Oprah Has It Hard
Too busy to live? Well, Oprah is too busy to pose for the covers of her own magazine. The Mighty O has been on every cover since 2000 and she's sick of that shit! That's what Page Six claims anyway.
A source told them, "Oprah has told the editors at O magazine she's tired of being on the cover every month. It's a pain. It takes a lot of time and energy and she's sick of it. She's given them six months to figure out what to do without her."
Hmm...I say they should go to the next letter in the alphabet and change the name of the magazine to P. That way international supermodel Phoebe Price can be on the cover each week. I'm joking! Don't throw salmonella-laced cutlets at me!
A rep for the magazine said this shit is a bold-faced lie and that Oprah will continue to pose for covers.
How hard could it be to get your picture taken once or twice a month? If it's really such a hassle, Oprah should get herself cloned. Or she can just pay for Gayle King to have plastic surgery to look just like her. I'm sure Gayle would queef at the chance to be Oprah's twin.
And since I mentioned Chicken Cutlets in this post, it would be illegal for me not to include some stunning photos of her. Here she is posing with her dog and a magazine while out in Beverly Hills yesterday. Seriously, that dog can't wait to fucking feast on her cutlets while she sleeps. Look at him sniffing and shit.
Wenn
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That poor dog that Phoebe is holding probably has already been put down by now. Licking the rotten cutlets will do that to a bitch.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by angel_i on August 21, 2008 - 11:30pm.
Watch out bad mouthing my diet coke habit...
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I'll try...but please tell me that, at least, you don't drink it out of cans ;S
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You ever try shotgunning a 2 liter bottle? Can't be done.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 21, 2008 - 11:28pm.
@Angel,
Watch out bad mouthing my diet coke habit...
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I'll try...but please tell me that, at least, you don't drink it out of cans ;S
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Submitted by Mr. President on August 21, 2008 - 11:27pm.
The Living Dead should sue her for sullying their good name.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Phoebe,
Give those freckled, calloused knees a rest.
D-A
@Angel,
Watch out bad mouthing my diet coke habit... It is all the fun I have any more...well that and VS Superslims Menthol...lol. And the occasional cheese enchaladas..
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
Submitted by gnehyu on August 20, 2008 - 11:24pm.
Hey, my computer is very fast. I'm from Andromeda to conquer this site
TV: 'Dawn of the Dead' creator George Romero should sue Wino's makeup artist for trademark infringement.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
'Nite ESE.
On topic: Oprah may have a slight ego problem.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on August 21, 2008 - 11:23pm.
You call that mobile? She hasn't gotten 3 feet away from her crackpipe in the last 2 years.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
I was hoping Oprah was clutching her chest, one smile away from keeling over from a heart attack. Shit.
@ESE
Goodnight, Mr. Man! *kisses* *waving*
Submitted by angel_i on August 21, 2008 - 11:18pm.
Your diet soda is killing you. But, on the upside, it is also preserving your remains. So as long as you don't mind being the walking dead everything is AOK!
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So that's Wino's secret. I thought it was the frozen treats that were keeping her corpse mobile.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Night, ESE! Enjoy the Oprah Helper.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
alright, i gotta go, great to see ya all!
oooh, i missed Deb... hi, Deb!
smoke... if i die and TV isn't pissing on Kim K, i'm gonna be disappointed!LOL!
OT: really... were you expecting it?
see ya all!
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"It's a typical situation,
in these typical times.
We can't do a thing about it.
Too many choices."
TV, I had the Big Oprah and the bastard behind the counter forgot the damn sauce!
ESE, bad news about the cockroach plot. Mine have been on strike recently to protest their living conditions.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on August 21, 2008 - 11:02pm.
ESE, all this on-topic shit from you tonight is really scaring me. Are you OK? And while we're on topic: Is my diet soda killing me?
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Your diet soda is killing you. But, on the upside, it is also preserving your remains. So as long as you don't mind being the walking dead everything is AOK!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 21, 2008 - 11:43pm.
Well Deb, James Haven is leaving for France tomorrow, but you already knew that. The best he can do is suggest MaryKay's night time moisturizer. It works great and relives stress. Just ask Katie Couric. She has been using it for years! She's may still be funny looking but she doesn't have one wrinkle on her big ole face!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by smoke on August 21, 2008 - 11:14pm.
I regret that I have but one bladder full of piss to douse her with.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 21, 2008 - 11:12pm.
Oprah knows nothing about the kinda "company" i'm waiting for tonight(Gayle wasn't invited)... woo-hoo! on topic again!! thanks, PSL!
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"It's a typical situation,
in these typical times.
We can't do a thing about it.
Too many choices."
Submitted by Mr. President on August 21, 2008 - 11:10pm.
Just don't try the Big Oprah, no matter how much special sauce ESE slathers it with.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on August 21, 2008 - 11:06pm
We'll just invite Kim Kardassian and steer him in her direction. You'll be fine.
@TV,
There is an evil rumor that I borke the internetz...who started that and why didn't you bust him in the chops!!!! I would have stood up for you!
@ESE,
You hawt SLUT!
@James H.
I am sooooooo freaking read for a makeover! I feel like a strip of uncooked bacon...
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
Submitted by gnehyu on August 20, 2008 - 11:24pm.
Hey, my computer is very fast. I'm from Andromeda to conquer this site
Submitted by Mr. President on August 21, 2008 - 11:10pm.
and i heard a very disheartening phone call between the cockroaches in your place and mine... i'm tellin' ya, they have a plan... just be on the lookout!
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"It's a typical situation,
in these typical times.
We can't do a thing about it.
Too many choices."
omg, that Ginsu spammer isn't back, are they?
It was a mess this morning.
On T: "Oprah's cure for being overwhelmed", bottom left, yes Okra how does a billionaire cure being overwhelmed?
Buy a country? An island? A Stedman?
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
ESE, Oprah is glad you have company tonight....see? I'm on topic....
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But you don't understand my point of view, I suppose there's nothing I can do....
You didn't stand by me, no not at all
You didn't stand by me, no way
- The Clash "Train In Vain"
TV, I knew it! Guns don't kill people, diet soda kills people. Not worried though, it will have to get in line behind the beef jerky and Big Macs.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on August 21, 2008 - 11:02pm.
I saw your diet soda purchasing a handgun in Newark, so I'd be real careful if I were you. Switch to Dr. Pepper, at least he'll kill you with an accidental overdose.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
I want Belle Wattlings part in the remake of GWTW....after all i live in Atlanta now.....
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
Submitted by smoke on August 21, 2008 - 11:04pm.
depends... is TV gonna get so drunk he mistakes me as a urinal?
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"It's a typical situation,
in these typical times.
We can't do a thing about it.
Too many choices."
Submitted by Mr. President on August 21, 2008 - 11:02pm.
hey, Mr. P!.. it's the last audit that got me on topic, but.. watch this
OT: i don't care
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!... guess it didn't take!
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"It's a typical situation,
in these typical times.
We can't do a thing about it.
Too many choices."
I met some of Oprah's minions when the whole beef trial was happening. They skeered me. She also met with the soon to be mondo tard called Dr. Phil.
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on August 21, 2008 - 10:59pm.
ESE, if you die and we have a party, can we prop you up in the corner?
*Rose tint my world, keep me safe from the trouble and pain*
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 21, 2008 - 11:02pm.
you know it, dahlin!!LOL!
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"It's a typical situation,
in these typical times.
We can't do a thing about it.
Too many choices."
Submitted by Newportjoey on August 21, 2008 - 11:21pm.
SmOOches joey!
James Haven has been back for quite some time now, but is heading back to France tomorrow to help Angie out. Seems Brad is shirking his
duties at Casa Jolie-Pitt!
After James Haven has dinner with "Slip Knot", the boys are going to drive James Haven to the airport.
James Haven cannot take those crazy kids, but Angie needs him. Plus he has to put in a good word or two for Daddy Voight. James Haven has been going over the kids names with him because he sometimes forgets their names.
Last night he called the new kid, "Jax" and Knox, Brad Jr. Angie does not take kindly to people getting her kids names wrong. She went batshit on Bono because he called Shiloh, "Suri". Poor Bono. Even James Haven felt bad for him. Angie took off his glasses, twisted them in a ball and threw them across the room. They hit Mama Pitt right in the middle of her forehead! The bitch needed fives stitches. It's a good thing, James Haven took that First Aid class with Dr. Dre.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Hola backatcha TV ♥ Hi everyone else. I've been missing you all!
*Rose tint my world, keep me safe from the trouble and pain*
ESE, all this on-topic shit from you tonight is really scaring me. Are you OK? And while we're on topic: Is my diet soda killing me?
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
oooooh! ESE!
*sing-song voice* got company coming over at 11:00........oooooh!
heehee
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once my lover, now my friend; what a cruel thing to pretend;
what a cunning way to condescend; once my lover, now my friend
-Fiona Apple "Shadowboxer"
Submitted by smoke on August 21, 2008 - 10:55pm.
No, he's the size of Clifford, the big red dog. Even still, he was straining to push out her hips.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
SMOKE!!!... yep, all i got
-----------------------------
"It's a typical situation,
in these typical times.
We can't do a thing about it.
Too many choices."
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 21, 2008 - 10:55pm.
hi, PSL!... not in for long, got company coming over, just thought i'd check in to make sure people don't think i'm dead(and to make sure people aren't throwing a party at the thought of my demise!LOL)
OT: meh, a religion that buys her desciples cars... woo-hoo! on topic!
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"It's a typical situation,
in these typical times.
We can't do a thing about it.
Too many choices."
I remember when this egomaniac had a black celebration ball or something and decreed that everyone had to wear black.
Except for herself, in a gaudy red ball gown.
That about sums her up.
Submitted by smoke on August 21, 2008 - 10:55pm.
Holy shit!!!
Hola, Smoke!
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Oprah probably has so many pictures of herself, she could have a daily magazine and have a different pic on every cover for years.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Hahaha! I hope it was a little bitty conjoined twin, unless your dog is the size of an elephant. No, even an elephant isn't big enough to squeeze something that big out!
*Rose tint my world, keep me safe from the trouble and pain*
Hi ESE, TV, Mr Presdient, DeeDee and anyone I have missed...good crowd tonight...it's about time!
Oprah shouldn't be posing- who cares?
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once my lover, now my friend; what a cruel thing to pretend;
what a cunning way to condescend; once my lover, now my friend
-Fiona Apple "Shadowboxer"
Ugh, stupid spammers. If that tard is using a proxy site, they can't ban it permanately right?
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Submitted by Tracy Lynn on August 21, 2008 - 10:50pm.
Also: There was a mess earlier today? Did DFH break the internetz again?
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by Mr. President on August 21, 2008 - 11:12pm.
Hello Mr. President. Oh, she's always been jealous of James Haven. It all started when James Haven asked Oprah if she would play "Mammy" in the remake of "Gone with the Wind" that James Haven and Angie were set to do.
Seems she wanted to play "Melanie" but James Haven told her she was too plump to play Mellie. The best he could do for her, was "Aunt Pittypat".
Well Oprah threw her fist in the air and shouted: "May the Gods strike me down if I ever have James Haven or his twisted sister on my show!"
Alittle dramatic, no? Since then, she has a deep seeded hate for Angie and James Haven. She even invites Brad to her Christmas parties and purposely writes Angie's name on the envelope and then crosses it out!
But that's ok, because James Haven cut's out Oprah and Stedman's heads, pastes them on pictures of animals and sends it to all of their friends as a Christmas card! They still don't know James Haven is behind it, so keep it to yourselves, bitches!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 21, 2008 - 10:50pm.
chicken?... no, really... do you want chicken before you go to the chair?!LOL!
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"It's a typical situation,
in these typical times.
We can't do a thing about it.
Too many choices."
Submitted by Tracy Lynn on August 21, 2008 - 10:50pm.
They should've just done that last night, it may be using a proxy.
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Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
JAMES HAVEN!! Have you been to busy to live too?? Smooches!!! You must be busy rinsing out all those diapers......
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."