the one who was really carrying baby Trig. Escandalo! Here's some of the shit the Daily Kos is claiming:
In March, Sarah told everyone she was 7-months pregnant. Everyone including her staff said they were shocked to find out, because she didn't look pregnant to them. They also said she's always been thin, because she's a runner or some shit.Sarah's 16-year-old daughter Bristol was taken out of her high school for 5 to 8 months. The high school was told Bristol had mono.
While attending some Republican convention in Texas, Sarah began leaking amniotic fluid one month before her due date. She didn't check into the hospital. She gave her speech and then got on an 8-hour flight back to Alaska.
Sarah gave birth in a hospital 45-minutes from the airport. Trig, who was born with Down Syndrome, was one month premature. Sarah was back to work 3 days later.
I left out of a ton of details. Visit here, here and here if you give an eff. On the other side, there are a few pictures with Sarah sort of looking knocked up. Gawker also has a post claiming Bristol was in a car accident when she would have been seven months pregnant. The dude involved in the accident with Bristol said she "really didn't look pregnant," but he wasn't really staring at her belly.
I'm so confused. Maybe I'm the one who gave birth to baby Trig. Shit, maybe I'm the father. Maury! Please help us! It's the only way we can solve any of this. Bring them all on a very special episode of "The Maury Povich" show. I want Cindy McCain to read the DNA results though. That's if she can read it through her Vicodin haze. I also want Tina Fey and Megan Mullally to appear on the episode just so I can see them next to Sarah Palin.
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Ms. Underestimated, go fuck yourself. As if I base my opinions or get my news off of Dlisted. There is actually quite a lot of evidence accruing, and let's just say things aren't looking good for this heinous cunt. It is sad to see whatever hangups or issues you have inhibit you from seeing the truth or using your brain.
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I’m like an American princess. - Paris Hilton
I have things no heiress has. I've done it all on my own. Like a hustler. - Paris Hilton
Submitted by Jesus Christ on September 1, 2008 - 12:43am.
Wine, loaves of bread, and fish are in the other room. Please exit in an orderly fashion to the right. That is all.
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Other room? To the right? OMG Jesus is a crackhead.
Submitted by QueenCharisma on September 1, 2008 - 12:45am.
But E! (and Ryan Seacrest in particular) can go.
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Jesus is here, let's see what he can do!
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by Ms Underestimated on September 1, 2008 - 12:44am.
Ms U.
There are some dumb, ignorant sluts on this site...kiwikim & couch.roue to name a few. This story has already been discredited dumbasses. The picture was taken in 2006 and the baby was born in 2008. But being dumb as rocks you probably will still think it's her daughter's baby. Go to bed and pray for brains.
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Ha ha. At least my country didn't vote an asshole into the white house. Enjoy eating dog food in your old age because you are completely broke and don't have social security.
Submitted by Ms Underestimated on September 1, 2008 - 12:44am.
Lord, this is the second time you say this pic was from 2006.... no one is mentioning this pic as evidence of anything for the last 200 posts. Thanks for playing...
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Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everybody Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Her husband looks like every piece of white trash I see in an suv. Goatee in the white house...yee hah!
Did anyone see the trailer for the national guard before the movies lately-with kid rock and dale erdhardon junior? Fucking scares me. Appealing to the poorest dumbest demographic and not one of these mother fuckers have kids that serve. Not one Not a single member of congress has kids serving.
Submitted by Stoney on September 1, 2008 - 12:41am.
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LOL, I would agree with you, but I happen to like the True Life series on MTV. I just watched one about two deaf kids today that broke my heart! :(
But E! (and Ryan Seacrest in particular) can go.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
Submitted by Stoney on September 1, 2008 - 12:41am
BWAHHAHA! I was just going to mention the Sunset Tan Bimbos..(as it was also playing in the background here). I think collectively, the Sunset Tan group would be a better Vp than this bitch (on topic). They do have more experience on what people want --____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everybody Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Ms U.
There are some dumb, ignorant sluts on this site...kiwikim & couch.roue to name a few. This story has already been discredited dumbasses. The picture was taken in 2006 and the baby was born in 2008. But being dumb as rocks you probably will still think it's her daughter's baby. Go to bed and pray for brains.
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"What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am?"
- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Is the one in the orange the kid with downs? Where is the kid the teenager gave birth to? anybody have a link?
Wine, loaves of bread, and fish are in the other room. Please exit in an orderly fashion to the right. That is all.
ALL of you better register to vote. I couldn't stand to have this dumb bitch in the white house along with her fucked up kids.
why did they remove the pictures from the state of alaska web site of this teenager if they have nothing to hide?
