Saint Angelina Is Tired
Woe is Saint Angelina. Not only does she have to rule the world, but she also has to raise her child army and keep up a house the size of Parasite Hilton's snatch. Even with the help of nannies, all that work has drained Angie Jo and she's been forced to seek medical attention. That's what Now Magazine (via entertainmentwise) claims anyway.
A source said, "She's in tears up to three times a day and so tired that Brad's found her collapsed asleep in the bath twice. She's been working around the clock, breast-feeding the babies and trying to get them to sleep. But as soon as one of them drops off, the other wakes up for another feed. She's also not eating very much right now and blames that on being busy. The doctor says that she needs more calories to gain strength and ensure that her breast milk is healthy."
I find this hard to believe. First of all, the twin chosen ones already make every meal for their family. I mean, they are Le Cordon Bleu trained gourmet chefs after all. Second of all, Maddox doesn't need to be taken care of and he pretty much rules Zahara and Pax. Third of all, Shiloh lives in an ivory tower in a land far, far away, so she's not even a problem.
And she collapsed in the bath, because she accidentally caught a glimpse of her holy image in the mirror and passed out.
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This Brangeloonie doesn't give a flying fuck about what this story says. Her kids look happy and well taken care of. She hasn't had a public photo in a minute considered and yet folks are ready to pounce. MK I loves you like a fake cousin and all, but come on dude. Angelina hasn't made one appearance since she did promotions in May and yet as soon as you post some tabloid mess people jump. This thread will reach 300 by tomorrow no doubt. I would never attack someone for not liking Angelina but stop acting like she's this horrible mother when all her kids seem to be doing okay. I mean damn even if she indulges their every whim(Please don't let them become Paris) she still seems like a mom who loves her kids. Brangeloonies like me get branded for loving her enough to give her brake but what about folks who jump on any morsel to take her down a notch or two? A middle ground would be acceptable but seriously she isn't the devil. All of her babies will do just fine. Angie's obsessed enough to make sure of that.
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I love my Brangelina like I love my stilettos...Hot, sexy, and a pain in the ass.
Saint Angelina may be tired, but more than anything, she's tiresome.
MK you crack me to bits. "chosen ones, an ivory white tower, holy image" i love it
rotten_egg,
They have free run of the house and never go outside. They are litter box trained. VERY clean animals! The key is that they are spayed/neutered...and because they are herbivores, the litter box doesn't "stink" like a cats.
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
I felt bad for her b/c twins are alot of work and she has 6 other kids to attend to.
But then I remembered she is a mulitmillonaire w/ a bunch of nannies and resources so I was like eh. lol
Saint accordion teeth? Snow plow teeth? hehehe. Hahaha!. Those choppers come on handy to efficiently open the bags of junk food her kids seem to eat.. or to clean off the dry chunks of poo off Brad Pitt's anus.
Clarisse:
Curious question, how do you keep them clean? and how do you clean their pee and poo?. Can they be house/potty trained or they soil everywhere?. I've never had bunnies as pets, can you tell?.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
rotten_egg,
LOL! No. I don't make my bunnies shower. They never leave the house and are litter trained. No dirty feets!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/maxnmckenna/2247375030/in/set-7215760350409...
Mrs K!
Minch doesn't need a secretary, he has you!!! Who does better PR for Minch than you??
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 30, 2008 - 7:23am.
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 29, 2008 - 2:21pm.
:)
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I didn't meet my mom until I was 36! And girlfriend, am I glad!
Submitted by Hekki on August 29, 2008 - 2:26pm.
Mrs. K: You have Minch!
Ah, yes. Minch.
He walks down 4th Avenue like he is the King of all he sees. His life is one big parade and he is the Grand Marshal. He needs a secretary to answer his fan mail.
My friends who have a 23-year old told me and Pudge that we are the smartest people they know (for not having kids).
In my next life I will be Michelle Duggar.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
On Topic:
Dear Angie,
Please don't pee on my neck and tell me it's raining.
