Wednesday, August 27th 2008
Jenny Aniston Is Totally Getting Married
It looks like Jennifer Aniston's Second Life boyfriend finally popped the question! He asked her while they were both flying across a volcano. He told her to go pick out the prettiest Cracker Jack box ring she could find. He's the one. I know it!
Jenny Aniston wore a ring on her left knitting claw yesterday which means she's engaged and knocked up. Right? Or maybe she forgot to take off the ring after her daily afternoon fake wedding to one of her cats. "This is the way she wash our paw....wash our paw..."
Here's newly engaged Jenny going to lunch with Woody Allen at Madeo. Woody Allen?! Jen! I know your options are dwindling, but Woody fucking Allen?!
Wenn
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I am a certifiable Jenniloonie. I think she looks great and makes casual look chic! So There!
Since I have no ocean to go bay at, I will have to settle for whimpering at the riverboats down on the old RiverWalk in dntn San Antonio...
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Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, brightlight, feeling pretty psyched.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
It's pretty said when your pr people have to call and find you dates. Seriously pathetic.
LEAVE HER ALONE!
Give me John Doe anyday. Or Billy Zoom.
"Sono le feci dal Signore" - D. Galas
I don't really like JA, but she looks okay here even though she still has that Jay Leno chin!! Her toenails are painted a lovely shade of red and those shoes actually look pretty hot.
She looks fab as always. I love her, and
stop the presses Jennifer is wearing a ring, ooo scandalous, also what pity game, she isn't playing any, she's just living her life. She said in the march 2006 vogue that "Don't make me your victim ... It makes my skin crawl" You people are the ones that throw pity patries for her because in your minds she lost her whole entire world when divorced stu-pitt. I find it very hard to belive that her life is so sad without him. also she would not be on forbes list of wealthiest actress if her career ened
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
and her career died the moment Friends did.
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Three movies in the past year and at the top of Forbes most bankable stars is hardly a career going south.
She may not be the most beautiful star in Hollyweird, but she always looks great!
I don't ever pay attention on which finger i put my rings....sometimes i might wear a ring on my "wedding" finger, 'cause in reality i don't go around looking at people's hands....but no sooner than later i get somebody saying "ooooh are you engaged???" and i'm like wtf bitch get a life!.....seriously stupid!
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
Submitted by Hairicane on August 27, 2008 - 10:19am.
holy CRAP!!!! there's nurse RATCHETT (sp)!!!!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh heart attacking
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It's Nurse Ratched, dear. Now you'd better not misspell my name again, or I'll have to administer a rather large enema to your ass.
LOL!!!
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
I would kill to have her hair - it always looks so nice, great color, shine & texture.
How can they tell that's a wedding ring? is it just because she is wearing a ring on her ring finger or what?. Anyway, I don't know the fuzz about her having "failed" relationships, most of us have had them. It's better to have failed relationships than having a bunch of FAILED MARRIAGES. I don't like people who marry every one they THINK it's the right one just to end up divorcing in a few years, just because they can.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by Snarkley on August 27, 2008 - 8:24am.
Poor Jen, another failed relationship. I suppose now she should get back to work and make, I dunno, maybe three more movies in which she plays a Rachel Greene-type character who's dealing with the ups and downs of her love life.
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Well like my gammy always said...find something you're good at and stick with it!
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An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 11:11am.
Oh, no? Well, the security camera I stole from the local Trader Joe's tells a different story, you naughty beesh! lol!
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GDI! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? Please don't tell the restaurant I used their whole jar of pickles. They might make me pay for it. Or give them back.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by Hairicane on August 27, 2008 - 8:22am.
What's fresh meat compared with fitting into your skinny jeans?
A few weeks ago I bought a pair of jeans and to call them T-I-G-H-T would be an understatement. To describe them "painted on" would have been an understatement!
Fast Forward to today. I am wearing those jeans and they are so baggy that, let's just say, if I donned Yankees cap and some white patent leather basketball sneakers you'd think Tupac had risen from the dead.
True story.
So if I take off my wedding ring and I still can't get any fresh meat, meh.