Between Umbertoo and Sunset Tan playing in the background on E!, I really want to stab myself in the ears and eyes. Seriously, are those bitches for real on that show? The fact that uneducated vacuous whores with voices of bimbos are role models for our kids is almost scarier than the upcoming election. Can we please just bomb E! studios now? Make sure Ryan Semencrust is there, because he's responsible for these ridiculous shows. Then we can move on to MTV. That one has to go, too. This will perhaps be the only time I'm opposed to free speech, just so you know. Oh good, the show is finally over.
*heaves giant Midwestern ass out of chair and searches for remote*
*unbuttons mom jeans*
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Cooch.Roue on September 1, 2008 - 12:29am.
This fucking whore needs to sit the fuck down. Apparently her strong, Biblical morals and rock-solid teachings on abstinence couldn't even keep her own daughter from getting knocked up, so the pig has the fucking gall to machinate such a ridiculous scheme rather than just admit she was wrong.
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I married a man who comes from a pentecostal family. They abused him horribly and he's not pentecostal. But get this-four generations of accidental, out-of-wedlock, and accidental on purpose kids-including his travelling pentecostal preacher grandfather who used to go from town to town knocking up women. But the assholes bash my gay brother whenever they got the chance and tell me shit like the tsunami victims deserve what happened to them, god made it happen to them, because they lived in a non-christian place.I finally told them to fuck off. Seriously and literally.
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 1, 2008 - 12:27am.
Rofl! haha I love it. thanks for posting that. I had a rough day, this is just what i needed.
So, 400 comments. WTH did I miss?
She so looks like Tina Fey.
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She's flat and that's that!
Submitted by Kp on September 1, 2008 - 12:18am.
Already been banned twice......
Submitted by ROTFLMAO on September 1, 2008 - 12:07am.
Submitted by vanyvrgs on August 31, 2008 - 11:11pm.
Don't get me going on this again... there is nothing worse in life than people that completely contradict themselves when it comes to policy. I was just as this political site where some people mentioned how God protects all life and no one has a right to choose who lives or who dies... but when I mentioned their lack of help for those who are not aborted (and or the fact that they are not pro life in every instance) and then they had nothing. Just like here tonite...these assholes give religion a bad name.
It's the fucking Spears family in the white house. Bitch looks like lynn spears, names her kids dumb as shit names, seeks publicity, acts holier than thou while her own family is a fucking mess, and has hooker ho children. That girl is so fucking pregnant in this picture.
I'm hungry Jesus, give me some fish or loaves of bread, shit.
LMAO, Sandbitch! That's my new favorite video!
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mariah
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour
Makes sense. Most kids with downs these days are being born to teenage moms...not older moms. They probably didn't take her to the doctor and didn't get any testing.
Sorry about that, PSL. Just jealous that people are talking about presidents other than me, I guess. Gotta go to bed anyway. As you were. Bye
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"Please get that thing out of your nose Hayley. Thanks"
This fucking whore needs to sit the fuck down. Apparently her strong, Biblical morals and rock-solid teachings on abstinence couldn't even keep her own daughter from getting knocked up, so the pig has the fucking gall to machinate such a ridiculous scheme rather than just admit she was wrong. After all, how could she admit she was wrong when she's still on a mission to steamroll all over our individual liberties? This fucking retarded bitch thinks the founding fathers wrote the Pledge of Allegiance. Why terrorists behead innocent journalists rather than the real American enemies (cunts like Palin who like to trample all over the Constitution to make them feel powerful) I will never fucking know. God help us, if this woman is Vice-President I WILL MOVE TO CANADA, and I'm not fucking kidding. Eat shit and die, you gun-toting, war-mongering, bloodthirsty "pro-life" hunting thundercunt!
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I’m like an American princess. - Paris Hilton
I have things no heiress has. I've done it all on my own. Like a hustler. - Paris Hilton
This is me when umbertooo shows up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urSHvG_cxc0
Mr President, pick another thread! I;m sure some will follow.....
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Murray: Bands shouldn't have girlfriends - ok? You'll lose your female fanbase. Look at Wham, you never saw Wham with girlfriends - that's how they kept the women wanting them.
-Flight Of The Conchords
Submitted by Jesus Christ on September 1, 2008 - 12:21am.
Submitted by Jesus Christ on September 1, 2008 - 12:22am.
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ROFLMAO!!!! Thank you for lightening up this thread :D
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mimi
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
edited . nite.
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"Please get that thing out of your nose Hayley. Thanks"
Submitted by Jesus Christ on September 1, 2008 - 12:21am.
Gladyslove, STFU.
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LMAO.. Hey while you're here, got any wine?
Please... The important thing here is why the hell does she pull her hair up like that and wear glasses like a little old school teacher? Something is going on there big time...
P.s.
Stop praying to me, I can't fix all your fuckin' problems.
Good night Kids!
This old lady is going to bed.
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RUSTED SHUT. WILL WORK FOR PEENIES!
Gladyslove, STFU.
Submitted by paris herpes on September 1, 2008 - 12:05am.