Thank you.
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
Mrs. K: You have Minch! And he will never break a brand new bottle of very spendy perfume or borrow your car and crash it or tell you you're the worst mom ever or marry a stripper or have to go fight in a war.
When I told my old boss I was pregnant, he shook his head sadly and said "You should have just gotten a dog." He has three grown children and he said if he had it to do over he wouldn't have had them. (He's an old grouch and his kids seem nice, but...)
Angelina Jolie could double as a snow plow with those teeth, seriously.
All those kids and she's just NOW in tears?!
I don't believe anything St. Accordion Teeth says.
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 29, 2008 - 2:21pm.
:)
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
I have resigned myself to either becoming the bestest step parent, grew up with step parents and/or being the "Aunt" friend that always sneaks candy to my friends kids.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by FatMartha on August 29, 2008 - 2:18pm.
Sorry was that creepy?
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No, it is very sweet.
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 30, 2008 - 7:13am.
Mrs K, motherhood is waaay over-rated. Once you give birth to a child your life is consumed by guilt and anxiety. And if it isn't... well, refer Caycee Anthony.
Submitted by NovaNightly on August 29, 2008 - 2:17pm.
Don't make me laugh, sweetie. The Kravitz name dies with me.
But last night I took this online Health Questionaire for work and I must have checked YES when they asked if I was pregnant because afterwards when they did the summary and analysis they said I should consider cutting out alcohol if I was pregnant, and that I need to eat more!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
Angelina Who?
Submitted by Stock Broker on August 29, 2008 - 4:11pm
My bosoms are always here for you, dear...
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Sorry for all the mommy mumbo jumbo everyone....shutting up now. :D I gots work to do anywho...
smooches.
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much -- just an occasional sun visor. -Groucho Marx
Dawww, with all this gushing about kiddies and loveydovey stuff I have to say: You girlies were like my surrogate mothers and sisters over the summer (You know, the cool moms of friends that are more friends than mom-ish?). Yesh. That was you. I LOVE YOU ALL and you are all BEAUTIFUL LADIES. :]
Sorry was that creepy?
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When FatMartha pees the bed
and some poop gets on her head
Don't return her calls bloop bloop
she needs to clean her stalls bloop bloop
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
Submitted by Hekki on August 29, 2008 - 1:57pm.
Edited because I completely misread Hekki's previous comment.
And as much as I love my life I know that when they first put that newborn in your arms you feel a love like you have never ever felt before.
♥
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
Gosh Mrs K...you know that if you try now to have a baby you might just end up with *gasp* TWINS!!!!
Yup...our bodies start kicking out multiple eggs when we get older. Its a survival thing or something...the body wants to make sure you get pregnant. lol...or something. Besides all the IVF in hollywood...this is probably why a lot of these women having babies later in life are having twins. Just my theory though.
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much -- just an occasional sun visor. -Groucho Marx
Submitted by sonah22 on August 29, 2008 - 4:01pm.
Ugh---all you people's mommy stories...I'm hading to PParenthood right now. Eff this.
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Can I carpool with you?
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When FatMartha pees the bed
and some poop gets on her head
Don't return her calls bloop bloop
she needs to clean her stalls bloop bloop
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
LTC, I think it depends on the men. My husband is the oldest of four, so he was pretty used to screaming children and poopy diapers. I know I am lucky, as I have lots of help with the kids, and the kind of job I have lets me be a lot more flexible than others. I am in awe of some of you.
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Isn't Putin Grand?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4088345.stm
Yup...our babysitters are my mom, my mother-in-law, or my best friends 15 year old brother who is awesome with my boys! :D Thats it.
I dont trust anyone else either....
If Angie's kids are at all attached to her...she probably has to hear them screaming for her at all hours. I know my boys do that...and all i did was leave the room to go to the bathroom. lol As for her being tired...i have NO sympathy for her...she has the money and power to have good care. PLUS...she wanted the huge family...so now she can just relish it and STFU. Probably just PPD anyway.
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much -- just an occasional sun visor. -Groucho Marx
MonkeyPox ~ thanks, I feel much better now.
On Topic: zzzzzzzzzz
meh..i had enough of angelina. there are other celebrities ..like charlize for example who looked like a real star at the venice film festival. i guess she needs to collect some children for her to draw some very much deserved attention.
For all of you who dont have kids or are contemplating having them. It may be hard work, but its worth it! Yes, its time consuming...but the love and happiness you get from it makes up for that. theres no describing it. :D
Anyway...i love you dlisters just the same. You brighten my life too! ;D
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much -- just an occasional sun visor. -Groucho Marx
Submitted by lara on August 29, 2008 - 4:39pm.
this thread is like the funniest ever. i am LMAO. all the mothers here concerned about angelina's kids saying like they don't have time for a bath. all this while posting all day ...hahah too funny indeed.
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maybe you should re read the posts. You'll see that the majority of us were talking about what it was like when our children were newborns and the first year of life. Past tense.
The only babysitters I have are family, either grandparents and my SIL. I did have my brothers ex girlfriend, but she just went off to boot camp...so, back to only family.
I don't trust people I don't know.
Submitted by Hekki on August 29, 2008 - 1:57pm.
Mrs. K: The most horrible thing about having kids is that I have a huge, gaping, vulnerable spot.
All it would take to ruin me would be for something to happen to one of my kids. It's like being immune-compromised or something. The littlest thing can kill you.
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OMGosh Hekki....WORD!!!! That is the HARDEST thing about having kids fer sure! I want to protect them from everything...but know that i cant. :(
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much -- just an occasional sun visor. -Groucho Marx
Submitted by Clarisse on August 30, 2008 - 6:13am.
rotten_egg
"Besides, their little paws are always stained yellow with pee."
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Clarisse! I love the smell of bunny and straw. When I was liddle, I had a big fat white bunny called um, Snowball. Anyhoo, one fine day Snowball had enough of my squeezing fuckery and in his escape, scratched me a nice new smile with his left rear paw claws. Y'know, the stained yellow with pee paws. Calling Dr Bombay!
Mrs K.,
I too have a fruitless womb. Peace and tranquility reign. Breakables are on tables and plugs are uncovered. I get up when i want, i go to bed when i want. I can decide to take a weekend roadtrip on a Friday evening and just go...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
But, Kudos to all you moms =)
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
In all seriousness, it sounds like she has post-partum depression. Hopefully her doctor is on top of that shit.
Ugh---all you people's mommy stories...I'm hading to PParenthood right now. Eff this.
However, I hope they bring you much happiness and joy and I ADMIRE your work.
Ooh...let's play Predict Their Futures! What do you guys think?
Brad: Old trainwreck hounded by the paps while drunk off his ass on Hollywood Blvd.
Angie: She'll always be pretending and come out on top and probably write a book about the whole thing. We'll still be on here trying to diss her ass to no avail. But all the jilted women in the world who hate her ass will feel the justice when they break up.
JenJen: Pregnant by a sperm donor. Good career blahblah.
Maddox: Rock Star with drug problems
Pax: Will blow up his school, if he ever goes to one. If not, will blow up their castle.
Zahara: She actually looks like she has some sense. Will probably become a UN pres or some shiz.
Shiloh: See Kimbo Stewart.
The twins: Just like the trollsens, but lazier.
Angelina looks like shit, now she is starting to discover how hard it is being a "saint". I don't feel sorry for her. Adopting and having more children biologically will only add to the stress and angelina may end up resenting her children. Being a mother is alot harder than angelina might have thought.
Mrs. K: The most horrible thing about having kids is that I have a huge, gaping, vulnerable spot.
All it would take to ruin me would be for something to happen to one of my kids. It's like being immune-compromised or something. The littlest thing can kill you.
