Thursday, August 28th 2008
Morning Wood
The modern God of Water will host SNL. As long as he's topless through the entire show, I'm in - Mollygood
Scary Spice to scare everyone by posing in Playboy? - Holy Moly!
Nicolas Cage is really afraid of roaches. Hollywood is not the place for him then - ICYDK
Vadge adds a chiropractor to her staff. Her roided-up vagina must be in knots - I'm Not Obsessed
Brad Pitt wins an award for something. Probably for being Brad Pitt - A Socialite's Life
Yet another tell-all on Brit Brit's breakdown - Celebitchy
Suge Knight beat down his girlfriend, got arrested - CelebParasite
Re:
The modern God of Water will host SNL. As long as he's topless through the entire show, I'm in - Mollygood
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I'll watch it too - as long as they promise to put a gunny-sack over his head for the entire time he's on the show.
If he's that ugly in the face, his body must compensate for it through some other means, outside of his torso. Get me drift?
Anyone have (accurate) measurement?
Is it cut/uncut?
Does he shave his pubes (Eeeeeewwwwwww!)?
Does he have lo-hangers? Hot!
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
enjoy yourself michael phelps!
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lizzieb on August 16, 2008 - 9:05am.
The sad thing is that Madge would look good for 50 if she stopped trying to look 35. And ate a few pies, drank a few pints and had a laugh. I don't know why we get so upset about aging when the al
Nic Cage is afraid of roaches. I am afraid of Nic Cage. He's always looked like a skeezy creep to me.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
They didn't boo Pitt getting the award this time around, maybe they were booing Jolie's presence last year. He does look more relaxed than usual.
peaches on August 28, 2008 - 11:52am.
nice to see Brad without Angelina for once!!! Looks like hes actually enjoying himself!!!
- EXACTLY!!!!
Of course you knew I would agree with you.
The last time I even changed channels too watch SNL was when Charles Gnarkely was on, I only watched their part.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
EWW!
i dont wanna see how strong you are
i wanna see how long you are...down there
hahah
www.MySpace.com/ItsJonaBitch
Yeah, because SNL already 100% laugh-free shows need the natural comedy genius of another sports star host.
NBC do the right thing, do a side-by-side TV special on Phelps and a public execution of the current SNL writers.
Submitted by dreamhypnotique on August 28, 2008 - 11:09am.
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exactly -- SNL is like a 24/7 corporate convention in hell.
& Phelps needs a face transplant, Google says they're refining that technique in Europe, needs to chop chop to it.
morning everyone
I don't want to think about ANY spice girl in playboy
*pukes*
People still watch SNL?
What's there to fucking tell we all saw brit brit's breakdown and Mk right as long as MP is shritless I'm fucking there
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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Michael Phelps’ heart pumps twice as much blood as the average human’s heart.Blood made of the failed Olympic dreams of everyone that has raced against him.
M.E. mmmmmmm, hmmmmmmmmm! ;p
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
snowpiece - LMAO! Yes, she has a baby IRL.
T-bag....you're gonna get yourself all hot and bothered by that tongue thing he does.....aren't you?!?!?!!?
*muah*
nice to see Brad without Angelina for once!!! Looks like hes actually enjoying himself!!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on August 28, 2008 - 10:31am.
NO MORE PHELPS NEWS!
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WAHHHH! Your yelling combined with your avvie is scaring me--I don't wanna do pee times at my workstation! *hides under desk*
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Hi ME! good to see you here doll ♥
hi everyone else!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
M.E.: yeah, she back, that's the story anyway.....I remember you were the one who told me she was expecting? so I guess after she had the baby she missed Tbag too much, LOL
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
Snowpiece! ♥ My babysitter flaked on my this week, so I have been home with the kids all week. It was nice.
Back to work today......UGH!
YES! I'm so excited about Monday!
WTH are ypi talking about Sarah being back????
Submitted by Little China Doll on August 28, 2008 - 11:15am.
LCT-
where did you get that siggie? I haven't been on in a while...I'm behind!
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That was a glorious little commingback impression from Bradiful yesterday.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
M.E. ♥ I have been looking for your as*! OFF TOPIC
Monday is the big night. Will you be watching? My friend was saying "I think Sarah's back" I told her, "Yes, but this season she's headless" LOL
Can you imagine the explanation:
Michael: But Linc, how could you make that mistake?
Sucre: Yeah, Papi, HOW?
Linc: Uhhhh, duuuhhhhhhh LINC SMASH NOW!!!!!!
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
Submitted by Clarisse on August 28, 2008 - 9:16am.
Laura,
Well, you do have Lunchbox as your avie, so i will let it slide. =)
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I love Kevin Smith, I am excited for his new movie!
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I think I need a prison in order to dream of being free.
Brittney looks like a possumm.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
I don't think Micheal Fish can make SNL any worse than it already is. I always feel awkward watchig that show because most of the skits are NOT funny and I feel like the audience is just laughing cause they have too.
If your Suge Knights girlfriend you deserved to get beat down. Your dating Suge Knight, that should be your first warning!
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
-Submitted by snowpiece on August 28, 2008 - 11:05am.
okie: your mind is a strange and beautiful place, eh?
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*walks around in daze* what??
NO MORE PHELPS NEWS!
