It's Just The "F" Word
DMX is really fucking charming. In court yesterday, the judge denied his bond and set his next court date for October 3rd. To which DMX responded, "I ain't coming back on October 3rd!" Riddle me this. Isn't he in handcuffs and being held in a room with bars on the windows?
As DMX shuffled off, Judge Mr. Clean told him "I've never heard the F word before, so it's okay." Instead of leaving it at that, the judge told DMX's lawyer to let his client know that "I've heard the F word before." DMX's lawyer just kind of laughed like he just got a shot of helium in his ass.
I need to hang out in more court rooms. It's like a fucking comedy club in there. They should have a 2-drink minimum.
You better believe that if one of us said the "F" word in front of a judge, we'd be FUCKED in more ways than one.
Judge Mr. Clean obviously wasn't that offended by DMX's bomb. TMZ reports that today DMX's lawyer worked out a deal with the judge: time served and a $483 fine. DMX faced up to six years for trying to buy cokey and weed. This is in Florida. DMX still have ten million charges in Arizona. Arizona has 15 days to come and get him or he'll be a free man until he gets arrested again. Which will probably be about an hour after he's released.
And since DMX is always in a court room, can they please put him in front of Judge Judy just once. Just once! That's all it would take.
ShareThis
Wow, this looks like it has been a fun conversation.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 27, 2008 - 4:27pm.
Well that sucks. Maybe I can heave my Midwestern ass off of my couch and bring you some.
Nah.
*blows smoke you face*
__________________________________________
"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Stoney on August 28, 2008 - 7:24am.
OMG sandbitch, yous so goin to hell for that avie!
-----------------
Stoney, I'M ALREADY THERE! I'm out of pot.
*sigh* All I wanted was to come back and have fun times with my fake friends here on Dlisted and now we have some douchebag racist fuckwad who wants to ruin the fun for everyone...
*pouts*
************
Submitted by oklahoma on August 27, 2008
When FatMartha pees the bed
and some poop gets on her head
Don't return her calls bloop bloop
she needs to clean her stalls bloop bloop
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 5:20pm.
My neighbor is half-black and has a hose, does she count?
*kidding*
__________________________________________
"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Yay!!!!!! for Umbertoo!!!!!!Majority of the people in dlisted drink the cool-aid heavily up in here. Free DMX. These are same people that will have a bleeding heart for Mackenzie Phillips, the dumb twat, who nobody knows about she thought she could bypass the security of a commercial plane and get on the with the white horse in her purse. Not in her twat or asshole, in her purse like she has it like that, but you know she's white and she will be allright.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
OMG sandbitch, yous so goin to hell for that avie!
ROFLMAO.
__________________________________________
"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 5:20pm.
Did you decide to get in ground sprinklers for yourself after you were suprised by them in those late night visits to set up the crosses for burnin'?
As if black people own in ground sprinkler systems let alone a yard to necessitate them.
______________________________________
In all seriousness, I really hope you don't have children.
@Umbertooooooooo,
I have to ask you, why is it that you returned after being banned from site? Is that not a subtle enough clue for you? It takes many people reporting you for this to happen. Why do you return to a place you are not wanted? You act like some deranged foster child who cannot figure out about being removed from the "cyber" household is your own fault...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, brightlight, feeling pretty psyched.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
Mrs K, is that Mr Diamond in your avie? I love me some Neil Diamond.
Sweet Caroliiiiiiine,
toot toot toot
sing along wif me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86pxW0jGjOo
Submitted by Clarisse on August 27, 2008 - 4:02pm.
Exhibit A:
"Karma Police on August 27, 2008 - 4:58pm.
DMX is my favorite rapper alive but he needs to get his shit together."
See kids, this is how an intelligent person states an opposing view point.
*side eyes blurtoo*
*****
Haha. Thanks Clarisse! The man is a great rapper but I have been questioning his sanity for a while now...
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 2:02pm.
My world is one of central air and in ground sprinkler systems.
_________________________________________
well la dee da, la dee da
jes goes to show, money can't buy class
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 5:02pm.
My world is one of central air and in ground sprinkler systems. What the fuck is wrong with your world?
________________________________
Did you decide to get in ground sprinklers for yourself after you were suprised by them in those late night visits to set up the crosses for burnin'?
Mrs K.,
"nothing tastes as good as thin feels"
Well, those are words to live by!!!
*pulls up granny panties*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 27, 2008 - 5:03pm.
LCT, who is that in your avie??
Exhibit A:
"Karma Police on August 27, 2008 - 4:58pm.
DMX is my favorite rapper alive but he needs to get his shit together."
See kids, this is how an intelligent person states an opposing view point.
*side eyes blurtoo*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 27, 2008 - 5:00pm.
It's these special breeds of assholes that think racism is awesome that have made the world what it is today.
My world is one of central air and in ground sprinkler systems. What the fuck is wrong with your world?
It's these special breeds of assholes that think racism is awesome that have made the world what it is today.
-------------------
YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Clarisse,
Thanks.
I know it is as corny/Oprahesque as hell but the truth is that nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
Not even cheesecake.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"I'm having a Chico's kind of day."
DMX is my favorite rapper alive but he needs to get his shit together.
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 1:51pm.
Eyeroll: speaking of nutrition eyeroll needs some Vitamin Bertoooo in her diet. Yep im talking about you swallowing my cum.
