The SeX Files
David Duchovny has checked into rehab because he loves to do ze sexy times way too much. Like WAY too much. Like he's addicted to fucking. I guess that's a bad thing? David issued this statement to People:
"I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family."
48-year-old David has been married to Tea Leoni for over 10 years. They have two kiddies together. David currently plays a shameless man whore on the show "Californication." Maybe this shit is research?
The first thing I thought when I read this was, "I'll be your enabler. Use your addiction on me! My no-no hole can take it. It's made of iron. You're Wino and I'm your crack pipe. Now smooooke me."
Then I thought that some scandalous shit must be on its way. I mean, when a celebrity bitch gets a DUI, they automatically check into rehab. David must have been caught with his chonies down. I just hope that shit was caught on high-definition!
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Evening, Slutts and other Sluts! hahaha..Can't stay but just checked in and saw you hysterical hoorz and couldn't resist a minute or two. Kinda' like Dave here. I prolly need rehab.
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
It certainly did runneth over Nitty. Now we know why Brit likes her Frapps so much.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Tripitaka on August 28, 2008 - 11:20pm.
I've lost all respect for him, not because he shags other women, like his tennis instructer,...
I think he misunderstood Love 30!
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Just put some electrodes on his wang and zap the hell outta him.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 28, 2008 - 11:20pm.
And it came out black, but smaller
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Yes, but the girls probably liked that....you know once you go....nevermind!
NITTY!!!!!
@Mr. Pres..hahahahaha Do you think his cup runneth over?
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Submitted by SkyBitch on August 28, 2008 - 11:13pm.
*waves* a big Hi to Skybitch.
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Now we know why he married a woman named Tea?
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
He's partially dyslexic. He bought the MJB coffee and thought it read MBJ.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
He must drink Fold-yers.
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Submitted by Sluttsville on August 28, 2008 - 11:16pm.
And it came out black, but smaller
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
I've lost all respect for him, not because he shags other women, like his tennis instructer, but because he cries addiction when the tennis story gets famous, rather than just admitting to an affair. Pathetic.
Submitted by James Haven on August 28, 2008 - 11:07pm.
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I can't do anything but laugh at this whole thread. You bitches are crazy, lol. But in a good way! Have a good night, Jamesy.
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mariah
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour
Submitted by SkyBitch on August 28, 2008 - 11:13pm.
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*Rubs eyes* Sky is that really you?
You know those guys have stuck it in the cigarette lighter if just to test the length of time it takes to warm it up.
James Haven,
you poor thing! I do hope that Angie and Brad give you some time off and send you to to an all expense paid visit to La Costa or Red Door spa.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
This sex addiction is serious stuff, if he can't be helped he faces the rest of his life probably homeless and gazing lustfully into windows of Lenox factory outlet stores. Sad.
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***Submitted by Sluttsville on August 28, 2008 - 10:58pm.
Right...like you guys haven't done that before.
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I like the fireplace lighter, personally. I wish they made a curved one though.
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Gah, WHY don't you quit making all those repetive sounds? Over and over...breathing iiin and out, and iiiiin and out. Stop already. You're gettin' on my fuckin' nerves.
That is a boned china cup.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Manimal and Team Valtrex,
Based on the photo above, it appears Mr. Duchovny prefers to use a ceramic mug. The pattern appears to be from the Martha Stewart Kmart collection.
I prefer to use bone china for my place settings and cups, for example: Royal Doulton, Haviland or something similar.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Hello James. I guess you got a bit of David with your Earl Grey that morning you had tea at his place.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Sluttsville on August 28, 2008 - 10:58pm.
I'm Irish. Like I could even touch the edges of the cigarette lighter.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
The larger of that series of babushka dolls is nestled fair up David's arse.
Submitted by QueenCharisma on August 28, 2008 - 11:33pm.
Hello and Goodnight Queenie!
This is some thread, no? Poor David. James Haven only hopes that in rehab, David doesn't have access to a computer because Dlisted his his favorite site. Who knows what he will do after he reads some of these posts!
Serves him right for putting his business in the China!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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He's concealing his daint taint with Wedgewood porcelain.
Submitted by Queen of Queens on August 28, 2008 - 10:59pm.
I'm the Presidential panty pudding distributor around here.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 28, 2008 - 10:59pm.
He's tainty?
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Submitted by James Haven on August 28, 2008 - 10:56pm.
Brad took his cereal bowl and poured it over James Haven's head. Soy milk burns the eyes!
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LOL, the things I learn on this site....
