Saint Angelina Is Tired
Woe is Saint Angelina. Not only does she have to rule the world, but she also has to raise her child army and keep up a house the size of Parasite Hilton's snatch. Even with the help of nannies, all that work has drained Angie Jo and she's been forced to seek medical attention. That's what Now Magazine (via entertainmentwise) claims anyway.
A source said, "She's in tears up to three times a day and so tired that Brad's found her collapsed asleep in the bath twice. She's been working around the clock, breast-feeding the babies and trying to get them to sleep. But as soon as one of them drops off, the other wakes up for another feed. She's also not eating very much right now and blames that on being busy. The doctor says that she needs more calories to gain strength and ensure that her breast milk is healthy."
I find this hard to believe. First of all, the twin chosen ones already make every meal for their family. I mean, they are Le Cordon Bleu trained gourmet chefs after all. Second of all, Maddox doesn't need to be taken care of and he pretty much rules Zahara and Pax. Third of all, Shiloh lives in an ivory tower in a land far, far away, so she's not even a problem.
And she collapsed in the bath, because she accidentally caught a glimpse of her holy image in the mirror and passed out.
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She can always return the rent-a-kids to free up some time. I doubt she'll get her deposit back though, they're too damaged.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
She has teefs like one of those folding fans.
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“Women don’t like you at all. And men don’t like you enough to make up for it.”
Oh! Poor, poor little Angelina. I feel so sorry for her.
NOT! The woman is a fame-whore. She asked for it and she got it.
You know it's usually the over obsessive fans that do crazy shit.
Exhibit A: Mark David Chapman
Exhibit B: John Hinckley Jr.
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 29, 2008 - 9:07pm.
Holy crap....what the fluck!! I totally forgot about the "young ones" I LOVED that show way back when! Thanks for the memories!
Submitted by lily1313 on August 29, 2008 - 9:08pm
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First you say it's an almost unattainable promise, then you say you hope they stay together forever. Which is it? And for the record, it is possible to steal someone's husband. My batshit little sister used to do it all the time. She'd act heroically self-sufficient to gain admiration, pretend she "understood" the guy, and then when she won, she'd dump him for being a cheater.
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Don't dream it... BE it!
Nappies love, nappies. Nappy singular, nappies plural.
And because you so brilliantly picked me brit, I'm dedicating this to you, my living doll.
Thank you for the lesson in grammar but I hate you for the vid. I had to stop at 45 seconds because the guy singing into the mike is giving me George Michael without the STD. Okay I'm going back to finish my present with a huff and a growl.
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I love my Brangelina like I love my stilettos...Hot, sexy, and a pain in the ass.
youre right niki- they're both to blame, which is why we think theyre both LOSERS.
She is so tired because she has to carry around such a big ego.
Submitted by applehead on August 29, 2008 - 6:12pm.
hee hee hee I'm just kidding.
Once again my attempts at humor go over like a lead balloon!
HOWEVER, I DO totally agree with you.
It's all lies and deception.
OK, Pudge says I have to say goodbye to my fake friends...we're going out.
Have a great weekend...
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
Everytime I see that photo, it makes me want to slap a bit in her mouth...
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Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, brightlight, feeling pretty psyched.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
Submitted by Disco Punk-Rockah on August 29, 2008 - 9:09pm.
Saint Angelina is still in a depression from losing her mother... She keeps trying to fill avoid within herself... simple as that.
I think she started collecting kids before her mother passed, didn't she?
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 29, 2008 - 9:08pm.
Submitted by applehead on August 29, 2008 - 6:04pm.
I KNEW I read that theory somewhere...I just didn't think I'd get caught plagiarizing..
hee hee hee
sowwy
Oh no, I didn't mean that, I just thought we had the same theory is all! No harm, no foul
Mmmm, didn't Squeeze have a song with the word nappies in it?
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
Saint Angelina is still in a depression from losing her mother... She keeps trying to fill avoid within herself... simple as that.
...You cannot steal someones husband...Marriage is a promise and a bond made by 2 people. An almost unattainable promise. It takes 2 to tango...I hope they stay together forever and ADOPT more kids. Call me a Brangeloonie..I don't care..I think they are awesome!
Submitted by applehead on August 29, 2008 - 6:04pm.
I KNEW I read that theory somewhere...I just didn't think I'd get caught plagiarizing..
hee hee hee
sowwy
♥
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
Submitted by niki on August 30, 2008 - 10:52am.
That is so fucking funny. You picked me like a nose. Yes, I'm a Brit...
Shit. And I thought I was so fucking incongnito.
Well SB I try and go all incogNEGRO but somehow everyone always figures out I'm black. Hmmmm.