It's a damn contentious argument and it's way too huge for a gossip blog
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You're right, but it is liberating to discuss it. Maybe someday it will be considered an equal option, instead of a shameful, guilty, keep it hush hush option.
I feel no shame. I know who I am and I like me. :)
So how many times does MK allow let one poster *ahem* dispicable racist statements before he bans them?
Or maybe MK likes to watch the shit fly?
Mr. President seems to be kind of pissed off about something... or am I imagining things?
Submitted by jussayin on September 1, 2008 - 12:07am.
It's also hard to find a porn site without his mom on it, not that he particularly cares.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by jussayin on September 1, 2008 - 12:04am.
Submitted by speakit on September 1, 2008 - 12:00am.
I like Umbertooooooooooooo !
He never makes a valid point, he's not well written, he makes many grammatical errors. Pretty much the random sampling of any racist.
Only proving how stupid it is.
....more like speshul.
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Mebbe he could change his name to Ed!
Then this could be his theme song. Every freak needs a theme song!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijFetGGrhRw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijFetGGrhRw&feature=related♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
I love how the political and Brangelina threads get the most hits...anyhow, you guys are having WAY too much fun in here and I'm actually not crabby for once so let me not get started. Have a good night all, and be nice to the idiots posting; they don't know any better.
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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
Submitted by vanyvrgs on August 31, 2008 - 11:11pm.
My husband and I just had the same discussion. That is exactly my point. They want to be able to force people to have children and when the poor people look to the gov't for help, they are marching there too, because their tax dollars are being spent on these kids.
No Read, No Shade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I just arrive from another planet or do so many of these posts seem off topic? Anyway, I don't like Obama but it's fairly clear from the foto that Palin's daughter is preggers. Although I alwayz looked 3 mos. along myself:) Think McC made a mistake with his choice but Obama still untrustworthy 2 me.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on September 1, 2008 - 12:04am.
What does he do with the other 59 minutes and 30 seconds, and does he mop up with his white hood?
...well it takes him that long to negotiate to a free porn site, and then there's probably that daily debate on whether to go righty or lefty? You know, the truly hard choices in life!
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
My spidey sense tells me Umbertooooooo is stroking it to some hot black guy-on-guy porn right about now... you know how it is with the hardcore racist pro-lifers, they hate themselves the most.
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 31, 2008 - 10:55pm.
Oh be sure, you WILL be banned. And that's a fucking promise.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Some women have children and clearly are so fucking unprepared and not mature enough to have children. They were not given the option of abortion because they were poor and could not afford one or were forced to keep the child despite them not really wanting to have a child in the first place. And their are few women who treat abortions like birth control and that too is wrong. That doesn't mean that the option should be taken away from us either though! The young women who get pregnant @ 14 or 15 years of age deserve to have that right and be able to get an abortion without parental consent because sometimes parents are so anti-abortion they'll force their own children to have children, which I feel is so wrong on so many levels. IF you're not READY to have a child, you should have the option of not ruining its life and having it if you're not prepared to raise it or go through the trouble of being pregnant if it's not the right TIME in your life. This is a modern fucking society and we have these options. Why do we feel like we have to regress to the stone age as women and start having the government control our lives?! They should mind their own fucking business, it doesn't harm anyone if one woman has an abortion. Many would argue it harms the "unborn child", but honestly, that barely formed sack of cells is not even alive in the sense that we're alive, breathing and existing in the world as human beings. It's a damn contentious argument and it's way too huge for a gossip blog, dammit!
Your face!
Submitted by speakit on September 1, 2008 - 12:00am.
I like Umbertooooooooooooo !
He never makes a valid point, he's not well written, he makes many grammatical errors. Pretty much the random sampling of any racist.
Only proving how stupid it is.
....more like speshul. I guarantee this one was once a short bus rider.
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
well hellllooooo everyone....why am I not surprised that this is the thread with all the controversy/comments?
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Murray: Bands shouldn't have girlfriends - ok? You'll lose your female fanbase. Look at Wham, you never saw Wham with girlfriends - that's how they kept the women wanting them.
-Flight Of The Conchords
Submitted by jussayin on September 1, 2008 - 12:02am.
What does he do with the other 59 minutes and 30 seconds, and does he mop up with his white hood?
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Oh gosh Mopa, good luck with that! Whatever your reaction is, it's gotta be better than my mom's -- "Uh... so do you, uh, need some Tampax or something?" (I was the oldest, I think she refined her method a bit before my sister got to that age).
Submitted by Cara on September 1, 2008 - 12:00am.
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on August 31, 2008 - 11:47pm.
I second that Cara. Much love to ya BB!
Submitted by angel_i on August 31, 2008 - 11:52pm.
O Umbertooo...you have been quiet...are these love letters...? They are, aren't they?
...nah, usually he has to get off the computer for a minute so his parents think he's asleep, or tak an hour for his masturbatory activities...
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.