The SeX Files
David Duchovny has checked into rehab because he loves to do ze sexy times way too much. Like WAY too much. Like he's addicted to fucking. I guess that's a bad thing? David issued this statement to People:
"I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family."
48-year-old David has been married to Tea Leoni for over 10 years. They have two kiddies together. David currently plays a shameless man whore on the show "Californication." Maybe this shit is research?
The first thing I thought when I read this was, "I'll be your enabler. Use your addiction on me! My no-no hole can take it. It's made of iron. You're Wino and I'm your crack pipe. Now smooooke me."
Then I thought that some scandalous shit must be on its way. I mean, when a celebrity bitch gets a DUI, they automatically check into rehab. David must have been caught with his chonies down. I just hope that shit was caught on high-definition!
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"You're Wino and I'm your crack pipe. Now smooooke me."
this shit cracks me up!!!! LOL!!
My mom got all excited when I read her the story. I never knew there was rehab for sex addiction, but if you can go there for depression I guess anything can be semi-cured there
"My significant other right now is myself, which is what happens when you suffer from multiple personality disorder and self-obsession."
An older female
David's looks are what I crave. He is my "type". I'm so sad that I will never meet him, and that I'm too old for him. I watched the X-files just to see him. David, if you want to leave Tea and stay with me, we can have sex 24/7. It would be bliss for me.
I wonder if they have a nanny? It seems to be the trend to diddle the help.
One of my friends worked on "Return to Me," the movie he did with Minnie Driver. My friend says they were shagging during the entire shoot, even though he and Leoni were virtual newlyweds. He's a dog, for sure. Glad he's getting help, though.
This story doesn't surprise me in the least, DD just has that 'I'll fuck anybody' aura around him. Poor Tea.
I'm sure he'll be in and out....
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 29, 2008 - 12:11am.
The one with the chubby cat that had a profile on a millionaire dating site was pretty good too. Who is he looking for? Garfield?
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
OMG, he looks so handsome. Just saw his profile on millionaire dating site last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site. Is he single now? Just curious!
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For once, one of these dumb cunts makes a valid post.
Im waaay too lazy to read all of the posts..
But, does/or did anyone think its a bit strange that he plays a man whore on Californication and the new season starts in about a month..perhaps a bit of a publicity stunt to raise interest in the new season. You know these assholes will do anything for PR. Just a thought.
Night Sluttsville! You funny azz. :)
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OMG, he looks so handsome. Just saw his profile on millionaire dating site """"""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""""" " last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site. Is he single now? Just curious!
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 28, 2008 - 11:00pm
Totally agree.
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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
I think the thing that bugs me is it just seems like a pitiful attempt to be relavent; until I see him hitting on homeless men for a blow job I won't really believe he's an addict. It just kinda seems like male bragging rights at the moment.
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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
hahahhaha Slutts- good night!
I think the X-Files Movie flopped and he needed a career boost.
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Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
- Fiona Apple
Submitted by Mel-Tang on August 28, 2008 - 11:54pm.
Sluttsville, LMAO!! You can work for Conan O'Brien
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Thanks Mel-Tang, but until then, I'll have to be satisfied looking like his twin sister.
Truly out this time....really.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 28, 2008 - 11:46pm.
PS: poo. HAHAHAHA ROFLMAO
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TV....Bawahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
That's just so funny, where do you come up with this stuff........Hahahahahahahahaahahahahaha
*Slaps leg....dies laughing*
Sluttsville, LMAO!! You can work for Conan O'Brien! LOLOLOLOLOL
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Night TV!
Hi boomsy! :) Yeah, I think he's trying to wiggle his way out of jail time or something. I mean, it's one thing to admit you are addicted to sex (might make you even look cool in the man circles), but to check into rehab for it? Something else is going on. You also don't just 'discover' one day that you are an addict.
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God, I just thought of the worst joke....
Juan Valdez, Tea Leoni, and David Duchovny are having a threesome, MK opens the door and walks in on them, what does David say to MK?
Coffee, Tea, or me!!!
I know.... lame, but it's past my bedtime.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on August 28, 2008 - 10:48pm
Probably got caught with a tranny a la Eddie Murphy or propositioned a cop or something.