_____________________________________
DMX already sucked it all out of you
*hands Mrs K., a carrot-stick*
Conga-rats on your loss. If you miss it, i'll send it right back!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Why do I think Umbertoooo/Robertooo is Nectardo?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, brightlight, feeling pretty psyched.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
Submitted by speakit on August 27, 2008 - 1:42pm.
Bait and switch. I SEE IT. Umbertooooooooooooo is too pussy to admit he's RACIST.
________________________________
he pretty much jes a pussy
Submitted by yepyepyep on August 27, 2008 - 1:37pm.
Thank you very much, dear.
I appreciate that.
Even my husband the Pudgster hasn't noticed. He's like "Weight loss, schmeight loss, get me a frickin' beer."
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"I'm having a Chico's kind of day."
*giggles to self*
I'm outta here too !
***********^**********+*********
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 4:34pm.
mongoloid as in retard, not the pan fac...ummm asian version
Its like my professor said today: You can either change or you cannot change. If you physically cannot change your behavior then you are mentally retarded. If you are not mentally retarded and refuse to change you are just a lazy asshole.
So please go away otherwise you will be a lazy asshole by default. You dont deserve to be associated with mentally retarded people.
Submitted by EyeRoll on August 27, 2008 - 4:39pm.
Mongoloid?
Are you fuckin' kidding me with that crap?
People stopped using that word about 70 years ago.
It's people with Down Syndrome, not mongoloid, you ignorant small dicked friendless asswipe.
________________________________
Bait and switch. I SEE IT. Umbertooooooooooooo is too pussy to admit he's RACIST.
the judge reminds me of Dr. Evil.
Mongoloid?
Are you fuckin' kidding me with that crap?
People stopped using that word about 70 years ago.
It's people with Down Syndrome, not mongoloid, you ignorant small dicked friendless asswipe.
Byyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee missy! And snowy, if I'm reading right!
-------------------
YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
clarisse that sounds familliar actually...
anywhore, good night.. you guys rock♥♥
(not you umberpoo)
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Mrs.Kravitz
congrats on your weight loss
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Submitted by Clarisse on August 27, 2008 - 3:15pm.
LCT,
Methinks Umbertoo's mommy didn't hug enough.
````````````````````````````````````
or maybe too much...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The impressions fans have of celebrities are always fictional. - Stephen King
g'night lovies, have fun!
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
LCT,
Bananas the word! *wink wink*
Missy,
It is the sequel to "From Baghdad, With Love: A Marine, the War, and a Dog Named Lava", which was FABU!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Farrah!!!
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 27, 2008 - 5:00pm.
How about "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret."
Mrs K, I loved that book - it seemed so risque.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She's flat and that's that!
Submitted by Clarisse on August 27, 2008 - 4:28pm.
I know! I hate that dumb Atkins motherfucker!
The funny thing about these people who would say,"No bananas, no fruits, just LOTS of protein." would get about 50 grams of protein at one time. I would try to explain to them that all of that excess protein wouldnt be able to be absorbed at once and would just turn to wasted carbs anyway. Hardly anybody listened to me though.
I recently changed my major to dietetics. People (for the most part) are horrible at self dieting and are really malnourishing their bodies for the sake of weight!
just from the title it sounds good!
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
mongoloid as in retard, not the pan fac...ummm asian version
Missy / Mrs K.,
I am currently reading "From Baghdad to America: Life Lessons from a Dog Named Lava" and it is very good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 1:28pm.
Mrs. K! You sound like you're starving! Come inside and have some homemade couscous--you're skin and bones!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FFS somebody finally noticed!!! Do you know how many people at work have noticed/mentioned my 17- pound weight loss
NONE.
Assholes.
What is the fucking point of losing weight if nobody is gonna notice?!?!?!
OK, where da fried chicken at?
*admiring my new figure in the mirror*
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"I'm having a Chico's kind of day."
why do this dumbass think he's the sh!t? he's so self-delusional. reminds me of obama.
Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese, thank you for the breakdown on how healthy bananananananananananas are. However, we can no longer speak about bananas in here, because monkeys eat bananas, and one time a white person called a black person monkey-like because they were swinging from a tree, so cease or we will die.
-------------------
YOUR JUST JEALUS OKAY YOU CAN'T MAKE THE SKIDMARK WITH BLOW TOOT TIMES SHE HAS THE BUTT BURN CHOCOLATE TACO OKAY WOW!
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 3:27pm.
Submitted by Kp on August 27, 2008 - 4:21pm.
Umbertoooo's picture
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 4:19pm.
LOL bananas healthy?!?! Seriously read a fucking book you idiot.
Nope. How bout you read a book, Umbertooo you fucking idiot.
No YOU read a book. You cunt faced mongoloid.
------------------------------
How about this, Umberpoooo: Why don't you take a copy of Uncle Tom's Cabin and shove it up your racist asshole far enough so later you can poop out all your prejudice and flush it down the toilet?
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Umbertoooo if you are sincere in your desire to read a book I will make a recommendation.
I am what they call in the profession a YA (young adult) librarian.
How about "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret."
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"I'm having a Chico's kind of day."
Submitted by Umbertoooo on August 27, 2008 - 4:27pm.
No YOU read a book. You cunt faced mongoloid.
______________________________
Mongoloid? Did you mean that as an insult?
THAT WOULD BE RACIST.
EVERYONE GO READ A FUCKING BOOK!
no seriously its fun and you learn things
Im reading "1964" a beatles bio
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Kp,
Yeh, there are all schools of thought. I say (IMO) that natural sugars are ok and metabolize much easier than man made.
The carb phobia came right from Atkins. Evil fucker!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K