It's Just The "F" Word
DMX is really fucking charming. In court yesterday, the judge denied his bond and set his next court date for October 3rd. To which DMX responded, "I ain't coming back on October 3rd!" Riddle me this. Isn't he in handcuffs and being held in a room with bars on the windows?
As DMX shuffled off, Judge Mr. Clean told him "I've never heard the F word before, so it's okay." Instead of leaving it at that, the judge told DMX's lawyer to let his client know that "I've heard the F word before." DMX's lawyer just kind of laughed like he just got a shot of helium in his ass.
I need to hang out in more court rooms. It's like a fucking comedy club in there. They should have a 2-drink minimum.
You better believe that if one of us said the "F" word in front of a judge, we'd be FUCKED in more ways than one.
Judge Mr. Clean obviously wasn't that offended by DMX's bomb. TMZ reports that today DMX's lawyer worked out a deal with the judge: time served and a $483 fine. DMX faced up to six years for trying to buy cokey and weed. This is in Florida. DMX still have ten million charges in Arizona. Arizona has 15 days to come and get him or he'll be a free man until he gets arrested again. Which will probably be about an hour after he's released.
And since DMX is always in a court room, can they please put him in front of Judge Judy just once. Just once! That's all it would take.
ShareThis
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 2:46pm.
*look at me i put my actions between asterisk*
If there is any online behavior that screams "I'M A DOUCHE" it's that.
**
actually charles shultz did that in a lot of his peanuts comics
he wasnt a douche in any sense
youre sketchy and obnoxious, and its got nothing to do with the symbols you type.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I AM a douche... a douche spiked with orange vodka with a super comfy head for her pleasure.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
*look at me i put my actions between asterisk*
If there is any online behavior that screams "I'M A DOUCHE" it's that.
Starting your comment with "FUCK YOU" and calling everyone HIPPOS is definition online douche. Youve been screaming youre a douche since youve signed on.
If you dont like what we have to say then GET THE FUCK OUT.
The pitbull thing he should be punished for, who doesn't love dogs. Who cares about coke, it shrivels your dick and gives you the shits. He's being attacked because he's black. Half of you are probably on some form of anti depressant, well weed and coke is his so fuck off. Hope your Xanex pills mix well with your anti cancer pills you future amputees
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 2:46pm.
*look at me i put my actions between asterisk*
If there is any online behavior that screams "I'M A DOUCHE" it's that.
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*Sticks a douchebag up Umbertoooo's ass*
Ah, fuck. It keeps falling out.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Submitted by Leatherette on August 27, 2008 - 3:41pm.
AND the PTA is back in the house! Smooches, out ;*
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So you meant this......
Submitted by speakit on August 27, 2008 - 3:46pm.
Submitted by oklahoma on August 27, 2008 - 3:42pm.
who's the PTA? Do tell..
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Posters That Articulate? It sounds nice, anyway.
???
WAY OFF TOPIC!
Sorry, but I am a curious puddy. There are many smart, funny snarkists in our little cyber world. I am curious as to how many are south paws.
OT:
Next time someone throws the book at him, I wish they would give him good old-fashioned beat down, too! He gansta'd puppies...
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Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, brightlight, feeling pretty psyched.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 1:44pm.
I guess you're still having drought times, huh Laura? *passes Laura dlisted smokem pipe*
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Unfortunately, yes. I wonder if it's because the Democratic National Convention is here.... but that doesn't make any sense.
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I think I need a prison in order to dream of being free.
Submitted by xxyxz on August 27, 2008 - 3:39pm.
LCT
Yes you may . But Who is going to be the banana?
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Only you, my dear.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Parker Valley PTA... *flips you a GD bird* OH snap.. Astrisk, and is used PTA too.. oh my! *says in lil girl voice* fuck me I did it again..
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
YMAT
Nice one... My butt has to be first
I want to be the person that drives the train around so I can crash it into the snack bar
Submitted by xxyxz on August 27, 2008 - 3:43pm.