I wear rings on my wedding finger...uh, but im married.:P Seriously though...even when i was single and wore rings on that finger...i SWEAR that i got picked up on MORE than when i didnt wear a ring.
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I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!!
Cute jacket, no? I'll just pulll the string on the bodice....
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if your firme with me, im firme with you simple as that.
ooh good job mrs k :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Poor Jen, another failed relationship. I suppose now she should get back to work and make, I dunno, maybe three more movies in which she plays a Rachel Greene-type character who's dealing with the ups and downs of her love life.
Hairicane:
Not only was he married to Exene (band X) but has a son with, for which he has an H (Henry) tattooed on his wrist.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 27, 2008 - 11:16am.
Sometimes I don't even wear my wedding ring...usually, when I am put on the prowl looking for fresh meat
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Has it ever worked for you Mrs. Kravitz? Sometimes I don't wear a ring and NOTHING. NADA. NOWHERE. Now I wonder why I even bother at all.
Submitted by Oxygen on August 27, 2008 - 11:18am.
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That's a really good idea! She should buy herself a 25 carat diamond wedding ring and just wear it all the time. Then she and the rest of the world will get over it about her not being married (anymore) or whatever.
She is my favorite. I love her. I saw her profile on milllionaire personals site""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""" yesterday. It is said she is in relationship with a young handsome guy on that site now. Is she single again?
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holy CRAP!!!! there's nurse RATCHETT (sp)!!!!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh heart attacking
I'm surprised she's going to lunch with Woody Allen. Hasn't anyone told her that he doesn't like women over 25?
As for her patheticness, it may be "old" but it's pretty clearly still relevant, much like Wonky's sluttiness or Shitney's greasy filthiness. Let's face it -- she may have money, but her unattractive looks are rapidly going south and her career died the moment Friends did.
She's the most publicized has-been in the world, and her man-quest is the only reason anyone still remembers her, and if it weren't for that she'd have as much publicity as Lisa Kudrow and Courteney Cox. If that isn't pathetic, I dunno what is.
Submitted by Salem13 on August 27, 2008 - 11:15am.
Oh **** can we get NEW celebrities? I don't care about Brangelina or their IVF twins or Jenn. What is Viggo doing?
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Truly.
Didja know that Viggo used to be married to Exene Cervenka? I betcha you did (but only us two know who Exene is, right?)....how could Exene have let that hot mess go?!?!?!? I love John Doe, but Viggo?!?!?!
She only has one piece of flair on. She should just get a wedding ring finger full of rings. Gold ones, silver, platinum, plastic, dangly, stones, gems....and flip every one off with that finger full of rings and tell them to SIT~N~SPIN!!
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
Submitted by oklahoma on August 27, 2008 - 10:11am.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 11:10am.
It's Theeeeee Jennifer Aniston story as told to you by Mother Goose!
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*looks up at you w/ big puppy dog eyes* Tuck me into bed now, pweeeese.. *sniffles*
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*Tucks Okie in* There ya go, my little beesh. *hands okie a blunt to suck on*
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Sometimes I don't even wear my wedding ring...usually, when I am put on the prowl looking for fresh meat.
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An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
Submitted by christine the hoff on August 27, 2008 - 11:14am.
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Right Said Fred!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipZDG6__Zfc
Oh fuck can we get NEW celebrities? I don't care about Brangelina or their IVF twins or Jenn. What is Viggo doing? Or somebody else its the same 5 celebrities over and over and over again, fuck give me somebody new for a change.
pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssseeeee, can we HAVE ANOTHER PICTURE/TOPIC? This one is SO BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm engaged to myself because I'm too sexy for anyone else.
But I'm holding off for our wedding night, I want it to be specuil.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Submitted by No Words on August 27, 2008 - 11:11am.
Well, I have a confession.
Sometimes I wear a ring on my left hand and it isn't my wedding ring! Sometimes, it's a different ring! OMG!
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ya. me, too. today i'm wearing a small GREEN square turquoise ring on my wedding rings finger. OMG! the diamonds were tired and wanted to rest in the velvet box.
geez, MK. Slow news day?? Its prolly a Victorian era ring that's so tiny that's the only finger it would fit on.
i will say, though, that green is the color of the heart chakra so make of it what you will...
