Marriage Ruins Everything
Chris Kattan and his new wife, model Sunshine Tutt, have split up after only 8 weeks of marriage. Okay, let's talk about her name first. Sunshine Tutt?! I don't like that shit. Let's call her Sunny Titts instead. That's better.
Chris' spokesbitch told UsWeekly that the two are "separated for the moment. No plans for divorce at this time." Sunny Titts and Chris married in California on June 28th after dating for 3 years. They got engaged in 2006.
I'm fucking telling you. Marriage kills everything! Every time a couple is married, a baby bunny dies a painful death. I'm sure of it. Look at Chris and Sunny Titts! They date for 3 long years, get married and two months later - DONE!
Oh, I see what's going on here. Look at Sunny Titts' face in the picture above. She's thinking, "Ahahaha! This fairy monkey actually married me! I'll be rich in exactly 8 weeks!" That warms my black heart. I love it when a gold digger almost completes her mission. I say "almost," because we don't know if there was a prenup. If Sunny Titts signed one, she's dead to me!
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18 years here.
must be in serious like ;)
CAUSE HE HAS NEVER HAD $$$ 8D
;) :) :O =) :p :( :\ :D
Submitted by Silvara0428 on August 19, 2008 - 10:39am.
@TexnDoc:
Finally a voice of reason I can relate to :)
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oh gwad please do not encourage this nut job.
I suppose his being gay has nothing to do with the split.
Closets with screen doors don't hide shit.
Albino Squirrel: thanks for the 411. she looks like a beyotch anyway!****************************1/20/09
"Blame it on the London air!"
She looks like she's posing for a Sears catalogue, he looks like he can't believe his luck.
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
the last wedding i went to was in june, and the dude is already saying his libito is down (hes only 29) and he's already cheated once, three weeks after the honeymoon.
FUCK getting married!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Wierd like she dresses wierd in little girls clothes and is always bitching and moaning, probably starving. I don't know her really well, but she dated Rupert Murdoch's grandson for a long time and they had this drama filled relationship. She is just odd, I guess the name Sunshine isn't exactly fitting.
@TexnDoc:
Finally a voice of reason I can relate to :)
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"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
They really don't look right together.
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"Oh lord, please help our athletes bring home the gold, enough gold so we can melt it down and buy back our economy from the Chinese". - Stephen Colbert
Maybe she pulled a Jessica Sklar Seinfeld on him.
"Every time a couple is married, a baby bunny dies a painful death. I'm sure of it"
this shiot is why MK is my main biotch
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"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
thought he'd stolen a David's Bridal mannequin, oh well, next.
The problem is that people in a failing long-term relationship think that marriage will solve their problems. See also: baby. Then they realize, duh, having a party doesn't solve problems, and get divorced. See also: child support.
In this case though, isn't he gay anyway? Oddness.
Marriage is sooo overrated.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
I never thought he was straight and I never thought he was funny. Thinking of changing my name to 'Always Sunny Titts'. That has a nice ring to it.
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Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets...
I don't buy your pre-nup theory, MK. This guy is rich? 50% of nothing is still nothing. If anything she got her first look at his bank statement and just said a barely audible "you gotta be kidding- 3 fuckin' years for this?" , packed her bags and walked out.
Albino Squirrel : like weird how? (I'm bored)
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"Blame it on the London air!"
Shocking.
[/sarcasm]
If Kattan is straight, I'm Ed Vedder with a sex change.
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We'll build a fire in your eyes, when the color's getting brighter.
[Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Gold Lion"]
Vote for me! It's free...and if I win, I'll buy an ad on D-Listed to thank you! (first row, first from left)
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Damn! when did he turn into one of those fugly little gnomes?
Poor Sunshine, imagine waking up and rolling over to that leering at you in the morning!
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Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
Yeah, I wouldn't blame the institution of marriage. I would blame dumb self-absorbed celebrity twats who think just because they've managed to make some money and a few people want to take their picture, they can make something as unselfish as marriage work.
This needs more cowbell.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ubXBHyOmBA
I thought he was gay.
I totally know this girl and my old roomate went to her wedding. She is skinny and weird and he's gay and weird, it should have worked, wtf?
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on August 19, 2008 - 11:15am.
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Alright god dammit, what asshole got married?
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
What is going on with his hair? It looks like a toupee.
Oh, I've been married for 17 years to the same person. Here's the thing: these famous people date for a LONG time, get married and then quickly call it quits. I hardly dated my husband. We got married after only 4 months and are going on our 18th year. Maybe that's the secret. I don't know.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Did Chris cheat with Matthew Broderick? or Marky Mark?
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Sunshine Twat, what?
How did Chris Kattan get her to begin with?
Is he packing large?
I totally thought he was a giant Mo.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by FritoDorito on August 19, 2008 - 11:12am.
Every time a couple is married, a baby bunny dies a painful death
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That's a PSA right there. Good call, MK.
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Jesus, it's true. My cat got into it with a bunny last night and now it lies lifeless near my front bushes.
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
::snort::
So I guess my husband and I are safe? We made it to 5 months this weekend!
"Model" with a WHOREible name + Shitty F-list comedian = Doomed marriage.
It's all in the math, people.
Yup... not getting married. Nope. Not having it.
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I am Mexican and and I do think Michael Bay's "Transformers" is racist.
Every time a couple is married, a baby bunny dies a painful death
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That's a PSA right there. Good call, MK.
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
What the fuck kind of name is SUNSHINE TUTT? That sounds like a spa option: "Would you like the hot stone massage or the sunshine tutt?"
MANGO!
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
LMAO!! Great stripper name! Sunny Titts!!
poor Mango
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"Blame it on the London air!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA :ahem: