Saint Angelina Is Tired
Woe is Saint Angelina. Not only does she have to rule the world, but she also has to raise her child army and keep up a house the size of Parasite Hilton's snatch. Even with the help of nannies, all that work has drained Angie Jo and she's been forced to seek medical attention. That's what Now Magazine (via entertainmentwise) claims anyway.
A source said, "She's in tears up to three times a day and so tired that Brad's found her collapsed asleep in the bath twice. She's been working around the clock, breast-feeding the babies and trying to get them to sleep. But as soon as one of them drops off, the other wakes up for another feed. She's also not eating very much right now and blames that on being busy. The doctor says that she needs more calories to gain strength and ensure that her breast milk is healthy."
I find this hard to believe. First of all, the twin chosen ones already make every meal for their family. I mean, they are Le Cordon Bleu trained gourmet chefs after all. Second of all, Maddox doesn't need to be taken care of and he pretty much rules Zahara and Pax. Third of all, Shiloh lives in an ivory tower in a land far, far away, so she's not even a problem.
And she collapsed in the bath, because she accidentally caught a glimpse of her holy image in the mirror and passed out.
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I just love it when women pop out babies like they're boogers then have the audacity to complain about how tired they are.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by K2 on August 29, 2008 - 3:47pm.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 29, 2008 - 3:35pm.
This is not meant to be snarky, but a question for the moms: Are your husbands not willing to watch the kids for half an hour so you can have alone time at night every now and then, say, for a bath?
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We freaked you out with all that "baseball cap" talk, didn't we?
Remember, the baseball cap is not only for the moms. I used to wear them on my hangover weekends too - back in the day of course (*sigh*).
Motherhood will do that to ya. Especially the first few months after giving birth. I like Angie, but this is not a pretty picture. lol
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RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by Hairicane on August 29, 2008 - 3:40pm.
love your avie LCT.
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LIKEWISE. Yours is my favourite.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by Clarisse on August 29, 2008 - 3:43pm.
And since you love bunnies...let me introduce you to Max and McKenna...
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OMG! they are so fat and adorable! They're colors are like Holstein cows.
And these are your little ones?? I love their noses! and ears and gigantic hind legs and they're all around goodness.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 29, 2008 - 3:35pm.
This is not meant to be snarky, but a question for the moms: Are your husbands not willing to watch the kids for half an hour so you can have alone time at night every now and then, say, for a bath?
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Honestly, I can't speak on behalf of anyone else, but my husband was great when my child was first born. The man commuted to work at 6am came home at 6:30pm - cooked dinner for us - helped with feedings - and let me sleep from 8:30pm til the 2am feeding! Then he got up at 5am and got ready for work. Not alot of husbands are that supportive. When you're going to sleep at 8 or 9pm , the last thing your thinking about is a shower or bath. You just want to hit the pillow. Of course he'd watch my child for me to shower.. it was just take me a day or 2 to muster up the energy. Of course after you get passed those nightly feedings - things look up from there. Sorry for the rant, but you asked.
Hairicaine,
Well not physically fight...just a pissing contest. You know how men are.
And since you love bunnies...let me introduce you to Max and McKenna...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/maxnmckenna/2297514737/
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Submitted by KidL on August 29, 2008 - 2:59pm.
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Not just you. She was NEVER the most beautiful woman in the world - that was all hype. I can name a few women off the top of my head easily that are more beautiful than she is: Monica Bellucci, Thandie Newton (although, she too needs to eat more), Aishwarya Rai, Salma Hayek, Natalie Portman, Halle Berry, etc.
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Submitted by M.E. on August 29, 2008 - 3:34pm.
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Oh please no! I can just see the numerous interviews with her whining now. And God forbid she pulls a Brooke Shields and writes a book! We'll never hear the end of this shit.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mariah
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
Clarisse on August 29, 2008 - 3:40pm
Iz gonna make u pooz.
OKAY WOW!
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by Clarisse on August 29, 2008 - 3:40pm.
Oh no LCT!!!
Now i am mentally farting the SSB!!! Don't make my laugh!!! I have to be on the Down Low!
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Me too! I think next I'm going to mentally fart YMCA.
*Pfffffffffffffft pfffft pf-pfft pf-pf-pf-pf-pf-pf pffffffffffffffft pfffft pf-pfft*
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by Sugaroo on August 29, 2008 - 3:36pm.
My husband watches the kids three times a day while I cry. No more than three times.
STOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!! AHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAA.....
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"If she's {Jenna Jameson} a devout Catholic, then I'm Mary Full of Grace."
His Holiness MK, 8/25/08
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 29, 2008 - 3:35pm.