By the way it was the use of nappy's that gave you away. I just smiled really big when I typed nappy's. Again I'm swayed by the whole European thing. Ugh just shoot me please.
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Nappies love, nappies. Nappy singular, nappies plural.
And because you so brilliantly picked me brit, I'm dedicating this to you, my living doll.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGOU0o9K89g&feature=related
Well, they're the ones that wanted like a dozen kids. She sows what she reaps. And bitch doesn't eat not because she's "busy" but because she wants to look for that next action movie in the works. Whatever...
Your face!
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 29, 2008 - 8:53pm
I don't believe a word of it. It's just PR web of lies, spun to prove what a "giver" she is.
Exactly! THis is what I posted earlier today (what I think)
Submitted by applehead on August 29, 2008 - 4:35pm.
I tried to read most of whats been posted and I have another theory...we all know she has 20,000 nannies for each kid, it's not about her being tired, she's jealous. This beeyatch is a media whore and is probably pissed Brad was out getting press and she wasn't...so what better way to get her skinny ass back in the limelight? Play the "oh I'm a new mother of twins and SOOOO tired"...HA! she doesn't have me fooled one bit!
Submitted by applehead on August 29, 2008 - 5:57pm.
yes you are right. She wanted to be with Maddox and BBT wasn't into the whole family thing.
But I have NEVER liked him.
He claims to be afraid of antique furniture. Oh, please to be giving me a break.
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
But on the other hand...please Billy Bob Thornton? The man's not worth it and even though I think Angelina Jolie is a tiresome phony twat attention whore, even she figured out BBT was douche.
Well hello MK the second...Not to be all up in your crack but your posts are always entertaining and well informed even if its just BSing at it's highest form.
Anykissyuppey(as MK would say) I agree with you but you know the personified Mr. Yuck sticker (BBT) pulled some shenanigans on Angie. He just has enough of a creeper factor to make me believe that he pulled a whammy on Angie and Laura Dern. Either he's magically delicious in the sack or he's a warlock and can cast a spell to make you think he is. No way that mofo did either woman without help from the darkside. _______________________________________________
I love my Brangelina like I love my stilettos...Hot, sexy, and a pain in the ass.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 29, 2008 - 8:46pm.
But on the other hand...please Billy Bob Thornton? The man's not worth it and even though I think Angelina Jolie is a tiresome phony twat attention whore, even she figured out BBT was douche.
I don't think she "figured" it out as much as he handed it to her on a silver platter...didn't he take off touring with his band even though she didn't want him to? She wanted to adopt and he was like f that I've got kids already, I'm not looking for that? I think I remember reading something to that effect yrs ago (and don't know WHY I would remember it~maybe I because I thought he was crazy to let something that pretty go, since I didn't know how he landed it to begin with)
Submitted by kacky on August 29, 2008 - 5:50pm.
Crazy bitch. If you're not going to eat enough to properly nurse your babies, then put them on formula. Only a psycho would do this to herself when there's a houseful of nannies.
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I don't believe a word of it. It's just PR web of lies, spun to prove what a "giver" she is.
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
That is so fucking funny. You picked me like a nose. Yes, I'm a Brit...
Shit. And I thought I was so fucking incongnito.
Well SB I try and go all incogNEGRO but somehow everyone always figures out I'm black. Hmmmm.
By the way it was the use of nappy's that gave you away. I just smiled really big when I typed nappy's. Again I'm swayed by the whole European thing. Ugh just shoot me please.
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I love my Brangelina like I love my stilettos...Hot, sexy, and a pain in the ass.
Crazy bitch. If you're not going to eat enough to properly nurse your babies, then put them on formula. Only a psycho would do this to herself when there's a houseful of nannies.
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Don't dream it... BE it!
Submitted by niki on August 29, 2008 - 5:38pm.
My opinion is that Jen's ass was done with Brad's co-dependant ass and said Buh-bye long before Mr. & Mrs. Smith
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I agree, in the months before the official split both Jen and Brad made statements that clearly implied they both knew they would not be together forever. However, Laura Dern got sucker punched no, ifs and or buts about that one!
But on the other hand...please Billy Bob Thornton? The man's not worth it and even though I think Angelina Jolie is a tiresome phony twat attention whore, even she figured out BBT was douche.
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
@Niki
Okay Sandbitch I hate you because your use of nappy made me go all dumb and American cause I'm enough of spazz to get off on British accents and I'm assuming you're a Brit. I hope so or otherwise this might be awkward.
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That is so fucking funny. You picked me like a nose. Yes, I'm a Brit...
Shit. And I thought I was so fucking incongnito.