LCT
Trick question eh? You just want to fling shit around !
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No silly banana, that's just regular monkeys. I want to pick my butt, smell it, then bang on the glass when someone looks at me.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by Leatherette on August 27, 2008 - 4:08pm.
Submitted by Two Drink Min on August 27, 2008 - 3:35pm.
Everyone should have a Two Drink Min
-----------------------------------------
indeed, Two [insert luscious activity here] Minimum for everything else.
*****
I'm here for my 2 drinks and the requested "luscious" activity :D
insert at will! ~teehee
*****
I'm a proud SP!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 27, 2008 - 2:44pm.
Seriously. And what the hell does Woody Allen have to do with any of this?
Woody Allen betrayed Mia Farrow and frankly I think he's a selfish fucked up POS but he did not "molest his daughter."
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That's exactly what I was thinking! Woody Allen, that's kinda left-field. I'm no fan of creepy pepaw Woody, either (although I adore his film Radio Days).
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Submitted by Laura on August 27, 2008 - 2:41pm.
The only thing I can gather is that MK accidentally left out the actual word "fuck" in DMX's statement to the judge. Then it would sort of make sense, I think...
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
"As DMX shuffled off, Judge Mr. Clean told him "I've never heard the F word before, so it's okay." Instead of leaving it at that, the judge told DMX's lawyer to let his client know that "I've heard the F word before." DMX's lawyer just kind of laughed like he just got a shot of helium in his ass."
err...Pardon my confusion, but what?? Mk have you been hitting the mcconahaugay BONGos?
Umbertoo- DMX sucks and so do you.
I don't get I thought Umbertoooo was the resident racist?
*look at me i put my actions between asterisk*
If there is any online behavior that screams "I'M A DOUCHE" it's that.
And oprah is fat thats why i paint shopped a banana on her fat mouth
Submitted by oklahoma on August 27, 2008 - 3:42pm.
who's the PTA? Do tell..
______________________________________
Posters That Articulate? It sounds nice, anyway.
MK...i thought DMX said "I aint fucking going back to jail!" or something like that....
you better share whatever you got!! and NOT your cooties. ;P
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I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!!
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 12:39pm.
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 2:25pm.
Soooooo....it's wrong of all of us to think DMX should be in jail, but it's totally ok that you just wished cancer on all of us...and you're calling US hypocrites? Boo. You fail at life.
Seriously. And what the hell does Woody Allen have to do with any of this?
Woody Allen betrayed Mia Farrow and frankly I think he's a selfish fucked up POS but he did not "molest his daughter."
HI JIMMY!!!!!
HI DEB!!!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"I'm having a Chico's kind of day."
I think Umbertoo got into some dank stuff...his brain is doing poo-poo times.
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I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!!
Submitted by Laura on August 27, 2008 - 2:41pm.
I'm only really confused by the second paragraph. And if MK is high, he needs to share more.
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I guess you're still having drought times, huh Laura? *passes Laura dlisted smokem pipe*
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Oh go sit on a donkey dick, leather. We ain't the fuckin PTA. If you'd like to share DMX's lifestyle in an attempt to prove you're not a square, go for it. Maybe they'll have some penis shaped bars left over from Paris' cell for ya. Cheers!
*toasts with martini*
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
LCT
Trick question eh? You just want to fling shit around !
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 3:25pm.
FUck you people that say lock him up. He never hurt anyone. Weed and Traffic Tickets?? Wow what a terrible guy! In a world where Woody "i molest my daughter" Allen is celebrated and this guy is a "scumbag" for wanted to smoke weed. Fuck all you HIPPOcrites, I wish cancer on you all!!! DMX 4 LIFE!
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Well, as idiotic as your statement was, I must applaud you for not accusing us all of wanting him in jail for the simple fact that he's black, so bravo.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
bill the Estroven to me, cause I'm here to help <3
Submitted by xxyxz on August 27, 2008 - 2:39pm.