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Are we sure Xtina has not passed on and her final request was to be embalmed standing up holding a bottle of her nasty perfume? - DivasGone
Dating Suge is like dating OJ...if you are dumb enough to do it then you suffer the consequences.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
I hope Phelps can lip synch...that dude is as stupid as a sack of hair. Have you heard him talk? Geezus, he can't form complete, coherent sentences.
Must the all the chlorine he suxed down from the pool water.
yes Phelps,,, wearing only the gold. =D
;) :) :O =) :p :( :\ :D
Submitted by Laura on August 28, 2008 - 10:58am.
although the Peyton Manning one was hysterical!
He was very funny on SNL. Even his commercials are funny, he just seems to be a laid back kind of guy with a good personality
Shitney is an insecure nutjob.
Hmmmmm. Not news to me.
Laura,
Well, you do have Lunchbox as your avie, so i will let it slide. =)
Little China Doll,
*side eye*
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Ugh! Can we just get rid of Phelps for a while?. I'm already sick of this guy because I couldn't watch the olimpic games without the commentators yelling themselves hoarse over him. If possible, they would have given him a blowjob. Meh.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
I'll watch SNL to see Michael Phelps, even though athletes are usually pretty wooden actors (Wayne Gretzky comes to mind). Otherwise, tho, SNL sucks these days.
If you've never seen Nicolas Cage eat the cockroach in Vampire's Kiss, it's worth it! The movie is actually pretty good, and he's good in it. But I heard the story a different way - Cage was not required to eat a live cockroach but a rubber one. He's the one who wanted to use the live one for authenticity in his reaction. At least, that's what I read years ago.
LCT-
where did you get that siggie? I haven't been on in a while...I'm behind!
Michael Phelps won't be funny on SNL I believe. After the last Olympics he was on TRL (MTV) and was painfully awkward. He kind of reminds me of my son that has Aspergers...that whole awkwardness around people thing...
On the flip side, maybe Phelps has been laid since then and won't be so awkward!
Michael Phelps looks like a lumpy frog, and it doesn't pain me none to say it.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
i did not want to see that insect-ular water creature's toothy mug staring at me first thing. Those hands? FROG hands.
Suge Knight putting the beat down to his girlfriend at 6:40 am, WTF!? First off did he really think that hitting your GF in a parking lot for everyone to see was the smart thing to do?? What a jackass.
And why doesn't it surprise me that Suge is the type to hit a woman....
Laura and FatMartha---
Agreed!! Huge Colts fan here as well and I highly doubt any sports figure would ever be as funny on SNL as Peyton! He. Cracks. Me. Up.
I'm sorry Clarisse, I didn't see that one, please don't hurt me!
FatMartha - I very well could be you, there are times when I have no idea where I've been or what I've done - can you fill me in?
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I think I need a prison in order to dream of being free.
Submitted by MargeAggedon on August 28, 2008 - 11:08am.
Noooooo its the one who had eddie murphys loooooooooove child!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
I haven't seen Saturday Night Live in a long time and what makes it so virulently unfunny is the fact that the people THINK they're funny when they're not. Like those smug people at a party who endlessly tell unfunny (and mostly made up) stories and anecdotes who think they're the life of the kickback, or those scrubs on youtube who feel the need to record themselves trying to be funny because "me and my friends are so funny, lol" but everything they do and say paints "monumental fail" in ever bolder colors.
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"Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone," he told me, "always remember that not everyone has had the same advantages in life that you've had."
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
posh in playboy? What's the point?
Just draw a stick figure with two circles for boobs and you'll have every naked pic of skeletal spice you could ever want.
Those fake boobs look ridiculous on her anorexic body.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Surfing the apocalypse.
Submitted by Laura on August 28, 2008 - 9:58am.
Not much exciting going on again today I see. I have a feeling Michael Phelps is going to suck as an SNL host - seems like not too many athletes can pull it off, although the Peyton Manning one was hysterical
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AGREED! <-- Spoken by a die-hard Colts fan. P.S., love your name. We share that as well as our love for Peyton. :] Are you sure you're not me?
*****
When FatMartha pees the bed
and some poop gets on her head
Don't return her calls bloop bloop
she needs to clean her stalls bloop bloop
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FOUR PAWS, INC. KILLS ANIMALS. BOYCOTT.
http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/
SNL really cannot afford to have a host with no comedic talent these days.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
okie: your mind is a strange and beautiful place, eh?
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
Laura!
*swipes off Cavs hat*
You take that back!!! LBJ rocked SNL!!!!!
*puts Cavs hat back on*
On topic...Suge Knight...throw him in DMX's cell. THAT would be funnnn!
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
phelps should just pose for wheaties, collect his endorsement money and fade quietly into the night...
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the world is great big old place for all of us to fuck up in it...
Why would Phelp's host SNL? I hate when they bring people without any comedic talent to host the show....(not that I really watch it anymore)
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Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
- Fiona Apple
I was lamely thinking of Suge Knight th other day and getting pissed off due to Steve-O, Cause when he called Coke, Boog Sug, Everyone was like Oh, yeah, he's referrin to Suge Knight. Uh, yeah, sure he is, cause that's what he thinks about.. WTF. I don't know why I thought about that, but it was still making me angry for some reason, And I wanted to hit people that was saying that. That isn't what he meant, GD it,, Not at all.. It was meant as Nose GD Candy..
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!