K2 said:
You're NOT a psycho fan - just un-informed.
You assume I'm uninformed because I don't agree that she snatched Brad or Billy Bob from their spouse or girlfriend? I'm not naive enough to believe that there wasn't some wishin' and a hopin' going on in either relationship, but I know enough about cheatin' ass men to assume that it wasn't all Angelina's fault on both occasions.
How about us recognizing as women that sometimes even if we seem like we have it all (Angie & Jen) we can still get hoodwinked by a man. Why is it automatically assumed that Angie bullseyed Brad and swept him away. My opinion is that Jen's ass was done with Brad's co-dependant ass and said Buh-bye long before Mr. & Mrs. Smith but got pissed because he moved on before she was ready for him to. Brad is an okay talent in his own right but all the women he has been with have had him by the balls and Jenny wasn't going out like that (not that I can blame her). But putting all the stank on Angie who has demonstrated time and again that just like her man Brad that she's ready to give it all up to whoever is slipping her the tricky dicky just doesn't fly with me. Brad and Angie fit and will probably be together forever because they are both co-dependent and you all know a relationship like that can last FOREVER.
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I love my Brangelina like I love my stilettos...Hot, sexy, and a pain in the ass.
Leo Dicapardo (or whatever his last name is) actually "sponsers" a kid and sends money to support that kid...no showboating or anything
Submitted by Clarisse on August 29, 2008 - 2:53pm.
Minch doesn't need a secretary, he has you!!! Who does better PR for Minch than you??
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Um...no one?
:)
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Clowns are the absolute worst because they adopt the guise of innocence and clean fun, yet they stand for ANYTHING but...
Niki- I understand your cry for a middle ground, but I'd like to hear your opinions on someone like, say, John Edwards. I mean, he was a public messiah until he fucked up and revealed himself to be an asshole and a hypocrite with not only his cheating, but the fact that he spent campaign donation money to keep it up, thinking he was invincible and deserved to be treated like a saint because of his public platform.
The disgust toward Angie is the same. Yes, I also know she cares about the world, but she's hypocritical and kinda sad when it comes to her own life. If she had never stolen men from their wives and then turned desperate in keeping one of them, we would all respect her and just make lame jokes about what a messiah she is without meaning all of it. But her "caring" about the world looks shady considerin she won't be able to even afford half of her philanthropic promises and she couldn't extend that caring to her family or to another family. And now she spends half her energy and money trying to cover it up to keep up an image.
She's just not honest. That's the core of the problem. Kindness begins inside, extends to the home, then to your neighbors for it to be authentic. Otherwise, it's a ploy for your ego to be satisfied. Ted Kennedy is another example. It sickens me that he got away with abandoning a drowning woman early in is career because he was a Kennedy. And now he's a fucking saint.
Okay, sorry about the rant. But you get the idea.
Please don't pull that crap on me. I'm a reasonable fan. Meaning Brangie and crew aren't God's gifts, but Angelina especially isn't this evil psycho temptress to me either. She's a flawed, decently talented actress who I think actually cares about our planet. Agree or disagree but don't automatically make me into some kind of psycho fan just because I don't hate the bitch.
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Yeah she cares about the planet.....must be that she cares about everyone on it except the spouses and girlfriends of the men she has slept with. The disdain comes down to lack of morals NOT how many children she has. Flawed is an understatement. I can't imagine anyone having so much compassion for the underpriviledged and yet treat your fellow women like they have NO feelings. It's hard to see how it is she adopts all these children out of love when deep down she appears to only be looking out for number 1 ! You're NOT a psycho fan - just un-informed.
Oops that should have been heroine not heroin...Freuidan slip perhaps. _______________________________________________
I love my Brangelina like I love my stilettos...Hot, sexy, and a pain in the ass.
Babe, I don't have automatic. I care about the planet, you care about the planet. We'd all be fucking dead without it. Worship my arse.
She's done a few successful films. She has yet to pull off a lasting intimate relationship.
Her children aren't even out of nappies yet, let alone successful human beings in their own right. If they do become successful human beings in their own right (whatever that means) Angelina the Goddess will be probably get all the credit, nay, worshiped for it.
And if one of them kiddies chokes on their own vomit? Then we can all nail her to her own cross.
Anyhoot, time will tell. Right now, Ange is soaking, snoring, in a sitz bath, with a Kaneston Breast pump attached to each tittay.