LCT
Yes you may . But Who is going to be the banana?
-------------------
Find Verne Troyer. I'd like to be the billy goat in the petting zoo section so I can headbutt people in the ass.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
who's the PTA? Do tell..
-----------------------------------
I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
I'm only really confused by the second paragraph. And if MK is high, he needs to share more.
**************
I think I need a prison in order to dream of being free.
AND the PTA is back in the house! Smooches, out ;*
LCT
Yes you may . But Who is going to be the banana?
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 2:25pm.
Soooooo....it's wrong of all of us to think DMX should be in jail, but it's totally ok that you just wished cancer on all of us...and you're calling US hypocrites? Boo. You fail at life.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Submitted by jim
'UMBERTOO' YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON
With that one tiny statement, I became your, next to Mrs. K, left-handed gal!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, brightlight, feeling pretty psyched.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
Submitted by Two Drink Min on August 27, 2008 - 3:35pm.
Everyone should have a Two Drink Min
-----------------------------------------
indeed, Two [insert luscious activity here] Minimum for everything else.
I've had some of the best laughs in court...
okie OMG LOL but by now it's got to be BAMPZKV or something
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
Submitted by dutchmodernist on August 27, 2008 - 2:32pm.
MK, are you fucking high? This post of yours makes almost no sense.
**
I know man, i didnt quite follow either
eh, whatevah!
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by TheBreakdown on August 27, 2008 - 3:31pm.
Quintessential Dumb Ass!
Remember, if you drink and drive...drive someone else's car.
Like, duh!!
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ah! Driving While Dumb should indeed be a felony, but then 85 percent of the populace might be on lockdown, I'm a-feared.
Submitted by xxyxz on August 27, 2008 - 3:32pm.
Fuck! This place is turning into a zoo
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Can I be the gorilla?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
MORE:
“Rapper DMX (real name: Earl Simmons) was arrested by Arizona Department of Public Safety officers in May 2008 and charged with reckless driving, public endangerment, criminal speeding, and driving with a suspended license after cameras recorded him in January driving his 1966 Chevy Nova at speeds up to 114 mph on a Scottsdale highway (the posted speed limit is 65 mph). Simmons, 37, was booked into the Scottsdale City Jail where he posed for the below mug shot before posting bond and being released.
Rapper DMX (real name: Earl Simmons) was arrested by Florida police in June 2008 and charged with attempting to buy cocaine and marijuana from an undercover cop. Simmons, 37, was booked into a Miami lockup, where he posed for the below mug shot, his second of the week.”
Yeah, he just smokes weed every now and then. *SNORT!*
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Stoney on August 27, 2008 - 3:32pm.
From The Smoking Gun:
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He was also arrested for identity theft.
Just google "DMX charges". The dude is a fukkin loser.
Everyone should have a Two Drink Min
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
That guy doesnt have a brain cell in his head....he done killed them ALL.
too FUCKING funny.
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I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!!
BAM 4 life. YO!
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
DMX 4 Life alright...behind bars!!! He's thinks he's above the peonic world because he did a couple of flics....he needs to get his ass kicked.
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
He'll be on the street handcuffed and being led to a squad car in not time. Trust.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Durrrr, DMX 4 life.. I don't spell out the word, I use slang, and all like 4, BAM, said it DMX 4 LIFE yo! *throws up a wicked sign*
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
MK, are you fucking high? This post of yours makes almost no sense.
*****
My brains tell me he's a douche,
but my genitals tell me he's a hot piece.
From The Smoking Gun:
"Rapper DMX (real name: Earl Simmons) was arrested by Arizona sheriff's deputies in May 2008 and charged with seven counts of misdemeanor animal cruelty and four counts of felony drug possession. Officers executed a search warrant on the 37-year-old Simmons's home and found cocaine, marijuana, and five pit bull puppies. The arrest follows an August raid of his home that turned up weapons, drugs, and 12 malnourished pit bulls."
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"