This is not meant to be snarky, but a question for the moms: Are your husbands not willing to watch the kids for half an hour so you can have alone time at night every now and then, say, for a bath?
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Mine had no choice. I invented the Tag You're It game.
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 29, 2008 - 3:37pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on August 29, 2008 - 3:36pm.
What happens if you cry four times? He takes your Botox away and makes you eat a salad?
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No, then he makes the dog fart the Star Spangled Banner while I sleep in the tub.
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
Submitted by Clarisse on August 29, 2008 - 3:40pm.
I'm sitting in a meeting watching the VP of Engineering fight with the VP of Purchasing.
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really?
love your avie LCT.
dayum you guys are freakin' hilarious!
Oh no LCT!!!
Now i am mentally farting the SSB!!! Don't make my laugh!!! I have to be on the Down Low!
I'm sitting in a meeting watching the VP of Engineering fight with the VP of Purchasing.
"When Egos Collide!"
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Submitted by rotten_egg on August 29, 2008 - 3:36pm.
Well, well.. if true, then HA HA! to her. Nobody forced them to breed and adopt orphans like bunnies.
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Awwwwwwww. I love bunnies.
Did you see Donnie Darko? remember that scene where the girls are talking about how the school was flooded? One girl says to the two others, "The locker room was flooded and there were pheces everywhere!" Girl #3 says, "What's pheces?" And the 2nd girl says, "Baby mice." The third girl says, "Awwwwhhhh...~"
Submitted by Sugaroo on August 29, 2008 - 3:36pm.
My husband watches the kids three times a day while I cry. No more than three times.
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What happens if you cry four times? He takes your Botox away and makes you eat a salad?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
hahahah Sugarooo
"Pfft pfft pfft pfft pfft pffffffffffffft pfft p-pfft pfft pfft pfft!"
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
My husband watches the kids three times a day while I cry. No more than three times.
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
Submitted by M.E. on August 29, 2008 - 3:34pm.
Diagnosis of "PPD" in 5, 4, 3, 2....
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rilly!
the sad thing is it will be the cover up for her smack attack. she prolly starting shooting up as soon as brad was out of sight!
Well, well.. if true, then HA HA! to her. Nobody forced them to breed and adopt orphans like bunnies. I'll go and slit my wrists for Saint Angelina now, because she's suffering and all that. Pfft!.
She looks haggard. Are we sure she's not 40+?. I also forgot she has fucked up fan teeth.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
This is not meant to be snarky, but a question for the moms: Are your husbands not willing to watch the kids for half an hour so you can have alone time at night every now and then, say, for a bath?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on August 29, 2008 - 3:32pm.
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LoL. that, too. DGASD! Don't Give A S**t Day!
Diagnosis of "PPD" in 5, 4, 3, 2....
wow. still no Brangeloonies!! Where are they? LoL. was that one banned for good?
Submitted by Sugaroo on August 29, 2008 - 12:21pm.
She cries "up to" three times per day. No more than that. The fourth time she farts the Star Bangled Banner.
LMMFAO...omg seriously i had to walk out class for laughing so hard at that....hahahahaaaaaaaaa
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"If she's {Jenna Jameson} a devout Catholic, then I'm Mary Full of Grace."
His Holiness MK, 8/25/08
Submitted by Hairicane on August 29, 2008 - 12:31pm.
i ain't never done the baby thang, but let's hear it for gals in baseball caps!! Bad hair day? Baseball cap! Running errands before showering?Baseball cap! Doing any major cleaning or painting? Baseball cap! Lost your make-up bag? BASEBALL CAP!!
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Just simply doesn't give a shit: Baseball Cap!
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by K2 on August 29, 2008 - 3:27pm.
I think I had a baseball cap glued to my head for the first 3 months!!
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i ain't never done the baby thang, but let's hear it for gals in baseball caps!! Bad hair day? Baseball cap! Running errands before showering?Baseball cap! Doing any major cleaning or painting? Baseball cap! Lost your make-up bag? BASEBALL CAP!!
when they get dirty, just put em in the washer and hang dry! I have 10 easily!
Pimpcessa - LOL. Sure enough she will emerge in the coming weeks rail thin.
Submitted by judelaw on August 29, 2008 - 3:28pm.
how the hell did angelina fall for bald pitt? seriously, he seems so uninteresting and stupid
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LOL...I thought I was the only one who thought this!!!
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
Somewhere Billy Bob is telling someone her phase is almost over.
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Dick happens! - MK
how the hell did angelina fall for bald pitt? seriously, he seems so uninteresting and stupid.
Sugaroo,
"She cries "up to" three times per day. No more than that. The fourth time she farts the Star Bangled Banner."