You probably feel the same way about Minch.
Moms, can you tell me how many babysitting offers you've actually been able to cash in on?
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Hardly any. Actually I don't even think people offer anymore. I ended up babysitting for my sister today... plus I had my own. Two 3 years olds and an 8 month old .... for 5 hours. I wanted to shoot myself! My husband asked if I wanted him to bring home the wine or the tequila for tonight! lol. The first thing I told my sister when she got home was " YOU OWE ME". Then I walked out.
Mrs. K. ♥ Have a good day love.
Submitted by sonah22 on August 29, 2008 - 1:49pm.
Submitted by NovaNightly on August 29, 2008 - 3:12pm.
Nova...I've never had kids or a long-term relationships. So it is with complete lack of experience that I have to say...TELL THAT MOTHER FUCKER TO HELP YOU OUT BEFORE YOU DUMP HIS BABY ASS AND FIND SOMEONE WHO DOES!!
Thank you for listening.
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If i only had a dollar for every time i heard that!! lol. Some men just feel that in the first few years of life, the woman should do all the work. lol. Once they get old enough to throw a ball...its DADDY TIME!! lmao!
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much -- just an occasional sun visor. -Groucho Marx
Submitted by M.E. on August 29, 2008 - 1:48pm.
Mrs. K - don't do that! You made the decision that was right for you!
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Yeah, I did, but now at the age of 53 I am finally ready to pop one out!
Pudge is not interested, however. He's a big baby anyway. :)
Meh, it's all good. This morning I sang a duet of The Way You Make Me Feel with a construction worker, so yeah, life is good.
Have a great weekend, y'all.
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
Hekki - yes. The second time around, with a toddler taboot, no time to sit on the couch and watch soaps as you attach the other one to the boob. LOL.
PS This was regarding your comment about "a grown man who thinks he's my third child"
- Your AJ Armpitt-hating sister
Submitted by lizardo911 on August 29, 2008 - 12:48pm.
She has the ugliest bite. She needs braces or something.
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She already had braces back when she was a kid.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 29, 2008 - 3:35pm.
This is not meant to be snarky, but a question for the moms: Are your husbands not willing to watch the kids for half an hour so you can have alone time at night every now and then, say, for a bath?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My husband will say he'll watch the kids but I'll be right in the middle of having poo times or taking a shower and I'll hear him start fighting with my 4-year-old and he'll come in to tattle on Daddy. Then my 12-week-old will start crying and my husband won't know what to do and will just bring her to me and say, "Mama, somebody needs you." So it's not a question of is he willing to watch them, it's a question of is he willing to learn HOW to watch them. It's actually easier when he's not around, my 4-year-old is very well behaved at home and never gets into anything so I can take a shower and not worry about him. My 12-week-old has a set schedule that I've been keeping her on since we got home from the hospital and it finally paid off when she was 8wks so she sleeps from 8:30pm-7 or 8am the next morning. I guess I'm pretty lucky considering some of the other ladies on here who are lucky to bathe every other day. I can't imagine how crappy that would make you feel. As for Angelina, she looks hideous as always.
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“Chicks love wang bone. Why do you think they have strap-ons and things in that nature, to simulate wang bones, which i come stocked with.”
I know this picture of Angie was taken when she was pregnant...so i dont understand why her hair and skin looks sooo sallow and dull. I had glorious hair and skin when i was preggo. :D
lol@ poo babies!!
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much -- just an occasional sun visor. -Groucho Marx
Submitted by NovaNightly on August 29, 2008 - 1:38pm.
Right now we are HARD CORE potty training because they are 3-1/2 and its ridiculous that they arent already! I got sick of everyone telling me to wait till they were ready. They never seemed ready so now i am forcing the issue and they are doing great. :D Yay me!!
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This friend of mine has twin nephews. When they were about 2 one of them approached his parents and said "OK, I don't need diapers anymore. I am ready to use the toilet."
hahahahaha
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...