Well, I have a confession.
Sometimes I wear a ring on my left hand and it isn't my wedding ring! Sometimes, it's a different ring! OMG!
*snort*
I still fail to see how this woman is pathetic...tons of moola, gorgeous bod, no obligations to anyone but herself, and best of all, NO PITT.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 27, 2008 - 10:09am.
Who is she engaged to? Herself?
I'm engaged to myself. I just gave myself congratulatory engagement sexy times.
No, not really.
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Oh, no? Well, the security camera I stole from the local Trader Joe's tells a different story, you naughty beesh! lol!
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 27, 2008 - 11:04am.
why can't people wear rings on that finger?
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I do. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to. Who makes the jewelry rules? WHO? Whoever you are, I'm breaking them. {{wearing yellow gold earrings, a platinum necklace and white gold rings}}. j/k!
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 27, 2008 - 11:10am.
Submitted by oklahoma on August 27, 2008 - 10:06am.
YourMom.. haha!! such a good story, I'll be reading that to my grandchildren one day.. *wipes tear*
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It's Theeeeee Jennifer Aniston story as told to you by Mother Goose!
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*looks up at you w/ big puppy dog eyes* Tuck me into bed now, pweeeese.. *sniffles*
Missy
The Trouble With Jennifer Aniston’s Boyfriend-PR Strategy
Submitted by oklahoma on August 27, 2008 - 10:06am.
YourMom.. haha!! such a good story, I'll be reading that to my grandchildren one day.. *wipes tear*
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It's Theeeeee Jennifer Aniston story as told to you by Mother Goose!
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
Maniston needs a man...again...*yawn*...she's about as exciting as watching ice melt. that's why she can't hold on to any dudes. Plus, she seems like a world-class beotch. Fuck Maniston AND Brangelina. That is all.
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Who is she engaged to? Herself?
I'm engaged to myself. I just gave myself congratulatory engagement sexy times.
No, not really.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Good God, the only thing this poor bitch is relevant for is a tv show in the nineties and being dumped for skankalina.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Oh enough already! She's loaded, independant and has a body to kill for. Nobody cares about this Poor Jennifer shit anymore.
Next!!
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
YourMom.. haha!! such a good story, I'll be reading that to my grandchildren one day.. *wipes tear*
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I DID only have two beers, It was the Liqour that fucked me up!!
Submitted by speakit on August 27, 2008 - 8:02am.
Submitted by NovaNightly on August 27, 2008 - 10:54am.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 27, 2008 - 7:50am.
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I do believe that it's "afterlife"...not afterworld.;) Still...awesome song!!! :D
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He says/sings 'afterworld'. Prince is so cool he creates his own vocabulary, or something like that. I'm changing my name to a symbol right now.
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Well i could swear he says afterlife...which makes more sense since he is talking about life....hmmm. *scratches head* I need to get out my prince and have a listen. :D
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I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time!!
Submitted by missy on August 27, 2008 - 8:02am.
I saw that, too, and it was an excellent article. I will try to find it.
Winner gets blooped!
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An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
why can't people wear rings on that finger?
BFD
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He put himself so low he could hardly even look me in the face
- Fiona Apple
Jenny had Brad but had no baby
After he split, she looked at Vaughn and said, "maybe."
But he dumped her ass like yesterday's trash
Saying she was too needy, but he DID like her cash.
Then she shacked up with some douchebag named John
Who wrote her a dumb song, and then he was gone.
She looked to her friends for what peace she may get
And rang up her best bud Courtney Cox-Arquette.
Courtney said, "Let's fool the media with false wedding rocks,"
So Jen now dons a ring from a Crackerjack box!
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"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."
@Nova--it's all good, doll!♥
Don't tell me not to live
just sit and putter,
Life's candy and the sun's
a ball of butter,
Don't bring around a cloud
to rain on my parade.
Don't tell me not to fly,
I've simply got to
If someone takes a spill
It's me and not you.
who told you you're allowed
to rain on my parade?
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.