OMG! That made me almost nose spew!!!
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
I have a big ole sunken jetted tub. I've used it once in the three years I've had it, the night I had my 2nd child.
I have no time for baths. Pfft. I get the 7 minute shower in the am.
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I'm with you on this. I agree. When I had my FIRST child, I think I too used the jacuzzi tub maybe one time. Other than that, I think I had a baseball cap glued to my head for the first 3 months!!
Submitted by Sugaroo on August 29, 2008 - 12:21pm.
She cries "up to" three times per day. No more than that. The fourth time she farts the Star Bangled Banner.
Brad just sits there going, "Yes, dear" while whiffing the sheets.
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ROTFLMAO!!!!! *snort while laughing*
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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She's probably in the tub cutting herself while brad walks the red carpet with his lover George. If you combine not eating, cutting and bleeding ... it should be enough to make her pass out!
Oh and just to be a bitch, I'm gonna throw this observation out there: Again, notice how Brad has been seen out with Zahara and his mom (more than once since the twins arrival), now he's been seen with Maddox and Pax ... and yet poor Shiloh is still left behind. That poor baby can't get a break. Someone send her over to Jen's for a sleep over and a spa treatment!
She cries "up to" three times per day. No more than that. The fourth time she farts the Star Bangled Banner.
Brad just sits there going, "Yes, dear" while whiffing the sheets.
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on August 29, 2008 - 2:50pm.
Am I the only one who hates Brad more than Angie?
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possibly. your clown avie isn't helping you either.
(but i say that with kindness in mah heart!)
Imagine if she had to work a nine to five job and take care of her kids on her own??? She has no clue.
And when you mainline heroin in the tub, yes, you will fall asleep next to the rubber ducky
Submitted by KidL on August 29, 2008 - 2:49pm.
Forgive me if I don't shed tears for this attention ****e. Frankly, I don't believe it. Despite their claims, I would bet money that each kid has their own nanny.
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truf! as i said. she's WASTED. that's what the passing out is all about.
Submitted by K2 on August 29, 2008 - 11:11am.
Well if she would actually put 3 of those kids in a REAL FUCKING school - then that would only leave her with 3 throughout the day. Add a nanny for each of them and a cook - and she has it made in the shade!
Yeah, this is her PR spin on why she's not tagging along with Brad on the red carpet... she's too tired. That's just a nice way of saying, "we're fighting like cats and dogs and if I were to attend this event I would scratch his eyes out for all the world to see"!
P.S. I'd like to know who the hell has 6 kids under the age of 7 and has time to take a freakin' bath (more than once no less)!? Even one or two kids usually will put a new mother on the every other day shower routine. She's falling asleep in the tub and who's watching the 6 kids? They are so full of shit about not having around the clock help and an army of staff.
I have a big ole sunken jetted tub. I've used it once in the three years I've had it, the night I had my 2nd child.
I have no time for baths. Pfft. I get the 7 minute shower in the am.
smack attack?
junk punkd?
Another thing...i bet she DOESNT breastfeed her twins. I tried to with mine, but there was NO way i could keep up with their needs. I'm a normal size woman too...unlike Skeletina. I doubt her baby feeders could hold a thimble full. Maybe she just has them on her eat once a week diet. Grrrrr....she makes me mad.
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much -- just an occasional sun visor. -Groucho Marx
Submitted by Stoney on August 29, 2008 - 2:42pm.
Maybe she should have thought of this when that overpaid doctor was implanting those fertilized eggs in her uterus.
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Say no more.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by KidL on August 29, 2008 - 11:59am.
Maybe it is just me, but I really don't get why so many people think this woman is the Most Beautiful Woman in the World. I think she looks like a Bratz Doll on meth. . .
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Neither Angelina or Brad are "pretty" anymore. They sucked all the hotness out of each other within 3 frikkin years !!!!
Angie - maybe popping out 3 kids in quick succession to stop your man running back to his ex wasn't as good a plan as it seemed at first huh? Babies aren't just to help steal other people's husbands Angelina, they're for life. You kept the man, now take care of all those kids.
Brad - you wanted kids and boy, you've got them baby! But maybe you should be a little more careful what you wish for in the future - not sure 6 screaming kids under the age of 6 were quite what you had in mind.
And puh-lease with these exhaustion stories. My guess is the heroin-use is getting harder and harder to keep quiet and the PR is putting out anything they can to cover it up. One nanny per child and you're exhausted? Whatever!
M.E.
Nah, let the bitch starve.
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Can I just say,
HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SUCKER!
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
She should be FORCE FED! Bitch didn't eat while pregnant, isn't eating durning breastfeeding.
Those twins are fucked.
Bring in the barley water!