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"Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill yourself." - Daisy Tan
Why I love Mariah
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/08/mariah-carey-is.html
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 29, 2008 - 11:59am.
Mel-Tang, he's dainty?
I was trying somehow squeeze taint in there somehow- couldn't make it work......
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Allow me to assist: Dave's dainty taint.
Michael, with November coming ever so nearer I'm gonna need you to post at least one daily picture entry of that hot piece of presidential man meat Barak Obama. I know you probably don't wanna get into politics, but CUM ON! He gives us voters (me) mad panty pudding. So since I and the rest of us enlighted ones visit your page everyday, please endulge us (me) in these heated and hectic times with images of the man we can all say "I'd hit that" (a few times).
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...mad at this, "I know you weren't born when I did what I did and I know that I was an inspiration to you and I take that as a complete compliment." Mark Spitz
Oh, and Bitches is dumb!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 28, 2008 - 10:56pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on August 28, 2008 - 10:53pm.
Probably just puts his dick in the cigarette lighter.
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Right...like you guys haven't done that before.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on August 28, 2008 - 11:16pm.
SmOOches Lucy!
James Haven is keeping himself busy with his work and helping Angie out. Life ain't easy with Brad. He does not pull his fair share of the weight. He spends much of his time buying hats and partying with his Hollywood friends. Leaving James Haven to help Angie. We were getting along until James Haven suggested he dye his unsavory beard. You would think what James Haven said! Brad took his cereal bowl and poured it over James Haven's head. Soy milk burns the eyes!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by Manimal5 on August 28, 2008 - 10:53pm.
Probably just puts his dick in the cigarette lighter.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 28, 2008 - 10:50pm.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on August 28, 2008 - 10:46pm.
He could've kept a lot of things quiet and private, but there he is with his dick in a coffee cup.
For those trips to Hollywood do you think he has a favorite travel mug?
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I never understood the X Files hype. People wearing the dumb t shirt with the show name. He's like f-listed.
Speaking of Wino, what's she up to? We need some crazy. C'Mon girl, give us some crazy.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on August 28, 2008 - 10:46pm.
He could've kept a lot of things quiet and private, but there he is with his dick in a coffee cup.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 28, 2008 - 7:42pm.
Submitted by Sluttsville on August 28, 2008 - 10:40pm.
most crackwhores come already leaking
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we know, we see Wino....
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Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
- Fiona Apple
David Duchovny must be the Blind Item pertaining to the TV actor turned big screen actor who had a summer movie flop and was bed hopping a tennis instructor. Truly sad for this family especially the children.
I am not clear as to why a press release was issued. He could have certainly kept this private and quiet.
On a different note: James Haven it's a delight to see! I hope you are doing well with the gaggle of children you have to supervise at the Jolie Pitt compound.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Wonder if Disney has a similar rehab facility for their frisky teens to deal with their addictions.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Sluttsville on August 28, 2008 - 10:40pm.
most crackwhores come already leaking
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by Mr. President on August 28, 2008 - 10:34pm.
Unlike the styrofoam cups, at least the crack whores are biodegradable.
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Yeah and we don't...I mean they don't puncture and leak when you use them to put out your cigarette butts.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 28, 2008 - 10:35pm.
Submitted by Mr. President on August 28, 2008 - 10:34pm.
ROTFLMAO!!!
Submitted by Mr. President on August 28, 2008 - 10:34pm.
Unlike the styrofoam cups, at least the crack whores are biodegradable.
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They don't stack as nicely either, you should see the trunk of my car.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by Mr. President on August 28, 2008 - 10:34pm.
Unlike the styrofoam cups, at least the crack whores are biodegradable.
WRONG.OH.SO.WRONG. but necessary.
"At least I return Amy to the dumpster when I'm done, he just throws the shit on the ground."
That way curious little kids won't touch her and get tetanus, Hep C, staph, eh...don't have the energy to type...everything..else.
Unlike the styrofoam cups, at least the crack whores are biodegradable.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Styrofoam is too squeaky, and would crumble.....not useful at all....(i just gave this some thought, which is funny in itself)
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Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
- Fiona Apple
Submitted by Sluttsville on August 28, 2008 - 10:28pm.
At least I return Amy to the dumpster when I'm done, he just throws the shit on the ground.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Tea drew the line when the corn flakes looked like frosted flakes straight out the box. The kitchen seems to be his favorite room in the house. The pantry...was paradise.
Dear Lord!
James Haven just realized he had some tea in that very same cup! Nasty!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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