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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
Nite, slutts
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
He must have done something RUUUULLY bad in order to have checked into rehab FIRST. Usually, you get caught, then, to avoid going to jail, you say "I'll go to rehab. Because I've got a problem."
Teacup lover knows he's been a bad boy, and is trying to avoid trouble.
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Good Night Nitty! You to Mr Pres!
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Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
- Fiona Apple
Okay, I'm outtie like PSL's belly button...bunch of heauxs kept me up last night.
Thanks for the laughs all.
David, you may have replaced Joe DiMaggio as Mr. Coffee, the upside is that my mom would swear that just pouring in a little vinegar, would clean a coffee maker.
Nite Nitty, great to see you.
PS: poo. HAHAHAHA ROFLMAO
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Nite, Mr. Pres
Shootingstar, ITA
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Oooh...good Shim pic of her, Mani! Okay, you funny peeps, I'm off to break into Dave's room now. Wish me luck. Blessings!
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Nitty, I've seen all the spankin' on your MS page today, no wonder you're tired.
Submitted by Rumplestiltskin... on August 28, 2008 - 10:41pm.
This bitch is having sex?
with whom?
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Well, I believe if you're a sex addict, it really wouldn't have to be a "whom." From the looks of it any old lovin' cup will do.
Slutty..bhwhahahah...you made me laugh a latte on that last one!
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Submitted by Shootingstar on August 28, 2008 - 11:36pm.
It took me 2 years to believe that Tea Leoni was born a woman
I think she "teabags" Dave
Tea does look a little manly:
http://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/tea-leoni/pictures/tea-leoni-...
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Nite, Mr. Pres! Sleep well. *MuaH* I'm afraid I'm running out of steam myself, won't be here but a couple more mins.
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
This bitch is having sex?
with whom?
Nitty, TV said he didn't have a latte time to be bringing you Starbucks.
Confession time.....I swing all kinds of way...green, red, black, and white....basically I'll teabag anything & everything.
JUST KIDDING.
@shootingstar! Hmm, you maybe onto something. I just might have to break into that rehab facility and see for myself! Course, it may take a few times to be really certain.
TV, would you mind delivering some Starbucks every so often, just incase he needs a bit of help?
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Sex addict? Funny, I didn't know he worked for Disney.
Anyway, past my bedtime so 'nite all.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
OMG, he looks so handsome. Just saw his profile on millionaire dating site """"""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""""" " last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site. Is he single now? Just curious!
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It took me 2 years to believe that Tea Leoni was born a woman. I'm not trying to make excuses for the man, I'm just sayin'.
Slutty, I didn't know you swung that way. So, you gotta' thing for Tea Leoni too, eh? I think you're just trying to get a room next to Davey here.
Hey, PSL. I saw ya creep in that back door there!
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Hey Sky,
Stop it guys, I'm trying to drink my green tea and you're not making it easy.
Evenin, Sky! *smooch with a reach around* Long time no see, lady! Mani, yeowch!
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 28, 2008 - 8:30pm.
After he came, the coffee probably tasted just like Starbucks
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one of their "saltier blends".....
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Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
- Fiona Apple
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 28, 2008 - 11:30pm.
But when Adnan finishes up, it tastes like Cheetos. Which would answer Nitty's question.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Manimal5 on August 28, 2008 - 11:29pm.
I wonder... how DO they treat sex addicts anyway...sounds too much like Clockwork Orange.
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Naked pics of Paris Hilton.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
After he came, the coffee probably tasted just like Starbucks.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Hi Slutts, Nitty, Mani et all. <3
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Gah, WHY don't you quit making all those repetive sounds? Over and over...breathing iiin and out, and iiiiin and out. Stop already. You're gettin' on my fuckin' nerves.
Submitted by paulapoo on August 28, 2008 - 11:25pm.
Just put some electrodes on his wang and zap the hell outta him.
I wonder... how DO they treat sex addicts anyway...sounds too much like Clockwork Orange.
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Prolly need rehab??? I know that you need some kind of treatment. I'm trying to finish up some office work and looked away and saw you, but missed Sky.
Submitted by Mr. President on August 28, 2008 - 10:27pm.
It certainly did runneth over Nitty. Now we know why Brit likes her Frapps so much.
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Why's that, Mr. P? For the sweet n low?
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"