It's Just The "F" Word
DMX is really fucking charming. In court yesterday, the judge denied his bond and set his next court date for October 3rd. To which DMX responded, "I ain't coming back on October 3rd!" Riddle me this. Isn't he in handcuffs and being held in a room with bars on the windows?
As DMX shuffled off, Judge Mr. Clean told him "I've never heard the F word before, so it's okay." Instead of leaving it at that, the judge told DMX's lawyer to let his client know that "I've heard the F word before." DMX's lawyer just kind of laughed like he just got a shot of helium in his ass.
I need to hang out in more court rooms. It's like a fucking comedy club in there. They should have a 2-drink minimum.
You better believe that if one of us said the "F" word in front of a judge, we'd be FUCKED in more ways than one.
Judge Mr. Clean obviously wasn't that offended by DMX's bomb. TMZ reports that today DMX's lawyer worked out a deal with the judge: time served and a $483 fine. DMX faced up to six years for trying to buy cokey and weed. This is in Florida. DMX still have ten million charges in Arizona. Arizona has 15 days to come and get him or he'll be a free man until he gets arrested again. Which will probably be about an hour after he's released.
And since DMX is always in a court room, can they please put him in front of Judge Judy just once. Just once! That's all it would take.
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Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain
Where the wav-in wheat can sure smell sweet
When the wind comes right behind the rain
Oklahoma ev'ry night my honey lamb and I
Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk
Makin lazy circles in the sky
We know we belong to the land
And the land we belong to is grand
And when we say
Yeow! A-YIP-I-O-EE-AY
We're only say-in "you're doing fine Oklahoma,
Oklahoma OK"
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"I'm having a Chico's kind of day."
YMAtT!
Oh no! You cannot throw "I'm not exactly sure what that means" and not expect my retentive arse to go find out!!!
Quid Pro Quo is latin for "Something for something" I.E. A favor for a favor.
*smacks self in forehead*
*smacks self in forehead again for putting asterisks around action*
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
ok, so Umbertoo goes around saying all white people are racists and calls people homos and judges people because of their political beliefs, and we're supposed to think WE'RE the shitheads?
Did I step into some alternate universe where shit is edible?
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
umberto fuck off man
fuckin wanna be gotta be pussy eatin cock suckin pranksta!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 3:05pm.
What are you, 4?
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 3:05pm.
Hey OklaHOMO
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Oh NO you didn't! *sticks hot poker up Umberpooo's ass*
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
LOOK AT ME I TYPE IN ALL CAPS TO CREATE THE ATMOSPHERE OF YELLING. AND FOR YOUR INFO YOU FART STAIN I SMOKE WEED ANNNND TORTURE DOGS, YEA HOT DOGS BY PUTTING THEM IN OKLAHOMO'S ASSHOLE. *PUTS HOT DOG IN OKLAHOMO'S ASSHOLE, PULLS IT OUT AND SPRAYS HOT DOG WATER ALL OVER IT'S FACE* HOT!
Yeah
DMX is a legend
Just like Bo Diddley and BB King.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"I'm having a Chico's kind of day."
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
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I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!!
Submitted by snuffy on August 27, 2008 - 3:02pm.
Coke doesn't give you the shits
*
yeah, cocaine is a diuretic actually. makes you shit sometimes, not necc gives you the shits tho. that would be the cut.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Oh sure...DMX is just out enjoying the good life...carrying guns, raping women, killing and abusing dogs, using false identities....
OH yeah...he's just your average Joe.
OOPS...how silly of me...i forgot all the drugs too. I excuse the weed part...but the rest...NO!
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I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!!
OH so WISE!!! What an original thought... *ties up rope*
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
where the poo where the poo where the poo at
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
Hey OklaHOMO
I do not care if this guy is purple or green or plaid or multistriped like a beach umbrella on the Italian Riviera.
He's a thug.
[That reminds me of what my dead mama used to say.
She used to say "I don't care if he's purple or green...as long as he loves you tatala, I will love him."]
*farting in Umbertoo's general direction*
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"I'm having a Chico's kind of day."
Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on August 27, 2008 - 3:54pm.
Good for you DMX!!!! Pay those bitch ass lawyers for this bull shit charge. People killing people and they get nothing and you are in their for some bullshit.
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I bet you wouldn't say that if he wanted to give his child to gay parents.
