This Hag Should Be In Prison
Katherine Hei-Hei-Heeeeeeeeeiiigggl is a criminal and should be in the chokey making government cheese sandwiches on the radiator. You see, Heigl was busted by a cop on a bike for throwing her ratty ciggie to the ground after lunching at the delicious eatery known as P.F. Chang's. Get this shit. Heigl was able to talk herself out of a ticket. NOT RIGHT!
A source told Star Magazine, "The officer told Katherine to pick up the butt and throw it away in the trash, 10 feet away. He added that he'd fine her next time he catches her tossing trash on the sidewalk." Heigl is a big piece of trash, so the cop should have ordered her into the nearest dumpster!
Seriously, that cop should get his badge taken away and demoted to desk duty. I just checked the official law book of all laws and it states that any blonde-haired witch with the name Katherine Marie Heigl who throws a ciggie to the ground must automatically be sent to prison for life without parole. It also states that she must have her mouth sewn up.
If you don't believe me, just ask Smokey Bear! Here's an extremely creepy Smokey Bear ad featuring Joanna Cassidy. Smokey watches us all at night. I know it.