Monday, August 25th 2008
The Photoshop Awards: The "Desperate Housewives" Promo Shots
Every time promo shots come out for the new season of "Desperate Housewives," I expect to see a bunch of mannequins looking all "desperate" in a room filled with apples. The promo pictures for season 5 aren't anything new. These hos look about as waxy as those apples laying around them. What is up with all those apples anyway? Teri Snatcher needs to pick one up and eat it. Eva LongWHORIA needs to stuff one down her throat. And Marcia Cross looks like a hot ginge ghost who is about to eat your soul. And her skin is making the floor look tan.
I usually don't look forward to this shit show, but I am this season. Gale Harold, the return of Edie and a haggard (more than usual) Eva LongWHORIA? I'm in.
VIA ONTD
Mmmmmm......Gale Harold. Great, now I am going to have to watch this crappy show just to see him.
At least 9.5 earthquake needs to happen when they are on set all together.
There's 3 solo pix of LongWHORIA but only *1* of Felicity??? WTF???!!!
------------------------------------------------
Gary Busey is a poet too?? Now, that's a real man!!
the only positive thing i can say is that those dresses are beautiful... fuck, i hate being poor...
I've never watched a single episode of "Desperate Housewives" in my life. But after hearing that Gale Harold has joined the cast, I'm going to have to at least check him...er...the show out to see if it's worth watching. Lord knows that "Vanished" series was utter rubbish.
Marcia Cross and Nicolette Sheridan are botoxed to death. Their faces can hardly move anymore! They're so fucking creepy.
I can't believe this show still on, and all the freaking versions that have popped up all over LatinAmerica.....I think is overrated...
Marcia Cross has, and always will be, absolute perfection. Eva Longoria looks like a chihuahua, and Teri Hatcher's face is melting off on one side.
I'd rather have a hot poker shoved up my ass before I watch this crap.
I thought this show was getting cancelled?
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on August 26, 2008 - 6:58am.
If you want to know who voted Bush into office watch primetime.
Yeah, I forgot about movies.. I keep a stash of my favorites and watch them if I'm in a TV mood.
I'd sit through American Beauty, Crash, L.A. confidential, the Godfather movies, Goodfellas, etc, ten times before I'd watch some of these lame ass sitcoms.
-----------------------------------------------
"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
I love that shitty shit shit show. Mainly watch it for Marcia and Felicity.
I watch the Thursday night NBC lineup, and that's it. The rest of my TV viewing is South Park, movies on TCM or IFC, The Whitest Kids U Know, or a Netflix movie. I've Tivo'd Mad Men but have not started watching it.
The networks irritate the shit out of me, programming to the lowest common denominator of society, like the morons out of Idiocracy. Sad!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yur sketti...I will haz it.
Felicity and Dana are beautiful, the rest, meh.
this show pissed me off to no end, the first season was fantastic, truly dramatic and I was hooked and then, out of nowhere, it just started sucking ass... I gave up after three eppys of the second season.
and I agree with the general opinion that TV sucks.
I've never seen how I met your mother, two and half men, lost , 24, everyone loves raymond, and on and on
the only TV I watch anymore is South park, family guy, american dad and the simpsons and it's a sad commentary on the US to say the biting wit, satire for intelligent people is only found in our fucking cartoons.
-----------------------------------------------
"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Never watched it, never will. Teri Hatcher scares me.
********
"How much is that doggie in the window?"
Never watched,will never watch it and all those ho's are nasty.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
American television is awful, and Desperate Housewives is a good reflection of this.
The first series was fairly good, although the second series was just awful. Completely unwatchable. Feel free to include Lost and 24 in that group as well.
A lot of British TV shows end on a high, and they don't pad each series out with 15 unnecessary filler episodes. American shows just go on and on until they're been completely run into the ground. Unfortunately, even the BBC seem to be copying this formula!
Television seems to be the great bastion of the unoriginal and simple minded. They could flash a couple of comments from DListed on screen once and hour and it would be infinitely more enjoyable than this shite.
=========================================
Are we sure Xtina has not passed on and her final request was to be embalmed standing up holding a bottle of her nasty perfume? - DivasGone
I'll be watching *blush*
I find it hilarious that Dana Delaney is 6 years older than Marcia, and nearly 20 years older than Eva
Yet she's hands down the youngest- and best-looking out of this bunch of hags :)
I'm completely ignorant of primetime TV and boring soap operas, and I thought this show was supposed to have dropped off the edge of the earth.
________________________________________________
It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again.
Too much fug, please make it stop!
Did anyone see the new Hills? These girls look like angels sent to save the world compared to tranny Lo who looks like a monster scraped up from 30,000 leagues under the sea and Satan Pratt. Congrats.
"It's not how long it takes, it's who's taking you." --marilyn
Photoshop? MK, don't you mean Madame Tussauds?
Remember how this was initially heralded for exposing the concerns of tribulations of real American women? Sort of like "Sex & The City" and "Will & Grace" did too?. Seriously, "The Golden Girls" was worlds more incisive and genuine than any of this bilge that might as well feature female impersonators.
"Oh my God, I've been dying for the next season of Desperate Housewives to begin, and I'll be tuning in weekly, like it's a religion," said no one.
/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
"Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone," he told me, "always remember that not everyone has had the same advantages in life that you've had."
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
I'll bet this season they'll be acting like REALLY desperate housewives.
---------------------------------------
She is my favorite. I love her. I saw her profile on milllionaire personals site""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""" yesterday. It is said she is in relationship with a young handsome guy on that site now. Is she single again?
------------------------------
True enough...then maybe you can devise a plan to rid us of 'the two who shall not be named' for a good year if not longer...
**********************************************
"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
Submitted by boomsy on August 25, 2008 - 11:48pm.
What can they do? Lock me away from Brad and those crazy kids?
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
@JH: Are you sure you're allowed to be talking about all that? Don't want you to get locked up somewhere or anything.
**********************************************
"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
Submitted by boomsy on August 25, 2008 - 11:37pm.
Thank you boomsy! It's not everyday that James Haven gets to hear that! It's usually:
"James Haven wear is my hat?"
"James Haven did you wash my delicates?"
"James Haven who ate the last Reese's peanut butter cup, and why do you have chocolate on your lip?"
"James Haven take your creepy ass out of my way"
"James Haven wear is my waterproof vibrator?"
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Crap, it didn't work but you can check it out on youtube if you want to be terrified!
James Haven, you are one of the most brilliant men I've ever talked to....bravo.
**********************************************
"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
The scary DH promo:
Submitted by James Haven on August 25, 2008 - 7:48pm.
Submitted by boomsy on August 25, 2008 - 11:09pm.
She doesn't like to wear red shoes. Says she has a fear that a house may land on top of her.
============
ROTFLMAO!!!!!
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
Literally, too white for me.
These bitches had the great Alfre Woodard on this shit cast and they did nothing with her character. No sex scenes, hot cloths, scandal-- nothing. Just uga booga crap.
____________________________
Blogs aren't for the sensitive at heart - FU
I'm NOT an economist, I'm an optimist. GW Bush
Submitted by boomsy on August 25, 2008 - 11:09pm.
She doesn't like to wear red shoes. Says she has a fear that a house may land on top of her.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Marcia Cross needs to meet a good spray tan.
***********************************************************
"You don't remember the motorcycle gang? Doing the striptease in front of them at the bar? The iguana? Good God, man. Tell me you remember the iguana!"
What makes Teri Hatcher so special she didn't have to wear red shoes like everyone else?
**********************************************
"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
It's like the 10 year reunion for the initial residents of the Shady Brooks Assisted Living Community.
***********************************************
Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Holy Fuck! These whores look like a centerfold pic for Real Dolls.com.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by James Haven on August 25, 2008 - 7:21pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on August 25, 2008 - 10:47pm.
... James Haven, the first brother? Can you imagine? Just think of all the ladies James Haven will get to give a tour to his new digs!
===========
Will James Haven ask for female Secret Service agents as his protection officers?
As for Hillary, she should realize that there is only so much James Haven and Mary Kay can do for her. Since she yaps about family so much, she should understand your family duties.
You just keep cool and soon everyone will know how important you are to Angie and Brad.
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on August 25, 2008 - 10:47pm.
*Kisses* Momus!
James Haven has alot on his plate. Now that Brad and Angie are fighting over who goes out without the kids, James Haven has added "ref" to his resume.
James Haven's MaryKay business is suffering over all this running back and forth!
Infact, Hillary is blaming James Haven because she lost. She said if her large pores weren't so visible she might have become the first woman President!
Doesn't she know ANGIE is going to be the first woman President and James Haven, the first brother? Can you imagine? Just think of all the ladies James Haven will get to give a tour to his new digs!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by James Haven on August 25, 2008 - 6:37pm.
*SMOOCHIES*
I just got in from work. Glad to see you. How's the Mary Kay going for you? Are you still rebuilding NOLA for Braddy's benefit?
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
The promo video I just saw on Access was even more horrifying. Plain awful!
That krinkly ass over there is more interesting than these twats.
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Eva Longoria looks like a surprised inflatable doll sitting on that chair...and by surprised I mean "Don't whip it out yet, you silly, I haven't had the time to open my mouth".
And Teri Hatcher...Dear Lord...they need to work her make-up out so her eyes LOOK even.
Jesus...
**************************************************
"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Quite possibly the most boring topic ever. But then again, I've never seen a nanosecond of this show. So I'm a little biased, I guess.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
This season is going to rot. This ridiculous leap into the future killed whatever interest I had in it. Too bad too, because I like Dana Delaney.
I'm glad Edie's coming back, looked like she'd left for good last season.
I dunno I still like this show, last season was pretty damn good after 2 years of pure shit so maybe they can keep the quality up for season 5?
James Haven has never felt so alone! Except for that time in Mexico when James Haven was arrested for wearing nothing but a sombrero. But that's for another time bitches!
Where is everyone?
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Look in thumbnail #3 - the close-up of Teri Hatcher. Is that a hint of a wonk I see?
If you run, you'll only die tired.