Dear Maury, Your Assistance Is Needed
Everybody and their pet fish has been e-mailing me this story, so obviously that's a sign that I must post it. This is basically some Bree Van de Kamp shit. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, the chick who is running as McCain's VP, is being accused of faking one of her pregnancies. The Daily Kos thinks Sarah's teenage daughter, Bristol, is the real mother of Trig Paxton Van Palin.
Yes, Bristol and Trig. Sarah also has three other kids named Track, Willow and Piper. I think they were named after Pottery Barn candle scents.
Anydrama, the rumor is that Sarah, a pro-lifer, pretended to be pregnant while her then 16-year-old daughter was the one who was really carrying baby Trig. Escandalo! Here's some of the shit the Daily Kos is claiming:
In March, Sarah told everyone she was 7-months pregnant. Everyone including her staff said they were shocked to find out, because she didn't look pregnant to them. They also said she's always been thin, because she's a runner or some shit.Sarah's 16-year-old daughter Bristol was taken out of her high school for 5 to 8 months. The high school was told Bristol had mono.
While attending some Republican convention in Texas, Sarah began leaking amniotic fluid one month before her due date. She didn't check into the hospital. She gave her speech and then got on an 8-hour flight back to Alaska.
Sarah gave birth in a hospital 45-minutes from the airport. Trig, who was born with Down Syndrome, was one month premature. Sarah was back to work 3 days later.
I left out of a ton of details. Visit here, here and here if you give an eff. On the other side, there are a few pictures with Sarah sort of looking knocked up. Gawker also has a post claiming Bristol was in a car accident when she would have been seven months pregnant. The dude involved in the accident with Bristol said she "really didn't look pregnant," but he wasn't really staring at her belly.
I'm so confused. Maybe I'm the one who gave birth to baby Trig. Shit, maybe I'm the father. Maury! Please help us! It's the only way we can solve any of this. Bring them all on a very special episode of "The Maury Povich" show. I want Cindy McCain to read the DNA results though. That's if she can read it through her Vicodin haze. I also want Tina Fey and Megan Mullally to appear on the episode just so I can see them next to Sarah Palin.
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Who looks pregnant in that photo? Sarah? No. Bristol? Yes.
OH shit, I guess it is possible. Then again someone may be watching too much Desperate Housewives.
ANd when was this picture taken anyway? I need to see the other two kids.....____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
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My sister missed and entire year of high school because of mono. She was even in the hospital for 2 months. Does the media really need to be dragging a special needs child through the mud?
Caribou burger bloat.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
...low rise pregnancy jeans.
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
That picture looks like it belongs in a Jcpenny catalog.
Submitted by OneLiner on August 31, 2008 - 6:22pm.
I think the teenager's belly is due to low rise jeans and not Pregnancy....
OR a gigantic fart!
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"Two languages in one head? No one can live at that speed! Good Lord man, you're asking the impossible!"
I am the buyer for Pottery Barn candles, homescents and candleholders and I just want to say thanks for the shout out!!!!
-Don
let's not drag the dailykos into this. Someone posted a conspiracy diary and plenty of commenters called BS.
I think the teenager's belly is due to low rise jeans and not Pregnancy....
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
Where was John Edwards during all of this?
Somethin' in the milk ain't clean.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
There are people in this world who dress up and act like clowns; I don’t like these people.
so typical
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
OhMySatan, a lying politician? Not in this lifetime!
Btw-FIIIIIIRRRRRSSSSSSTTTTT!
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"Two languages in one head? No one can live at that speed! Good Lord man, you're asking the impossible!"
LOL! I can't wait til the elections are over this shit feels it's been taking forever.
*mumbles*
I totally send all these threads to CNN, Anderson Cooper's feedback on his blog specifically....
*whistles*
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Oh shit, a hypocrite Republican elite!
No fucking way!!
O the DRAH-MA!
Sounds like a bunch of silliness to me.
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Of course the Daily Kos has no axe to grind, right? I'll wait and see what comes out of this over the few days before making a judgment.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Mono wouldn't have someone out of school/work for eight months! Maybe a couple of weeks.
Just sayin'...
ΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨ
Skanky whores always think that looking sexy means looking like you're getting double-penetrated. -Michael K
... and then she told Bristol, "From here forward, you keep your petticoats under your skirt. I'm leaving in the wagon now to trade some chickens for a sack of flour. Berore I get back, go milk Elsie and fetch some water from the well."
"I think they were named after Pottery Barn candle scents"
hahahahahahahaha, what, no Ocean Spa Breeze?
Welcome to the Real Political Games Sarah, having fun yet?
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Juicy drama. Wouldn't surprise me given how rabidly pro-life that woman is. She's against abortion even in cases of rape and incest.
I'm not a fan of this woman, but this is some flimsy-ass bullshit to dig up against her. Pfft.
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"I still think we should find a way to let Brangelina know that there are people out here who love them and want to wish them all the best… I wanna write a poem like some other people did but I’m not that smart. "