Tuesday, August 19th 2008

Matt And Al Are Graceful Butterflies

This is exactly what your genitals need this morning. Make sure you put a fresh baby wipe over them before watching this video. They will either cry milky tears or barf up yesterday's meal. And you know exactly what I mean by "yesterday's meal." You filthy whore!

Matt Lauer and Al Roker have once again proven why they get paid the big bucks for their work on "Today." This morning they performed a male tandem rhythmic gymnastics routine to Gary Wright's "Dream Weaver." Male tandem gymnastics sounds like what I did last night. I just wish I had some Gary Wright playing in the background.

They should perform this shit at the Closing Ceremony.

P.S. - After seeing Al Roker in spandex, I can never look at a peanut the same way again.

Posted by: Michael K


Submitted by FireCat on August 19, 2008 - 12:41pm.
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Check this out http://puffincentral.com it's my OES funsite.

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Don't dream it... BE it!

day shift stripper's picture

hahaa, Brian Williams

"That was the most ludicrous pack of verbal peanut butter buttfuck I have ever read." ~DebFrmHell

http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony

aquarius's picture

I loved it! I agree with Stoney on the hilarious editing... and every time I've encountered any of them, they've been perfectly pleasant. I love the Today Show, I can't help it! The 4th hour with Kathie Lee and Hoda or Yoda or whateverthefuck her name is is hilarious, too.

thlayly5's picture

Warmed my black heart. And I loved Brian Wiliam's cameo... hee hee hee!

"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-

that was hee hee-larious.

letinstar's picture

2 minutes of my life i can never get back...and i have nothing to show for it...
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the world is great big old place for all of us to fuck up in it...

Chicklet's picture

I can't understand why the executives at these morning shows always make their stars do this crap. It's demeaning. They made Al Roker eat scorpions, too. ABC is no better, some bitch on there was being made to eat that shit as well. Maybe it's payback for the ridiculous salaries they pull down; the execs have to have the last laugh and show power over their slaves. I'm still trying to decide if I would make a fool of myself for a multi-million dollar contract, and the answer is more likely yes than no.

wristband's picture

I would hit matt.

boomsy's picture

Submitted by Mopa on August 19, 2008 - 11:15am

@mopa: That site is an overload of ooey gooey sweetness...scary.

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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel

Kizzy's picture

Props for remaining straight-faced through that. I'd have laughed.

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♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥

stake_spike's picture

Those bitches have nothing on Will Ferrell!

That's like the best part of Old School. Especially when Vince Vaughn's on the rings with the cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth. Damn I love that movie. Cheeeesssseeee!

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"Oh lord, please help our athletes bring home the gold, enough gold so we can melt it down and buy back our economy from the Chinese". - Stephen Colbert

TexnDoc's picture

Years ago SNL did a skit about swimming at the Olympics that had Martin Short as a semi-retarded guy with floaties on both arms - often copied but never any skits as funny as that (as this shows.)

boomsy's picture

Wow.

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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel

dee-lite's picture

gawd dayum some of yous need to get a f'in sense of humor....
uhhhmmmm, what about just reporting the news... huh?! you posting on a site that worships the tactless and tasteless. what the f@$k do you expect?!

watch me boogie's picture

No way am I watching that! Are you trying to kill us, Michael? Just the words "Al Roker" and "spandex" in the same sentence made my stomach do a little pukey-flop.

gyeah's picture

"yesterday's meal" = leches viejas!

FireCat's picture

Kacky- Get the Fuck out Eastern Star!
Rainbow Girl ovah here!

I was a fool to ever leave you
You were a fool to let me go

CeeCee's picture

Can't Al buy some socks that match?

Friggin' hilarious!!! I can't believe they get these two to do this crazy $h!t!!! Did you see them on the bobsled at the winter olympics, or synchronized swimming back in Athens??? These two always give much needed comic relief!

snowpiece's picture

Mopa : OMG too cute but in the bigger pics they remind me of Al Roker in his spandex spanx!****************************1/20/09
"Blame it on the London air!"

Mopa's picture

Submitted by snowpiece on August 19, 2008 - 11:11am.