Okay Sandbitch I hate you because your use of nappy made me go all dumb and American cause I'm enough of spazz to get off on British accents and I'm assuming you're a Brit. I hope so or otherwise this might be awkward. So anyway before I drool anymore I just think that if Angelina was anyone else she wouldn't be as critized or hated. If she is congratulated on her kids not turning into Hollywood's Teen Scene part 12 then that's okay to me. Not everyone can be your hero or heroin and not every celeb has to live up to your ideas or values. Angie does okay by me and that's pretty much it. ________________________________________________
I love my Brangelina like I love my stilettos...Hot, sexy, and a pain in the ass.
you know what keeps you from being tired and passing out in the tub? not continuing to have and/or adopt kids. at least she can afford the help and a monster mansion in france for them to run around in. i have one kid and she kicks my ass every day. i know a lot of people have it much harder than i do but seriously quit your fucking bitching and hire another nanny. or stop breeding.
HA! What a joke, I bet she haven't even seen the twins since she held them for the photo shoot. Yeah I can really see this ho running around changing diapers and feeding kids... yeah right she has her army of nannies and servants for that. She had like 6 people following maddox and pax around when they went to italy. The bitch just started using drugs and cutting herself again thats all
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Submitted by Justina on August 29, 2008 - 5:50pm.
Lol
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
She's a flawed, decently talented actress who I think actually cares about our planet. Agree or disagree but don't automatically make me into some kind of psycho fan just because I don't hate the bitch.
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Babe, I don't have automatic. I care about the planet, you care about the planet. We'd all be fucking dead without it. Worship my arse.
She's done a few successful films. She has yet to pull off a lasting intimate relationship.
Her children aren't even out of nappies yet, let alone successful human beings in their own right. If they do become successful human beings in their own right (whatever that means) Angelina the Goddess will be probably get all the credit, nay, worshiped for it.
And if one of them kiddies chokes on their own vomit? Then we can all nail her to her own cross.
Anyhoot, time will tell. Right now, Ange is soaking, snoring, in a sitz bath, with a Kaneston Breast pump attached to each tittay.
i didn't try very hard, but i do not feel bad for brangelina...they CHOSE to bring all these babies into the world and CHOSE to adopt a gaggle more...hire a nanny if it's too much, but i don't want to hear about it...
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the world is great big old place for all of us to fuck up in it...
I know she must think she looks super cute in this pic, but she just looks super fug.
Submitted by Clarisse on August 29, 2008 - 2:04pm.
Mrs K.,
I too have a fruitless womb. Peace and tranquility reign. Breakables are on tables and plugs are uncovered. I get up when i want, i go to bed when i want. I can decide to take a weekend roadtrip on a Friday evening and just go...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
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I, too, am childfree. And, my husband totally loves the no-kids household. He doesn't have the archaic notion that he must have a son to carry on the family.
It takes special people to be parents. It also takes special people to know that they are not parent material.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Fuck me Niki, did you just fly in on a magic carpet from JustJared??
Nope not at all. In fact some of the crazier fans over there creep me the f**k out just as much as the Dlisters who hate someone they've never met with the same passion that some of the JJ fan's love her creep me the f**k out.
Please don't pull that crap on me. I'm a reasonable fan. Meaning Brangie and crew aren't God's gifts, but Angelina especially isn't this evil psycho temptress to me either. She's a flawed, decently talented actress who I think actually cares about our planet. Agree or disagree but don't automatically make me into some kind of psycho fan just because I don't hate the bitch.
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I love my Brangelina like I love my stilettos...Hot, sexy, and a pain in the ass.
Clarisse, off topic, but I live in Queensland, OZ. My house is currently populated by wild geckos. They take over the ceilings here at night. I also have wild parrots (pale headed rosella's and rainbow lorikeets) feeding on my back deck. It's pretty neat, even if I do say so myself.
I don't envy that angelina whore one liddle biddy bit.
Clarisse - FYI turtles are A LOT of work, and attention whores. Plus, their tanks STINK! I have two filters and clean them and the tank every week, but she still stinks.
Plus you can't handle them. They are a pet for looks.
Damn thing will probably outlive me to!
She is my favorite. Just saw her personals ID on millionaires personals site """""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" yesterday. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site. Is she single again?
Sandbitch
I always wanted a turtle...or a frog...but no room at the inn right now!
On topic. Tragic whore. Dummy Dad. Sad kids.
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Submitted by niki
Her kids look happy and well taken care of...
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Fuck me Niki, did you just fly in on a magic carpet from JustJared??
Clarisse, along with snowball the bunny, I also had a pet tortoise - a most exciting pet (for a quadriplegic). Half the fucking year they hibernate.
blah blah blah look at me im angelina jolie and i need attention.
she should have known what she was getting herself into. even with all that financial resource she's still like that?
look at Kate from Jon & Kate plus 8. she did it no problem and look at what an awesome family they have.
stupid celebs.