WE ALL SMOKE WEED YOU FUCK, BUT WE ALL DON'T TORTURE DOGS AND CONTINUALLY FLAUNT OUR 'CELEBRITY STATUS' AND GET CAUGHT WITH DRUGS IN PUBLIC..AND DMX A FUCKING 'LEGEND' ..IN THE JAIL SYSTEM YES, BUT AS AN ARTIST HE SUCKS BALLS...AND WE ALL KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO THE RACE CARD WHCI MAKES YOU THE FUCKING RACIST IDIOT!!
OMG I forgot the part about having a tramp stamp!
*bends over and sticks ass in umber's face*
Can you please bleach it? I did it on a whim when I was 17. Pay no attention to the swastika. I want to keep that.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Kp on August 27, 2008 - 2:59pm.
She was probably used to just flushing the things that came out of her ass.
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Orly??? LOL! That explains a lot!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
*hobbles over to Umberdoodoo*
*steals his heroin*
*pulls up white sheet & flips him off*
*hobbles back to hospital*
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
All i read was this
*offers his tramp stamp*
fitting. i bet you do.
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I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!!
Coke doesn't give you the shits, the baby laxative it's cut with does.
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 3:51pm.
The pitbull thing he should be punished for, who doesn't love dogs. Who cares about coke, it shrivels your dick and gives you the shits. He's being attacked because he's black. Half of you are probably on some form of anti depressant, well weed and coke is his so fuck off. Hope your Xanex pills mix well with your anti cancer pills you future amputees
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OMG UMBERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I DID NOT REALIZE YOU WERE GOD AND MASTER OF ALL KNOWING THINGS. DMX SHOULD ONLY BE PENALIZED FOR WHAT 'YOU' THINK IS PUNISHABLE. HOW DARE ANYONE WANT AN UNLAWFUL MAN PUNISHED BUT IT'S CERTAINLY OKAY TO WISH A TERMINAL ILLNESS ON A BLOG FULL OF PEOPLE. I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT UMBERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
YOUR INFINITE WISDOM AND EXPRESSION OF IDEAS HAVE FOREVER CHANGED ME. ESPECIALLY THE RACE CARD! THANK YOU UMBERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I AM GOING TO WORSHIP AT THE ALTAR THAT IS YOU.
Submitted by Clarisse on August 27, 2008 - 2:56pm.
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Quid Pro Quo, Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeese! I'm not exactly sure what that means, but you still rock.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 3:54pm.
And my racism doesn't come into play when talking about legends like DMX, ODB, LT, and Eazy E. Or maybe i just have a thing for acronyms.
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What. The Fuck. Can someone please explain what the fuck this crackhead is talking about when it says 'my racism does not apply when it comes to legends'??
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
George W. Bush is gonna have a Library built for him but DMX is the asshole for driving fast and wanting to get fucked up. Fuck the legal system! You RePIGlicans make me sick. *offers his tramp stamp bleaching services to all of d-listedom*
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 3:56pm.
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 2:51pm.
The pitbull thing he should be punished for, who doesn't love dogs. Who cares about coke, it shrivels your dick and gives you the shits. He's being attacked because he's black. Half of you are probably on some form of anti depressant, well weed and coke is his so fuck off. Hope your Xanex pills mix well with your anti cancer pills you future amputees
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Did your mother ever have any kids that lived?
She was probably used to just flushing the things that came out of her ass.
Submitted by Clarisse on August 27, 2008 - 3:56pm.
I do not know why you people cannot cut DMX a break. I mean, he just missed a hearing or something! Everyone makes mistakes! It's not like he...
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ROFLMMFAOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo...that just made me piss my Xanex pills outs. Shit, now my fake leg just fell off...the cancer's back.
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
Hey, I'm proud to be a fat racist Midwestern soccer mom with one leg on her way to the PTA in a Xanax haze who looks the other way while her husband cheats. That's me in a nutshell!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Clarisse on August 27, 2008 - 2:56pm.
Holy FUCK! lolol
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Cada dia se aprende algo nuevo.
CLARISSE YOU HOT SLUT!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by snowpiece on August 27, 2008 - 2:56pm.
UmberPOOOOOOOO is just mad because HE'S the little mini me in the courtroom!
**
HAHAHAHAHAA!! yeah being a minority midget will give you a fucking chip on your shoulder for sure.. look at bushwick bill!! haha
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
DMX says "IACBOO3"
Judge says "IHTFWB4" which translates to "git cho ass back in yeah".
I point and say from behind the little man in the back "hehehe"
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 12:51pm.