Yep, I got the pic here:

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/08/this-just-in-ti.html

That was fucking funny! Matt was moving like he was taking the whole thing seriously which he probably was! I liked the Brian Williams cameo too.

snowpiece's picture

Mopa : are those baby platypus? platypussies? platypi? what's the plural? they are too cute.
****************************1/20/09
"Blame it on the London air!"

Lor's picture

This corny shit is the exact reason I started watching the CBS morning show when Couric left. If America likes this crap, then America are bunch of fucking bozos.

Athina's picture

I'm no fan of Al Roker. He's a racist fuck. If I hear him do one more Chinese joke or insulting Chinese language immitation, I'm going to punch the tv. Can't stand that over-inflated egomaniac.

KD's picture

I remember when Matt Lauer looked younger. That was probably just last year, though.

Your Mom Ate the Taco's picture

At one point, Al really looks like he's gotta take a mega-shit.

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it."

Bjork You's picture

Genius. Getting a sense of humour, folks.

FatMartha's picture

*laughs like a loon* I"m sorry but that was fucking hysterical because it was so pathetic.
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Hi5.

Disco Punk-Rockah's picture

What the fuck was that? Arent these Dickbags supposed to be news anchors???

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

Submitted by Mopa on August 19, 2008 - 8:46am.

Btw, what the fuck happened to just covering real news?
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Even though ITA with you I have to say I love Matt, Al, Meredith and Ann.
I just do.
*runs away and hides*

-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Nervenzusammenbruch

Mopa's picture

I love Dream Weaver, so I'm just going to close my eyes and listen.

Btw, what the fuck happened to just covering real news? All this stupid shit these morning programs and other news programs do just seems so desperate and sad to me.It's like they will do absolutely anything to get attention, no matter how stupid.

I just know there is actual imporant news that can be covered that could take up hours, no matter how long NBC decides they need to have the Today program on every day.

maDalice's picture

I was expecting that to be goofy and lame, and vaguely offensive (so gay!). But it was actually sweet and funny.

Jadedkitten's picture

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my eyes

:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that

chin chin's picture

btw al roker's face looks weird, did he get some work done or what?

-=meow hiss purr=-

dreamhypnotique's picture

Somewhere in retirement-village, Walter Kronkite wishes he were in a grave so that he could spin in it.

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Boats n' Hoes, gotta have me my boats n' hoes.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique

chin chin's picture

haha that was funny

-=meow hiss purr=-

Stoney's picture

Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I thought that was hilarious. Whoever edited that shit had a sense of humor! From the bored Russians and the choreography to Elfie and Tim expressions, I truly enjoyed that piece! I think they did a good job, and I am a critical biotch.

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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"

its six thirty in the morning......i am already stoned's picture

o fuck. well there you go. two dick holes.

get your own life perfect......then come talk to me!!!!!! ~~Michelle Aline~~

snowpiece's picture

imagine if it was the old fat Al?****************************1/20/09
"Blame it on the London air!"

He is my favorite. Just saw his personals ID on millionaires personals site """C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" yesterday. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on ~that site.

LOVE CARROTTOP's picture

Hahahahaha! That was the most awesome thing I have ever seen. Just the look on their faces! "Don't fuck up. Don't fuck up. Coonnnnnnnncentrate. Just spin it. Ok, now frolic around in a circle. Good. FOCUS. Ok, now dance on your tippy toes. You're so graceful, self."

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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.

ahahaha that made my day! Can't believe they could keep a straight face throughout?

I'm sure that was the result of MONTHS of practice!

loozer's picture

No wonder Katie bolted.

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When tryin' to untangle
The Jingle from the Jangle
It's easy if you listen with your heart.
Sing Me, Sing Me, Sing Me...

That looked like something I would have organized for talent night at my Eastern Star chapter. Scary to think people are getting their daily news offa this show.

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Don't dream it... BE it!

Clarisse's picture

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

*head meet desk*

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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K

Silvara0428's picture

stupid yet funny in a mind numbing sort of way
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".

islandgirl's picture

The only good thing about that was the song.

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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."

snowpiece's picture

LOL so stoooooopit!

****************************1/20/09
"Blame it on the London air!"

Stock Broker's picture

Can someone strap these 2 worthless egomaniacs to the hood of a car and send it over a cliff?