Tuesday, August 19th 2008
Why Did They Cover Up His Hot Body?!
The king of all humans, Michael Phelps, shot this Sports Illustrated cover on Sunday night in China. The issue will already be on newsstands tomorrow. Those bitches are quick!
This is what I don't understand. Why would they cover up his hot body?! That shit is his real gold medal! I mean, they really should have just wrapped the gold medals around the top of his head instead. Hide the flaws and show us what we really want to see! On second thought, they should have just hung the gold medals from his golden peen. And I'm not joking. His peen is probably made of gold.
Here's the inspiration for Phelps' SI cover. Mark Spitz took this iconic image back in 1972. Spitz's version wins. Sorry. It's all about the pornstache.
VIA Cover Awards
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IG ♥♥ Uh yeah, hanging medals......
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Spitz was so Magnum PI hot shit!! Sexy porn beast!
I just can't get past Phelps' face...he looks like he has giantism in the face and was on the bottle or thumb too long in the teeth. Yet I'm sure he gives not a fuck what I think of his looks, he's going to be one rich bitch after this.
Submitted by EvilShoe on August 19, 2008 - 7:30am.
Submitted by FatMartha on August 19, 2008 - 9:28am.
I think we all know what the biggest issue at hand is...
How did they manage to get the medals to hang like that??? Double-sided tape?
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I don't know but it bothers me that its uneven. I have alittle OCD with some things. I want to adjust them. LOL
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It's Phelps's mug that needs the adjusting.
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
Dear Michael Phelps,
Where in the holy hellfuck are your PUBES???????
Never mind, I don't really want to know. Thank you for keeping me so entertained by the possibility that at the slightest misstep, your junk could have flipped over the top of those ridiulously low rise Spanx of yours. My husband owes me $20 because he lost the bet.
Sincerely,
ISMU
P.S. I hope you spend some of your endorsement money on getting your ears pinned and a new grill.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Fuck yeah, the pornstache wins.
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
God his face makes me think of andre the giant. eww!!!
Spitz is way hotter all the way around.
Hahaha, DeeDee! ♥ You mean they're good to hang gold medals off of? WHAT???
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
he may have an olympian body but he is fug with giant ears, can't have everything i guess
Team Phelps! Hit big ears are good for handles.....if you know what I mean. :P
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Even Spitz's medals scream "It came from the 70's"! What, are they on gold ropes?? So he could conveniently rock them at the disco??
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Phelps is hot
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Spitz is hotter
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Submitted by FatMartha on August 19, 2008 - 9:28am.
I think we all know what the biggest issue at hand is...
How did they manage to get the medals to hang like that??? Double-sided tape?
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I don't know but it bothers me that its uneven. I have alittle OCD with some things. I want to adjust them. LOL
i love that spitz's gold medals are on chains making him look more porn like woo
I'd take '70s Mark Spitz over Phelps any day...wayyyyyyyyyy hotter
Mark Spitz is still sexier, no question.
How long before Phelps appears on a Wheaties box? Do they still do that?
Remember John Belushi's spot on SNL: Little Chocolate Donuts Cereal? Classic.
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
I think we all know what the biggest issue at hand is...
How did they manage to get the medals to hang like that??? Double-sided tape?
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Hi5.
This dude again?
Resistance is futile, I suppose.
Ok, Michael. Meet me in Vegas. I'll bring the Patron and the paparazzi, you bring your bod and your wallet. Let's fucking do this! You've been a disciplined athlete for quite some time. I know you had the DUI and all, but you're due for another scandal. Let me get you on the cover of the Enquirer. That's when you've really arrived!
I imagine the Phelp-a-loonies will be here soon.
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Dick happens! - MK
I love Spitz' porn stash! Fabulous!
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Whenever you feel fat, just look at one of your pinkies. I love my pinkies. - MK, duh.
LMAO @ "Speaking of, who is Michael Phelps? If he's won so many medals, why isn't he getting any media coverage?"
Like someone said yesterday... within two weeks he will be completely irrelevant and within a year no one will give a shit.
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Hi5.
Ouch!!! I imagine Spitz ain't gonna like this...
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
Wow, he looks extra dooffish here
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"Blame it on the London air!"
Phelps' neck is freakishly long and the same width as his head.
Spitz is hot.
Damn. Give me Mark Spitz any day! Mmmmmm. Even the moustache is sexy. And the medal chains look much better than Michael Phelps' halter top. Speaking of, who is Michael Phelps? If he's won so many medals, why isn't he getting any media coverage?
Team Spitz!
There is nothing attractive about a man whose neck size is greater than his head. It is a Zippy-the-Pinhead look.
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"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
He's a hell of a swimmer, but with a face only a mother, (who was told that she looked like Liz Taylor 40 years ago and is still going with it), could love.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
why does he look like hte short bus version of spitz?
Still sick of hearing about his ugly mug (and the rest of him, too) but what he did was pretty impressive. I have to agree with MK about Spitz's photo though... at least you can see the hot through the porn 'stache.
*goes back to eating her Cheeto/Dorito mix*
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Hi5.
Oh FUCK, not you too with this kid MK!!!
I'm praying you only gave him a tag of his own because you know like me this one will get another DUI or fuck up somehow.
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Dick happens! - MK
I dunno...I've always had a thing for the lanky ones...'tis been my experience that the super-tall, lanky ones are packing MAJOR heat.
Phelps...call me!! ;-)
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We'll build a fire in your eyes, when the color's getting brighter.
[Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Gold Lion"]
Vote for me! It's free...and if I win, I'll buy an ad on D-Listed to thank you! (first row, first from left)
http://billboardphoto.nielsencontests.com/bin/Rate?search=193__194
IG - hahahahaaa! hehe made me augh. scroll to where you cant see the medals but you can see the ribbons.... trannylicious! :D
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
ahahaha I did, too, islandgirl!!! Truly one of the best moments of these olympics for me, anyway
What happened to his shawts?
Please don't make me think about his peen again. Thank you.
When I scrolled down first I thought he was wearing a halter top.
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
i'm disappointed there's no crotch shots...
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the world is great big old place for all of us to fuck up in it...
I want to see Phelps with blonde curls now that'd be hot.
I bet Spitz is having a diva meltdown about the cover.
ROFFPNMFPLMFAO.
Michael Phelps is my favorite player. By the way, I saw his profile on millionaire&celeb dating site """""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" last week. It is said he is only intersted in dating wealthy young women on that site.
He has enough hardware to cover up that Gumpish mug of his. Psh. You don't flaunt the bad and cover up the good!
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