The pitbull thing he should be punished for, who doesn't love dogs. Who cares about coke, it shrivels your dick and gives you the shits. He's being attacked because he's black. Half of you are probably on some form of anti depressant, well weed and coke is his so fuck off. Hope your Xanex pills mix well with your anti cancer pills you future amputees
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UM...NO! THE WEED IS MINE!!!!...and my other friends in here.
Oh and dont even fucking pull that stupid racist card....
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I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!!
I do not know why you people cannot cut DMX a break. I mean, he just missed a hearing or something! Everyone makes mistakes! It's not like he...
8/14/2008
Arrested for an outstanding warrant for skipping another court date in Arizona related to his pending animal-cruelty and drug-possession case.
7/19/2008
on suspicion that he gave a gave a false name and Social Security number to a hospital to get out of paying bill
5/9/2008
Charged with animal abuse
9/24/2007
Charged with animal abuse
8/24/2007
Charged with animal abuse
6/22/2006
Cited for carrying a concealed handgun outside a nightclub
5/15/2006
Arrested becaming abusive on a flight from New York to London
6/28/2004
Charged with criminal possession of a weapon and a controlled substance (crack cocaine)
3/7/2001
While serving a 15-day given additional charge of felony assault of a corrections officer
6/29/2000
Indicted on two counts of criminal possession of a weapon in the third degree
5/3/2000
Sentenced for drug possession charges, driving without a license and outstanding parking tickets
7/2/1999
Arrested DMX and his wife, Tashera, on weapons charges on Wednesday
5/17/1999
Arrested and jailed for assault and harassment.
6/18/1998
Arrested for raping and sodomizing a 29-year-old stripper.
UmberPOOOOOOOO is just mad because HE'S the little mini me in the courtroom!
****************************1/20/09
"TEDDY'S BACK!"
And racism it totally photoshopping a GD banana in a black womans arms.. Fucking RETARD!!!! *grabs a rope*
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
lmfao
thats so FUCKIN funny
www.MySpace.com/ItsJonaBitch
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 2:51pm.
The pitbull thing he should be punished for, who doesn't love dogs. Who cares about coke, it shrivels your dick and gives you the shits. He's being attacked because he's black. Half of you are probably on some form of anti depressant, well weed and coke is his so fuck off. Hope your Xanex pills mix well with your anti cancer pills you future amputees
----------------
Did your mother ever have any kids that lived?
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
umberdouche
*fuck off* we hate everyone around here
*pops xanax*
*checks pocket for weed sack*
amputee whaa?
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 3:51pm.
The pitbull thing he should be punished for, who doesn't love dogs. Who cares about coke, it shrivels your dick and gives you the shits. He's being attacked because he's black. Half of you are probably on some form of anti depressant, well weed and coke is his so fuck off. Hope your Xanex pills mix well with your anti cancer pills you future amputees
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And you thought maybe we automatically said "oh got to jail for smoking a joint, not for abusing animals.. " you know all of us soo well.. Thank you for calling us out. It makes me feel better, Now i dont' have to take a xanax. Oh my hero!! *bats eyelashes* *bat bat bat bat* *bats you in the head*
The Woody Allen's of this world should be in jail. Not pot heads. And my racism doesn't come into play when talking about legends like DMX, ODB, LT, and Eazy E. Or maybe i just have a thing for acronyms.
Good for you DMX!!!! Pay those bitch ass lawyers for this bull shit charge. People killing people and they get nothing and you are in their for some bullshit.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Ain't nothin wrong with amputees!
*hops around looking for Xanax*
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 3:51pm.
He's being attacked because he's black.
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And there it is.
You know, it IS possible that not all white people are racists, racist.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by Laura on August 27, 2008 - 2:50pm.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 1:44pm.
I guess you're still having drought times, huh Laura? *passes Laura dlisted smokem pipe*
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Unfortunately, yes. I wonder if it's because the Democratic National Convention is here.... but that doesn't make any sense.
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True. If it was the Republicans, there'd definitely be no weed around except for the g-13 the Repubs are secretly hiding for themselves for the night after they vehemently deny that they've ever inhaled.
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
*throws douche water all over umbertoooooo*
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Sits back at waits for EyeRoll
I always love her/ his comments
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 3:46pm.
*look at me i put my actions between asterisk*
If there is any online behavior that screams "I'M A DOUCHE" it's that.
And oprah is fat thats why i paint shopped a banana on her fat mouth
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If anything screams 'I'M A DOUCHE' it's a total lack of punctuation and shitty grammar from someone who has the audacity to judge others.
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YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!