Tuesday, August 26th 2008
What The Fuck Happened To Kelly Osbourne?!
Kelly Osbourne left her house in London today looking like she just went toe-to-toe with Vadge's roided-up vagina and LOST! Kelly wouldn't say how she got the shiner.
Kelly, whatever you do, don't blow your nose! My friend recently got a black eye from being a drunken mess and bitches kept telling him not to blow his nose at all! I guess it makes it worse. If you can't blow your nose, how are you going to get the jizz out after facials? That's my question.
Here's more of busted up Kelly with her pretty boyfriend on their way to the doctor's office.
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Submitted by Green Is Good on August 26, 2008 - 3:50pm.
At least food is still her friend.
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I totally got over my food addiction. Ask me how.
Lose 150 pounds in two weeks!
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An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
I just noticed that porky is carrying huge pair of sunglasses. Took them off for the paps obviously. Shit, she probably tipped them off and bashed her own head in. She's jealous of our little Wino.
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 26, 2008 - 3:47pm.
Poor thing is NEVER going to be slim...NEVER. It's just not in her genetic makeup.
She needs to dress for her body type.
And while I've got your attention I just want to thank all the people with ugly feet who don't wear sandals or strappy shoes. I appreciate the effort.
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An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
At least food is still her friend. The camera is not.
Ouch. That looks mighty painful.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz
I'm not obese but I got really big, ahem, "guns" so, if I wear puffy sleeves, that, in addition to my damn man hands makes me look like a shim.
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Unlike Kelly O'Porker here tho, the trick is to have a little puff left over around the arms...she's wearing that blouse like a fucking tourniquet.
Hey! maybe it's a tourniquet and the bag of chippies is a bandage.
more trash like this needs to be taken 'out.' this is what people like the lohans need; a beat down.
thats her boyfriend? he looks 12 and gay.
i say she got drunk and got into a fight.
Leatherette on August 26, 2008 - 2:52pm.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 26, 2008 - 5:40pm.
This one time in Mexico I walked into a door.
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ah, Mrs. K. I feel your pain. This one time in Camp Pendleton I walked into a penis.
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Haha there is alot of that going on there.
I am for leeving, and be bak sewn.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 26, 2008 - 6:04pm.
Where's the consulate? I need a visa to your cuntry.
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You have to ventur into the Bog of Loneleeness and then erupt out of the Volanow of Menstrul Doom, and onse you get out of ther, you will be in the Land of Immens Organik Carrots, and its the furst rite turn into Open and Willing Mouth Cave.
Kelly appears to have slimmed down in the above picture, i have seen pictures of her with more weight. If the way in which Kelly looks is considered fat by hollywood standards it is sad. Kelly looks like an average sized woman and is keeping herself in fairly good shape. Sometimes it isn't eating alone that causes people to gain weight, genetics can be a factor as well.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 26, 2008 - 2:52pm.
YOWTCH!!!!!!
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by Clotty McClingOn on August 26, 2008 - 3:03pm.
Where's the consulate? I need a visa to your cuntry.
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An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
Submitted by Thornhill on August 26, 2008 - 2:58pm.
Puffy sleeves does nothing for the obese. You can put lipstick on a pig it's still bacon in the makin...
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I'm not obese but I got really big, ahem, "guns" so, if I wear puffy sleeves, that, in addition to my damn man hands makes me look like a shim.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 26, 2008 - 6:00pm.
You is on FY-YAH!!!
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I is? In my cuntry, to show happy times, we give pats on bum cheeks with woodn spewns and then spred lips on face wide so it looks like we smile to back of heds!
Submitted by Clotty McClingOn on August 26, 2008 - 2:59pm.
You is on FY-YAH!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
Submitted by The C word on August 26, 2008 - 2:40pm.
Submitted by NovaNightly on August 26, 2008 - 5:24pm.
I do seem to remember some pictures of her drunk azz walking into a wall...so i suppose with her the "i walked into a door" excuse might be true. lol.
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Oh, so she's "Clumsy Drunk". :D
I'm "Happy Drunk".
But my s/o wishes I was "Horny Drunk".
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Ohhh....well im usually a "Dizzy Drunk". I seriously cant drink that much anymore because i start getting light headed and dizzy really quickly. Gone are the days of playing pool for pitchers of beer. *sniffle*
I AM however...if caught BEFORE i start to get the dizzies...an outrageous "Horny Drunk"...lol. Woooo...good times. good sexy times. :D
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Your garden club called. Their Ho is missing!
Anne of Green Gables wored puffy sleevs becaus Matthuw let her.
Submitted by Sandbitch on August 26, 2008 - 2:57pm.
I once near broke my nose by slamming it into a curved glass cake display at Starbucks trying to pick out mah cake. They'd just cleaned the damn thing and it was invisible. I left a greasy full face effigy of pain on the glass...like a shroud.
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OMG!!! LOL
oooops, excuse me
*going off to change my XXXL Depends*
I ♥ cake
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An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 26, 2008 - 5:57pm.
You're getting warmer!
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OKAY! YES! Is you sweet like a poopy filld with 5 sent candees and Pepsee dippd in ice creem?
Puffy sleeves does nothing for the obese. You can put lipstick on a pig it's still bacon in the makin...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Most of what you worry about, never happens..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill
Submitted by Leatherette on August 26, 2008 - 2:57pm.
true, supporting the troops has its hazards.
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Outright prolonged laughter~~~~
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An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
I once near broke my nose by slamming it into a curved glass cake display at Starbucks trying to pick out mah cake. They'd just cleaned the damn thing and it was invisible. I left a greasy full face effigy of pain on the glass...like a shroud.
Submitted by Clotty McClingOn on August 26, 2008 - 2:56pm.
I am thinking you is sweet like pancack smeard with coconut buttur and coffey shugur.
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You're getting warmer!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 26, 2008 - 5:54pm.
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true, supporting the troops has its hazards.
My motto:
Just say no to puffy sleeves.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 26, 2008 - 5:55pm.
Lies, all of it...spurious vicious LIES!!!!!
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I am thinking you is sweet like pancack smeard with coconut buttur and coffey shugur.
Submitted by Clotty McClingOn on August 26, 2008 - 2:50pm.
Mrs. Kravitz, I am heering of your wonderfulniss.
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Lies, all of it...spurious vicious LIES!!!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
Looks like the beer truck backed up onto her face. I bet maaco wont be able to get the fender damage out of that ..
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Most of what you worry about, never happens..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill
Submitted by Leatherette on August 26, 2008 - 2:46pm.
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ah, Mrs. K. I feel your pain. This one time I walked into a penis.
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I know, I know; been there & done that.
"I didn't plan for it to happen...it just happened!!"
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
Once, I walked into Vag, and her dried up chocha poked me like a burnt pine cone.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 26, 2008 - 5:40pm.
This one time in Mexico I walked into a door.
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ah, Mrs. K. I feel your pain. This one time in Camp Pendleton I walked into a penis.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on August 26, 2008 - 2:45pm.
sadly, no. :(
The bathroom had a screen, no window. There was a party/concert/wedding reception that night that was going on for hours, so I closed the bathroom door to block out the noise. I got up in the middle of the night to go potty and BAM!!!!!
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An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
that´s hot
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 26, 2008 - 5:40pm.
This one time in Mexico I walked into a door.
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Mrs. Kravitz, I am heering of your wonderfulniss.
Once, in Pakistan, I walked into a goat.
ONE TIME I RAN INTO A BEER, LOOKS LIKE KELLY RAN INTO THE KEG!!
put some sunglasses on! YUCK
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 26, 2008 - 2:40pm.
This one time in Mexico I walked into a door.
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Was tequila involved?
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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don't play coy with us, MK, who popped her but good?
Damn! It looks like Kelly's food finally bit back!
BTW, what is up with the blog being all long and shit? Is it just me?
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Dick happens! - MK
This one time in Mexico I walked into a door.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
An unstoppable force of knowledge, Big Toe’s got the scoop on all the latest info, and knows what’s going down at all times... Except for when it comes to you. What’s up with you? Big Toe wants to know.
Submitted by NovaNightly on August 26, 2008 - 5:24pm.
I do seem to remember some pictures of her drunk azz walking into a wall...so i suppose with her the "i walked into a door" excuse might be true. lol.
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Oh, so she's "Clumsy Drunk". :D
I'm "Happy Drunk".
But my s/o wishes I was "Horny Drunk".
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Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place.
Chunks need luvvin too...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Most of what you worry about, never happens..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill
srsly tho, maybe she had eye surgery, better than running into a door, or Lilly Allen's fist
She just looks like she has a bad case of dandroff too
I love Kelly, couldn't give a fuck if she's carrying the chub. I'm a cuddly gal myself
Haribo macht Kinder froh und Erwachsene ebenso.
The gummibears will help. :)
* SAVE THE FORESTS, EAT MORE BEAVERS!!!*
... last thumbnail, shit -- Popeye comparisons are no joke. And why's the I-10 running cross her head? Balding Popeye.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on August 26, 2008 - 5:09pm.
Sharon probably tried to chuck another ham at the noisy neighbors and Kelly tried to intercept the pass.
Awesomely funny!